I have a coworker that has a similar issue with her child. She has them pee before bed and then sets and alarm for sometime in the night (I believe about 4-6 hours after her kid goes to bed) and gets them up to potty. Good luck momma!
My son went through this, I felt like a failure, I didn’t know how to help him. Dr’s were no help. I finally just got him up at 3 am and 6 am. And limited fluids at night.He finally grew out of it about 15. I didn’t make a big deal, we just cleaned up the mess and moved on…just hug her, let her know it’s not her fault. Every body is different.
My daughter is going through this as well and now is see by CHOP urology and endocrinology they still have trouble figuring out what is going on she is on a daily antibiotic and had a couple procedures done but still no definite answers very frustrating my daughter just turned 7 this has been going on since she was 4 before that no accidents during the day ir at night
So I dated a man who’s daughter had this and I was losing my ever loving mind . She was almost seven !!! Same thing and she would sit in soiled clothes all day at school didn’t care or didn’t notice . After a while the doctor thought it was impacted bowel issues . So she would essentially get so constipated that her bladder would loose function due to so much pressure . She would also have like leaky poop accidents alllll the time . I highly recommend lots of miralax ,stool softeners, and a ton more fiber and fluids . Initially we thought it was behavior … turns out she really couldn’t help it 
hang in there I hope this helps
Sounds like it may be something traumatic like abuse going on. I would talk to a child psychologist, because this isn’t normal
The amount of bad advice you have received here is borderline criminal. People should not be giving medical advice if they don’t have expertise in a subject, please review my work available online regarding this topic, the accidents have a medical cause and they can be treated
I have the same issue with my 11 and 7 year old. They potty trained good and everything was great for a while then they started wetting the bed at night. I have tried everything even pills for my 11 year old and nothing has seemed to work. I’m praying they out grow it. My oldest two never had any bed wetting issues and it does get very frustrating.
My daughter had a hormonal imbalance that caused bed wetting dr put her on a medication and two weeks later no more bed wetting then she was weaned off by a month later never an accident since I would tell you what they gave her but she’s 21 now and can’t remember
To the original poster and other commenters in similar situations, please check out Bedwetting and Accidents. It could be enuresis and/or encopresis due to chronic constipation. Enemas saved us in a long, unnecessary journey with Miralax, pediatric GI, etc. Good luck on your journey.
My nephew was having accidents till like 11 years old come to find out my sister took him to the chiropractor and after talking to them then found something in his neck makes him wet the bed she now takes him weekly to the chiropractor and wakes him up twice a night because he is also a hard sleeper and he hasn’t had accidents in a long time
I never punished or made it a naughty thing. Get pull ups and stop drinks at 7 pm. Shaming and punishing are not working. I had one that was older when she finally over came it. XO Don’t take it personal or be ashamed, the doctors are correct.
My son is 8 he still gets the bed. My nephew stopped wetting the bed around 7. I tho for a while it was a boy thing. Cuz I knew a kid that did until when he was 12. Try pull ups at night see if this at least helps her not peeing on things maybe she be embarrassed and stop. Maybe she will grow out of it that’s what I’ve been hoping with my boy.
Perhaps a mental health professional could help. Have a friend who’s daughter was being sexually abused by a older sibling. They found out it had been going on as long as the little girl could remember!
Might not be this specifically but something you’re not aware of is happening if it’s not being caused by a medical issue.
This could be a sign of diabetes. She may need to be tested. Also speaking with a psychologist might not be a bad idea like others have suggested. Good luck and hang in there momma.
Some people will wet the bed almost up until High School. Sometimes yes it’s totally normal but also sometimes it’s related to some form of abuse. I’m obviously not blaming or accusing anyone of abusing, but sometimes we don’t realize our kids are being abused because they hide it so well because they’re terrified of anyone finding out.
She might be cold during the night. Try flannel sheets. As far as the day accidents go, she might be too distracted playing that she doesn’t realize she has to go until it’s too late. I personally don’t think she’s doing it intentionally. Punishing her is not going to help the matter it might make it worse.
