My 3-year-old refuses to potty train: Advice?

Your child is still pretty young. Wait until they want to do it. Both of my youngest did pretty well with the no pressure approach. They took a while but once they decided it was time it was a breeze. 3 is very young and you have not failed!

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When I was potty training my daughter, she didn’t want to go either. Hated it. I tried everything and it got to a point she knew when to go and what to do but just wouldn’t. She would go hide behind a chair then laugh when she went because she knew it frustrated me. Until one day I threw all the diapers away. Put underwear on her and I told her. Now you can’t go in your undies, your a big kid now. So when you gotta go, you tell me. And she finally went in the potty. She still doesn’t like to go number 2 alot. She is afraid to poop for some reason and wants to hold it. But she still goes if she absolutely has too. She’s completely potty trained now. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down. Some people will say they aren’t ready, but you have to push sometimes especially if they are showing signs that they can do it.

My youngest wasn’t potty trained until she was almost 4 because she out right refused when she first turned 3. Maybe try talking to your pediatrician maybe he/she can give you some recommendations.

My daughter went through this. I took the diaper away and she started using the toilet. Had the same issue with popping. She got so bad we almost had to bring her to the hospital twice. Took the pullup away for afternoon quiet time and she goes on the toilet everytime now. We have encountered issues with her having alot of pee accidents lately but currently waiting for results back incase she has an infection. Try taking the diaper away completely during the day. You may experience messes but it could be short lived. Good luck. Kids can be so stubborn sometimes

It will just happen on its own,some children can get upset when doing no.2s as they get frightened something leaving their body that’s supposed to,we know that it’s natural but they don’t.Early developers have to have something they haven’t quite got the hang of.Possubly try knickers/pants or pull ups an encourage to take down (obvs) when they need the loo.Try not to go insane lol try to stay patient they all learn at their own pace in the end.Good luck :kissing_heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart:

My youngest is going to be 4 in October and just started maybe a month ago. She’s good when she’s awake, most of the time… she’s a deep sleeper and still very much needs a pull up when she sleeps. It’s tough but every child is different. My first was potty trained very young, day and night and very few accidents.

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We are at age 5 and working on no 2. Don’t worry, every kiddo is different.

I went through the same thing with my 3 yr old son. He was more than ready. Nite diapers were dry every morning. This is what worked for me. I had Dad go into the bathroom with him and actually pee WITH
him. It worked! No diapers after that one time and no accidents!

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My daughter was the same way… i put underwear on her and told her if she had an accident she had to help clean it. She had one accident, helped clean the floor and never did it again. She has been in underwear ever since. Every kid is different, hang in there Mama it gets better


My kid peed for a year and a half on the toilet and REFUSED to poop on it! It was hell! I tried everything as well! She was afraid of the water splashes when her pooh hit the toilet! LOL I tried making her wash her poopy underwear, letting her pick them out then having to throw them away, rewards, punishments, EVERYTHING! It was not fun cleaning up toddler poop from random places all over the house. She was finally poop trained by 4. What a :poop: show, LITERALLY!

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Talk to your child’s pediatrician about your concerns and see what they suggest. Some kiddos just potty train sooneror later than others.

No underpants, no diapers. Let them run free around the house. Every kid is different. My first son was fully trained by 2. My second not til he was 3. My third is 4 in Jan and is almost there. My daughter is 2 and refuses lol. They’re all different. Give it time

Took mine shopping for big girl/ big boy underwear!. Batman, superman or princesses. Then I said if we go on the potty we can wear these!

When I potty trained mine I would go pee with them play a game while I was going I had them on their chair and say let go peewhen I went I got excited and said did you hear it then clap and say ok now it’s your turn to go
Lol sounds weird but it worked for me then every time I had to go I’d take them in to go to and when they went get all excited and clap

My daughter is almost 5 & STILL struggling with poop. Pee hasn’t been an issue for over a year but for so e reason poop is. I get it, being at your wits end. We do a gown with nothing under at home & she goes without a problem but there are days that the minute ANYTHING covers her butt & bam a huge turd in her pants. I have no suggestions, I have tried it all & I am tired of cleaning up poop.

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My daughter is just now potty training at 6, believe me it’s been a struggle and we’ve tried everything under the sun. She just up and decided she wanted to wear undies and I told her she had to earn them by going potty in the toilet and not them and it’s been great. All of my kids were different ages when they chose to do it, but it has to be their choice, not yours

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Maybe take a break. Don’t push it so much right now. Give it more time and try again. Eventually he will start some kids just aren’t ready. The more you push the harder he’s going to push back.

