Is this cultural?

My husband & I have been together 13 years. We have 3 sons. He’s Greek and there are a lot of cultural differences. All of his family are mostly in Greece. They have said things like he should have never come to America, I’ve dealt with him threatening divorce. Our youngest is 4 yrs old and he also tried to divorce me when I found out I was pregnant. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing or genetic, but he can be very hateful. The way he speaks to me is the same way his mom speaks to his dad. I’m not working. Our home is “his” his parents helped him buy. Anything they’ve done to help us, they made sure it was gifted to him because they have this unhealthy problem w not wanting their children to have things in spouses name in fear of the other spouse getting it. This Christmas had been terrible, my son tested positive for Covid. I’m sure I have it too. He layed on the couch watching me cook, knowing I’m sick, so that our kids Christmas wouldn’t be ruined due to Covid & not being able to see my family. Not even questioning if I needed help because I’m sick. I had already told him he needed to help because I just can’t do it by myself sick. I finally went upstairs and layed down and 2 hours later he came upstairs to see if I felt hot. Because I asked my son to bring me thermometer. It then blew up. I asked how he could not even offer to help… I got cussed out. Ignored. Today he wants a divorce. I just don’t understand someone with such an ugly heart.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Is this cultural?

Get the divorce— you’re better off. Then cash the spousal support checks each month with a smile on your face. If you’re going to do everything alone— do everything alone!

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That’s not cultural. He’s a :poop: person. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Make his wish come true.

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If this is how he treats you on a regular basis, get the divorce.
Being treated like a doormat and having divorce threatened time and time again is absolutely not something you should live with.

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I would give him that divorce

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Give him a divorce and be done with him.

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So get divorced… if the house isn’t in the parents name only his then you are entitled to half… if just the parents then your Fu$ked but there is child support for your three sons. So get divorced, my husband couldn’t bring up the divorce thing cause I would beat him to it!!! And HE is horrible why would you stay… I left with no job no place to go cause the house was in my ex-husband parents name only but I borrowed money got and apartment and job and paid it back… BEST decision ever!!!

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He’s legit just a shitty person who grew up witnessing his mom treat his dad the same way so thinks it’s okay to treat his spouses the same :unamused: get that divorce 💁 take those kids somewhere else for the time being until you are able to get your feet back on the ground wether it be with family or a friend but you definitely need out of that situation as your children are going to grow up the exact same way and think that they way you’re being treated is okay to do to their spouses

You and your children deserve better!!!

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There’s no excuse for that disrespectful behavior. If it’s cultural then it doesn’t say much for his heritage.

Maybe his parents don’t understand US law. Since you’re married anything in his name also belongs to you. (I just had this discussion with my son to never get married because she can take everything from him especially if there’s kids). File for divorce & custody ASAP. Fight for the house & everything else. Make sure to get it in the custody agreement that the children can not leave the country & never allow him to get them passports.

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Honestly I believe it is more the old school mentality that was carried through the generations. My husband’s family is in Poland. My husband pretty much treats me the same way. His father treated his mother the same way. I’m not saying it’s right. I will be the one filing though. I deserve better and I will not let my son believe it is ok to treat women this way. I saw the red flags and ignored them. Don’t do the same for too long. I’m going on 6 years

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He’s an asshat. Simple as that. Leave now! You deserve so much better than someone who treats you like dirt! It doesn’t matter if it’s culture or just him, he is the kind of person who deserves to spend his life alone! Pick yourself up, take your kids and get out, and don’t look back!! Good luck to you…:heart: Shame on him!!:angry:

I would leave. It’s not worth going through life unhappy. You only get one life. Be happy! He just sounds like a pos.

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Let him have his divorce… you’ll be much better off. Make sure he doesn’t have their passports.

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why would you want to stay with a man like that regardless of his race or culture, and also i would never let a little bitch arse man talk or treat me like that

With everything you’ve said, I would say don’t announce to him your plans, just line your ducks up and leave then file. These behaviors of his could escalate ~ be safe.

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Not cultural. Just toxic.
Get out before it becomes physical. Verbal and mental abuse is just as abusive honestly.
Give him his divorce.
God bless y’all his healing touch. Hope you get better soon.

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He is clearly telling you he wants a divorce. So give it to him. No reason to live unhappy or force him to stay in a marriage he clearly doesn’t want to be in.

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Give him the divorce and get a lawyer. File for emergency custody of the kids. Otherwise, if you don’t go through court, he can take them out of the country and it’s nothing considered kidnapping.

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Just get a divorce so he can go back to being a mummies boy.

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Give him the divorce. You deserve better. Period.

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Just leave him if he doesnt appreciate you and doesnt try to work things out. Thats a mean sounding person.

That’s not cultural, it’s just toxic. He’s toxic and so is the family he came from.

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Get a good lawyer and make him sorry he’s asked for a divorce.

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Give it to him, you don’t need his ugliness

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If he got the house after you were married then it belongs to the marital assets. Start collecting a nest egg in case and gather important papers and put in a private security box or with family. Talk to a lawyer.

