My 6-month-old cries unless I am holdering her: Advice?

It may seem over whelming if you can’t take a break for a few minutes. Try a swing so you can get a few minutes break. But honestly the years go by so fast. You should enjoy it!!

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Vibrating.
Chair.

Changed my world…

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“Cryin’…not dyin’” are the words I have echoing in my head haha! God I hated it when ppl would say that one to me too… like fine! Here! You fkn deal with…whatever this is and I’ll have a shower, a feed and a nap!

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My baby is 9 :pensive:…if I knew then what I knew now…

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Swing, bouncer chair with toys (for distraction), maybe play some music around the baby, see if that soothes.
I wouldn’t suggest letting baby “cry it out” (mother x3) & from experience, my first two, I never had the issue with being able to set them down. But if I did, & then they cried, I’d pick them up & reassure them, moms here, sometimes babies just need to know you’re there & need to feel your touch.
My last (current) baby, he LOVES to be held. Bouncer with toys has been a life saver, as well as a swing. & music.:hugs: lay baby down, but also talk to her? My baby loves to have people talking to him.
Maybe try that a few times a day, see if that works. Lay her down, talk to her, hold her hands. Let her know you’re still there. But mama needs a break. Eventually she will catch on.
Doesn’t mean you love her any less.

& for people saying you can’t spoil a baby. Yes, you can.:rofl:
You can’t give a baby too much love. But you can DEFINITELY spoil a baby.
Being a mama of two girls already…it happens quick, habits are developed & we don’t even realize it sometimes. Trial and error lol.
Now I’m on my final child (boy) & I’m obviously always learning, but know the do and don’t. lol.

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ENJOY IT NOW! I promise you when your child is 5-6-7 and they don’t need mom any more cause they’re so busy out playing, you’ll be wishing they were little again. Stop complaining cause you’ll regret it later.

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You’ve got a hard one.
This is exactly how my last girl was. Screamed unless she was being held by me specifically. Even then she’d cry most of the time. Wouldn’t let her daddy hold her for more than 3 min (she’d cry so hard she’d projectile vomit everywhere) until she was 8 months old.
She gave me massive anxiety and it was horrible. You aren’t spoiling her. She’ll grow out of it I promise. I had so many people tell me “just throw her in her crib and let her scream.” I tried that for nap time and it didn’t work. At all.
The cry it out method worked for her older sister but not her lol.

You have to let them cry out her down and let her cry. Walk away. It’s you who can’t handle the cry.

She’s not spoiled either she’s scared. But her down Dm one back rub her belly Pat her she will adapt and trust you are there

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You baby is not spoilt. Enjoy every second. Try the baby carrier(the ones that strap onto your front) . I swear time moves so fast and cuddles become a thing of the past!!! Good luck mumma. :heart:

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It’s normal ? Baby’s cry as a way of communicating you know that right , maybe she just wants to be all loved up with mama , treasure it cos it won’t last forever . Maybe invest in one of those sling things to help you out, of course letting her cry somewhere safe won’t hurt her, just don’t leave it to long. Good luck :heart:

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Mm why don’t you get a sling and put her in it. You can still get things done then. You can’t spoil a baby she obviously needs you which is why she cries for you.

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Everyone saying enjoy it. It’s nice to have that 5 minutes space trust me. My baby was the same. She’s 15 months now she cried alot infact 247 but was poorly which I knew something was wrong once she was diagnosed and started treatment she stopped wanting held all the time. Fast forward 2 months later when chemo was brutal… I’m back to this same position as you. I can’t go for a wee I can’t look away from her she screams lol. They know their mamas and always want us. But I feel you just to pee on peace or make a cuppa with out your trousers being pulled down :joy: my daughter did love her vibrating chair BTW was a godsend I used to snuggle her in with a blanket lol just comfort they want xx

You absolutely cannot “spoil” a baby - that’s such an outdated concept. I would try babywearing your LO like others have suggested :white_heart:

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Okay all these comments on how you can’t spoil a baby are incorrect. Research says until 2 months old you CANT spoil a baby. HOWEVER after 2 months old you CAN spoil a baby because they start to learn and adapt more. So def id say that she is doing this because it’s a learned behavior. It’s so toxic to just brush off your feelings. Slowly start teaching her that she has to be put down and she will survive. Do like a couple minutes each day until she is fine. Don’t just “enjoy it” will it be joyful when mom offs herself? :flushed: we wonder why ppd and anxiety is so bad.

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I held all 7 of my babies as much as they wanted. Wore a baby carrier almost 24/7 . My oldest is 26 now and I cherish those days. They weren’t spoilt . They wanted that closeness and bonding and I was happy to oblige.

