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QUESTION:
"She has acquaintances and socializes well, but doesn't have anyone who asks her to hang out on the weekends or really ever. She is a darling, super sweet and extremely kind, (to a fault almost....she has a history of getting taken advantage of in certain situations, giving things to people, spending her money on others, etc...) The lack of social interaction outside of sports and school doesn't seem to bother her, and there are no red flags at home or school as far as her keeping to herself or isolating. She thrives in all aspects. I guess more than anything I just feel bad for her. Anyone is else in the same situation with their daughter? Any advice to help me feel like this is normal or will be ok? Thanks in advance"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"My daughter is the same way for the most part. She has one friend and that’s about it. They don’t hang out really, but are great friends. She’s happy, sweet as can be, but she’s just a loner. Kids don’t really go to friends houses anymore, I don’t think."
"She’ll be okay. I didn’t have friends either. I was a loner, so was my hubby & we are comfortable not having friends. It’s really not a train smash"
"Are there children that she has expressed an interest to hang out with? If so, has she asked them to hang out? Maybe she could ask them instead of waiting to be asked."
"It’s hard to know. If she seems content…maybe gently find a way to ask her… I really didn’t care to socialize with many. Didn’t like busy…or gossipy giggly stuff. It just was my nature to have a very few friends…and didn’t really care to do outside social things… Some are very content with not being a socialite."
"I was this way, but I enjoyed it and craved my peace. Im still this way. Not many friends, maybe 3 real friends that I talk to. You could try a play date and see if she enjoys it, but if it doesn’t bother her that may just be how she is mama. My 12 year old plays basketball and has friends at school but she doesn’t hangout, she enjoys being alone."
"I wouldn’t worry about her right now. From what you said it seems she’s involved in sports so she participating in something with others. You said she has acquaintances and socializes well,I’m no sure why you’re concerned. Just because she’s not going over to her friends or doing sleepovers etc doesn’t mean she has a problem. Just let her be herself…she’ll know when she wants to change that stuff. I know a young lady that was the same way at that age…nothing wrong with her waiting until she’s comfortable. Nobody wants to be forced to “like” people or be made to feel guilty for not hanging out etc like others. Let her just be a happy little 10 year old."
"Do you coordinate play dates, birthday parties and connections with other moms & kids?"
"Not to be a Debbie downer, but I’ve came to realize with my daughter and her “friends” the ones who seems sweet and nice are usually not. But your daughter will be fine. I would suggest a club of some sort 4h girl scouts…"
"If she’s only 10 she’ll be starting secondary school soon. She’ll be going from a class of 30 to a year group of at least 150 kids. She may find friends that suit her more and have similar interests"
"This has been me my entire life. Still bothers me deep down."
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