Make a schedule. Game time for how long YOU want. Tv time for how long YOU want, reading time for how long YOU want etc.
My son went thru this. We turned the wifi off. He knew bad behavior meant no game. He changed his ways pretty quick. You need to get a grasp now before he gets older and it gets worse.
Get him out just you and him, go to lunch and have a talk. See what’s going on with him? It’s hard, but try to get him to talk. Also therapy is a great tool. My son completely turned around. Went from breaking anything he could and putting holes in my walls at 13. To an amazing 19 year old young man who works hard and is saving for a car.
LMAO I can’t believe this is an actual question. This is what gamers do. This is not an “addiction”. It’s a frustration because something happened that shouldn’t have. What you need to do as a parent is explain that he’s scaring the other kids and he has to keep it down and if he doesn’t, TAKE HIS SHIT AWAY. Holy shit yall need advice like this!!!
Wait til he’s asleep and put a lock on the cord plug in or juvy
Okay so I’m not a mother, but I am a child who plays games, and I’m just gonna say ripping it away from him, cutting the cord, destroying his console, calling the cops on him, things like this, are literally just going to make him resent you, I obviously don’t know him but it sounds like video games is an outlet for him, and a hobby, gently sit him down when he’s already calm, no yelling, no threatening, just have a gentle talk with him, and tell him what you’re having issues with, treat him like an adult.
My mom is 5ft, my brother 6ft. My momma still knocked my brother out, size don’t matter:woman_shrugging:
Sounds like your afraid of ypur son. And thats really sad
Take him to his dad’s and leave him there.
Throw it under your car tires and run it over, put vehicle in reverse and run it over again…repeat process.
It’s an addiction and that is what needs to be addressed. He needs help like any other addiction.
Leave him alone and let him live his life
If I were you, when he leaves, have someone take his door off and take the power cord away. When he can be more respectful and curb his temper he can have the power cord back. Maybe let him knownif he threatens you or the other children he can and will be arrested and put through the juvenile system. His happiness doesn’t come before safety. Best of luck mama!
Just turn off the WiFi and tell him it’s not working. That’s what I do to my nearly 6 years old granddaughter.
Get rid of the games all together and get him into counseling or anger management ASAP. If he can’t be calm and be respectful and regulate his attitude then he doesn’t need video games. Take his door away and show him who’s in charge.
You need to get a grip on the situation now before he gets any older & bigger. He knows you’re scared of him & won’t do anything so he’s taking full advantage of the situation. It’s not easy nor is it simple but you take the game away, do it while he’s at school but try & get it out of the house if that’s an option, if not hide it but it needs to be taken away & not given back until he earns it back. You need to show him YOU are the parent NOT him, his father should be helping you with this situation too. If your son gets physically violent you have 1 option & 1 option only & that’s to call the cops…you CAN NOT let him pull that crap in your home with you or ANYONE in the home. Good luck you’re going to need
Take that shit away for a week make him do chores to earn it back… that’s just crazy
You did the right thing by sending him to his Dad’s. Tough love will show him that others feel the same as you and help him to respect you even more as he gets older!
Your son is only 13 if you don’t take matters into your hand you may end up loosing him and your family. I have 3 boys and there all taller than me, they no i dont play that game with them, my eldest is 23. They no better to raise their voice at me I dont care how big or tall you are giants fall I will start from the bottom and make my way to the top . They have manners and respect for me, and my 7 year old daughter I only have to look at her and she knows what that mean. You can’t give kids that kind of power and if you do they will run all over you.
An iron skillet will knock his butt to your size…
You did what you had to do, been there and done that. I took his controllers, I turned the electric off on the breaker box to his room and I talked to him about it, nothing worked so he to went to live with his father. Problem solved for me and the rest of us in the house
Give him to his dad or mom up and take it from him til you see some positive results
It sounds like he is struggling with some serious issues, depression, the divorce, bullying at school could be any of those or a combination but he needs to seriously see someone and once determined there is no underlying issue I don’t give a damn how big he is you are his mom and kids only do what that they are allowed to do and what they know they can get away with so take away what is causing the problems and if there is still a problem then whoop his tail and show his but he ain’t grown, grown folks pay bills and show respect.