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You can’t spoil a tiny baby like that.

And get a thing where you wear your baby.

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My daughter was the same way. I understand where you’re coming from. But let’s get 1 thing straight. She’s not spoiled. You can’t spoil an infant. Their lives are changing daily. Their little minds are trying to figure this world out. You, Mama, are the 1 constant in her life. She needs you. Don’t try to reject her. It’s going to make her need you more. Just love her. Cuddle her. You will soon miss this.

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Imagine thinking you can “spoil” a baby by holding it​:face_with_hand_over_mouth::rofl::rofl::rofl::woozy_face:

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You’re child is 6 freaking months old :woozy_face: what did you expect :woman_facepalming:

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I wore all of my babies to get tasks around the house done. They are only little for so long.

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Imagine all your feelings, and then having no idea at all about what they are… that’s a baby. She needs comfort

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My son is 10 weeks and he loves his mama time and I love it too​:sob::sob::yellow_heart: but when I do need to put him down I put lullaby music on my phone and do everything to make sure he’s comfy.

All the judgement here is crazy :crazy_face: Maybe she’s a first time mom with no help. This is supposed to be a safe place for mom’s, not a group for Karen’s to act like every mom is perfect and knows everything

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We’re you born in 1927? You can’t spoil a baby. You can only love a baby and give them security…

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Ok people that say you can’t spoil a 6 month old, do any of your kids go to childcare? Because I’ve seen babies there that can’t function without being held 24/7 and this translates to toddlers that want the same thing. You can give a child closeness and security without holding them all the time. As a mom of two I couldn’t imagine feeling like I couldn’t put them down. With my second ppd hit hard and it’s an overwhelming feeling to be touched constantly by someone. Mamas need a few minutes of peace too. How does one expect to go to the bathroom or take a shower if their child needs to be held? My advice would be to put your child down and sit next to them. They may fuss at first but start to show them that it’s ok to be on the ground. By sitting next to them and interacting with them it’s showing that mama is still there and you can still interact with them and play. As the child gets more and more used to being on there own I would begin to just sit next to them without actively playing and slowly start to move away as they play independently. Building a foundation of independence this early is not a bad thing. Babies don’t need to be touching us constantly to feel secure, loved, and safe. My children were not held 24/7 and are the most independent, adaptable, secure, affectionate, and empathetic children I know.

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Idk why people are judging… maybe she’s a ftm thats overwhelmed and struggling? We’ve all been there. She’s looking for support.

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She’s a baby it’s what they do

Mine did that for a year, buckle up :sweat_smile:

All of my kids were like this from newborn - close to 2 years old it’s normal and it’s not spoiling… it gets overwhelming I get it I had 4 under 4 but they are little humans who need love and affection you are their safe space and they have no other way of showing feelings than crying and wanting to feel your warmth I personally loved that for my kids my oldest is 6 and still insists on a big cuddle session before bed every night I’d rather them know if they need me I’m here for them.

Only gets worst. Shouldn’t have became a parent then haha :sweat_smile: my child’s 4 and I still don’t get things done, you clean they make a bigger mess. Get over it. Enjoy that time while you can, baby’s grow quick and fly right by . Don’t complain their are people out their that can’t even have children and would love to hold their little one and would die to do it .

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There is nothing you can do. Hold the precious baby and cherish it, they grow so fast :cry:, you will miss it one day.

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It’s not spoiling. But she definitely knows how to work you lol. Redirect. She cries. Hand a toy or something

She’s not spoiled just needing extra security and love and comfort. I know it’s hard. I’ve been there, but my advice is to buy a nice baby carrier and wear her. It’ll help you do things around the house and shop. In a few months she’ll be walking and curious and wanting to explore instead of be held.

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Just let her cry it out. Let her learn to self sooth.

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You’ll miss those moments one day

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If she isn’t usually like that it maybe caused by growing pains. Stretch her arms and legs. Lay her down to do tummy time and massage her back, shoulders, arms and legs. Our oldest and our son was the same around 6 months. Our youngest didn’t do it until she hit I believe around a year and again around 2yrs. She could also have gas so doing the massage and rotate her legs like she’s riding a bike may help. If not talk to her doctor to make sure it isn’t something that is hurting her. A lot of times it’s nothing but as a baby it’s the only way they can communicate.

I would suggest let her cry, maybe sing a song while you put her down or talk to her so she knows your still there. I worked in child care and this is normal for the new babies. You can spoil her as much as you want but also when you need to shower or eat baby needs to cry it out bc you need to also take care of yourself so you can care for baby properly. There’s nothing wrong with baby crying it out if all needs are met. It’ll teach self soothing and independence. As long as you reassure, keep saying what your doing out loud and tell baby when your done you can get her. She might not understand but in time she will get it.

