My 4-year-old has thoughts of killing himself: Advice?

My four-year-old son just started saying, ‘I’m going to kill myself, I am nothing,’ after being in his father’s care. We are separated and have joint custody. I’ve never heard him say anything like this before. His teacher said he just started saying it this week, after his father dropped him off at school, and he said it to me when I picked him up yesterday, and again today. I’m afraid he hears this at his father’s house, and I’m not sure how to address it. I have emailed him asking if he’s heard our son saying it, and where. But he has a tendency to dismiss it as nothing ('kids say the darndest things!) or completely ignore me. I’m very scared. What should I do?


I’d be concerned that the father is telling him that about himself (the child).


I would start with a pediatrician visit and get a referral to a child psychologist to evaluate why he’s saying these things or if anything occurred to make him feel this way


Um call CPS on his dad because clearly he’s hearing it from an adult, if not you it’s his dad.


Get him into see a psychiatrist

Oh that’s a Dr call in a new York minute

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That’s something that you do not take lightly ! I’m sure you’re a good mom. Get help !

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Please get him help to find out why he’s saying this! Maybe dad walks around saying things like this in front of him? Or some other adult? My goodness. That’s no way for a four year old to talk! :sob:


take him to a psychologist now. Let the psychologist determine the cause of these thoughts-if they say it’s a result of being at the other parent’s home, take that parent back to court with the recommendation of the psych. And contact DCFS because something is clearly happening there

Child outpatient now. Kids dont just say that stuff i would immediatley take work off. That is so scary

Take him to the health department they got ppl there that can help or if you have insurance then take him to the doctor

Where the hell is a 4 year old learning about this it’s shocking

Stop taking him to his fathers house and talk to him about JESUS ! Make fun of me all you want but he will really change your life :cold_sweat::blue_heart:


He heard it somewhere. He doesnt mean it, just repeating it. Find the source and get that person help and have an honest conversation with your 4 y/o in a way he will understand.


You need to sit down and ask him where this is coming from first of all. Has he heard it somewhere would be a good question to ask, not did you hear this from your dad.

Talk to the school social worker and get him into counseling. This is not typical of a 4 year old.


Try and get him help now! At least get an appointment scheduled. Unfortunately where I’m at it’s a 6-9 month waitlist.

Without sounding paranoid or anything, listening device, make sure your child is safe, it could be verbal abuse, which is horrible, but kids also copy parents, so make sure it’s not the dad saying it in a fit of depression, you may be separated but he still the dad, I hope it’s from a film tbh but have to cover all angles

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Oh how heartbreaking! Definitely address this with a counselor and if he’s hearing this at dads house, maybe reevaluate visitation

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Address it with the father first, then go from there. You know your child’s father is this a past behavior of his? Someone your son was around when was at his father’s and overheard it or even on tv? One step at a time. I’m sure he doesn’t even understand what he is even saying. Have a talk with your son and say why did you say that, Do you understand what that means? before you run to a therapist

He’s 4 so I have to wonder if he heard this on tv or a movie
Or what education is being taught at school
Yesterday was bell let’s talk day

Definitely address this with a professional. This is not okay.


Help him NOW there is clearly behavior happening at his father’s that is very unhealthy for the little boy. Poor sweetheart saying a prayer for you guys. Also, try to get a court date set to see about limiting or even suspending visits with the father.


It sounds like he’s picking it up from the father somehow. His dad needs to be evaluated


His dad or someone is either saying it or maybe he needs therapy.

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He needs to see a child therapist. If this is coming from an adult, it will be found out. If it’s coming from him internally, it will helped.


Could b dad or mental health issues with ur son! My son did this scared the crap outa me! Saw ped then thearpy now on meds for anxiety depression adhd & sensory dont wait plz for opinion take ur child get him help


Court for full custody and child psychologist


Take his to a child psychologist ASAP! To help understand where is coming from and help you understand how to deal with it.