As someone who WAS this kid growing up, so many of you are giving shitty and borderline abusive advice that is just bad for both mom and son…
He has little to no emotional regulation, work on that instead of trying to fix the symptom (anger and lashing out). It’s probably due to feeling like he has no control over his life and changes, so the lack of control in a game not going right is going to set him off.
Highly recommend getting him into group anger management with kids his age who can better discuss it themselves than people who don’t understand. Please don’t listen to half of the abusive shit suggested in the comments, your son will just grow to resent you, trust me.
Take them away close the door … LOL
Find other things to keep his mind off of the video games. Have a talk with him and let him know that you can see the video games upset him, Tell him he needs to learn to shut it off, When hes getting upset. Kids online can be MEAN and VERY aggresive. He could be learning this behavior from others online. Ive been there with one of my sons. We had a nice long talk about why the games or others make him angry… Now hes learnt to turn it off when things get out of hand. Keep a eye on the games he is playing involve yourself and ask questions about the games. You might need to make some adjustments inregards to the games hes playing:)
Sounds like u need dr Phil
Your an adult and his mother take it away doesnt matter how big he is and when or if he raises his hands to you call the cops a few days in juvenile might set him right
My mom was small woman but she didn’t allow us kids to talk back and that’s what’s wrong with kids these days. You allowed him probably because of the divorce to get away with things and now its beyond you. Put you’re foot down and start taking the gaming device away and make him earn it with respecting you and the rest of the family.
Taking away the game system and seeking family counseling is a good start. It’s going to be insanely rough at first but with persistence and a better set up schedule while also getting to the root of the issue will help drastically. Your son needs to understand that behavior is not acceptable, there are consequences for his behavior or actions, and he needs a better outlet.
Charge him for internet and electric…chores to earn time. Or take it out of his room. If your son at whatever size steps to you that’s a problem. There maybe a respect problem as well. My 10 year old is entering that stage with raising his voice and apparently he knows everything and we are working on that but at 10 9 and 7 we don’t have video games and limited screen time.
It sounds like your child needs to do something to EARN screen time. Good luck. It’s definitely a challenge.
Lol best be glad he’s yours lol cuz I’d grab a ball bat and whip his big ass lol the problem is you let him know he scares you turn that shit around and scare him take that ball bat and go into his room and go bat shit crazy when he tells you to shut up and scree off I’m talking next level crazy bitch here lol
I’m 4’11, and I don’t care how big my kids get , they all scared of me.
Easy I have three kids 16 a 12 year old and they always in the games I make sure they take a break I put in the chores that work with me and in between the evenings in the mornings I put them to do something that right now they’re not going to school and I’m a single mom I make sure I’m in top of them constantly that’s the best thing to do being a single mom I’m a mom of four children you need to be on top of them talk to them set them goals easy
Take the damn game period. Idc
How big my kid
Brought into this
Gonna fear… I’d be knocking his ass upside
Head with a Broom for
The disrespect. Let him
Take the game away and stop being afraid to be the parent lock or away sale or break whatever you have to do
Throw the game away. Also get counseling
cut off the wifi fpr a few days and that it.if flips show the door.if that all he doing 24\7 get him to yur dr and get in for some counselling.
Oh boy, he had way too much control over you, let his dad deal with him. Tell him when he comes over for a visit, he’s not allowed to bring his games, otherwise he’s not welcome.
Simple, when he’s at school get rid of it, until he can respect you
While he’s at dad’s take all electronics out of his room. All of them. And when he gets back everyone puts their phones in a basket and everyone gets together. You earn your phone. You earn your screen time. You clean. You play with your siblings. You read. In a world becoming so disconnected, disengaged, and not spent together we make our kids spend time together for free time. You want to play games earn it. Adults too. Phones away. Be present.