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Easy you don’t lol. 7 and 13 both attached at the hop

Cuddle them they get bigger than your arms quick :two_hearts:

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You can’t spoil a baby. Just hold her. If this is first, welcome to motherhood. Eventually your baby will learn to sooth herself.

DO NOT LET HER CRY IT OUT!

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Aww hold that baby!!! She’s only a baby for a little bit. Then they become teenagers and only communicate in eye rolls and grunting.

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You can’t spoil a baby. You can hold her and love her and it’s nurturing- not spoiling. Kids go through phases and I know it’s tough on sleepy moms who just need a break but please remember that although the days may be long- the years will be short. Time flies and she’s only little for a little while. Forget the dishes and and the laundry. They’re not going anywhere.

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Hold her. She must have need to feel safe and secure.

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I don’t feel a baby can be spoiled especially by being held
Being held is such a positive comfortable safe place for a baby and in my opinion holding a baby definitely isn’t spoiling them

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My daughter was the same way lol nothing ever worked. The best thing that worked for me was to get a baby carrier and carry her on my back so I could get stuff done. She is 10 now and still clingy!

My pediatrician told me that 6-10 months is when they start developing separation anxiety, some babies get it, some don’t. It sounds like that’s what your little one has. Good news is that it’s probably just a phase. I would get a carrier and do that for a little while. Once he/she starts crawling, she’ll wanna do that instead.

I went through the exact same thing she’s not spoiled she just wants you now I wish I would have listened and not have picked him up as much and I wish I would have tried to redirect a lot more but my boys almost 7:00 and he is a very huggy loving little boy and most the time polite but yes if she’s crying tell her Mommy needs time and hand her a toy

Take it from someone who has anxious attachment most likely from my mother not holding me outside of the necessities, hold her. This is the time that she learns whether or not you will be there to meet her needs and will affect so many things for her in future.
Get a baby carrier that can go on the front or back and transition her to that.
At 6 months babies are just barely actually capable of learning to self-soothe (before 6 months they literally don’t learn how to self soothe, they just learn that crying won’t get them what they need so they stop crying) but she is by no means actually capable of self-soothing and reducing cortisone levels on her own (the stress hormone produced by their crying).
That’s not to say she needs to be on you 24/7, but she will grow out of it as she becomes more mobile and wants to explore her surroundings more than she wants to be held.

YOU CAN NOT SPOIL A BABY!!! I have 6 kids. They all do this. Most it’s a phase. I have a 3 year old that is super clingy. But none of my other kids are. Well the ones who are not babies. The 11 month old and 7 week old are still babies and clingy.

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Mamaroo? I think thats what its called lol. My first was that way and we had to get a white noise machine and a seat that moved her around but didnt like the swings… had to be a jostling motion like being carried. Alternatively we also got a baby carrier so that i could wear her and still be productive. Good luck. It passes. :hugs:

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Put her in a pack n play or a seat or bouncer etc…near you. And sing to her and talk to her while your doing stuff…give toys etc…never a fan of the cry it out…but they do need to have time to learn to play on their own also …it’s good for them…to develop those skills…be positive about it…do crazy dances…you can still make it entertaining while you are doing dishes etc…give them play dishes…here you do the dishes like momma …folding clothes…give the socks to play it…kids love to play with unmated socks…just use your imagination…maybe she is picking up on your anxiety as far as putting her down as well…if you have you tube. There is some great kids music you can put on and sing to as well…

My daughter was/is the same way. She’s almost a year old now. I felt the same as you but we have found ways to make us both happy. We just tried out a bunch of different things to figure out what worked. I put her in her bouncer next to me while I showered or did other things, playpen in the room I was in, high chair while I was doing things in the kitchen or if all else failed I would just stick her in her backpack thing and carry her around with me. I would talk to her or sing to her and make funny faces and sounds so she got the attention she was needing from me while I did those other things. Turning music on also helped ALOT. Big changes are happening for her and you and she has spent more time in your tummy close to you than she has outside of it. I know it is hard but it won’t be hard forever and you will find what works for both of you. It just takes some time and patience. A little crying when you first try things out is ok….just please don’t let her cry forever like others have suggested…that could cause more harm than good. Pick her back up a million times if you need to until she figures out that momma is right there and she gets comfortable on her own. You got this momma and you both will make it through the hard parts. :purple_heart:

You hold her.
They can’t be spoiled at that age.
It’s overwhelming now but she’ll grow out of needing you so much quicker than you think.