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Figure out where he heard it. He probably doesn’t understand what he’s saying


Hess copying what he’s heard. I doubt he fully understands it


You need to take that baby IMMEDIATELY to your local mental Healthcare clinic or to a psychiatric ER.

I’d get help here. You’re wading into an issue with a very young child that may take some know how into how grief and feelings are processed that is really hard to teach such a young child. Reach out to the school counselor for some guidance on where to go looking for someone qualified in this area.

Oh my gosh I cannot imagine a child is young saying that he needs to see a therapist immediately

I would start therapy immediately. My son has SPD, ADHD, anxiety and possible autism. I have primary custody but my son goes with his dad twice a month. My son has major anxiety. A lot of different things trigger it. He says things like “I shouldn’t be alive”, “I hate my life”, “no one loves me”. He has never said he wanted to kill himself but he has said he wants to hurt himself. Going to therapy has been extremely helpful to my son. My son is 7 years old and at this age they do play therapy but his therapist can get a very good idea about whats going on even through play therapy.

tell his dad that he’s gotta cut the crap, and tell his son that’s not okay to say.

In today’s society kids are influenced by everything and suicidal behavior is among most of us everyday and a lot of people blow it off as someone just “asking for attention” when in all reality this is a cry for help so please get your little boy some help. Or take him out of school one day and spend one on one time with him get him to open up and express his self. A 4 year old has so many feelings running rapid and might not know what to do with them or how to express them.

Get him in therapy! Asap!

He’s hearing somewhere even if something on tv or youtube please seek a psychologist. Does a family member have a history of mental health or abuse

Get him to a child therapist. They can help. I personally see a therapist as well. He may not open up at first but he will get there. I’d also have a talk with his father about it

4 year olds don’t just come up with that. He’s heard it somewhere!


I would put a temporary hold on visits until he’s in therapy. If his father dismisses it.


my little cousin says it but his mom has mental health issues and i think he’s heard her say it then go away for a while. i take him to my house for a few days bc i think that means it’s not okay at home and he wants to go away

He may be saying it but doesn’t know what it means. Find out what’s going on at his dad’s. Some parents can poison a child’s mind out of spite.

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Unfortunately LADIES, if its court ordered, she can’t just STOP her son from going to see his dad. HOWEVER, in courts, they take VERY LIGHTLY to a child word, which is HIGHLY wrong & unfortunate… :-1:t4: I went through it for 2 years with my 2 kids & their father. Nothing remotely as serious as this. You never truly know what his father says to him let alone about himself, or anyone else in that household. A 4 year old, simply doesnt know what those words mean so hes hearing it from somewhere! However, I highly recommend him being taken to child outpatient, immediately & get him in some form of counseling so he has an outlet, outside of you and dad, and the truth always comes out. This way if it’s someone dads doing or saying, it’s not just you saying hes saying it, it’s another ear and a professional one at that, that can voucher for ylhim and yourself. And potentially even involve CPS

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Well, I wonder if hes over hearing something… could his father or someone else in that house be severely depressed and or suicidal and saying these things? Maybe not TOWARDS your son, but in front of? Either way it’s not ok, but maybe someone over there needs help? I dunno, but protecting your son is most important, definitely. Hope you get it sorted.

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Dr. Or Tharapist immediately. . And lawyer to push for Supervised visits. That’s. Really bad.!! That’s learned behavior


Take him to a councilor immediately! If it’s his own thoughts then he needs help, if it’s his father saying it to him about him then you need to address that, and if it’s his father saying it about himself in front of the kid then his dad needs help.


You need an emergency custody order and her needs therapy today

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Therapy asap. Tell them you heard him say these things and they’ll see him quick.

Does someone tell him he isn’t nothing and to kill himself ? I’d be keeping my child with me until shit got figured out . Therapy immediately momma

Is he hearing someone else say this
Could y he’s saying it

Doesnt really matter rite now who’s saying it u need to get him to talk with someone. That is horrible at 4 yrs of age…

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Find a therapist. I have a very similar situation and honestly the court does not care. I’ve been battling this situation for YEARS. Get your son in to see someone before it escalates. :broken_heart:

I wouldn’t get him to see a therapist personally. There is no way a 4 year old would say something like that because that’s how they actually felt, they’ll barely understand what it means at that age. He’s repeating what he’s heard someone else say. You need to locate the source!