Your the parent, take the dame games away from him, that be the day when I would be afraid of my kids,I’m 5’ 2 and my son is 5’ 10 and for one thing, he would never talk to me like that
My son is 6"2 265 lbs & he knows better then to scream or get in my face. His biggest problem is he knows ur scared of him & he can get away with anything show him ur the boss. Change the password to your internet & take his games from him. Better get a handle on him now before he ends up in jail
Take the door off the wall, take his gaming system while he’s away so you don’t have a struggle, or turn off the WiFi, sometimes that’s easier. If he hits you, then call the cops and let him spend a few days at juvenile hall. It’s hard and sad if you have to call the cops. But you need to have boundaries, and he needs to know there’s repercussions if he crosses them.
If he has it in his head that Mom fears him, then he is just going to use that to his advantage and he seems like he’s been handling you all. Also knowing that Dad has given up on him, then he too has given up on everything and everyone, probably reasons for the defiance behaviors.
I wish one of my kids would …u can’t make ur kid do something cause of his size …haha once again I wish one of mine would … whip his mfin ass till he gets some act right …I’ll be damned if my other kids or I will be terrorized or anything in my house where I pay bills
When he takes a shower go fart on his pillow
Oh hell no. I’d snatch that shit out his room. Your the parent, not him. If I tell my son (almost 15) to stop or calm it down…he does. I wont play that, I could care less how much bigger he is then me
Video games are a privilege 8f he can’t act right you don’t get to use it. Your house your rules. Personally at that point 9f just even telling me no that would have been gone right off the bat. But it sounds like he is a very angry and sad kiddo. He may need some extra help to learn coping and ahow to handle his feelings. I wish you all the best. Remember we’re not here to be their friend we’re here to make sure they get raised properly.
You should call your pediatrician to get you a referral to a psychiatrist. My daughter is 13 and went thru an insane phase. This pandemic has fucked up that generation more than any other.
I’d try to learn cognitive behavioral therapy and dilectal behavior therapy yourself and then get your son with a therapist who specializes with those things (CBT and DBT) . It saved me when I was going thru something about 13 years ago, it helps you think differently to not rage over nothing that was controllable. It’s really helping my daughter as well
Wow sounds like you all need counseling and parenting classes asap. So many red flags from the kids and adults. Get outside help
Your main problem is that he knows his size scares you and he is using that to get his own way. All you are doing is teaching him that it doesn’t matter how he treats people they will always fear him so do as he wants. Get his father to come over and take his games away from him and when he gets angry about it, stand up to him. Do not involve the stepfather as he has feck all to do with him and may be part of his anger problem.
I mean my brother is 19 years old and he does the screaming & yelling but I think it’s funny but then again he works so
You are going to need to unplug the device and take it away . He knows that you do not tell him anything so when you do he is lashing out . He may legit have an addiction so don’t be afraid to get him counseling and there needs to be consistent parenting that both you and his dad set ground rules
Why are al these questions on a nail page? Wtf
2 maybe 3 things
- Its an addiction so it needs to be treated.
- Take 2 ratchet straps and catch his ass asleep and show him that you are that alpha at the house.
- Put a small pad lock on all the power cords in his room make him Work for the keys…
- Seek professional help for the real problem anger is a symptom.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My 13 year old is addicted to video games: What can I do?
Be the parent and not the friend … I dare my kids to yell at me. Well My 1 year old just started too and I put him in his room to chill out. We ain’t havin that shit in my house. This is why ass whoopins need to happen so they don’t turn out like this.
Get rid of all the games while he isn’t there,explain to him why you got rid of them, try to find something else that peaks his interest,working around the house for an allowance,wood carving, painting model cars ect
Take the game system away. Take everything in his room away. He can earn stuff back by good behavior. If need be, do it when he is at his dad’s. Do not let him go to extra curricular activities. Make him do extra chores. If u don’t nip this in the butt now, he’s only going to get worse.