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Baby wear. She’s 6 months old, you can NOT spoil a baby by attending to their needs. At this age they are an extension of you.

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It’s a phase. Babies get clingy I remember my daughter did that for a while as a baby and honestly periodically still! She’s almost 6
It is hard when they are babies and you can’t explain to them you’re busy though. Just ride it out

Let her cry …let me clarify that if shes dry fed n not in pain let her cry for a few it won’t hurt her n she will learn to self sooth

It’s impossible to spoil a baby. Your 6 month old is acting like a 6 month old. Pick them up. If you arms are tired or you have things to do baby wear. For the love of god do not make a 6 month old cry it out.

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Her love language must be touch. Can’t spoil a 6 month old.

Oh man - it sounds like you’re feeling so frustrated at this point. I hope you have help to off load baby at some point in your days.

You can wear your baby so you’re hands free and they get the snuggles & closeness all babies need. I understand the need to feel free and stretch without someone attached to you - so I’m not invalidating that feeling. All things are possible.

Helping baby feel safer & closer & attached to you make it easier for them to build up trust reserves when you’re away or need to take a break. They’re still an infant but the work you put in now will show for itself very soon. Good luck…

Wear your baby - they won’t cry as much and you will still get things done if that’s your goal

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You will cry even more when they hit the stage of not wanting to spend ANY time with you, trust me, I know they all say it, and people roll their eyes, you WILL miss these moments❣️ get a sling… My youngest was the wanted me the most so a family member got me one of those slings and it waddled her and cuddled her up against me as I did my chores and my gardening and all my other stuff (except for the bathroom, I did that when I took showers, lol… I was a single mom of 4 at time. So I showered when my eldest was nice enough to watch her or my youngest son would play with her on her swing while I took one

Girl invest in a baby wrap

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Please enjoy it while it lasts. I know this isn’t much help right now, but she will out grow this stage soon and become independent before you know it. It’s difficult now but don’t worry, things will make sense soon :sparkles:

Your baby is NOT spoiled! You are your baby’s most valuable possession… motherhood is not always rainbows and butterflies… it’s hard man… but this won’t last… just cherish this stage… I promise it goes by wayyy to fast :white_heart:

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Babywear, it’s a life saver :slight_smile:

They’re only little for a little while. They go through so many developmental changes in such a short time… it’s tough!

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I would lay the shirt i wore all day next to her in her crib or lay her on my pillow. It would smell like you and migt be enough comfort for a while.

I understand that there are baby slings you can wear to hold baby to you as you go about some of your daily chores. There will be some things you will need to set the baby down to do. I would recommend getting a high chair and propping the baby up in it on both sides. Then putting a few toys on the tray. Put her close to the kitchen counter as you wash dishes and put things away. Then you can talk to her and let her know what you’re doing. There will be times when you need to fold laundry. This is an excellent time for tummy time. Sit cross legged on the floor with her as you fold the clothes. Set them up on the coffee table or couch as you get them done. She may cry a bit, but just keep talking to her and letting her know you’re there with her. When you’re making beds, you may have to do that while she’s napping. Or get everyone to do their own. When you finish your chores, you may want time just to sit and relax. If you haven’t yet put baby down for a nap, put a shirt you’ve worn in the crib with her and get a noise machine with a mother’s heartbeat setting. Rock her to sleep, then ease her into her crib. Sneak out of the room. You should be good for half an hour or so. She’ll still be indignant, but she’ll get better. Before you know it, she’ll be busy with friends and music and school and boys… you’ll wish you had these days back.

YOU CANNOT SPOIL AN INFANT BY HOLDING IT! Most children under the age of four do not know how to self-soothe and look to you as their comfort. Get a baby wrap and give your child the comfort they need.

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All the other shit can wait. Be with your child! If you need a break call someone or start looking for a sitter. You can’t spoil a baby ever

Wear your baby. Remember, you only have a baby for a couple of years and you can never get that time back. Enjoy your baby and don’t worry about “spoiling” her. You can’t possibly spoil a 6 month old

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It is not uncommon for babies to cry for attention. Remember, they spent 9 months in your tummy in very small accommodations. Now they still want the closeness. Give them all the love and cuddles they want now because the time will come when they won’t want them. Cherish these moments. You won’t regret it.

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I am raising my granddaughter, had her since day 1. She’s 9 months old and has been doing this for sometime. It’s totally normal and actually a milestone. Just try to keep her in eyesight so she can see you. When you do have to leave her in a room alone. Make sure you give her hugs and also reassure her when you renter the room with a hug. She will outgrow it just be patient until then. She’s learning to trust your return. Never sneak away when her backs turned. It might be easier at the time but won’t be healthy down the road.

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