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Let that mother f*cker do you a huge favour and divorce you. Sounds like a wanker :face_vomiting:

Get legal advice as to what you are entitled to as his spouse and mother of the children so when you agree to the divorce you are not taken advantage of. He has to provide for the children and the fact you have not worked he may well have to make some payment for you.

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Doesn’t matter whose name is on stuff; it’s community property and you deserve half.

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If there’s love different cultures can work. This marriage is finished. No respect at all. No care No nothing. If it was me I’d be long gone. I have self value. He doesn’t seem to value you at all. Why do you stay in such relationship. Because of children? No. Not good enough reason to stay. Be kind to yourself and do yourself a favor.

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GET OUT. I know it’s going to be hard but you can’t keep exposing yourself and your kids to this type of abuse.

Sorry for the abuse you enduring.:hugs:

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Give him what he wants you don’t deserve that bs anyways, cultural or not it’s abuse. And u should not deal with it.

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So why the hell aren’t you saying “fantastic lets do it” give him the divorce. Don’t waste your time with the PoS

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Tell him to hurry up and get the divorce papers so you can sign them

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You can make him sell house and get half.

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Get a divorce quick . You deserve so much better x

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Divorce his ass. He’s trash.

These kids see how there dad is acting and as long as you stay they will think its ok I would give him the divorce if not for you at least for the kids

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Run. I’m sorry but I could not handle someone treating me that way period.

Get a lawyer also have your lawyer be responsible to pay your lawyer tell lawyer since your husband wants divorce so he can go back to Greece to mommy you want soul custody and at least if not all of everything else especially since he’s leaving country as well as child support and spousal support also that he is verbally abusive get him where hurts the most back pocket

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Grant him the damn divorce. Get a lawyer. Anything obtained during your marriage will be split 50/50 even if his parents don’t like it, unless there is a prenup.

Get a divorce then. Why stay in that toxic relationship? You are not doing you or your kids any good by staying. Js

Pack up & leave…don’t even tell him, just an outfit each & go…too toxic an environment for your children to be in he has no respect never mind love…just go…x

Let him have it! If he wants it, give it to him! He clearly doesn’t want to be together to threaten it so much. The extended family sounds very toxic. When you’re feeling better, sort out where you can go and when you have opportunity when he’s not around , pack all your stuff and leave. You deserve far far better, tge kids deserve a far far better role model, mil is toxic and needs to stay away.

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As horrible as it sounds, give him what he wants, divorce him, let him be alone or run back to mummy. He sounds childish, but then on the other hand also sounds like he is just acting the way he has ever known if his kum is like it to his dad. You and your kids deserve so much better.

Divorce his ass and you’ll probably get half of everything give his douche ass self what he deserves… there’s wayyy better out there. Life’s to short to cut yourself short

Go to a lawyer and see what your options are. At the very least he should have to pay alimony and child support.

It’s not a cultural thing. If my dad ever spoke to his parents in any way, they’d smack him upside the head until he groveled for forgiveness. Sounds like he’s just a complete POS. Girl run. Fucking RUN.

Give him the divorce move on and enjoy ur life xx

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I’d give him exactly what he wants. Why do you wanna stay with someone who treats like crap?

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Men like this like to ruin the holidays by creating instability & drama. They usually calm down after the holiday period for a while again. Don’t think it will go away it just goes down to a simmer for a while before boiling over again.
Stay quiet while you get your ducks in a row. Get a lawyer or speak to a legal aid lawyer. See if leaving the home with the kids or staying & putting him out is the best thing to do.
Sort out somewhere to stay. Document any & all abusive behaviors & start to gather up money & open bank accounts that only you have access to. Get access to a credit card that’s only in your name. Start to organise & pack clothes for you & the kids & hide them somewhere. I have been here & this behaviour never gets better. Only worse but get ready.

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Give him his divorce! I’m usually for trying to work things out, but if he wants to keep using divorce as a threat and punishment when he doesn’t get his way then give his @$& what he and his family want. Idk if ppl from Greece need visa’s and stuff but if so did he have that before u got together or did u help him get it? Also sense ur in the US I’m pretty sure that even if its in his name legally ur bind now so whats his is urs and whats urs is his, so if u do divorce u won’t be left with nothing so idk why his parents think u would.

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I knew a lady who was like you.3 sons and her husband same. Long story short. They built a business, had beautiful mansion, she stayed home he worked, he did divorce her and had all the money sent to Greece. She got nothing and he left his sons a broke business and went back to Greece. I say you better run. You get a divorce. Make sure a good lawyer. They can take your babies. The one l known did.

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I would say goodbye and not look back. Because you shouldn’t be treated that way.

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So you think you might have covid but your cooking dinner for him and your other 2 sons and he’s ok with this. Ugh I don’t get people if he wants a divorce give him what he wants

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Why do you stay? Your kids deserve better.

