My 4-month-old cries when his dad holds him: Advice?

My four-month-old son screams when his das holds him, he literally goes red in the face and cries so much he makes no sound I have to take him off his father, and he instantly stops I know babies prefer their mother as its instinct, but my son laughs and smiles for everyone but his father he’s just not interested at all looking for advice or answers as to what I can do to help my son?

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Probably feels your husband’s tension.

more skin to skin with dad maybe?

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I know he cries for it but have dad do skin to skin contact after bath it will be a bit of a scream fest the first couple times but after 3 or 4 he wont cry anymore my now toddler was the same way

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It could be the soap or cologne hes using

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We have had this happen, it just takes patience and understanding. Your little one will get there if the dad is persistent.

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As he have a beard or a hat both my girls were terrified of beards and hats anybody that had one could not even get near them

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Maybe have him wear one of your shirts that smell like you when hes holding him?

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It will pass…my daughter didn’t like her dad for the 1st year

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Lay a shirt you just wore on his chest first. And maybe skip any cologne

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Have a cuddle all three of you until he’s comfortable enough to start interacting with Dad more. Poor Dad, he must be heartbroken but it’s just what some babies do so reassure him not to take it personally. You’re obviously just a super Mummy and baby doesn’t want to leave you x

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Is dad uneasy with babies? He may feel dad’s nervous energy. My 2 youngest screamed like crazy when their sperm donor held them. They sensed his narcissism. To this day they can’t stand to even see his face.

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I agree with having him have one of your shirts that you have worn without washing while he holds baby. Skin to skin. Also have the father get his scent on something like a sheet that the baby uses in bed. Will help baby get more comfortable with daddy’s scent. My babies both were in NICU and that’s what they did with our scent when we couldn’t be there.

Try skin to skin or have dad wear one of your worn shirts.

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Still currently dealing with this my son is 14 months old. When he was a baby he would wake up screaming if he even heard his voice on the phone. He’s still not super comfortable with him and if anyone else is around he will go to anyone but him. I’d like to say it gets easier but it hasn’t for us. Which he doesn’t see his dad every day either.

Does dad wear glasses, a hat, have beard??? .sometimes babies have cried with my husband but if he takes glasses off or maybe his hat they will stop??? Other than that just try to keep introducing dad and giving them time together as much as possible …some men work out and arent as close to baby as mom is, may just need more bonding time…

It will pass! All of my kids were like this as babies. Even with other people. They just loved their mama!

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My granddaughter would do the same. Unfortunately before she was born the parents would have terrible fights. I guess since they hear and feel what mom feels baby reacts after being born to what it remembers. I’m not saying this is your situation but it was for us. Gdaugher is 13 now and she loves her daddy dearly. P.s. dad is a great dad but terrible husband material right Jessica N Carlos Segarra?

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My son cried around anyone that wasn’t me for close to the first year! My other babies were not like that. He’s fine now. Lol good luck mom!

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Stop taking him off dad. They need to learn

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Have him hang out with the both of you together where he can see and sense the both of you together. You would then get up and leave the room while he stays with dad. Keep doing that until he gets use to it… he will know you are returning. Try leaving him with dad alone without your presence… with you there he has an option to choose… and of course he would choose mama.

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I have never in my life heard of babies that young being scared of their own parent! That to me is a red flag!!!

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My 2 month old is like this and I just left them together they need to get use to one another my bf would get frustrated because all she would do is cry and he couldn’t soothe her when I was home she cried I would take her pass her off to him and just be right beside him so my daughter could see me and eventually she got over it now she doesn’t mean mugg him anymore or scream bloody murder

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My son was like this when he was younger now almost 8 months. He loves all women but hated his dad. He couldn’t do anything unless I was right there if dad was around. There were a few times baby had no choice and now is easier for dad to handle but still prefers me or his sisters. He tried doing baths feeding a nap times with dad on the couch. Being the one to do something new first like pool or a new toy. It will get easier just keep working on their relationship.