What has he been watching or seeing to even know about it?

He could be hearing it from his father. He could be depressed

Have you asked your son about what he’s saying - does he even know what it means ? I’d talk to your kid first

Nope! No more visits to dad’s until this gets straightened out. He couldve heard it on a show or YouTube or whatever but until its figured out, no more dad visits except in your presence and heavily monitor screen time.
Counseling ASAP and talk with his teacher and school counselor in the meantime about what you need to do.
Thats so heartbreaking, mama. I dont even know what else to say.

This is learned behavior :roll_eyes:

Take him to the doctor, yes sometimes kids say things like that, but we do not ignore them, please take him in


Emergency temp hold on visita would be the first thing that should happen. Sit down and talk to ur boy, and see what he says. Stay super calm and ask many easy to answer questions. Talk to dad and see if he has anything to add. Wow. I would be scared and worried. Hes only 4…someone says it. And that needs to be addressed asap

I would file for emergency temporary custody and try to get full custody. The dad sounds unstable and sounds like he says this about himself in front of the kid.

Well, in the best case scenario he’s around a drama queen who says “I’m going to kill myself!” at the slightest inconvenience or on television. I hope you’re able to get to the bottom of it.

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Doesn’t really matter why he’s saying these things. He needs a professional to address it. If it turns out that he’s hearing it from his dad or someone else, then great. Easy fix. If he’s actually having self worth issues and is feeling some type of way, then he’ll be getting the help he needs. Better safe than sorry. I promise you that you won’t feel bad for reaching out and it being nothing. On the other hand, I doubt you would forgive yourself if you just continued to brush it off when you see a concern and something happened.

I would call his pediatrician and make an emergency appt. It is nothing to ignore. I would be more concerned about why hes saying it than where he learned it.


This makes me so sad

A four year old doesn’t just know “I’m nothing. I’m going to kill myself.” This has been heard and enough for a four year old to repeat it. You need to look into what the father says and what you son is allowed to watch at his house. It could be a tv show or movie, or someone at his dad’s house is saying it to him.


My suggestion is to have a heart to heart and remind him that you love him more than anything. Try to find out where it is coming from even if it is taking your child to a doctor. If someone brushes it off, go to the next doctor. Don’t allow it to be dismissed. There’s a number of possibilities and none can be dismissed. Good luck :sparkling_heart:

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Either the father has said that to him, or he over heard his father saying it about himself. Either way it needs to be addressed to the father. And if he won’t address or answer your concern you need to get it addressed by professionals. This is very serious


A four year old doesn’t even understand what that means. He is obviously repeating what he has heard. He isn’t the one who needs therapy but you do need to explain to him why he shouldn’t say that. Whomever he heard it from is who needs the therapy not this 4 year old child. A 4 year can not even understand his emotions nevermind feel something this specific. Your son is behaving just as 4 year olds do, repeating everything they hear.


Do not ignore this! Dont ever ignore something like this with a child or anyone else for that matter. Please seek professional advice right away!

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My son said he was going to kill himself at young age as well. I took him immediately to talk to a crisis worker at er because i wasn’t sure how to feel. They assessed him and determined that he didn’t even know what it actually really meant to kill himself. They did put him in a partial hospital program though and he had therapy. That was years ago. Come to find out his older cousin was telling him stuff about killing himself and thats where he picked it up from

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I defo go to doctor to speak to them

How long have you guys had joint custody? Did it just start happening? If so then you need to talk to Dad about it. If you guys have had this custody arrangement for awhile and your son all of a sudden said it, then talk to your son and don’t blame it on his father.

