My seven-year-old daughter still has accidents, and I am at a complete loss as to what to do. She has had digestive issues all her life and has seen a pediatric gastroenterologist who helped fix her colon, but she still poops her pants every day, and the doctor said she doesn’t know what more she can do for her. My daughter doesn’t respond to rewards and doesn’t care about you taking anything away from her or putting her in time out as punishment. Both I and her teachers make her go to the restroom every hour, and we still have daily accidents. She is lactose intolerant, and I follow a very strict diet and only give her water or juice to drink, and I send her lunch to school every day, so I know exactly what she’s eating. On top of this, her birth mother (she’s adopted) did meth while she was pregnant and as a result, my daughter has an extremely low IQ and is classified as intellectually disabled, so trying to explain anything to her doesn’t do any good because she doesn’t understand. Has anyone ever experienced this issue, and if so, how did you help fix it? I’m completely at my wit’s end, and I just don’t know how to help her.
She probably has encopresis. It might not be her fault.
First all my heart goes out to you because your an amazing loving parent❤️Bless you
I would honestly just have her wear kid/smallAdult pull ups… maybe help a little bit with not making quite a big of a mess.
My son had accidents till 6. It was frustrating but eventually it stopped.
It’s a terrible thing to deal with but part of having a child with a physical abnormality/disability. I personally wouldn’t punish her, that’s just setting her up for emotional and psychological problems to go with the physical ones. I can’t imagine having to change a 7 year old or older daily, I feel for you!
Sounds like it’s not her fault and you need a new doctor. Maybe have her wear pull ups for now but definitely get different opinions.
look up ‘encopresis’. If she is prone to digestive issues, she may have chronic constipation. This leads to fecal matter leaking past the blockage. It’s not an easy thing to fix, as her colon may be stretched and need repair. Treatment is usually an extended course of laxatives, regular sitting on the toilet, possibly enemas, and in severe cases, hospital stays for clean outs.
Start having her wear pull ups to help with mess, it’s quite possibly not her fault. Dont make a big deal out of it, just use them instead of panties. If she doesn’t like them, make a goal out of no accidents so she can graduate back out of them.
Dont punish her for something she cannot help. Get a second opinion.
My 9 year old girl still does too.
if she’s intellectually disabled, this may be a lifelong issue which you, nor she-can control. Work with her and reward for “not” but stop punishing a developmentally disabled child for “accidents”. It’s like punishing a 90 year old with bladder and bowel issues—it’s humiliating and isn’t going to work, and will give the child self esteem issues
Do not mention it to her, it will make it worse. All kids develop at own pace. Leave it be. Clean it up, make the bed with a tarp to protect and instill hygiene. Pointing out flaws in behavior that isnt chosen behavior is cruel and she will internalize it. Tell her everyone and their bodies mature as they’re supposed to…build her self esteem!
I think reaching out to a special needs group for this question will get better tips and tricks she may just be developmentally delayed in this area and those momma’s who have dealt with high needs or special needs kiddos have probably been through this
It’s ok to have her wear pull-ups and to be discrete. Don’t worry about her age. Even though she is 7, her mind is not. You dont even need to explain why she is wearing them. It will save her humiliation and give you a sense of security.
Been dealing with the same issue for 13 years & my daughter was just diagnosed with ulceractive colitis. Saw a GI specialist her whole life. & now has to take mirlax everyday
Might look at the juice. Juice caused issues with my child.
My sister was the same way when she was younger, except for the Meth part
She had BM accidents daily no matter how much she was toileted. Momma took her to a different Dr and he discovered that the muscle in her rectum was the issue. (She didn’t feel the sensation that she needed to have a BM)
It’s been 40+ years ago so I’m unsure of what they done to correct it. But maybe mention the rectum muscle to her PCP
Well first off, being a drug exposed person myself as well as adopted because of it, it’s not her fault. Have you talked to her? Can she feel when it’s time to poop? Can you explain to her that when she feels a certain way it’s her body telling her it’s time to use the potty?
As a kid I had bladder control problems that were secondary to the drugs my bio mom used while pregnant with me. It took a while for me to not have accidents, but it was nowhere near my fault. Take her to get every test done to try to figure this out and if you don’t like the answers you get, go elsewhere and get another opinion.
My kiddos are adopted too and my oldest used pooping as a control mechanism. She eventually out grew it but it was the one thing in her life she could control.
Kids love stickers have you tried a weekly sticker chart? She gets a sticker to place on her paper every time she poops in the potty.
Idk if she is in special education classes or not but they can continue the sticker chart at school too.
Dont punish her…get a new dr, the one you currently see has given up so she needs to be replaced by someone who cares.
I would get a second opinion and stop punishing her for something she can’t control!!
