Is this a red flag?

If your bf of 3 years has had the same password on his phone for quite a while and he gave it to you but he’s changed it and won’t let you have it, is that a red flag?

135 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is this a red flag?

I just had this same fight with my partner of 4 years. It’s a red flag definitely.

1 Like

If you have to ask yourself that question, you should already know the answer…

I think you already know the answer if you’re asking the question…

If he had nothing to hide he’d hide nothing.

2 Likes

Him needing to hand over his passwords is a red flag :woman_shrugging:

12 Likes

Huge. Red. Flag. That’s definitely something to communicate with him about. Don’t push it to the side to avoid any hurt feelings, you’ll regret it later. Talk to him.

The real question should by why do you feel the need to go through his phone ? If you need to dig through his stuff , the trust is already gone

9 Likes

What would you tell someone else asking the same question as you?

Yes, but you asking for his password is also a red flag :triangular_flag_on_post: just because you’re together doesn’t mean he has no right to privacy.

9 Likes

It’s also a red flag :triangular_flag_on_post: that you’re asking for his password.

4 Likes

Nah. Hes allowed his privacy.

3 Likes

If there’s no trust in the relationship, there is no relationship at all :woman_shrugging:t3:

Depends did he change his password because you are acting crazy and always bothering him and going through his phone, sometimes men have conversations with just the boys and stuff that you have no right to look. My wife and I have an open phone policy but we have also never bothered to go through eat others phones because we have no reason. You listed no reason why you need to see what’s on his phone other then you want to and he changed the password

1 Like

He has a right to privacy. But if you’ve both always been open with your phones and now he’s protective of it, Red flag. & if you’re all of a sudden feeling like you NEED to see his phone, that’s your answer.

You’re the red flag.

5 Likes

He’s chatting to other women no doubt

1 Like

What’s your gut tell you?

1 Like

For what reason do u need to know it x u need to ask yourself why u want it and then discuss calmy with him about it x

is this satire lmaoooo

1 Like

If you used the password to dig through his entire phone, I can see why he changed it and didn’t want to give it to you. You feeling like you have to have his password is also a red flag. I freaking keep my phone on my boyfriend’s pocket when I don’t have one. I’ve never looked through his phone. I think I’ve only used his phone when he asked me to and to call my phone because I misplaced mine.

2 Likes

Yes a red flag ! He’s hiding something

Listen to ur gut. It’s never wrong really.

1 Like

Nope he’s aloud to have his privacy and don’t have to give you his password to you. You digging around his phone and wanting his password could be a red flag for trying to control him

1 Like

My ex did that, said he deserved “privacy” & if I didn’t trust him our relationship wasn’t going to work. Hah. He was sleeping with someone else & cheated on me for months :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

9 Likes

Sounds like you’re the :triangular_flag_on_post:

If you don’t have trust, you don’t have a relationship.

You should leave him, he deserves better.

1 Like

My husband did this. Made me more curious. Made me want to be in it more. I found out he was secretly talking and spending time with an ex, even went out of state with her. When we first got together I uncovered he was still living with her and he lied to me bc he told me he lived with a cousin and roommates. There was never a cousin, he lived with her and her alone. Then he moved in with me. (I had no idea for years bc he never wanted me to touch his phone, but curiosity got the best of me) he was talking to her every single morning. When I confronted him he admitted it but didn’t want to take any responsibility trying to say they were just friends. But how do you keep “just a friend” from someone you’re supposed to be with and having children with? I have never said he couldn’t have friends or even friends of the opposite gender. What hurt was she was a secret to me, but she knew all about me. She even had me blocked on Facebook! What kind of “friend” of your significant others does that when they’ve never talked to them let alone they didn’t even know you existed!? Well until now. So it is a flag to me now. But if they’re like mine he just forgot to delete his communication with her for a week. He usually deleted everything and kept everything unable for me to check his history. If someone’s phone is too clean it’s probably because they delete stuff but it’s not able to be proved either. Yeah I have so many trust issues now.