Are there neural issues? Our daughter potty trained and we found she had an Arnold Chianti malformation. It affected her nerves to the bladder/bowels. Surgery fixed the Chianti and then we were able to retract bathroom issues.
Its gonna be tiring but you need to stay on top of her and have her go to the restroom every hour or so. Even of she says she doesn’t have to just have her sit and try. First thing in the morning and before bed. Also, don’t give any liquids 1 hour before bedtime.
Honestly its costly, but I’d put her butt in pull ups all day and night. And I wouldn’t allow her on her sisters things. Not fair to them.
Rules are important too.
Stay off your siblings things.
Clean up yourself.
Clean up your messes.
Make her do her own laundry
Some kids don’t see the problem until they’re 100% responsible for the action.
My daughter wore pull ups to bed till she was 9. Her dr said it was completely normal for girls. I wouldn’t worry about the night time issue but definitely get things checked about the daytime.
My daughter is exactly the same way! If u ever need someone to talk to, bounce ideas off of, or even just vent! Don’t hesitate to reach out.
My daughters issues started at 4. She was completely potty trained before that. We have seen countless drs and specialists and completed post tibial nerve stimulation which helped some but for school and daycare she actually uses panty liners to help with “accidents”. Our case took about 3 years of constantly pushing drs to get to where we are as most were quick to dismiss her problems and eventually over time it has gotten better. I know exactly how u and ur household feel!
My daughter was diagnosed with a spastic bladder. Her bladder would spasm and leak urine. She had no control over it and most times wouldn’t even know. Not sure if this could be an issue for your daughter. My daughter also wore nighttime pull-ups until around age 8. She went to K and 1st grade with extra clothes and her teachers were great about letting her keep her extra clothes near the bathroom(thankfully she had a bathroom in her classroom in both grades). Her bladder just matured and hopefully the same will be true for your daughter.
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Put pull ups on her and reward her for her good traits. She will out grow it in time…
Depends or diapers for children her size is a MUST NOW, no panties or underwear, for the simple reason of wet clothes, furniture, smell and just plain heigene. Leave her alone with no more nagging. Enrolled her in some type of sports with other children. Do not allow her to quit when she cry or have a fit. Socialize with other kids, outside of family will help greatly. If she never gets potty trained, no big deal,the stores or a medical supply always sell pull up underwear for all sizes and you can never tell someone is wearing them either.
It sounds like she is constipated if the doctor is recommending a stool softener. I would listen to her doctor and try it for the time recommended and see if it helps. Weeks at a time is not what the doctor asked you to do! My 8 year old has accidents when he has not pooped in a while.
I was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes at the age of 8, for ease of mind I would have her tested. You can order a test from the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, you do have to pay for it, or if you want to go through her doctor then you can do that as well. I hope you find answers.
My daughter had several UTI’s however, it was because she was going to the bathroom and her urine would back into her system. Her urethra flap would close in the middle of her going to the bathroom. Which would cause the urine to back up in her system. She had to have biofeedback therapy. Which retrained her muscles to go to the bathroom and release the urine. They said it could cause her just to expel urine with no warning if she didn’t do the therapy… good luck with it
Omg i feel this. My step daughter is the same way she will go for awhile to get a reward then she stops when sge gets what she wants.
Try with holding fluids a couple hours before bed time. Also I would be setting an alarm and wake up to get her out of bed once a night to go potty. I’m sure she won’t like that! Also make sure she’s going right before bed! Also make her wear a pull up I’m sure she won’t like that either
You are doing everything you can mama!
Don’t be so hard on yourself as every child is different. Miralax doesn’t work with everyone, yes you have to continuously drink liquid because it causes dehydration and kids will only drink so much liquids. With other kids it will go right through their system. Both happened in our household. Have you tried overnight pull ups? I also purchased an overnight potty training alarm from Amazon. That helped my daughter a lot! Just attaches to their pj’s but when the alarm goes off (in my case), I had to physically get my daughter up each time to go to the potty. Alarm didn’t wake her up.