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I found out that bribing works wonderfully

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Plan a whole week where you have no obligations to leave home, remove all diapers from the house, put him in underpants and wait him out😃


My way was extremely unconventional but I have an autistic child and he was very difficult to train so I put the potty on the corner in the living room and if he drank 1/4-1/2 a cup of anything I sat him on it and wouldn’t let him move until he peed and did this on repeat for about 2-3 wks approx and he got the idea. I kept other people away from the house while training him like that tho so there was no embarrassment for him. Maybe try that. He was very hard to train but has he no accidents since, he was also 4 atm. But also your child may not be ready yet too, look up cues for when a child
Is ready I can’t remember them but there’s a few.

Don’t push them. It will happen on their own time. You’ll make them scared to if you show frustration. My son wasn’t fully potty trained until 3 1/2. Some take longer


In daycare and preschool, we set a timer for 30 minutes and every 30 minutes they sit on the toilet for 2-3 minutes. If they have an accident it’s 30 minutes after the accident. You can do this at home too, could keep a kids potty in the living room, have your kiddo wear only underwear or be naked for 3-4 days must stay consistent even if he goes a few times in a row or it will not work.

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I trained mine by making a poster with his or hers help give them a sicker on the poster everytime he or she goes to stick on it award after so many there choice

I am the mom of two boys. I started my oldest at age 2, he potty trained in two weeks. I started my youngest at age 2, took a year to get him trained. With my oldest, I was pregnant with my youngest son every time I want to the bathroom, he did. He also wore cloth diapers (this was in 1972). My youngest wore Pampers and Mommy was working. He just said he wasn’t ready. Daddy finally got him trained.

Throw out the diapers they won’t like the mess unfortunately you won’t either but you’ll be surprised how fast they will go to potty. Also put a few Cheerios or fruit loops in the potty and try to sink them good luck.

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I did the whole no pants thing. Where I would just let my then 2 yr old be around bare bottom. Yes had a few accidents. But aware that the pee and poo was coming. Also keep a potty in the room. So living room play room wherever. That way they make it. :blush: took about 3 days to get it down. Lots of laundry. But boom. No more diapers​:+1: Good luck


My son was like this too. We tried for a bit and then gave it a rest. Tried again a few months later. We started by setting a timer and just having him sit on the potty even if just for 15 seconds every 45 minutes. The first few times he hated it. He was scared of it. But each time he did he got a sticker. At the end of the week he would receive a new car (his favorite) just for trying. Which we repeatedly told him so he had a goal. It only took a week after that .

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I know it’s not your way but maybe let him ware that stinky till he says something???

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  1. Just stop buying diapers. Period.
    Yes you’ll do more laundry. But you have control of what is purchased. Don’t buy them.
  2. Potty watch. Sounds stupid. I rolled my eyes when it was suggested for my son. Dumbest 10 bucks I ever spent. It worked within the first week. Lol

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When my granddaughter was 3 she was still not potty trained and I ask her if she was grown up or a baby? She said I am a grown up ! I said well grown ups don’t wear diapers, only babies do, so she said , I don’t want to wear diapers anymore! So she didn’t


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Put them in actual underwear.
Fingers crossed when they soil the underwear they won’t like it. Praise them for being a “Big” boy or girl. Tell them there favorite cartoon characters are all big and potty trained. Worth a shot.

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Maybe don’t potty train at 3. That’s probably too old

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Not ready. Let it go for now.

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She’s not ready. Don’t push. Start by putting the potty in the restroom with u. When u go, she goes. Eventually she will want to be a big girl just like Mommy.

My middle would scream bloody murder at the very mention of the potty at three years old. She’d tell me she was going to bring diapers to school and change herself when I reminded her that she needed to use the potty at preschool the next year :joy: then one day she asked for the potty and went in it, and that was it. She was just shy of turning four.

I’m going through the exact same thing! God bless you and good luck!

Youre child isnt ready to potty train. Starting them before they are ready prolongs the process.

This is what the child can control, just let it go until they are ready.

Let it go, it’ll happen when it happens

Just take your child potty every single time you go potty even if you don’t have to go​:woman_shrugging:t2::hugs:

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My oldest daughter didn’t potty train til 4, literally 3 weeks before pre-k started. I don’t know how it happened but it just did. The first few days of just underwear she had like one maybe two accidents and was fine from then on.

Try real cotton training pants so that the pp runs down their legs maybe they won’t like that

A trick I learned when I worked for WIC was some moms would put the undies on then the diaper. Because the feeling of wet undies is way worse than a diaper!