Every child is different . My pediatrician has always said he doesn’t worry until a child is 12 . Just be patient with her .
My son has Eoe and had accidents all the time. He can’t feel it because of the inflammation in his colon
My 7yo son had a similar issue without the mental holdbacks. He didn’t care either. We found keeping him on a daily dose of restoralax at his peds recommendation worked best to minimize the accidents. Once his body acclimated to the daily dose at the same time he began to have timeable bowel movements so that we knew exactly when to make him sit on the toilet. Once he started recognizing and identifying the indicating sensations and taking himself we were able to wean him off the meds. It took him most of a year.
She will out grow it my grandson had the same pròblem
Maybe get a 2nd opinion definitely sounds like something going on also her being developmentally delayed could factor in I have a 6 year-old autistic daughter that had the same problem now she is day time potty trained we had to use a potty chart once she filled it up with stickers she got to pick a special prize she is not night time trained cause the meds they have her on to sleep but she uses pull ups at night. As frustrating as it is I wouldn’t recommend punishment it could make the issue worse I recommend patience good luck
Make her clean her self up. My 4.5yr old was still doing this. So i made him clean himself up and he said to me momma im never doing that again id rather use the toilet. Worked like a charm.
No doctor should tell you they dpnt know what else they can do . GET A SECOND OPINION. I have a child with medical issues. And i have got her a second opinion . and please do not punish her. If it really is an issie which seems it is medical you should feel bad for punishing that sweet baby.
Pretty Normal. My mom had spare blankets in my room, I knew how to deal with it myself rather then the embarrassment of waking her up.
No water a hour before bed and make sure she pees before bed
Sounds like encopresis…my 12yr old has it…they did a xray and found 4 blockages it took several months of meds and cleanouts to clear the blockages
Is it possible that she’s gluten intolerant? I’m wondering if it’s diarrhea like or if it’s normal?
I trip trained my son who is intellectually disabled. He has to stay on the toilet for 15 mins each trip because he doesn’t tell us if he has to poop and the only way for us to know if he has to is that he will start towards the end of the 15 mins…
Has she ever shown that she has the ability to “hold it in”?
We also used “first” “then”. “First you poop, then you can ”
If you message me directly I can talk to you more in detail what has worked for us
You can ask your dr for a Rx for pull-ups and just keep her in them for a while. Maybe she will grow out of it.
She may have a condition called irritable bowel syndrome. Most of the time when one feels they have to have a bowel movement then they really can’t hold it. Plus lots of stomach pain. If she has already been having stomach problems then this could be it. I would also get another Doctor for this problem. Maybe more educated about her stomach problems.
Second opinion and with a Dr. specializing in the area your child needs with the communication issues.
First its not her fault also has she been tested for disabilities reward system works its how you do it ! I have a son whose adhd and odd and he does the same not everyday now but does have them my advice to you is set a time to sit with her and explain female things to her for her age if she can do good all week then snall reward end of month a really special big reward watch her daily activity and see patients too cause it wont happen over night either its routine is what she needs the same routine everyday home or school see if that works like i said its not her fault it sounds like disability in her what not sure thats not her fault some thing happen and you may never know or understand just like her she still learn i always have to repeat thing its ok though its worth it also make sure she looks at you when your talking hearing it is one thing but her see your lips move with words might also help its a mental thing when comeing to children
Her tube that drains the bladder might not be big enough. Get her to dr
Have u tried one of these nesting poop stools so she can put her feet up way higher?
Just thought not sayin solve problem.
Maybe let her decorate the potty area like with things she really likes, reading to her while sitting on potty , water therapy with jets warm water and bubbles to help her relax and stimulate belly?
You need to send her to school in pull ups so kids don’t make fun of her and get a second opinion
I was told it is basically the only thing they can control… Similar situation here. She is now 20 and I took her to docs like you. Finally a therapist and after about 6 months with the therapist pooping in her pants stopped… GOOD luck and hang in there
I would suggest therapy too. Sometimes a stranger can accomplish what a parent can’t. She may pick up that it upsets you. It may all be for attention. Kids do weird stuff
My 6 year old has ibs and I deal with this on going. Also my dr had said that stress will bring it on. I am been very stressed momma and she is feeding off me. Hang in there momma i was told gets easier I hope.
I am an adoption worker. This does happen more than you would think. My coworkers adopted daughter had this problem until she was 10. A number of things can cause it. If you didn’t have her yet and someone tried to potty train her too strictly, she may trouble being able to tell when she needs to use the bathroom, oppositional defiant kids
often have this problem cause it is something they can control. and also constipation can cause it. A good thing to do is make her responsible for the clean up. When it happens send her into the restroom with wipes and a new pull up and leave the clean up to her. Look up encoprisis on the computer. It could a form of it . Try not to get mad at her cause that might make it worse. Just make her deal with it. Take good care and thank you for caring for her and loving her
Make her clean it herself.