Our kids did this too. I think it was because it was me that was ALWAYS getting up to deal with their needs. He worked, so it landed on me to do the rest.
Try to spend more time together if you can. You can also try the shirt thing, and the comments that I read had great recommendations as well.
It will pass.

It will pass! Mine would go back and forth doing that to me and him

That baby knows something

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Its probably because the dad works and you spend more time with him. My husband works 50-60 hours a week but he talks to the baby (due in 3 months). Also, when my husband is gonna be home from work, he’s gonna spend a couple of hours with the baby while I get some work done or have alone time. Maybe have the dad do something with the baby every evening or day that he’s home. It can be something as little as story time but something so that he gets used to the dad.

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does dad have a beard

My little guy was like that for the first few months. We would set aside time every night to have daddy hold him (crying or not) or I would rock him til he was almost asleep then transfer him to daddy. He’s 13 months now and is obsessed with daddy! It’ll pass either on its own or have daddy help with small things and grow to bigger things!

Maybe try holding baby in dads tshirt that smells like him and baby will associate comfort and smell

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I would say this has a lot to do with how the person holding them is feeling. Is the father nervous? Or unsure how to handle babies? Or is the mother anxious about handing baby over? Babies can feel energy.

As much as I hate to say… Your hubby may be hurting the child when you’re not around… Noone ever wants to admit or believe it… But don’t ask for advise if you ain’t willing to hear it all.

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there’s only one thing this man could have… He caught…the ugly :woman_shrugging:t4:

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My kid went on and off with me and her daddy

If your baby loves baths I would have dad get in the bath with him and do skin to skin and cuddle him while in the bath.

He must have scared him or hurt him

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Babies feel when someone is weirded out by them and it makes them uncomfortable.
Dad has to be somewhat confident, you have to teach him without making him feel worse than he already does.
When you’re handling the baby say outloud what you’re doing, then let dad have a turn.
I think story time is a great time for you three to bond together, worked for us!

Maybe dad is just nervous and the baby senses it. Everyone saying he must have hurt the baby give ur heads a shake that’s disgusting

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Never had to deal with this. My kids father would be so hurt. Before everyone judges nobody knows their situation the father could work a lot and doesn’t get a lot of one on one with the baby and taking the baby everytime they cry isn’t going to help either the baby needs to learn that’s daddy.

My son did that with his dad then he got older , and now everytime his dad walks in the room he runs right for him

Don’t listen to these people that keep telling you that he hurt your baby! They are crazy to think that

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Omg this sounds like my one week old son lol my son has a fit when his dad holds him or tries to cuddle him. But to be fair he’s just used to mama since I’m the one here with him everyday in the NICU. I think it’s just a preference if you’re mostly the only one he sees or interacts with everyday. Babies that small just have his comfort of being with mama that they’re more comfortable with I mean they were with us everyday for nine months I say give it time and have dad maybe feed him see if he can tolerate him holding him during feedings to strengthen their bond.

Always listen to your baby and watch how he reacts to things dad does.

We are dealing with this literally right now. Friday, our youngest will be 5 months old. I feel like it is a phase, because our two older children went through the same thing. I typically will sit next to my husband and help calm the baby…but without removing him from my husband’s lap (the majority of the time anyway). Lately, sitting on the front porch seems to help immensely. The change of scenery distracts baby enough that he settles quickly. Good luck Momma, hang in there…Daddy too!

Is this a first time dad? Or first time involved dad? He might feel nervous which translates to the baby and he is reacting. Try dad sitting comfortably and pass baby off gently. Keep your hand on baby’s head or back. Let dad feed baby. Keep it brief and extend time a bit each try. Be patient. If dad gets anxious when the baby starts to cry, it’s only going to get baby more anxious. Good luck! I’m sure it’s only a phase

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My now 5 month old was like this for a bit. It takes time. My husband started being the one to take her out of the crib in the mornings on the weekends when he is home and giving her baths, that really helped. She is still a mamas girl but she loves him too. Just takes time.

