I was wondering if any of you Mommas have experience with this that you could share about. So, it’s been hard for my husband and me to find time to be together. We have a 19-month-old and I’m 17 weeks pregnant with our second. Since he’s been working overtime and I’ve been working from home and watching our toddler full time during COVID, it’s really made both of us tired and has not had the opportunity to spend time with each other. We both love each other very much but would both like quality time to spend together, and it triggers us both at different times that we have not had the opportunity to be together. We are also very limited on people to watch our toddler. It’s starting to really take a toll on us both mentally. Any advice? Thanks in advance
Give your kid a tablet or phone and go on a date in your room. Sometimes we need to be creative. Good luck
When the baby comes, itll get harder finding time together. Try spending together doing housework or playing with the LO. Itll sure pass and remember your kids are only lil once where you and ur hubby will have a lifetime together.
Put the kid to bed early and set up a date night at home for the two of you if getting a sitter is an issue. I dont trust anyone with my kids so I know it gets hard. Like the lady above said, it’s usually “frowned upon” but give the baby the phone or tablet and get yall some mommy daddy time! Having young kids and working different shifts can take a toll on relationships when you guys cant find time for each other so you’ve got to make it happen one way or another
No advice, but if you stay together it will get better. Small kids make everything tougher. The day you and him can lay in bed on a Saturday morning because both kids can wake up themselves and make their own breakfast is a day to look forward to!
Once a month do date night. get a sitter or family/friend to watch LO.
Me and my husband have to wait till kid goes to bed and stay up later then planed but it’s a life saver about a few times a week we will stay up till like 12-1 so that we don’t forget about eachother it can be hard to balance life sometimes so got to find days or time we’re y’all can squeeze in time at one point I worked mornings came home my husband got ready and he worked evenings so we made sure to get days off together
We can always make our relationship the best for us, life or career a successful as we desire, it only take you to put in the right effort and if you feel you need help then look for help. After my wife left me heartbroken. I was lonely, devastated and sad luckily I was directed to a very kind and powerful man Dr Nathan who helped me brought back my wife and now she loves me far more than ever am so happy with life now thank you so much Dr Nathan you can email him on ([email protected] com) or you can also what’sapp him on +2347019014544
Just remember it’s not forever. The baby years will come and go and it’ll get easier.
Not that I would know that yet lol, we’re still in the baby years.
Maam i dont know how old you are but its like that when you try to raise a family.evidently you fond time because you are pregnant
Get that sitter once a month!
Then once a week, have a date at home.
A drink outisde, pizza in bed, he’ll, even doing chores together counts.
Have him sit with you while you soak in the tub, or shower.
Put some music on while doing dishes, dance in the kitchen or living room.
Have him put on those gray sweatpants, you put on his t shirt and some cute undies… you will be surprised how much just touching each other will help you reconnect.
And KISS each other! Not just a chicken peck, but take 5 seconds and REALLY kiss each other!
Your life will for sure only get crazier, I had 3 under 5, so I’ve been there.
But making it a point to reconnect is SO important.
I sat in the bathroom last night with my hubby while he shaved and showered.
Just finding those few minutes to steal away will make a difference.
And DO not feel bad about putting baby in the crib/ playpen to get those few minutes. Keeping your marriage healthy will keep your family healthy.
My hubby and I spend our time together when our 14 month old and almost 3 year old go to bed. Which is usually by 10pm. We make the best of anytime we get. Plus we have baby number 3 due at the end of august.
What Jessica McNaughton said!