Could it be a med.reactoin see another doctor
There are a lot of questions that need answered 1st before anyone can help. Does she go in her pants on purpose? Does she not feel when she has to poop? Is it too late when she does feel the urge? Juice by the way will make a kid poop more sometimes.
So I maybe wrong but you mentioned mom did damage with meth ( and I’m so sorry she did that to her daughter) but I sense it’s like a elder with alzheimers. It’s going to take someone spending time with her. Not saying you dont but someone whose job is that can spend 8 hours with her with no distractions
Chrones disease is possible
I was giving my daughter stool softener (bowel issues) she had less accidents. She is not leaking poo anymore but still has wee accidents, she just turned 7
Could she have tethered cord ? One of ours did and it caused lack if bowel and bladder control. After surgery, all was resolved.
Sounds like encopresis to me. One of my girls had it. You have to retain her to recognize when she’s using the bathroom because people with this don’t realize they’re "going ". Dr said her sphincter muscle (aka buddy hole, sorry) didn’t work right and she didn’t feel the sensation of needing to go. We had a dr note for school to make teachers allow her extra bathroom time and to tell her she HAD to go try after breakfast and lunch and before school let out so she wouldn’t go in her pants on the bus. She didn’t get diagnosed until she was a teenager and we’d just been told to use miralax her ENTIRE life,which did not help. She was a 16 when she finally quit going on herself.
I am coming across this completely by chance, and you may have found a solution… I have three adopted children and one of my boys had a similar issue… MANY years of accidents, pull-ups, doctors, tests… you name it we did it… finally we just stopped thinking about it and put him in an adult diaper and called it a day. My now ex-husband also decided he needed something in his life to occupy his mind, so they started running together. After about four months of daily runs, guess what NO MORE accidents… This might not work for everyone, and by this time he was 16, but just taking his mind off the control of his bowels and giving him something else to occupy his mind and body seemed to work for him. He is now 18, almost 19 and 100% accident free and living mostly independently… something we never thought would happen 3-4 years ago when we would actually have to remind him that he needed to put a new depends on when it was dirty!!
She needs to clean herself she is old enough give her wipes and a pull up every time and make her go clean herself . Also a second opinion . Make sure her rear is covered with a shirt so the kids don’t see. You can get a prescription from the doctor so they are covered. Like the above said it is what it is however don’t stop with finding a competent doctor but you can’t control the situation you can also get her pull on adult diapers when she out grows the pull ups. Better than a mess in pants
Maybe its anxiety talk with her
Advocate for your child, seek other medical opinions. Don’t stop fighting for her. You’re doing a great job.
Chiropractic Care. When I worked at 1 there was a 10 year old patient who kept having accidents. after couple months of treatment he had almost no accidents.
Do everything to help her a new Dr evaluation. Just love her
My son is 7 and we still have the same issue just without all the extra issues added on top. No advice but just letting you know you’re not the only one. Best of luck! 
Does she do big poops in her underpants be or streaks/smears? Is she constipated? My son is six and poops smears and streaks due to constipation so he takes Miralax every day.
Definitely do not let her have Apple juice. That will cause her to go.
Maybe try a urologist, I know you said poop, but they can help to.
I’ve heard that chiropractic care has helped some children.
You need to talk to a pediatrician who can direct you to someone who specializes in special needs kids. It sounds like she maybe incontinent and can’t help herself so pull ups maybe your only option. She needs to be in a school that understands her needs and knows how to deal with it
u r right cassie butler–its a meth baby #1 problem. #2 a friend of my mom had a son with very high IQ but didn’t want to touch his shit so he would do it in his pants every dad unless his mom was around to wipe his butt up to age of 12yrs old. #3 my mom is lactose she can’t have any dairy or veg or fruit only meat n rice,potato n white bread everything else will make her go asap. Remember u have a Meth baby IQ has nothing to do with it.try to be more understanding or adopt her to another family. love her for her
Have the docs checked for a tethered spinal cord. My daughter has spina bifida. Thats a sign of a tethered cord.
Look up encropresis. 2 of my children and a grandson have it. Pediatric G.I. can help. Just remember special needs or not no one does this on purpose and discipline won’t help and can actually make it worse. Best wishes and blessings to you.
Try chiropractic!
May have nerve
Impingement. Works for bed wetting too.
It might be time to get a mental health therapist and see if there is something else going on.
My nephew has this issue, his pediatrian and specialist said it’s because he need to retrain his bowels to function. They had to put him an a bathroom schedule basically. Still has accidents, but it’s lessoning.