My sister wet the bed until she was 14. Doctors told my dad that she was such a sound sleeper that she couldn’t tell that she had to go. They cut off liquid 2 hours before bed and she got woke up every 2 hours to go to the bathroom.
Night time accident are normal. My step daughter is almost 15 and she still wets
The bed at night. She is responsible for cleaning her sheets any morning she wakes up with the bed wet. Keep getting her to clean up her own mess. But wetting herself during the day is not normal and as someone suggested maybe a therapist is what’s needed and some tests for allergies and diabetes are good ones to rule out too! Good luck
My son is 9 years old and he still wets the bed at night. He also has accidents (no matter how often he goes) when he laughs really hard. He is scheduled to see a urologist the beginning of the year. His dr said the bed wetting can be normal for a few more years but the accidents when laughing really isn’t normal.
I would recommend looking for a dentist well versed in sleep disordered breathing. Bed wetting is a classic symptom.
Just buy her the pull ups and dont mention it. Dont damage her self-worth. Shes probably in a deep sleep when it happens. My son wore them for years and one day announced he didn’t need them anymore. The bladder has to mature.
Ask them to do a die test to send through her kidneys. I have the same problem as a child and I ended up having reflux and had to have dirt to correct it. Just a thought. Hope she gets better
My son had this problem at night…he tried so hard. Problem was he slept too sound. We purchased a wet alarm. At the first drop of liquid an alarm goes off on a watch they are wearing and light flashes. Enough to wake the dead! 2 weeks is all it took. Cost under 50.00. Best money ever spent.
My daughter was the same. Her bladder is very small even at 26. Her uroligist prescribed pills for at night till she was old enough to feel the urge n control it.
My now 22 year old had daytime accidents until age 8 and wore pull ups/adult diapers until she was 16. At age 5 the urologist put her on an antidepressant that did no good. At 16 I took her back to the same urologist and he gave her another pill that she took for a week and never had another issue. She had the issue of not completely emptying her bladder which we knew at 5. Also if you or her father were a bed wetter then she is 50% likely to have that issue. If anyone on either side had the issue it goes down to 25%. Also even if you do not believe there has been abuse it still would not hurt to have her see a therapist.
My parents got me an alarm when I was younger. It clips onto the underwear and when it senses liquid it goes off. I just wouldn’t wake up when I needed to go to the bathroom. That helped me a lot when I was little.
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My daughter did this. She was such a good girl learning to.ptty train but one time her grandma was too lazy to go with her and asked the little one to bring the potty to her several rooms away. No one had emptied the potty chair and she spilled pre throughout the house. The pointy training didn’t work anymore. She said she didn’t want to.pee her pants she couldn’t help it. We bought a pad that went in her bed that was attached to an alarm that woke her when she part. Within a month she was dry at night. She is 48 now.
When my sisters and I were younger my oldest sister would wet the bed. I don’t remember all the details but I do remember she was diagnosed with a reoccurring kidney infection. I hope things get better for your daughter 
I got utis when i was little turned out the tubes to my kidneys was too short and back washing… i grew out of it. Talk with your doctor, there can be a lot of reasons behind bed-wetting
My daughter needed her urthea tube stretched. The problem then went away. Hope this helps.
So my daughter was on a pill until she went thru puberty. I’m sorry I can’t remember the name (She’s 28 now) but I do remember the Dr saying there was some connection between the pill and it being something that would be naturally occurring in Her body when she went thru puberty. It might have been DDAVP
My son is 7 and still wets the bed every night. His doctor prescribed us desmopressin. May be something to discuss with your daughters pediatrician. The way ours explained it was there is a hormone that is supposed to kick in that triggers your body to know hey I gotta go during the night. In some kids it just doesn’t happen so you almost have to jump start it. So the medication helps to jump start that hormone.