2 Likes

Maybe you keep looking through his phone and hes fed up with it .doesn’t mean he’s cheating on you .

2 Likes

Why did he change it? Have y’all had issues before with you seeing something in his phone and it turning into a fight? Imo we all deserve privacy. My husband and I know each others passwords but the only time we are on each other’s phone is if we are busy and the only one picks up. We’ve been together since high school (2006) and we’ve never needed or wanted to search through each others phones ect.

That all depends - were you constantly going into his phone to snoop and disrespecting his trust in you of having it? Or was it a mutual thing of giving it to you in case you needed to go into his phone to get some sort info that you/he may need, answer texts for him in case he’s busy, etc? If it’s the second, then yes, there is a possibility of it being a red flag.

1 Like

Next thing you know he’ll be working lots of overtime and taking his underwear to the laundromat to wash

Why? Do you give him all your passwords? I just find that odd, personally. Everyone’s entitled to some privacy on their personal accounts.

1 Like

just ask for the new password?.. :woman_facepalming:t2:

1 Like

Or you can respect his privacy, you’re not entitled to anything.

5 Likes

I would say red flag… but is there any other flags? He could be planning something for you. So you have a birthday or anything coming up? My husband does not protect his phone, ever in 10 years. Our emails are even sinked because Google did it by accident one time and we never worried about separating them. One day he got a text message from a friend of mine, turned out they were planning on a surprise visit for our kids to meet( they are 1 and 2) and I ruined it by reading that message. I never told him. Just saying, there are other reasons but I would have been super suspicious if he had put a code on his phone.

1 Like

That’s like the unspoken red flagiest red flags :rofl::rofl::rofl:

1 Like

The boyfriend says, unfortunately yes

Everyone saying its a red flag lol as If nobody has a right to their own privacy. I wouldn’t be with someone I felt I was owed the password to breach their privacy. Someone wanting privacy doesn’t mean they’re hiding something. :woozy_face: ya’ll need help

7 Likes

Whoooo knows. Just end it, because living like that always suspicious, never works out anyway. 💁

you’re not entitled to have his password. if he wants to give you it then fair enough, but he doesn’t have to and that is absolutely fine. also, the biggest red flag would be you not trusting him, if you don’t trust him then don’t be with him. my ex used to say i was well sketchy because my phone is always on vibrate, i have a password and take it everywhere with me, but that’s how i’ve always been, it doesn’t mean i was upto anything.

5 Likes

I’ve never had my husband’s password and he’s never had mine, nor do we ask for each other’s. :woman_shrugging:t4:

2 Likes

If you’re looking for a sign. It’s a sign. Sounds fishy to me. But I don’t believe in password sharing.

1 Like

This kind of nosey relationship prob wont wk out. Frankly its why ive been single for yrs i wont put up with it. Never gone through anyones phone. There are enough probs in life without looking for more probs. Pick your battles. If you DONT TRUST​:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: him its already over.

5 Likes

Yes. Absolutely yes. No doubts. No soft words. He’s up to something. Be very concerned

2 Likes

I think that if he always had a passcode and never shared it it wouldn’t be a be a big deal. Since it’s a new thing I’d be concerned about it. Go with your gut feeling!

2 Likes

Scotty and I both have each other’s Facebook and messenger. I’ve NEVER one time looked into his stuff or asked. He GAVE them to me. Visa versa…we are open. Theres nothing to hide!

I only do that to my kids when I’m planning something for them or actually ordered them something

But relationship wise,and jmo,but if you have to check his :poop: then it’s pointless to be together. We all have our own lives, and trust has to be a part of a relationship.

2 Likes

Why would you need your boyfriend phone password?

3 Likes

I would say yes.
Every relationship is different. If he had never shared his password to begin with I would say no, it’s not. But considering you said you’ve always known it until recently, when he changed it and didn’t tell you, yeah that’s sketchy.