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If it’s a boy they tend to take longer then girls, I got my trained at 3-1/2 it takes longer sometimes with some kids

Stop stressing it I did the same exact thing trying to have mine potty trained by 3 she said she loved her diapers so finally I gave it up and figured she will do it on her own time and she did within a couple weeks I caught her off using the potty by herself and she’s now fully potty trained it’ll happen when they are ready

Toss the diapers OUT & only use pullups for sleep!! Don’t “ask” if they have to potty… Tell them “it’s time” to go potty. Set a timer 15 min after they drink & take them. Stay consistent with taking them & reward accordingly. Let them pick out their own underwear at the store & make a huge fuss about not getting them dirty. If they go poop or potty, then they help clean the mess in the sink.

If it is a boy, they need a male figure to show them the correct way. Good luck!

Some children have bladder control issues. Doctor told me it could be due to delayed development of the muscle that controls the release of urine…can’t remember what it’s called😊 …one way is to have scheduled potty breaks(which I’m sure you do) and to have little reaction to the accidents. She will get there mama❤️

Don’t beat yourself up, it just takes time. I would try to encourage her to come to the bathroom with you when you go and talk about it too. But definitely 100% skip the pull ups and go straight to undies, pull ups just prolong the process.

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my son wasn’t potty trained till almost 4 :woman_shrugging:t2: prek did it foe me cause he refused for me. also stop buying diapers.

Okay…Step one. Get monster spray. It can be any spray, make a new label and spray for monsters
Step two…Make a game of it with prizes. Get cheerios and put in the potty so they can “shoot and aim” and when they get a bullseye give them a sticker or lollipop or w.e


Take diapers and pull ups away that’s what I did and it worked with all 4 of my kids

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Hide the diapers and tell them you do not have more , get the training underwear and do not give up , they will do it eventually.

Mama I’ve been there before. My daughter was 2.5 when she nailed the potty chair, so I thought I’m switching her to the actual potty, I ran into regression. Then we did good. She wanted to be a big girl and go but sometimes she just wouldn’t. She kept wanting pull ups, then I figured if she could express how much she wanted them and what they were, she doesn’t need them anymore. And I found out I’m 8 weeks pregnant and I can’t do 2 babies in diapers, so we went all in and she’s only had 2 accidents in the past 2 weeks

I don’t have any advice but just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone. My daughter did the same thing when she was 3. She actually did well with it for a while and then all of a sudden she stopped using the potty and that lasted 2-3 months. I would just give it time momma and try to stop stressing…I know that’s hard. Maybe try turning it into a game? Go “monster hunting” with a flashlight or something and let him see there isn’t a monster before he goes. Just hang in there momma… you got this! :purple_heart:


One day they’ll tell you they’re ready. Many moms just know their child won’t be potty trained before kindergarten, but they are.

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Let them do it on their own time. My 4 year old just was potty trained a couple of months ago. He knew all of what to do but was just to stubborn and once it clicked it was done. Now he’s going into kindergarten this Sept and he isn’t potty trained through the night yet. But that will come in time.


My son was the same way every milestone was hit early except this one! He finally woke up and was showing some actual interest so we went straight to the store I let him pick out two packs of any undies he wanted and told him I was going to return the undies if he doesn’t use the potty while he wears them. He’s been potty trained since! Good luck momma!

What I did with my daughter when she was younger was introduced her to the potty at 17.5 months old and she used the potty twice, but I let her decide when she was ready on her second birthday she potty trained herself and ended up potty trained

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Just stop. That’s my advice. They are not ready. Just because they got other milestones really does not mean they will hit this early or “on time”. You’re losing a battle and all it will do is make you more and more angry and disappointed in them and them become more stressed and scared


If they won’t sit because they are “scared of monsters” try getting a special spray bottle and fill it with water and either a little food coloring or glitter and have them spray it in the toilet water first. Let them know this is special goodbye monsters spray.


My sons is almost 4 and not potty trained. I feel no frustration or embarrassment about this. He will go when he is ready. All children are different.


Stop buying diapers and pull ups.

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I know for fact you have to potty train yourself before you can potty train the child. Be very consistent, day and night both. Your 3 year old will catch on. I know that any kind of discipline will not work. Encouragement only is a must.
Good luck to you mom.


3 is still so little… give it time! Keep encouraging it but don’t push them to to point of becoming silly about it. Celebrate each victory like it’s the biggest success ever!

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Try not changing him. Let him stay in wet and/or poopy underwear. DO NOT use diapers.

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Is child a boy if so put cheerios in toilet have him aim for them they like the game

No pull ups. Just underwear. My daughter was the same and was trained in a weekend after wetting and pooping herself.


