Sounds like you know the answer
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Sit the kids down
Tell them none of this is their fault but has been overdue for 10 years and that you are leaving their father.
Do not run down their dad but if asked tell the truth. He used your private information for his own personal gain without your permission or knowledge.
Then enjoy the rest of your life.
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These things he did are normally red flags for addiction whether it’s drugs, alcohol or gambling. Something is going on and you need to find out what.
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Could he be gambling?
Or something like that ?
Also he basically stole your identity and signed your name ! Very illegal!
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No trust and lies means no Marriage
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You need to find out what all he did under your name. So you can call it out in the divorce otherwise you’ll be ruined
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He’s living another life somewhere out there. Whether it’s gambling, drug’s, another woman. There’s something. Also, yes he did illegal things and you should be concerned. Protect yourself. He could leave you penniless, unable to retire when the time comes. He’s shown he’s irresponsible in this area, I’m surprised you let him carry on this long. If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for your kids, but do it wisely.
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Some husbands will likely to go back on pleasing you when show them u don’t give a fck anymore and u’r leaving… just when u’r about to leave him, he’ll be crying. I know some women married w a dr and divorced bc their hsband were cheating & use the same line - he’s the one making money to provide la la la… that’s just an excuse for his shtty behavior. Dig & gather more evidence. I advice to not argue with him, there’s no point if he doesnt listen or acknowledge how u feel.
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You said you are not a lawyer. Time to get you one. Put a lock on the credit bureaus so nothing else can be done in your name. Your kids will have understand.
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Was he even a doctor in the first place and taking out all those loans to cover up 
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What does your individual therapist say? If you guys haven’t worked on codependency yet maybe focus on that until you can take a step back from this. You should probably separate your money and retirement accounts from his. If your children are adults they should also separate their property and accounts from him. Focus on what you need to be stable and secure.
I hope you seek out professional help, a good therapist, attorney etc… plus a support group! People on FB may mean well but we don’t know you. I think you actually know some of your own answers… when men hide $$$& or move it around behind your back that’s an indication of much bigger problems… protect yourself financially
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Your kids are young adults now and will survive. I would go to a lawyer and have him find out exactly what your husband has done to you financially, using your social security number to get credit cards and bank accounts and home equity loans etc. I would also file for divorce and have it put in the divorce that he continues to pay for the kids’ college, since “he makes the money around here”. I would get out as soon as you can before he can do anything else to you using your social security number without going to jail for identity theft. It sounds like he’s gotten in trouble somehow. I would be interested in the real reason he stopped being a doctor. Did he get caught doing drugs? What’s going on? He must have needed some heavy duty money to do all that conniving. No, Honey, it just doesn’t look good at all. Get out as soon as you can.
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Yeah what a jerk… looks like you already know what to do, it is just a question of you being strong enough to leave.
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You are his doormat. Grow a pair.
Your children are grown. Get out before you have nothing
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Find out if there is another women he is spending money on. Or he has a drug problem or gambling addiction. Find out how many loans and cards he has on you. Cancel all but two . Get a credit report done and save your self.
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ummmmm you might want to hire a private investigator…….
This might sound Farfetch BUT the red flags 
are there…… it sounds like he has a second household he is financially taken care of.
At the very least he is involved in something other than your household. Whether it’s another woman and child, gambling, somethings not right, but he will never tell you that’s why say hire a private investigator…
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There may be multitude reasons why he would behave as he has which may include a mental health disorder. If he has not been evaluated, I’d suggest he could consider doing so. Of course, that doesn’t excuse his fraudulent behaviors, but the spending and changing jobs may be a sign of something going on with him.
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He committed fraud against you…there isn’t a single justifiable reason for that. Sounds like he’s preparing for something, that doesn’t necessarily include you or your kids together.
You might not want to hear this, but you need to start protecting yourself. You need to establish how much damage he has done in your name and you need to get a freaking lawyer that can help you. Ignoring his “lies” about this is going to seriously bite you in the ass. If I were in your position, I would be making efforts to completely separate from him financially and start transferring everything into your name. Anything he has done in your name…you’re liable for, because you know about it and haven’t done anything to correct it. Girl it’s time to start getting your affairs in order. Ask your parents for help if you need it…but you need to do something.