For night time bed wetting, make sure she doesn’t drink too much liquid at dinner and before bed. That might help reduce it. Best of luck! Don’t feel as you’ve failed. You are doing the best you can!
I wet the bed until I was 8. Maybe instead of the reward / discipline just change the sheets and move on. Don’t make it a big deal. My mother never did. Try to limit her liquid intake before bed. Wake her up around 11 to have her use the bathroom. Also, maybe like others have suggested, have her go talk to someone to see if it’s not some other issue.
Don’t feel like a failure mama, sounds like you’ve checked off all the medical reasons and had her seen, after that it really is a matter of growing out of it… my oldest (15yrs old now) still had accidents at night up until 12/13 and by 10 my rule was don’t sit in wet clothes and wash ur own bedding… it’s not her fault but I still felt like she should be responsible to clean it up but that’s just my opinion so u do what u feel is best with regards to that… she stopped having actual daytime accidents around 5, but would hold it for so long she would end up just like peeing a little on her way to the bathroom, it was a lot of reminders all day long until that stopped around 8… hang in there mama and don’t beat yourself up!
I had this with my son potty trained at 1 1/2 not one issue then after his 4th bday it went down hill I tried everything under the sun, even to the point of upping his drinking time each week we got the the point to where after 4pm no drinks dinner 530 bathroom every 1hour sit till he went( this was age 7 and 8) I was told at 5 he was bipolar at age 7 ADHD at 8 schizophrenia months later he had offset anger issues and depression cause he would black out when mad or upset ( which when he wet self he get mad cause he felt bad or as if he wasn’t a good kid) at age 14 I was lost went to a doctor that was moving in a month out of state we did sleep test and she ran test on his brain she talked to him .about things and if it upset him his waves was off charts it was making him have frontal lobe seizures so we talked with him and it took a couple months but it stopped because he now knew a why how and what to do
It may be her way of trying to get attention or a cry for help. They say often times if a child is having potty issues it can be a sign of molestation or other abuse from somebody close.
My now 19 yo grandson was diagnosed at 12 with diabetes insipidus after having bedwetting during sleep since he was a little guy.
We only have one bathroom upstairs. My son is afraid to sleep in his bedroom upstairs so he sleeps on the couch. He never awakens to urinate. Hes also too afraid to go upstairs even if he did. Hes 8 years old and has to wear a pull up. During the day hes fine. I feel like I failed as well… as a mother. I dont know what to do anymore. I tried putting him back in his room and he just kept peeing his bed. He wouldn’t get up from the bed and use the bathroom. Even with the light on in both the bathroom and bedroom. I tried rewards…everything. youre not alone.
Ask your doctor about Tofranil. It works.
Tofranil is a tricyclic antidepressant used to treat symptoms of depression. This medicine is sometimes used to treat bed-wetting in children ages 6 and older.
My daughter was the same Constipation was mostly to blame. Weighted blanket helped a lotttt
My step daughter had a bit of a problem though not as consistent as youre having. We set a time where she could not have anything to drink after that point. It helped a little but didn’t solve the problem. Maybe its not a physical thing and more a mental thing. Just a suggestion.
Find the best urologist-
Have her shower- not bathe in tub- bathing can cause bladder infections. No drinks after 6
Plenty of water and cranberry juice to drink in the day
Hourly br breaks- including in school
Until you pin point the problem- and find out how it can be eliminated or helped- please don’t scold or humiliate her. She can’t help it.
She may have an anatomically small bladder-
An immature bladder
Or something else that is causing this problem for her
Put a pull up on her and say when she starts acting her age she can wear big girl panties again till then it’s diapers 
. Might embarrass her enough who knows but definitely check first if she is being abused in some way at school or otherwise.
My son did it until almost 9 and he literally did just stop all of the sudden. He was constipated, we did the limiting drinks after a certain time. Do you have her in pull ups or anything? I did and the doc said to stop.
Sometimes they do take a long time to get thriugh the night. Never shame or blame.