Pick a day where you both have a fairly light (enough) load on your plate that you can put your little one to bed early, and have a romantic movie night. Just the 2 of you. I have a 3 year old boy atm and he is with me basically 24/7 so i feel your pain for not having the time alone that you need. I don’t think we’ve ever had a date night or someone to baby sit for the evening/night but MAYBE once or twice in 3 years we somehow managed like 3 hours away together. I know it sucks. And my son co sleeps with us (we’ve tried many many times to get him into his own bed… No luck yet) so it’s truly a struggle when it comes to keeping your relationship alive and happy, I’ve always been jealous of friends whose parents would give them breaks for things like this. But i think we’ve gotten so used to it now that we don’t even stress ourselves out about it. Every night we lay in bed and watch movies together, and just try to do simple things like that whenever the opportunity arises. These years will def go. by fast and before you know it you will have so much time for the just 2 of you that you won’t even know what to do with each other you will probably miss the craziness of raising babies and the feeling of being exhausted from putting all your energy into the little human you created. I know this probably isn’t helping much for what you are looking for… But if you really want some time for the 2 of you the only other way that will happen is with help from someone outside of your marriage. Start looking for a baby sitter that you trust or mom friends who will hold play dates and sleep overs and share turns with each other guarantee your not the only mommy that you know who feels the sane way and is looking for the same help! Not only Will it be good for you but it’s always great for the kids to start learning how to socialize and adjust to spending time without you. Makes it so much easier when they are going into school or day care it won’t be as traumatizing since they will already know that mommy will always come back for them! Like they say “it takes a village to raise a child!” Sounds like it might be time to start finding your village your tribe good luck hope something in here will help!
What my husband and I do is Friday night after the kids go to bed we make a pile of blankets on the floor get snacks That we like and watch a movie together. We are in the same boat. Don’t have a lot of people to watch our kids either. So trying to find time for just us 2 is hard.
My kids are 1 and 2 and let me tell you, nothing entertains them more than a big cardboard box Like, seriously. I gave them a box a few days ago and they’ll pay in for over an hour.
When we realize it has been weeks since we’ve had intimate time, we put our daughter to bed early after a really big meal and we spend time together. We cuddle, watch a movie, get touchy, show each other the funny memes we’ve found, etc.
We have what some might say is a early bedtime for our kids. We do this for a few reasons but one big reason is it gives hubby and I at least an hour together every night. We talk, unwind, and watch something that we couldn’t watch with kids around. We also plan out date nights. Because of Covid we are planning a week without the kids. The kids get to see grandparents and we get much needed recovery and together time.
The only time me and my fiance ever have time together ( just us) is after our son goes to bed, which consists of watching netflix and relaxing together for abit. That seems to be good enough for us, we have a 1.5 year old and I’m 38 weeks pregnant so we cherish just that little time we do have of peace and quiet and time together
That was the same with my bf and I… he works overnights and i was working during the day. When i got off work he would already be gone so our only time together was Saturday evening and Sunday/sunday night. And I have a daughter who’s 3 and a son who’s 11 so it was hard for us to get alone time but we just made due with what we had. Kids went to bed and we had movie nights. That kinda thing. Now with this covid thing we still dont get much time together because he still works. I don’t but he sleeps all day due to working all night… it’s hard but imo I think it’s good for us to have the time away from each other because it makes us appreciate each other more. But besides that we do have my mom to watch my kids once in a while so we take those chances to get outta the house.
Talk to your hubby about what you’re feeling. Maybe you both need sleep and a sex hiatus. Maybe snuggles while going to sleep will cut it. Maybe you set a certain time to get up by. Whatever works for you and your hubby is ok. Relationships change and evolve constantly. As long as you communicate and show each other that you love one another, that’s most important.
You can sleep anytime! Try picking a specific day of the week that way you can both build anticipation.
Just try to stay up past when the toddler goes to bed. You can always stop in the middle if you’re too tired…but you will never regret saying yes, only all the times you said NO!
Baby swap night. One night every other weekend, take turns babysitting with another mom and dad. One week, you keep their baby, next time they keep yours. No cost and both sets of parents get a night to themselves.
Put the baby to bed and spend time together no matter how tired. I’m a mom of 6 working from home and doing the whole school thing with my kids. My husband works doubles everyday in a kitchen on his feet all day leaves around 8am comes home around 1030 pm. I force myself to stay up and wait for him. We go outside and talk for about an hour sometimes we have a drink, or icecream. Just something to keep us connected. Hope you guys figure it out
Your baby will be okay playing her in crib for a little it. Doesn’t matter what time it is. When she’s in bed… before anyone gets up in the morning. There is always 20 minutes to be found, if you really do want to find it. If you’re tired… well, it’s only going to get worse through pregnancy and baby getting born. Otherwise… you’re just going to have to accept that your kids and job take every single waking second.
