I know it’s normal to fight but is it ok for your s/o to say really hurtful things in a fight, then act as if it’s ok because they where mad??
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Take a plate smash it on the floor, glue it back together and say sorry to the plate. Will it ever be the same again no it’s emotional abuse
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A form of abuse. He’s telling you truly what he thinks. Then brainwashes you to believe he doesn’t feel that way. Mental abuse.
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Not ok but they still do to hurt us:pleading_face:
No because you never forget and it builds massive resentment over time as well as self image/doubt issues, it’s verbal abuse.
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It’s literally domestic abuse
I’ve got a temper. I know that I say things that I don’t mean when I’m angry. So I walk away instead of fighting and revisit the discussion with a calmer mind. Getting angry is normal but taking it out on other people and saying intentionally hurtful things isn’t okay. Getting in people’s faces when angry also isn’t okay.
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Get away from this person. Making yourself accept this will land you in mental hosp/therapy. You prob dont want to be alone with him when/if you breakup. Gets outta hand/scary
My now ex has done this to me for nearly 6 years. Finally called it quits this week for my mental health and for my children’s sake. What he’s doing is called gaslighting. I put up with it for so long and seriously regret not leaving him years ago xx
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Fighting is not normal in a healthy relationship. Using hurtful words is emotional abuse. If you had an adult daughter would you want her treated like you are being treated? Probably not. Get out now you deserve better.
Depends what is said … we all have at 1 tine or another said things we don’t mean in the heat of a moment. And people make mistakes it’s up to you weather it has gone to far
Nope. Some would see our relationship as abusive. My husband and i have ptsd so we get each other on a different level even when its hurtful- also we call each other out and i have ppd- 3 week old and hes not home to help. mainly i say hurtful things. I do apologize but after saying something nicely for a 100 times and it not changing i get mean. Its a part of being seen not heard in childhood but i never act like it never happened and my behavior is just ok and not hurtful.
Does he take any responsibility or try to improve on it? People often say hurtful things when angry especially if not listened to or pushing it down but apologizing and owning up to it is key.
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Quite often during an argument we just automatically say hurtful words to each other
As long as you don’t go to bed angry with each other
I’m pretty sure you gave as good as you got
Say it forget it
They are only words
I mean I think it’s a lil normal to say things we don’t mean, especially when we’re mad and hurt ppl. Don’t make it right, or acceptable though.
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I know that sometimes when I’m very angry I will say mean things I don’t always mean. It’s wrong and I’ve learned to work on it and control thinking before I just speak out of anger
It’s called verbal abuse and he will tear your self esteem down. Please run as fast as you can. If he loved you he would not hurt you. If you stay it will only get worse. Remember he thinks it’s okay. 
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Nope those hurtful things you say aren’t going to go away and you probably meant them.
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A lot of truth comes out in anger. I would talk to him and both of you think about the things he said and talk about them.
No and that’s not the right way to fight/argue. Not only does it tear apart the relationship but it takes away from whatever’s issue needs to be resolved.
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Is it okay no, does it happen alot yes… But it is hard to judge based on this post as what is hurtful to one person won’t be to another.
No, that’s not normal. That’s mental abuse and it’s not ok. If you can’t talk out the problem and then be expected to be fine because they don’t want to deal with the problem anymore, it’s not ok.
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Everyone says hurtful things during an argument when they really don’t mean it. The most important thing is u don’t go to bed angry and u work through it by that time. Im not saying its right but it does happen.
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No and get out now before it gets worse. And it will!!! And then could become physical abuse.
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If I had a jar of change for all the things my husband calls me I be rich I let it go out one ear out the other
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No way I had that and realized after a long time it’s never ok
Fighting is not normal.
It’s common, but not normal.
And no.
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It’s not normal to fight period. 10 years and not one fight. You have to know how to communicate. My man has never even raised his voice at me. Do not let anyone convince you that fighting is normal.
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I’m a firm believer that people tell you exactly what they think of you when they’re mad. People don’t get mad and just think of mean, hurtful things to say. They just get brave enough to say them when they’re mad 
No, it’s normal!
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Do you think this is okay? I mean really….
You don’t say hurtful things when mad or ever. Because they can’t be taken back. Stick to the argument at hand.
We can sit here and try to make excuses for him by saying he probably didn’t mean them, he was angry. That doesn’t make it ok or less damaging to you. I’ve always thought that angry people and drunk people tell the truth, they have no filter. So when my ex would call me an effing disgusting piece of $hit, I believed he meant it. And of course, it was ALWAYS my fault he said/did those things. If I wouldn’t have said this, then he wouldn’t have said that, if I wouldn’t have done this, he wouldn’t have done that. Always my fault. Drunk people and angry people speak what is in their hearts and minds without a filter.
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Umm no why is that even a question
People only get away with what you allow. Stop being a victim and give him an ultimatum. If it ever happens again he’s done.
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My husband used to be really bad with this but he learned to stop because of how bad it really is. We all say and do stupid things when mad but at some point you need to grow up and realize hurting the person you love is wrong
Ppl say how they REALLY feel when they’re mad or drunk. It’s never ok.
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No it’s definitely not okay… that stuff will stick with you for a very long time… my ex called me a fat POS while we were together and to this day I still struggle with her telling me that… if someone really loves you they wouldn’t say really hurtful things to you whether you’re fighting or not
My ex husband did and it’s one of the main reasons we got divorced. He never understood why it effected me so. I never got why he did care. 
No it’s not normal and it is damaging to you and your mental health if it happens repeatedly over a long period of time. Get therapy together or leave the relationship.
No. And it’s also not normal to “fight”. To disagree? Yes. To fight? No.
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I call it their crap bag (the nice word for it). Some people have a bottomless “crap” bag that they reach into to pull out the cruelest thing they can to say when their mad. If that doesn’t hurt you enough they reach deeper the next time. UNACCEPTABLE. I’d make him kick rocks on his way out….it’s never going to get better as long as you allow it 
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Disproportionate verbal micro-aggressions as you described are typical in either narcissistic rage, or intermittent explosive disorder, neither are good for you and will escalate
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Normally ppl say what they really feel mad…take it as a sign…
Normal? Probably not, but it is a common practice to say unkind things when you are angry. Some people are able to discuss issues in a mature manner, while other couples scream, argue and say hurtful things to one another. The first is productive, the other is counterproductive and usually achieves nothing.
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They think its ok but it is not. This is one reason my ex husband is an ex. Never let anyone disrespect you no matter their mood
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No. Hitting below the belt is not allowed. And an adult in love with his/her partner knows this.
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Verbal abuse is never ok.
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No. Are they OK after you verbally destroy them? Does he just brush it off?
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My EX used to call me names in an argument. My husband now doesn’t, EVER
Nope, sounds like a narcissist
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Words hurt forever is very true
I was in an abusive marriage for 3 years. He was always hurtful and then became abusive when we fought. We got divorced and I am now remarried and oh my gosh you don’t fight in marriage, you have disagreements. Someone who truly loves you will never be hurtful. I have been with my husband for almost 6 years qnd we just got married the past November. I now know how a marriage is suppose to be. I now know how a man loves q woman. Yes, my daddy loved my momma the same way. But I didn’t realize it until I went through my own stuff. Real men are still out there. Dump him and find one.
It’s Not right but it’s the way it is now.Tell him it’s not ON hay…
Good LUCK
No that’s not normal, it’s abusive.
That is just plain mental abuse…just as bad as physical abuse.