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My son took well with his dad but he was afraid of most men. My son was never shy around women just men. My son used to be scared of my brother his uncle. He was also afraid of his pediatrician who is a man.He grew out of it.

My daughter cried when anyone but me held her. She was like that,from the day we brought her home. She,eventually grew out of if and,went everywhere with her dad.

Put a shirt that you wore on dad’s chest then lay the baby down. Dad may be nervous because he doesn’t know what to do to help and baby is picking up on it. Maybe if the baby smells you it will make baby feel a little at ease and dad too.

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He needs to spend more 1 on 1 time with him especially if he is not around alot. He needs to get use to him and let dad learn how to sooth him

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As he gets older this will change. My hubby had to shave and take glasses off switch back to contacts . Now she can’t enough of daddy

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Maybe dad is nervous about holding him and your son is sensing this.

Does he (Dad) hold him close to him cradles him in his arms is there a certain blanket or pacifier he likes that would help calm him down when he holds him maybe give him a shirt with your smell would help him calm down when Dad holds him maybe try feeding him a bottle so Dad will get comfortable with his son

Have dad hold him while dipping his paci in sugar water. My son hated my husband’s hairy chest so he always wore a beater when cuddling…it took some time.

First , stop taking him from his dad. He’ll never get used to him if you’re grabbing him every time he cries. Let dad help out.

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Babies have instincts . Maybe father has done something to him/her.

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His is dad loud? My daughter wouldnt go to by dad or brother for the longest time she didn’t like that they were loud

We exclusively breastfeed but I have started pumping so that daddy can do a feeding now and then and that really helps with the bonding.

Dad needs to remain calm and soothe the baby. Maybe dimming the lights and dad whispers baby talk to the baby. Hold the baby close to his chest.hold the baby while its eating.

Same here… my hubby has to bribe bby with food and Peppa pig for her to stop screaming lol

How old is the baby?

He’s a baby… give him time

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Hang in there dad don’t give up!!!

They’re like dogs… They know!

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We found with my son, he doesnt like certain smells… he’ll go to his god father no issue, but if his god father has a certain smell around him my son cries (not a smelly smell, smell of something he’s ate or drank)… so could be a smell he doesn’t like, he hasn’t bonded enough with daddy, or is it possible hes heard his fathers voice while in the womb and his dads been maybe aggressive?
Maybe try a few different things to get the bonding between them like lye him on the floor and have his dad play with a few toys with him

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Its not that babies prefer moms. But they just usually bond faster with mom. Have dad still do things with him, talk with him etc. A bond wont grow overnight. Just a little at a time.

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My youngest did the same until he turned 3 smh. It’s painful to watch when you don’t know what to do to help or why the child reacts this way

My son had this problem too only o could hold him feed him what ever, but if I was not home and he could not see or hear me or smell me he was fine. Try that he just might rather mamma

It may be dads smell. Start wearing your husbands shirts after he’s worn them and also lay them around baby. Lay on the floor next to the play or on baby’s feet while in the swing or bouncer. Use them as burp wraps. Etc.

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Wear his dad’s shirts before he does. Then he smells like you and him and the baby might be okay with him

Dad have a beard? Mom, wear one of dads shirts & then have dad wear that shirt.

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My son was the same way probably for his first half of his first year but he was forced to get over it pretty quick when my husband had to care for him while I worked. Maybe leave him with his father alone for short times extending the time as he gets better. Before you know it he will be playing and laughing with his dad.

My 1.5 year old is STILL like this although these days it’s almost fake for attention. I am THE ONLY one who does anything for him and he is the worlds biggest mama boy. Never liked his dad as much as me but our three year old prefers him over me and is a huge daddies boy… I am not allowed to do anything for him when his dad is around, but when dad is at work he is fine. Just the way the kids are. :woman_shrugging:

Does he have facial hair? My daughter was scared of men who had beards.

Try after a shower with no deodorant or other added smells.