Get rid of all gaming consoles in the House
Maybe at this point you need some Dr. Phil
No matter how big he is, Never let him know you even have that as a worry. Secondly, he is under age living in your house… SIMPLY Take the game away, make him earn that thing back.
Make him earn his screen time. That’s what I did with my son when he was doing thR
It’s a 0hase they go through. Believe me, I have a 13 year old daughter that kinda does the same thing. If it gets out of hand, I wait until she’s done with a mission and have a chat with her. I let her know that it’s hurtful to hear such rage. If it continues, I limit her on playing and ro focus on something else.
Sounds like your problems started long before he turned 13 and was 6’ tall.
Gaming addiction is a very real thing, you need to seek advice on this addiction and coping strategies and fast. I hope you can over come this and your son gets better. I’ve had to limit access to our games console and how long the internet is on and it works as I have boundaries. I had to change my internet provider to get proper control of the time limits too but in the end I have two much happier children and I’m happier too.
Maybe he needs to live with his dad for awhile. But I will say my son was every bit as tall and big as your son and I’m only 5ft tall. He never once used his size to defy me. We argued and had the typical issues as he was growing up. There were times when he simply needed his father more and that was ok.
You are his mother right? Take them and he starts screaming start breaking them one by one! Be in control of your kid not your kid control you that’s what is wrong with this world. People let their kids control them!!
Take it away from the child. The crying will eventually stop. Make the child earn game time.
If you don’t want to take them when he is awake wait until he is asleep or not home and when he sees it missing tell him why. Explain he is addicted and needs some time away. Have him make a list of other things he could do with his time and put some of the ideas to use. They push boundaries but push back, don’t let him dictate the rules. I’ve had to deal with it as well.
All I know is that I know you’re not Hispanic. We would have already taught them how to respect. I’d smack that 6ft kid into a wall if he told me to “screw off” and I’m 5’1”. . It may be too late to show him to respect you. I’d definitely sell all his crap immediately. My boys are gamers and I indulge their gaming. Their set ups are expensive and I don’t even mind. My boys love and respect me. ONE “screw off” comment and it would ALL be gone!!
Burn the games and console
Take the system away while he isn’t home. He can earn it back by being respectful and learning how to act right
Just close thé wifi…it’s over than…
When my sons start this the solution was simple. I gathered the game system, all the games and sold it all. You’re the parent. Put your foot down. Enroll him in at risk teen programs, contact the police department to see if they have a scared straight program, whatever you need to do to show him he is not in charge. Run your household.
Make him earn game time?
Get him busy with other activities?
Or worse case Smash the damn console with a bat? He’ll be mad but guess what, he’ll get over it.
I have two kids (25/20) never had an issue because I kept them busy. They had to choose one activity in the summer and one in the winter. They weren’t allowed to just sit on their butts all day. Remember - YOU are the parent, your rules. Tough love mama
Be a parent…
I would take it all away. Let them earn it back. when they earn time, give it fully charged. When the battery runs out so does playtime. If they argue minus 15 mins. keep a chart ( make it with them)something they can see at all times
Get rid of the video games
First of all you did the right thing taking him away for the moment. You took the step to protect your other children and yourself. You did not wait for anyone to get hurt first before you did anything. I just hope that while he is with his dad, he is also doing something to stop his addiction and not enabling him. talk to them first ask if he wants to go back in your house and be firm that there will be stricter rules to be followed. My son is only 12 but he is already bigger and heavier than me but he knows it well that he cannot hurt me or do anything to damage any of our properties because i will surely be ready to fight him. i have cctvs around our house to show that if i ever hurt him, it is only for self defense if he does anything to hurt me first and i wont be afraidcto press charges againts him. i made that very clear to him since day one he showed aggression towards me. I have known he will become bigger and stronger than me one day and i prepared since then.