Don’t listen to these people putting their relationships on you. Who cares if y’all shared passwords. Some relationships are like that. Mine is. We know each other’s passwords. If I EVER needed to look, I could and vice versa. But we don’t. Gives us a bigger sense of trust that we have nothing to hide.

I’ll even ask him to check my calls or messages, and vice versa. So for your man to just randomly switch up, is not normal. It’s sketchy. And totally a :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

You shouldn’t have it anyways fucking hate women that think they are entitled to use stuff that belongs to us newsflash you ain’t

Do you trust him? To give him privacy.

1 Like

I’d say so. Dump the cad.

Why is that even a question?🤷 If it wasn’t a red flag you wouldn’t be asking.🤦

Trust pattern of behaviour, his behaviour changed regarding you having the password, trust that something is amiss and ask why you’re not able to have it and if you can also withhold your password as well.

1 Like

Base on experience hell yes!! I was even gaslighted as paranoid, not trusting, invading privacy…but oh lala…months after, a side chick contacted me…hahaha boommm!!! So much for privacy…joke was on him

I don’t have my husbands password and he doesn’t have mine. We do not feel the need to go through each others things. If you do not trust him why be with him. Maybe he just wants privacy.

1 Like

I mean if he feels he needs a pw on his phone there’s something he is hiding BUT you should be respecting his privacy and not be going through his phone. Why do you feel you have a right to his phone?

2 Likes

Did he buy new underwear recently? That’s the #1 clue.

1 Like

I don’t know my husband’s passcode. He has a right to privacy, I trust him. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be with him. He doesn’t touch my phone and I don’t touch his.

4 Likes

I think it’s a red flag although I wouldn’t be going through his phone to begin with

Ok but let me throw out there iv changed my password when surprises where being planed and he has to because I’m curious…

Maybe he’s going to propose, has stuff on there pertaining to it, and doesn’t want your nosy self to ruin the surprise.

Sounds to me you want to control him or have control of his accounts… He should walk away and find someone less invasive…

1 Like

Yes it is, He cheating or getting ready to.

3 Likes

Do cats meow? I mean I’d take that as a red flag

What is the deal with everyone wanting passwords for each other’s phones etc… you either trust the person you are with or you don’t… if you don’t there is your answer to alllllll your questions.

6 Likes

l get paid over $120 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18698 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE… https://Dollarjobzsign12.surge.sh

Why do y’all come here to ask the most obvious questions? :woman_facepalming:

1 Like

People in the comments are so rude. Girl, ask him about it. Communicate and see how it goes. Don’t assume the worst yet, trust that you will see in the right time what’s meant to be

I change mine…but i give it to him if he asks for it :woman_shrugging: i wouldnt hide it.

Does a bear sh!t in the woods? :roll_eyes:

I’m not so sure. Is this the only thing that has changed? Or has there been other indicators? For example… has his behavior changed ect…

My password changes ever 6 months or so, and my phone is thumbprint protected as well. Thats more so because I don’t like keeping the same password for long periods of time. And my spouse and I don’t usually keep each other apprised of it.

Edit to add that he might be tired of feeling like he has some sort of obligation to give it to you or he wasn’t ok with it from the get go, and he’s finally had enough of it. :woman_shrugging:
Have you asked him why?

3 Likes

Does he have an iPhone? My iPhone just prompted me that my password has been the same for too long…

1 Like

I’ve never known my partners- if I feel the need to know it I may as well leave because I don’t trust him :woman_shrugging:t2:

1 Like

The fact u want it is a red flag haha

5 Likes

You should never have each other’s passwords. That shit is so juvenile.

I use to check my husband’s phone after he cheated on me a few years ago but I finally got to the point where I’d rather not know. Maybe that’s crappy of me but if he’s cheating I don’t want to go looking for it. In other words, my husband did change his password recently but he gave it to me when I needed to get on his phone for something. I didn’t look for more than what I was there for.