After the kid’s go to bed that’s our time just for us & I just started asking a few family members that I fully trust or they just message me & ask if they can have our kiddos for the day, night or the entire weekend & I always say yes because we need that time as a couple or even just a break for myself, Our kiddos are 9 & 20 months
I have 4 kids and a step daughter and am 24 weeks pregnant. Welcome to your new life as tired grumpy people with kids. My kids are 9, 8, 5, 3, 1 and the one will be here in September. Never a dull moment. He works and I stay home and are both tires. But a relationship is a commitment. Good and bad
We are raising our grandson who has been sleeping with us since he was 3 days old my husband get upset because we never get any alone time use to his mom and dad would come over on Sunday and visit with him well now there staying with us so no more alone time and my husband is getting upset about it me I’m ok without sex but I’m going through the change of life right now so I do try but my daughter will let our grandson stand at our door and cry and beg for me to let him in drives us crazy. We have never in our 26 years of marriage lived alone with no kids or my mom and that’s what he wants but we have 15 more years with or grandson but I’m trying to get us a weekend away soon
Sleep is more important to some and not to others. There are nights i get no sleep at all. It doesn’t really bother me that much i just go to bed a little early the next night. Time spent with spouse is more important than one night of lost sleep. Have someone watch the child for a couple hours a couple nights a week and pay them.
Put baby down for the night. Call in some take out/delivery, spend some time talking. My boyfriend and I recently ordered a couples puzzle book off of amazon that looks super fun. Do something like that then watch a movie on Netflix!
If you’re talking about sexually spending time together. Do it when you can. Baby is playing peacefully in their room or jumper? Tell him to meet you in the bathroom and have a quickie. There is nothing wrong with sneaking away for a few while baby is SAFELY occupied.
With me and my husband working 2 different shifts, plus house work and kids it has been rough. Thank God we have weekends off together but soon my shift my change to every other weekend soon, new manager and all. We usually find a series, a movie or just TV and sit and cuddle. Sometimes one or both fall asleep If he’s come he sit with or helps me cook. Since your kids are younger, after bedtime is the great time for adult time even if it’s just cuddle and talk.
Once the kids go to bed (8pm) is our time together. Sure, some nights he plays xbox and I read, but for at least 30 mins we lay down, talk, watch a show, pester each other and laugh, have some adult fun… whatever the mood calls for. Every 1-2 months the kids spend the weekend with their grandparents too which is wonderful for us. He’s been working 13 hour days and is tired but we make time.
You need to schedule time. Dont just hope it happens. Put it on the calendar! Even a short walk around the block without children. Ask your neighbors. Has to be someone close who could watch the little ones
It’s a struggle but that isn’t any reason not to try to make time for each other. You were a couple first and you’ll be parents forever. Not valuing your time together takes its toll and makes everything harder. Put the baby to bed and relax with your spouse. Baby number 2 is going to test time management even more. Make your time together a must now.
We have a “twilight hour” every night (give or take, sometimes kids are kids) - everyone has to “go play” in the yard or in the family room (basement) for at least a half hour in the evening before the bedtime hassle. That’s our grownup time to just relax or talk or whatever. And we find ways to connect AND parent at the same time (home depot can be a date, ya know?). It’s tough and the days are long, but the years are short. You’ll be just the two of you again before you know it!
You don’t “find time” it’s not lost. You MAKE time! Put it in the schedule. My fiancé and I chose Tuesday nights for quarantine date nights. The kids, age 14 months, 8, 10, 12 and 16 all know that Tuesday we will be downstairs and to leave us alone. Period.
No one knows your guys work schedule and baby napping schedule. So the only thing i can suggest is spend time at night together once baby is asleep. Turn off phones and TV once the baby passed out and talk, cuddle, shower together etc then. Even if it just an hour at night.
It’s normal…be strong for the main time nothing last forever blessed God for it…appreciate it that way…spend and manage the little time within together…so far he comes back home every day n we see n say welcome be4 he goes to bed…Sunday’s we are both free is our prayer day…we use it sometimes ask God for forgiveness…that’s all…
Every thing is a phase in parenthood. Remember that this will change soon. Before long, they will go to bed earlier than you and dad do. Make use of that time. Cook nice meals, eat by candlelight at home, watch movies together with the lights out. Nap when your 19 mth old naps so you have some energy for later when you and husband can spend time together. It will get better. Ours are now 11&8 and it passed by so fast.