As for your husband…if you can sleep next to a man that is hiding a great deal of things from you, and trust what you have together…I think you might need to get to the bottom of why you think that’s even possible. Drastic changes in one’s behaviors, patterns and lifestyle is something to take seriously.
Sit the kids down for a chat, they are older and they will likely understand. Then leave with what’s left of your sanity. Make sure all accounts under your name are closed out (if he made them)
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You’re kids are young adults it’s time to do what you need to for yourself before he takes you down with him.
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He’s hiding something! You two should discuss everything together before any financial decisions are made! Make yourself happy…good luck!
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Him being a good dad is no reason to stay. He’s lying constantly. Leave.
Time to start squirreling your own money away when you can I would say. Sounds like he’s got something going on that doesn’t include you. No sense not protecting yourself and the kids. He could be building a new life and leave you with nothing.
The private investigator sounds good too.
Good luck.
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He’s hiding something…
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Credit Card for one he legally can’t open cards in your name . It sounds like he has a gambling addiction . Talk to a lawyer tell him what’ you said here 
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Yes definitely illegal . Not to be rude , but he sounds like a sociopath… I’m sure there are more than 3 lies as well. You never catch every lie… I’m sorry you are going through this 
If you have a joint bank account take out half or whatever and open a new one at a new bank in you’re name only
And get an attorney tell them the situation that he opened stuff in you’re name and you didn’t give permission and try to get you’re name removed ( I had to do this with my ex ) and get out well you can it will just get a lot worse . I was in my relationship 16 years and things just got worse he pawned everything we owned
He stopped paying rent when I gave him the money to pay rent
He stopped paying all the bills I gave him the money to pay all the bills and he opened a loan on both of our names thank Goodness I was able to remove my name he pawned my kids stuff when they were little he sold my kids beds and was cheating on me I looked at his phone one day and saw the messages and that’s the day I left.
Good Luck 
and do what’s right for you
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Wake up lady!!! Your life is a mess , I would have left years ago with my credit in good shape, and yes it is illegal what he did, get a good lawyer now and!! And move on with what’s left of it, you are teaching your kids this is all okay to do to your family, take some blame on this, you know this is so wrong he probably has a family some where else too
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You could literally charge him for forging your name for the credit cards. My man doesn’t know my social security number and I don’t know his and that’s how it should be… Wtf
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Whether or not his actions were illegal depends on the state, but taking out credit cards in your name is likely illegal.
I suspect he might have a gambling problem. This would explain his anger in discussing this.
The first thing you need to do is pull your credit reports from TransUnion, Experian, and the other one. You might find more lies, so be emotionally ready. You need to take over the finances and both of you need to sit down and make a budget.
But here’s the thing… if he did all these things for legitimate reasons, he probably would’ve told you. The secrecy and subsequent anger leads me to think gambling might be involved.
If both of you are unhappy, remaining married for the kids isn’t healthy for them. They know you’re unhappy and you two are their model of a relationship. And you absolutely, positively must protect your credit, financial well-being, and retirement savings. One option is to divorce legally but continue living together, but if you’re both unhappy, this isn’t a real solution.
I recommend meeting with a family attorney to discuss your situation. The initial consultation is often free. You need to know your rights and liabilities. Also seek individual counseling for yourself and check your credit reports at least monthly, if not weekly. You must take charge here.
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Your not breaking up a family…Your children are grown! Your breaking up the idea of a family. Life is to short. Move on & be happy. Kids are smart & probably would be happier if y’all was happy apart then being miserable together 
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Red flags are waving
The man doesn’t respect YOU or your marriage. Look up the legal definition of marriage, the fact that you BOTH are financially responsible for the actions of either party. Your disrespectful business partner is destroying your joint venture and will cause the business to fail. Protect yourself or else your house will crumble around you. Good luck.