My 14 yo is bigger than me and let me tell you what, I be damned if he will disrespect me in ANY type of way. He plays his video games too, I would jerk every one of em out of the house if he even THOUGHT of behaving that way. He knows, no matter how big he gets, im still his mama and will smack him dead in his mouth for disrespect. And, before anyone says, oh, smacking him in the mouth, blah, blah, blah, I have one of the most respectful, well behaved, straight a student I have ever seen. Honey, he is controlling YOU! Take back the reigns!
This is easy.
Go in his room
Grab his system
Throw it on the floor
Stomp on said system
Proceed to the trash can 🤷
Big bon fire in the back yard.bye bye video games.
Being a teenager is a weird time for sure but if he’s getting disrespectful like that then those games go in the trash. While he’s not home, you put his room on lockdown and kick his a$$ back to the stone age. No tv, no games station, no phone. Tell him respectfully that he needs time off the electronics and you have certain expectations in your household. I.e. the bad attitude has to go and other responsibilities he may have need to be fulfilled before he even thinks of gaming for the day.
Remove all things video related from his room and from the house. If he wants them back he has to earn them. He is old enough to do yardwork, do his own laundry and do chores around the house. IF he ever earns time to play video games he has to play in the living room/family room and for limited time. If he starts to get angry then you take the system away again. I don’t care if he’s 6ft tall & 250 pounds, you are his mother and if he raises his hand to you then you call the police. Ignoring him or choosing to be afraid of him is just setting him up for failure and gives him the upper hand. If he slams his door you take the door off the hinges and he has to earn the right to get it back. All he is entitled to is a roof over his head and meals. If he gets too nasty then you remove everything from his room except his mattress.
He may need to be with his father so you can protect your other children.
Simple change the internet password mostly all kids love to play games online and If you feel like your son is threatening you Should definitely get his father involved it takes two to tango and he needs to get in on what’s going on with this it’s not OK
Take him to see a therapist
Get him a psych evaluation
Enlist Stepdad for support. Enlist Dad for support. Give him a window of time to play games. If he doesn’t adhere to that OR if he acts out, TAKE them in front of him. No sneaky. Have Sdad back you up physically if need be. When he can act within the house comfort limits for a couple of days, try again. 3 retries would be my limit. I’d donate them to a shelter.
Take the damn game!! Completely!! No “act right & you’ll earn it back”. Its gone! Tell him you’re not gonna have anything in your house that makes him/them act like that.
Your house your rules! Stay calm when he acts out…then don’t “ground” him …ground his video games for a week. Explain the consequences ahead of time…like when he comes home from his dad’s. Acts out…video games grounded. Then FOLLOW THROUGH! He is playing you like a fiddle mama! I used to do this with my son’s golf clubs…and he was 16 and 17 and definitely bigger than me. If you are truly afraid he will hurt you…then get professional counseling for him and the whole family.
Id smash the system or sell it.
Take the game system. If he screams and yells or threatens you, call the police.
Take away the video games!!
My son is 13 and is 6 foot and 142 pounds and I wish he would!!! I’m old school ain’t nothing wrong with a good butt whooping 🤷
I raised my two older boys myself and one is over 6 feet and I had similar issues but I controlled it by taking his game away. I took it for 8 months once when he was 15. He yelled he cried he threatened to run away. Oh well! I stood firm. He got over it and eventually figured it out. Just rip the band aid off now before he gets older and bigger. It’s your house and technically your game too bad if he doesn’t like it.
13 is a rough age. Hormones are your number one enemy at that age. Video games give surges of testosterone at times too I’m fairly sure.
Change the wifi password and he has to earn it back with rules, come on mama u got this
Sounds like your problem is that he knows that you wont do anything about it so he doesnt care. START SHOWING HIM WHOS BOSS AND TAKE THAT SHIT AWAY FROM HIM!
My son is the same way. He gets so many hrs for WiFi. Its when he is playing with friends online I have the problem so when times up the inter at gets pulled by password changing for WiFi if he does not get off when told.