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Talk to your child and ask why he is saying that …is someone else saying it ( because of the way they feel and he over hears ) are they telling him that he is worthless and should be dead ( and who is saying this to him about him ) or is this just something that he himself feels …than have him also talk to a therapist to help him understand the ,who’s ,what’s ,why’s


Have a psychological evaluation of your X to see if your son is safe to be around the Dad!!! You can request it through the court get a letter from the teacher and whoever else has seen that behavior!

I would sit down with the father. A 4 year old doesn’t know what that means they had to of heard it. I would also take him to his doctor to for a professional opinion

Please take him to speak to someone. 2 weeks ago my 12 year old attempted to take her life.


Child therapist ASAP! Talk to you baby and ask him where this is coming from. Bring in people who can help seriously because if you do not get to the root of the problem it will get worse. Get ahold of the court and put a emergency hold on him going to his dad’s and explain why and with a child therapist, I would be terrified if my child came to me with this. Especially coming back from his dad’s and school.

It’s obvious he has repeated what he heard…but the last thing you wanna do I jump to conclusions as to where exactly he heard it. That’ll blow up and bite you in the ass…and it would absolutely piss me off if someone just assumed that on me. You need to find out here it come from first.

Sit down and talk to your son. Ask him what he thinks that means and, depending on how aware his answer is, ask him what made him think and feel this way. It could be happy a dozen reasons this is coming up. Someone could be telling him negative things, someone could be saying it and he’s copying them, he could be him not being happy in general about something. Once you know how much of that statement is actually him, you can then make an educated decision on how to address that problem.

He heard it or was told it

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I would encourage you to go in with him to his pediatrician. They would know how to talk to him about it without it becoming about getting attention. This is something to be taken seriously.

This is scary. You need to talk to both of them

4 years old and already saying this? That is scary and I would definitely call his doctor so he can refer him to counseling

Seek out a behavioral therapist. They will have a better idea of how to address this. This is pretty serious.

Don’t leave your baby ever :pensive::pray:please seek help asap.

File for emergency custody and take him to a psychologist. If it comes after being with a parent then the judge needs to know and facts need to be found


U need to see if u can stop him from going to his fathers

Talk to that baby. Find out from him why he is saying this. Email dad and let him know what your baby said. Make appointment with pediatrician tell him your concerns.

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He’s hearing that from somewhere definitely!!! We have a 4 year old and we DO NOT let him watch horrible movies, music etc. and one when I picked him up from school he was sining “ push me to the edge, all my friends are dead” I literally almost PUKED I couldn’t believe what I was hearing… we don’t talk that way at home etc. sure enough he heard it from one of his little friends, I guess it’s a song. Point is. He’s hearing it from either his dad or someone who he’s around.

ask d bby if his dad has said that to him

Advice on Facebook about your four year old wanting to die :thinking: And that teacher is mandated to report .

You need to get him to a therspist. You dont know what he has seen or heard. He may have seen a movie or something. 4year olds tell the truth.

Yes it is very scary! But also make sure you listen closely to all tv shows or videos that he may watch. You’d be surprised at the things that kids see. Even the innocent cartoons.

Talk to him…my 13 yr old was saying she wanted to die…I found out by talking to her she was being bullied and the school wasnt doing nothing about it when she told the dean…so I told her typists that an her typists called the dean an told him if she kills her self at any point in time while shes in this school I’ll be along with her mother will be pressing charges against the entire school …kids should never be saying stuff like this …I think hes hearing it more than hes feeling it …but it never hurts to have the school know …an u take him to get help to…hope every thing works out for the best

You talk to your son and his pediatrician and get him in for an evaluation. Why are you on FB asking?

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Aw no :cry: I would definitely go back to court for FULL custody and honestly I wouldn’t let him go with his dad. Something negative is going on there… kids don’t just say something like that. And I would get him into therapy asap.

Also the fact that his father isn’t showing any concern when you told him what your son said, is a red flag and I would do everything in your power to make sure he isn’t alone with his father.


Call Dr and father …he can not be seen by a therapist with out both parents consent