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Give him a divorce ! And tell him merry Christmas!

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Let him divorce you. Be thankful for the blessing.

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Take the kids and get the heck out. That’s not a marriage. That’s total control and won’t get any better. Just be sure to make a safe escape.

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It’s not cultural. He’s a jerk who wasn’t raised right.

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Get shut of him give him a divorce he will have to pay towards your sons keep so do it for yourself and be happy instead of sad all the time

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Give him the divorce and run

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Tell him ok but you’ll have too pay child support.
Daycare fees & take all of them every weekend
He wants to be ugly
Best thing for him

Girl give that man what he wants & get yourself someone who appreciates YOU!!!

:triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post: run. Run and never look back.

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Regardless of what was “gifted” to him, its marital property and you are entitled to half of it. Let his parents help him pay child support and spousal support and get away from him. You see already that his behavior is learned from his mom and you dont want your boys learning the same thing because thats the only example they see. Show them a different life!

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Boy bye. That’s not cultural that’s the crappy way he was raised. It was bread into him. There’s a ton of nice guys out there. Find one asap

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Give him the divorce and live happily ever after. You and your children deserve so much better. Wishing you the very best.

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I would divorce him he clearly is emotionally abusive and don’t care about you

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File for divorce, take the kids and half of the house. While you’re at it take half of everything else too.

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Everything that was bought after y’all married is legally half yours give him the divorce let him go back to Greece

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Sounds like a divorce would be in your favor. You are entitled to half of the belongings obtained after marriage.

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Just cause it was “gifted” doesn’t mean anything give him want he wants and take half of everything including the “gift” your married it’s yours to.

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The cash was a gift not the house. Honestly screw what you get set yourself up for greatness and leave his ass.

I’m married to a Greek man and it is definitely not cultural. He’s just a piece of shit. Get out while you can.

Be the genie :woman_genie: he’s looking for an grant him his wish!

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You sound miserable with this “man” give him what he wants a divorce. He will soon realise what he had and then it will be to late. You deserve someone that treats you with respect and you will definitely find that person. Hope your ok.

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Cultural or not…he’s not nice…grant his divorce wish and move on with your life with your child…

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Give him the divorce e

First, you need to leave.
Second, depending on your state, that house he thinks is all his… it’s half yours.

It will never get better. He is like this because he chooses to be.

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You have to decide if this is how you want to live. If it’s not, make plans to leave. Start saving money because you don’t want to be broke and alone. Maybe start working part time or find a job working from home. I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s hard if you go or stay… but YOU get to pick your hard. :heart:

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Coming from this type of culture let him have his divorce. I don’t practice this but most of my family does. It will not change I promise you. You will never he equal in their eyes and they will bash you until he believes them and leaves. Talk to a lawyer. His family is always first and is already getting him to turn on you. I’m sorry hun. It’s rough.

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Give him his divorce… and find your happiness
Life is too short to be anything but happy :blush:

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You should divorce. My old boss was Greek and was the exact same way, to his wife & me. It’s def a cultural thing/how they were raised and you deserve better. He will never change.

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You’ve been married 13 years and you’re just now asking this question?

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Cultural or not he’s just a raging d*ck.

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He isn’t worth the stress he brings you. I would tell him type up the papers and you will do what you need to on your end. Alimony and child support. Make plan B

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He’s an asshole. Divorce him I don’t care where he’s from!

It’s not cultural. You’re just married to the wrong man.

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Divorce him girl! Ugly is ugly, it doesn’t have anything to do with his culture. Trust me there are plenty of Greek people, that are loving I’m sure. If he loved you, he would not act/treat you like that.

lol girl just let him divorce you. you and your children are better off!!

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A divorce judge will not see the house as solely 'his". Bet on that. Serve him papers and tell him to get out. If he wants to get nasty or physical call the police and file a restraining order.

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Just let him divorce you. And unless the house is in his parents name or in a trust you’d still get half if it was acquired after marriage.

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Screw being treated like you’re nothing! You only get one life to live! Don’t waste it on humans that couldn’t care less about you!

Divorce his sorry butt & live your life for you & your kids girl!

Cultural - no. Sounds like he’s just a dick. 13 years? Is this new behavior? If yes, you’ve got something else going making him feel like he’s got all the control. If no, then sounds like you’ve already waited too long and he may see that as permission to continue his ways. Let him pursue the divorce, half the assets are yours unless there is some contract between you with agreement otherwise. Collect child support for your kids. Collect your alimony and move on.

You’ve been married more than 10 years, you’ll get spousal support and child support. All assets/debt that were acquired during the marriage will be split. He wants a divorce, give it to him and hire a lawyer. You said he’s been wanting this divorce for years, why be miserable with someone that undervalues you and doesn’t want to be with you?

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Tell me you want a divorce once and it’s done. This man wants a divorce from you every other week. Girl, be done!

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Just be because it’s not in your name doesn’t mean you have no rights to it. Divorce him put him on child support and spousal support if you can.

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