Acupuncture I swear by it !!
Chiropractic but find on that works on brain stem it’s a different way but works wounders
Cut the juice out of her diet.
Until you find a solution you may just try keeping her in some depends underwear.
Please be patient with your child. There’s a reason why kids do this. A complete checkup from a different Dr could help. Most kids want to be praised for the positives but shame hurts there feelings. Don’t stop looking for an answer.
Food sensitivities (besides lactose)? Gluten, etc? Allergy testing?
Maybe have her see a child therapist. It’s common for children to have potty issues when they have experienced trauma in the past (the issues with her bowls could have caused it)
When was she adopted? Maybe traumatized still. It’s hard being torn away from your real biological family and sometimes the trauma doesn’t go away at all.
Find a new doctor! Don’t give up on her. Counseling might be a good option too.
Sounds like she needs a therapist that is certified in Seed Digging techniques and Play Therapy.
Maybe she is just incontinence and needs to have her needs met in that way
Get new doctors. You’ve already explained she has XYZ problems. Your current doctors arent doing anything to help. You cant discipline the stomach problems out of her.
I think you might just have accept that because she is a special needs child she going to do this. Maybe step back and come to a place if acceptance that it is what ir is.
My 6 year old grandaughter, almost 7 does the same thing. We have tried everything, my daughter and i, as well. (I have thought of purchasing stock in hanes!) Cant get the stains out! We are at a loss as well. She has sensory issues but does go #1 well! Any thoughts, suggestions. Hope you can find your answer.
Try seeing a Dr for Incontinence issues or a counselor.
Have you tried her on a gluten free diet or had her tested for celiac? I wish I had more suggestions for you. Hang in there mama.
Why on earth have you been punishing her and taking things away? It doesn’t sound like she can control it or does not yet understand how to control it. Yes, she’s 7, but how old is she mentally? You’re dealing with the results of meth. Just imagine the things her cells and body had to overcome during development. I would suggest you be patient. If hourly trips to the bathroom are not working, try half hour incraments. Try to help the child to recognize the feeling. Make a big deal out of the feelings that are happening before and during the process of going to the bathroom.
Are you sure that she feels the need to go? Just curious.
I would consider taking the juice. Is is now to make kids have loose stools. My son had a lot of issues with accidents and once we stopped giving juice his issues stopped.
Stop the juice buy lactose milk or almond milk don’t punish her for something she cant control
I’m right there with you. My 8 year old son does the same thing. Have gone to drs and such. He does have severe PTSD. So we are working with a therapist. At first I was punishing him for it. Just taking stuff away. But now I just don’t say anything about it. The therapist says it’s a control issue for him. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do until they are ready and let them heal.
Maybe just put diapers on her. If she’s unwilling, or incapable of understanding…and it’s continuing…save yourself the headache and laundry, just buy pullups or xs Depends
Go to the doctors. Maybe she’s on the Autism spectrum. He can organise tests where needs be or point you in the right direction. Don’t let them fob you off tho, Lovely, there’s obv an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Keep banging on until you get listened to… I’d leave the Consequences for now, seems they’re having no effect anyway. And don’t make a drama out of accidents, just mop up and carry on. You’re doing great, Lady, keep it up please… X
Depending on her intelect abilititesmaybe she is not ready not to have accidents
No joke take her to a chiropractor. I have a friend who’s daughter sounds like yours but added kidney and bladder problems. Nothing worked till she took her in to see one. I’ve had my doubts about it but it never hurts to try.
I would out her in pull-ups and just be patient and work with her. She may not be able to help it.
It’s a medical issue. She can’t help it. My friends daughter had the same issue for years. Just always have extra clothes and wipes for her. It’s very hard on the child as well
Have the doctor write a referral to her insurance company and have the insurance pay and deliver pullups to your door until she can go fully on the potty
It could be the sugar in the juice. My son had accidents that he could not control & I was convinced it was fructose corn syrup-every time he ate ANYTHING with it in it he’d have an accident! He was tested & came back positive!
Start by eliminating foods that could be the cause…now a days it really could be anything! Or get a referral to an allergist.
Research Mega Colon. My son had this type of problem. I put extra fiber in my sons diet, fed him lots of melon,(cantaloupe, honeydew etc) and made him sit on the potty and go at regular times. All this helped him and his problem eventually went away. Good luck.
My son did this till he was 9 years old. Cut off food and dairy atleast 3 hours before bedtime, this helped us tremendously. He hasn’t had an accident for years now
I can’t provide any advice on that, but I’d like to say, I very much honor the way you speak about her and that issue and seem to put her first in a way of understanding, this must be first of all unpleasant for her, not so much inconvenient for you or school. That caught my attention and I think folks like that make the world a better place!