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he took out a home equity loans, so just who did he use to sign your name??? That alone , would make me leave him, family or no family, Then add the CC’s in your name, You really need to notify the bank where he took out the home equity loans & inform them, your signature is not on those loans, And same with the CC’s, Or you will be responsible for them, My ex, but at the time we were married, we took out a loan, then a few yrs later, when I left , he refinanced it, Not my signature on that loan, They tried going after me for the monies, I told them, they better look at the original loan papers & look at the signature on the refinanced papers & the signatures there was not mine, so it is a forgery & the loan officer was aware that whomever did it wasn’t’ me, So unless they remove me name from this problem, Which technically really wasn’t’ my problem anymore. I will go after them full force Leave your husband & get these other matters taken care of …NOW
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Sounds like he’s cheating and/or has a drug and/or gambling problem. And he’s either a narcissist or a pathological liar. I’d start getting your own personal finances in order, including putting a freeze/passcode on your credit, and get all your ducks in a row, so you’ll be ready to go on your own, when it finally happens. Payoff your cards with any money you can get your hands on, and put away as much as you can, you’ll need it
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Things are not going to get better. If you want to live like that then it is on you, but is it worth it? And yes, opening credit cards in your name is fraudulent.
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It will get worse and where will you be???
Get out now
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Your husband has an addiction of some sort. Bc I have 5 kids and my husband is not a dr and he doesn’t do shit like that. And we don’t come from money or get help. So there is no way that money was used just to run a household unless you were spending way above your means
ohhhh wowwww… he is hiding something and yea that is illegal for him to use your ss number! He is definitely hiding something, anytime people get mad and defensive especially a man they are hiding something!
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I would have filed divorce once I found out he was opening cards or anything else in my name. And reported and pressed charges. For all you know he could have done it to one or even all three of the kids too.
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Right that money is getting spent on some habit or on someone else and your getting financially abused in the process I’m sorry to be blunt. Your kids are grown now so they will rather see you happy and single rather than unhappy and with their dad, they’re not little anymore and will know how to handle that situation if you leave. He is gas lighting you when you question him and projecting which is classic behaviour of a narcissist specially one that has something to hide. He is a walking red flag and I will go further and say he put HIS kids at risk when letting your health insurance lapse… still think he’s a good dad?. Please either leave or get the l9cks changed while he’s out or things will worsen for you
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Divorce isn’t the worse case, if you 2 cant co parent and be cordial then it’s all bad.
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I’d have thrown his behind in jail over the credit. Smh That’s a crime. He could be hiding a whole other family with that kinda money.
He’s a sinking ship and he’s going to drown you.
Stop using “we have kids” as an excuse for being treated like trash and disrespected. They will be fine. They aren’t China Dolls. All you do by staying is show them, “You don’t deserve to be in a happy marriage so stay and be miserable.” Is that really what you want for them? Smh
Sweetheart….decide your own destiny. Leave him! Yes what he did is illegal, and if he has money issues, guaranteed so do you. You will get drug down. I know. Trust me!!
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The question I ask myself anymore is… “What would I tell my daughter if someone was treating my her this way”, then I make my decision.
So,
“WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR DAUGHTER IF A MAN WAS DOING THIS TO HER?”…
Ur children are adults. U wouldn’t be breaking up their family. It’s time to take care of yourself 
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Drugs or gambling! Get out now or hire a PI!
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Time for PTA, protect your assets. Consult a lawyer today. File for legal separation. Remove all money you have in joint accounts into your name only. Notify all companies where loans or credit cards were obtained through fraud in your name to correct their records. Your going to get stuck holding the whole bag if you don’t act swiftly.
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He quit his job for less pay because he is about to leave you. He’s making moves ahead of time so he doesn’t have to pay you
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Make sure you are protected financially. It sounds like he has been hiding money.
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I’d be contacting the credit card companies and canceling the cards that are in your name and also inform them you didn’t authorize any of the transactions let alone a card in your name!! Next contact the bank about the home equity line!! I’d leave him and ask for alimony, too!!
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What did he do with the money ?
A mistress?
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I understand that in some states for example in Florida, it is not illegal for your spouse to sign in your name, make decisions in your name or using you ss# or bank account info. I was a witness on a divorce where the wife bankrupt the husband while he didn’t suspected she was opening and spending lots of credit cards without making payments to them. She also bought cars on his name and leased an apartment. He end up being financially responsable for everything that was under his name cu he couldn’t proof she didn’t have his consent.
On other hand, Most of the time I have seen this kind of behavior end up being because an addiction or a “side” life or planning for a divorce. Either way if I were you I would try to gather lots of proof of whatever his into or he’s doing without your consent while he doesn’t suspect it before divorcing him …good luck
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Empty the accounts that are in your name 
hire a PI and get started on a divorce. The kids are in college so they will be ok! Too much going on here in private on his end and not looking good. Looks like he’s preparing for something
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Lock your ssi number consult lawyer
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I Get Paid 0ver $ 110 per hour w0rking from h0me. I never thought l’d be able to d0 it but my colleague makes over $ 13880 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me t0 try. The p0ssibility with this is limitless.
SEE MORE HERE…>> https://LifeStyles35.pages.dev
Divorce isn’t the end of the world for kids, especially when they’re pretty much grown. You’ll be happier with someone who actually cares about you - meanwhile, care enough about yourself to walk away. It’s ok to do that. Life is short and while that isn’t a reason to go crazy, it’s certainly a reason to not subject yourself to abject misery.
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First of all you need to be documenting everything because evidently he is and yes stealing your identity and open things without your permission even if you are married is not right you better watch your back who knows what else he’s done that you haven’t even found out about yet
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There could be multiple things going on, and I’d bet money he’s having an affair, but it also sounds like he may have something like a gambling addiction. You have to protect yourself.
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Keep fooling with him and you won’t even be able to bury him if he dies.
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All I can say is I’m sorry that you’re living like this. Obtain a lawyer and find out all that has been done by his fraudulent ways and get your money back if possible and make sure he pays child support. He’s a terrible person to be doing this to his family. Don’t worry about his feelings doing it either
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Contact a lawyer, what he did is illegal, and he probably is (was) cheating, how else could he get credit in your name, and what the financial institutions did is also illegal. He is liable to leave you broke, start suing these people, take the money and run…what your kids are seeing is not a healthy relationship…better off to get out and make yourself happy…
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Seek legal counsel in your area, your kids will be happy that you’re happy. They don’t want to watch you stay just for them. They’re also all young adults who don’t have to rely on you as heavily as they used to. This won’t be the end of the world, but the beginning of your road to happiness.
CAll the social security office and have them flag you ss number. Let them know what is going on. My husband ass would be in jail if he pulled something like that. In my state that is identity theft.
Could he have a gambling problem?
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I Get Paid 0ver $ 110 per hour w0rking from h0me. I never thought l’d be able to d0 it but my colleague makes over $ 13662 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me t0 try. The p0ssibility with this is limitless.
SEE MORE HERE…>> https://LifeStyles41.pages.dev
What is he doing with the money, that would be the first question, gambling? Drinking? Got a mistress? Another family? You need to find where the money has gone,
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Lady you need to hire a forensic accountant and a lawyer immediately. This guy is going to wipe you out. Get both your credit reports. Say nothing to him! Get to a lawyer today. He has been lying and hiding something for years. No, he isn’t a good dad to do this to his family. Get going before you end up with nothing but debt.
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Get him to pay ALL the credit he took out in ur name… repay the loans on the house… then make sure from now on ur finances are totally separate…
And yes it’s totally illegal for him to have taken credit cards and loans out in ur name. Its fraud.
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No offense mama but I would hire an attorney and divorce his ass… all your kids are going to college, girl it’s your year to take back what is yours.
People LIE to those they fo not tespect, yes it was illegal, I am shocked you have not closed the doir on that msn before this
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Are u even sure he was even a doctor?
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l get paid over $157 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18347 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Possible drug addiction…along with narcissism. My ex had the same signs.
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All the scammers came out on this one.If people made that much from working at home,EVERYONE WOULD WORK FROM HOME.
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Girl…next thing is he cashes in on your life insurance policy and you won’t be here!
Leave him!