For my son I had to let him be completely naked for about 2 days. We definitely had accidents which I had him clean up the mess… with help of course. Eventually he realized he had to go to the toilet. He also had a jelly bean reward system 1 for pee and 2 for poop. I also let him pick pit his own underwear so he wanted to wear them and didnt want to mess them up. To be honest tho potty training is extremely hard! So dont cut your self short you are definitely going to win this battle with time!! Take a deep breath and know that you got this!!

My son turned 4 in June and it wasn’t til a week or two before his birthday that he was regularly using the potty for both 1 & 2.
I have been in your spot and felt the same way. One day it just kind of clicks. I think what did it for my son was his friend came over and went on the potty and was excited and telling him about it and he wanted to be like them.
Also we did a lot of no bottoms when at home too so he couldn’t just go in the diaper.

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The diapers will get smaller and uncomfortable he will be forced to wear undies, my son was 4yrs old till he was ready and today his excited to use to toilet with his seat ontop, they normally afraid of the sound when u flush , but it does get better just like you I was out of ideas ,concerned worried, wondering when he will be ready, but also baby can tell that ur anxious too so take it easy and let it be he has to get outta those diapers

Bribery? Worked for me!!!

Switch completely to underwear. No pull ups no diapers. Only allow them to have drinks on a schedule. Take them potty anytime you go potty, after each meal, before each nap time or bedtime. Try running water when they are sitting on the potty. Treats for going and making a big deal about them being a big kid. Good luck

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Switch to underwear, make them clean up accidents


My son was like this. We stopped with diapers and made sure to tell him to go every so often. Until he did it by himself


Underwear only and set timer for every hour and take them to the bathroom. Make them clean up accidents every time and be sure to put waterproof pads under them at nighttime, no pull-ups then either… good luck


Take them potty every half hour dont ask if they have to just say ok potty time let’s go potty and it may take days but dont give up just go potty evey half hour or hour .

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First of all stop buying diapers. By them some underwear are panties that have designs on them. Something they like. Put them in them threw the day… Make sure you set a timer like every 30mins so they know it’s time to go. It may be some accidents but dont get upset. Praise them when they do potty. This diapers have to go. There so used to peeing in them. At night I set an alarm clock the same every night an woke mine up. Carried them to the bathroom. All 3 of my kids were potty trained by 1.5 including the night. You just have to have patience. It took me about a week for the day an about 2 for the night. Good luck


my youngest was same then she started at a better day care and just trained herself with support of the day care teachers within 3 days

tht was day tym only

So I had one of those and may be the worst advice, but it worked out for us. Got him over the issue by just sitting on the toilet while he watched something on our phone, stayed until something happened, cheered, and sticker. We did this at the same times every day, some days swapping in books to read, and then moved to only books, then it was all just routine for him to have the urge to go at those times.

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Maybe child is not ready. Development is more than age or intelligence. Try building it up
And not making it about you.

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To begin to get a good out come, experts advise to wait until they child is at least for a successful outcome. Remember that each child is different so it’s best not to compare to other child. If your child is expressing that she likes diaper than mostly you’ll have a good outcome. With this being said, no more diapers during the day and only put one on for night times. Pull-up will also works. Always remember that you’re not failing! It takes a lot of patience, don’t be so hard on yourself. Good luck :blush:

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I realize it’s an expensive thing called diapers however if they aren’t ready they aren’t ready.


My middle kiddo took a little longer to potty train. Then took a little longer to go on the toilet. It also took a while to learn proper wiping and to wash hands. Be patient, be consistent, if it takes 6 months of routine potty breaks, if it takes a year, keep trying. It helped my kiddo to reassure her that the toilet is safe and the bidet wouldn’t spray her unless she turned the knob. I showed her many many times when I’d go to the bathroom and what steps to do. I stood in the doorway or sat next to her on the side of the tub till she felt safe enough to go by herself. She still doesn’t like going in public restrooms or unfamiliar bathrooms but we’re working on it.


For my boys, I put Cheerios and fruit loops in the toilet and made it into a fun game! But funny story, when one of my sons was a teenager, not realizing he was in the bathroom, I walked in on him stretching while he was taking a piss :joy: man did he jump. I told him now I know why there’s always piss on the toilet seat! You gotta hold that F*****g thing dude!!!:joy::joy:

I sat on the side of the bathtub put him on the toilet and we sang songs after a while they forgot why they were there and did their business we had fun did different voices and laughed after a while we had no problem it was mommy or daddies time with them

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Have you tried treats when they try? Some kind of incentive might help.