4 Likes

If I felt the need to check his phone he wouldnt be my partner tbh. We dont use each others phones . A relationship is all about trust.

2 Likes

I have a password on my phone since 2017. My current boyfriend doesn’t have my password. If he needs to get on my phone he can tell me and I’ll type it in for him to use. I have had a password on my phone because I had sexy pictures of myself when I was with my ex. I had deleted all the ones I could find on my Google photos but that doesn’t mean I missed one or 2. I also have 3 kids (my 1 biological, and 2 bonus) and I don’t want them to mess with my phone. I am not hiding anything from my boyfriend but at the same time I don’t want him to search something that would cause problems with us because he found something that happened before me and him was dating. Now on my boyfriend’s phone he keeps his unlocked because he doesn’t like messing with password/pins because he has trouble remembering stuff like that. I never ask him for his phone unless my phone runs out of data (my data plan is only 2gb) and I need to look something up when we are not home, or if my phone gets stuck on stupid and won’t let me call out of my phone which as happened a couple times. We trust each other

l get paid over $120 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $21216 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE… https://Dollarjobzsign35.surge.sh

If your boyfriend hands you a flag, and it’s red, is that a red flag? Asking for this girl.

9 Likes

Obviously there are trust issues. You either trust him or you don’t. My partner and I have passwords, and neither know the others. Its ultimately up to you on if you trust him or not.

I feel like this is deeper than a password. If you can’t trust your partner then don’t be with them

1 Like

What do YOU think?! LOL

2 Likes

The fact that you feel you need it is a red flag.

3 Likes

Why do you need his phone password anyway?

2 Likes

It sounds like you check it pretty regularly, shit I would change it too. That’s annoying. If he hasn’t done anything wrong for 3 years and you’re still snooping, that’s a red flag

I would say no. I change mine often. I know my husband’s. He usually doesn’t know mine. But we also don’t feel the need to be in each other’s phones. I am entitled to privacy and so is he

1 Like

I don’t understand why anyone would feel the need to go through partners phone… you either trust them or you don’t…and if you dont you’re wasting your time on the wrong person​:joy::rofl:

1 Like

The fact that you think you need his password is a big red flag on your part.

1 Like

You don’t need his passcode! Everyone deserves privacy!

Nope. My husband is the biggest tech computer software builder geek and he understands that passwords are getting hacked everywhere. Ofcourse be builds the security as well. So to protect his information, passwords gets change once a month. Its really no big deal if this was the issue. I wouldn’t make something out of nothing. However of he was cheated in the past then worry because he is doing it again. Then you have to ask yourself, why are you in a relationship with someone who you can’t trust. If your the one with insecurity issues, then you know for sure the problem is not him, its you. Seek therapy for yourself. Work on you. You can’t control anyone’s actions, but you ha e control over yoir own.

So…. How did you even know he changed it? Do you often go through his phone?? If you don’t trust him, why are you with him? He has a right to privacy, as do you.

1 Like

Have you been scrolling a lot on his phone.Maybe he just wants more privacy, if not red flag big time

Sounds like one to me

Yes trust should go both ways you should both know the passwords of each other’s phones and especially if children and make sure to check theirs too

From experience…if you have to ask if it’s a red flag, chances are you already know it is.

Kinda, it depends if he just changed it and won’t give it to you now after all this time or if he just changed it and forgot to tell you, I pick up and use my partners phone all the time. I don’t even go through it but if I did I could because that’s our boundaries. If I picked it up one day and it wasn’t unlocking I’d ask first what it is and if he doesn’t give it to me or says why or anything I’d be a little sus. It’s weird to change a habit all of a sudden for sure but it honestly could be they wanted to change it and forgot to mention what it is.

It’s no big deal he changed it. It’s a very big deal he won’t share his password again. Or allow you to see his phone if he puts the password in. :triangular_flag_on_post: