So my husband doesn’t think I’m interested in him anymore because we haven’t done anything in like two weeks. But I am. I’ve just been busy with working two jobs and helping him with our three kids. he says there’s nothing he can do to change his mind, and he’ll just deal with it. What should I do?
Uh sounds like a little blame shifting, honestly.
Tell him you two need to set aside time for your relationship, dinner, movie on the couch. But just time for you two, maybe on Wednesdays the kids go to bed early and you two eat a special meal alone. Or get a babysitter and go out
Do at home dates, explain to him your schedule and then plan dates around it. When you say you haven’t done anything do you mean intercourse? If so tell him there is more to relationships than that.
That last statement sounds like he has some toxic behavior. That’s gross.
Sounds like shifting blame and gas lighting comes next!
Tell him to grow up.
How long have you been married?
Plan a date and surprise him with a night of just you guys (if possible for you) or put the kids down for bed early one night and do a date night at home. Show some extra affection. Random kisses make his favorite food. Pamper him a little bit. Sounds like hes getting depressed and isolating himself a little. Show him you still love him and care about him
This came across as a red flag for gaslighting and building a foundation for blaming you for when he cheats. Honestly let him go. If a man loves you 2 weeks without sex should not make him want to leave but discuss reconnecting with each other to improve the relationship not jump to conclusions you don’t want him. Take care of you. You’re worth more than being told 2 weeks without intercourse means you don’t love me.
Sounds like he is considering cheating, yet not understanding why y’all haven’t done it. Start getting in frequent quickies
Something in the morning before you’re exhausted?
You two need to sit down and talk about it. Tell him to hear you, to really hear you, tell him to put himself in your shoes and then he can tell you about how he feels, put yourself in his shoes. Then try to fix it. Make a schedule for the kids to give you two some time alone in the bedroom, or even at night try to make sure they go to bed early so you and your husband can spend some quality time together. Text him loving things and how much you appreciate him. Etc. Saving your relationship is not impossible, it just takes change.
If he’s saying there’s nothing you can do to change his mind then there’s not 🤷🏻 to me it honestly sounds as if he is the one who has lost interest and that’s why there’s no hope in a shift of thought but he’s putting the blame on you.
Still try a dinner/movie night or just something you both like to do. If nothing changes then try counseling if you can find a time to fit it in your schedule and can afford it
It seems like his act of love is physical touch. He’s doing it kind of wrong but he’s communicating he’s not getting feelings of love from you. I mean when you’re relaxing with him but not in the mood do you cuddle? Hold hands? Take a bath together if it’s an option? What’s your act of love? Does he do that stuff? I think y’all need to sit down and learn a bit about each other
I agree with most of the other comments. He seems to be shifting the blame. What has he done to help you? Anything at all? Has he even tried to get intimate? Has he even tried to just sit with you for 5 minutes and just hug? Why is it your job to initiate everything? Is he “helping” with is kids? And by helping, I mean taking care of them like he should. Are you both doing equal amounts of work at home or are you doing it all? Men don’t realize that it takes a toll to work a full time job, or two jobs, and then come home and take care of EVERYTHING. If I were you I would talk to him. Don’t give in and just give him sex because he’s whining like a baby. Show him you care, yes, but let him show you he cares as well.
He sounds selfish…
I think he is trying to make you feel bad for not showing him any attention. Work and 3 kids are hard work!!! Relationships can get pushed back when life is hectic. If he thinks that then he should be planning a night away to rekindle things not making you feel bad
WTH? When did all of you become psychologists?!
My libido is definitely higher than DHs, and DH has experienced what you’re experiencing. I’ve expressed feeling like my DH doesn’t want me anymore, to my DH. And I’ve NEVER ONCE considered cheating on my husband. Y’all aren’t helping at all, and are probably making this poor lady feel even more uncomfortable with the whole situation.
Life is hard. Kids are stressful. Sometimes 2 people fall out of sync. Sit down with him, talk, plan date nights. Hell… plan your “encounters” if necessary. It’s important for both of you to feel comfortable with the intimacy in your relationship. Make your relationship your priority. It’s the foundation of your home.
Ask him what’s REALLY going on with him & start marriage counseling.
Lord. Can men not have feelings without being accused of being a cheater or an abuser? Not all men are narcissists or cheaters.
Lady, get a sitter for the night and plan a special night for just the 2 of you. Nothing expensive or extravagant. Maybe a night out for a meal and a night out doing something you both enjoy. Maybe a little cuddling and intamacy later after you’ve enjoyed each other’s company.
There’s plenty you can do to show him you still love him, regardless of what he said. It’s possible he just feels left out.
Hes a human and has needs that need to be met imo … him talking about what hes not receiving isnt a stepping stone to cheating tho
He probably could have worded it better but what man is fluent in their wording 100% of the time
I say make the time to make him feel wanted/special plan ahead surprise him something so he knows he was heard
Sounds like he could help out with everything more and not be so selfish … Time to grow up
He seems a bit mellow dramatic, but let’s not forget men have insecurities too. He may really feel as if youre no longer interested if youre not being affectionate with him as well. I would definitely sit down and have a talk with him. Explain to him that youre very tired and ask him for more help around the house so that you can have more energy to have sex. Try putting yourself in his position, how would you feel if you were wanting to love on him only to be brushed off? It is discouraging and would make someone feel as if their SO wasn’t interested in them. I see a lot of women on here saying it’s gaslighting…it kind of makes me think they don’t know what gaslighting is. Gaslighting is intentionally doing something and then lying to the victim to make them question their sanity. This is not gaslighting at all. Please dont pay mind to those stating it’s gaslighting. Men get in their feelings too
Suck his dick, sensually and caress all of him. Make a habit of it. Taking your time on him will give him all he needs.
Try having days nights and scheduled sex nights too. Its easy to get wrapped up in life with kids and work and taking care of the house but make time for eachother even if you have to schedule it
Even if u don’t feel like being physically intimate with him do it anyways…you may b tired or stressed but do it anyways…that might b how he feels loved is being physical…people have different love languages
Don’t just have sex. Set aside a special night and make it romantic. Forget all your stress and remind yourself why you married him. Never stop dating the man you marry. Be intimate in more ways than one
You are both adults, so act like it and sit down and have an adult conversation about it.
Sounds like yall just need to talk through it. Our partners tend to fall to the side with work and kids but they really shouldn’t. They should be the priority, when you and your partner feel loved and appreciated, the help and intimacy comes more naturally. But that’s perfect world and we know we don’t live in that world. Relationships are hard, but if yall choose to make each other a priority it will get better. Communication is key & understanding each person has the right to feel however they feel. Take the steps needed on your end & he should to, to make things better. Good luck.
So fuck him good already and shut up!
If you’re working two jobs while being a mother and doing your responsibities as a wife and partner, why would he even think that way? It’s not easy to be working two jobs & also being there for the kids & him so maybe you should discuss this with him. If he’s the one who refuses to get into a heart to heart conversation, that would mean he is being selfish.
He’s just trying to shame you into sex which is trash. Been through it before and it’s either lazy sex where I’m on bottom half asleep or no sex until it happens naturally
Has he made any effort to make time for the two of you? Otherwise I feel it’s unfair for the blame to be entirely shifted on to you.
Guilt tripping boot his ass! Thats not on! Been through this, extremely stressful! He could have approached this very differently with a bit of understanding and compassion! Does he even attempt to help you so your not so rushed? Sit down with and explain whats going on does he work? If so he should understand.
I’m sorry but me and my husband have been married for 15 years and have 3 kids and we own a physically demanding business which we both work long hours everyday unless its raining and if I’m being honest he is being selfish! Its only been 2 weeks! Maybe he can take control if you are too tired. Me and my husband do that alot. If one is too tired to perform romantically then the other one will pick up the slack but 2 weeks is nothing! What if you just gave birth and had to wait 6 weeks? What would he do then? I’m sorry but this just seems to me that he is being selfish and not taking your feelings into consideration!
Make time for both.Pray Proverbs in the Bible.
Men like to be baby’d they just don’t like to admit it & and that is there way of saying they want attention and affection.
Sound like my drama king husband he simply just wants more attention from you
And sounds childish that he said you couldn’t do anything to change his mind
2 jobs 3 children and helping around the house
I’d be grateful just to work one job
I’m a stay at home mom
Who wishes I had a job but i do alot with the kids
home school and our home duties
You know, some of you women, Lord help you… He’s communicating his feelings which is a major plus, because most men don’t express themselves (Any wonder with some of these women?nope) I’ve felt like this with my husband… I expressed how it felt, and now we’re all good… Yes life is hard, and stressful and tiring, but it’s in especially those times we need our other half… It’s when we stop turning to each other for comfort, etc, that the problems begin… And I know it’s hard, it can sometimes feel you’re living “passed” each other, going in different directions… I’ve been so so tired most days, but when the kids are asleep, my husband and I make a point of spending that alone time together, cuddling, watching a movie, talking, etc… We believe in staying connected… We’ve been together for almost 18 years, married almost 13 years, and people say it’s like we are fresh in love, still on honeymoon, lol… Because we work to keep that love alive…
Sex is not the answer to a relationship, tell him to grow up your working hard raising kids keeping a house we get tired glad my hubby ain’t like that can go without and knows I love him and have not lost interest just shit gets in the way xx
Okay firstly sex doesn’t = Love how old is he!? An adult would surely understand how busy you’ve been, maybe he should stop feeling pathetically sorry for himself and realise how much you do for his family! Acting like a brat isn’t going to make you want to be any more intimate and you definately shouldn’t just do it to please him, thats not right in any shape or form. Intimacy is important yes but he shouldn’t be shaming or guilting you into it. Sit down have a conversation about everything, he seriously needs to grow up, and stop thinking about just himself and d*ck.