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him using your ss number to ger credit cards n stuff is illegal he dont pay it it will ruin ur credit n i agree get out before its to late
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How can you believe anything this man says using your name to obtain credit cards etc is illegal it’s fraud and you will be responsible for these debts they are in your name you need to talk to a lawyer right away how do you know what else hes done using your name you could end up in jail wake up and do something now get it sorted while you are still with him he could deny everything better to get your voice heard first I wouldn’t tell him what you are going to do just do it don’t give him the chance to get you into more debt
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what i would do is go talk to a lawyer about all these things u mentioned and also ask him to put all credit cards in your maddan name , so there is one way u can keep the credit cards from him, and open another bank account only in your name - a bank account where your husband doesn’t know- also like i said talk to a family lawyer about all the issues u have about your marriage , get yourself a private lock box that only u and with a key can open - so your husband can’t see whats inside - i know also this ones sounds really hard to do , but it would for your sake and the kids sakes in the long run - if he keeps liing to u about financial things get out and don’t look back!
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Sounds like he’s leading a double life. Makes you wonder if he’s got a whole other life he’s paying for, that you aren’t a part of. I’d be hiring a forensic accountant and a good lawyer, cause if he’s lying about this stuff, he’s surely lying about alot more.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this… this is my personal thought process as I’ve thought about what I would do if my current relationship doesn’t work out even though both of us have stated we would never leave each other I still planned the worst possible scenario… my kids are young and my fiancé isn’t their father but has been raising them like they’re his … they’re real dads have nothing to do with them (their choice not ours) so me being scared of losing someone so great and a great father for my kids if it came down to it I’d stay until my kids were all adults so like 18 19 then I would go live my life cause as they’re all old enough living their own lives they wouldn’t need me to be the glue I wouldn’t have to stick it out it’d be okay to … so my advice is it’s okay to leave … your kids will understand you can be happy and love your life … you no longer have to stay and force yourself to be present … when adults kids no longer have to live in the house they can visit you and him separately …
Maybe drug addiction? And he got fired from being a doctor not quit. Who takes a 50% paycut when your struggling financially? This would be a nightmare. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
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First off, you better pull your credit report and find out what’s on it. Also put a freeze on your credit so that no one is able to open a new line of credit in your name. It’s free to do and free to undo. Second, contact a lawyer.
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I’m sure your children already know of the conflict you and your husband are having. It may well be that they would be happier if you both separated, rather than living in a home with tension every day.
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I’d hire a private investigator. Theres a lot to unpack there. Go talk to a lawyer as well.
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I would consult with an attorney and begin working on my exit plan.
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He has committed fraud basically. I wouldn’t trust him ever again.
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FIREWALL on aisle 6 !!! you need to protect yourself or you’ll be paying for his dishonesty the rest of your life or filing bankruptcy
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Something isn’t adding up with his stories. Either y’all are living well beyond your means, he is leading a double life, or he has an addiction that he has hidden from you. I’m a nurse and I know doctors and nurses who can hide addictions (like pain pills) very well. But opening things in your name without your consent is illegal. I’d get a good lawyer and a private investigator like some people have mentioned to have evidence to take to court with you.
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- he has a double life or
- he has some sort of addiction
- freeze your credit and obtain a full report to see what’s on it
- get a lawyer/PI asap and start planning your divorce
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Sounds like he’s living a double life.
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gambling, drugs, women, alcohol, someone is blackmailing him, child support???
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He sounds like an utter dick. Leave his disrespectful ass.
sounds like he is leading a double life and sounds like he got out of being a doctor cuz something was coming down the tubes. you need to get rid of him
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Grow a backbone and LEAVE.
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Document this all if you can. Does he gamble? Did he willingly leave his job? Talk to the credit bureau and flag your name so that they contact you if someone tries to open credit card or loans in your name.
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If he thinks it’s cool to open accounts on you close them. If you want. Open him some
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I’d be willing to bet he’s been putting money aside secretly for years so you can’t touch it. He has been deceiving you the whole time. If anyone is responsible for breaking the marriage up, it’s him being deceitful. You were a stay at home mom while he stole your identity and lied about everything. Your kids are almost adults. They’ll be fine. Show them an example of how to be strong! You got this!!
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Sounds like the life of someone with a drug issue that he’s hiding behind closed doors and using alternatives to enable his problem.
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