My youngest two is 14 months apart and my husband worked solar so he’ll either be gone five days out of the week or when he had to go out of state he he’ll be gone from 3 to 6 weeks. It was really hard especially mentally and emotionally. But we made time after the kids would go to bed or once in awhile have someone watch our babies. Then later add another baby to the mix lol. We’re super tired but we make time whenever we can especially after our kids go asleep. Even if it’s just laying by each other holding hands or just touching some way or having simple uninterrupted conversation. Remember the little things are important and special.
Take any time during the day u can(on weekends?) And put toddler down for nap and have a rendezvous (get creative and spontaneous) and in the evening after tot is in bed do some relaxation time together, bath/shower, outside stuff like lady said picnic under stars…or snuggling up w snacks and a movie…just simple things like that…
We actually hire a babysitter and he takes 1/2 day of work and we go to a different town… We know having us time is important especially since were still in our 1st year of marriage.
Although our kids are grown…he works days n I work nights…I only see him on weekends… it’s tough but there is a severe shortage of CNAs at work due to covid 19…I’m pulling massive hours…94 last week 108 this week
Pray for each other and invite God into your lives. It is amazing how much he will help you during these busy times
On Friday nights after our 2 year old goes to bed at 8, we do movie night with snacks and drinks. Just getting to sit next to each and talk is nice.
sadly it is a part of being a parent 90% of your time together you will have to learn to make it with the children whether they are asleep playing etc
And you thought having another child would help? After they go to bed or early before they get up. Some time 5 min over coffee can mean a lot.
After your toddler goes to bed spend time together…
Try if possible just sitting down to a meal or taking a quick shower together. It’s hard with kids. Put the baby down to bed early on a Friday night and enjoy a movie. If u wanna have time u will find time
Our time together is after the kids are in bed. The time is what you make it.
Book a babysitter if possible grand parents if possible come over pack a picnic basket jump in car just a hour or two better than nothing.
Having a set, consistent bedtime for the toddler, so that you and husband can spend time together, in my house the babies are usually all sleep by 8:45-9:00Pm, having a schedule helps.
Now while you are home is the perfect time to test some sitters out, have them come while you are working there and get a feel for them.
My youngest two are 15 months apart. My partner and I make a point to talk before bed. Even if it’s 5 minutes. We put that time for us. It’s extremely hard with kids and life being busy.
Do what they use to do in the old days hire a babysitter.
When my boys were young my husband and I had dinner after they went to bed once a week.
Wait for the kids to sleep and if you fall to sleep or him what ever the case might be one wakes the other very seductive i mean hey also when showering many ideas out there
If you have a decent sized tub, take a soak together after lo is asleep. That’s what we do
Got a find somebody to watch that toddler have a date night once a week per Dr. James Dobson psychologist and marriage counselor even if it’s a walk around the block or Mc Donald’s for ice cream
Leave a note 3am worked for me when my children were little. Just saying
A lot of men equate sex to love. Sex doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out process. With small kids around a quicky can make him happy, provide stress relief for you, and give you a connection to your partner.
Focus on loving your kids and appreciate the times you get alone
When the toddler goes to bed?
Shower together … quick easy and get a quickie in there too ! He washes your back and you wash his.
It’s a pretty typical situation that you are in, I dealt with the same thing. I got pregnant with my second when my first was only 6 months. Luckily for you you have a husband who actually WANTS to be with you and care for you and spend time with you, my children’s father cheated on me right beneath my nose our whole 3 year relationship. Being pregnant can also make you tired and not feel up to doing much and you have a young child to take care of I certainly don’t think your husband blames you, he’s feeling pressure with work and trying to provide for his family which is admirable. Although you do not have access to sitters try to make an outing as a family? I really hope you find the answer your looking for & wish you all the love and luck with your family.
Get a sitter,you must have a neighbor or someone you can trust for a few hours.Because otherwise good luck finding time alone
Sounds like you have time with one another your going to have a baby
You are not alone in this. Don’t be another me, me, me, person
Ummm your pregnant…u had time together! Lol
It’s rough. Just seize the moment(s) as you can❤️
Hope you figure something out before you have your 2nd…
Get a boyfriend. Then watch him find time
Just 10 min helps make a date 1 x month sex try once 2xs a week minimum
Care.com. Find a caretaker to stay with child and take a day off of work and hang out!