Please call my holistic internist. Dr. Justin Snider at ProHealth Center in Clinton 864-681-0555. Im sure they can help too.
So may I say something which you might think is strange. They say that sometimes kids wet the bed when they are afraid of their fathers. Something to look into.
My niece had mini seizures at night while sleeping didnt know she was having them made her pee the bed
So her bowels sound distended and she can’t feel that she has to poop. This sits on the bladder so the urine just comes out. You can mix miralax into food like spaghettios, Mac and cheese etc. add in a gentle laxative like senocot. Punishing her for a physical issue that she has no control of will backfire on you. Encourage encourage encourage. Make her sit on the potty to pee often. Don’t ask if she has to. Give her a tablet to watch while she sits on the potty to poop for 5 minutes and then be done. Remind her to do this three times a day. No liquids 2 hours before bed and make her pee before going to sleep. BTDT. Her colon needs time to shrink back to normal in order for her to feel that she has to go. She’s choosing to sit in dirty clothes to put off the embarrassment and punishment from you and her siblings.
I had same for years try stop giving any trye of orange drinks it worked for me i tryed everything
If its bowels I gave my son Activia yogurt with probiotics and it regulated him he was seeping from constipation for a few years. He is older now
Maybe the reason she stays in dirty, soiled clothes is because she knows you blame her and think she’s doing it on purpose when, it could be that her bladder is growing slower than the rest of her body or she may be diabetic! If she’s constipated & won’t take Miralax, change her diet and give her fiber gummies!
I went through this with 3 kids, never realized about fiber and lack of it. As adults only 1 uses fiber and what a difference since using it.
My granddaughter wet the bed til she was 7. We made her wear pull-ups and nothing to drink 2 hours before bed. She was a dead sleeper. She finally broke the habit when she was 9 and her bladder was mature enough to hold it thru the night. There is hope just hang in there and protect the furniture with pads and pull ups
My daughter was doing this a doctor dilated the urethra and it all stopped
It’s not uncommon for kids to wet the bed during the night until they’re 9. Put a nighttime underwear on her and don’t make a big deal about it. Cut drinks 2 hours before bedtime
I wet the bed until I was 8 and my son wet his bed until he was 7/8ish. I would say give it a little bit longer. She will get there. You are definitely NOT alone.
The miralax needs to be done regularly ! Mix it with juice or something . It will get her BM’s regulated . A lot of the time they are constipated and it makes them have bladder issues .
As a social worker who had a 17 y/o client doing this, has there been any trauma? Has anything major happen? Was she good before Covid hit?
Could be a control thing…have you taken her to a therapist? I wet the bed wayyy too long. Ultimately it was the only thing I felt I had control over in my life.
I knew a child with milk allergies that had that problem.
I think it might be kids sometimes sleep so deeply they don’t wake up when their body signals they need to go.
Have you had blood work completed to check for underlying issues? Type one diabetes? High blood sugars can cause bed wetting. May be good to rule it out. ADHD could also be an issue?
Constipation. Took mine 2 years to understand that the she must go poo at least once a day or the utis would keep happening.
You could try having her wear Good Nights, a type of pull on “diapers” for older kids
Maybe try a naturopath I have seen in other threads people talk about a mouth spray and a nose spray that can help with it.
I can say this I wet the bed until I was like 10 and it was because I would dream I was in a place where I had to walk through sand for miles to find a potty and when I would find one in my dream I would piss all over myself
Try not giving her anything to drink at least an hour to 1 1/2 hours prior to bedtime. You may stay up a little later than her bedtime… which is great. Before you laydown for the night wake her up and walk her to the bathroom. If your child happens to be one that’s not in school for now… during eLearning times… be sure to be a constant regular reminder to go before the start of each zoom time. It will get her in a time habit. The same before bedtime… during that 1 hour prior to bed make her go at least twice (the beginning of that hour and then just before she hops in bed. Then again like I said at least 2 hours later. You may have to wake up in the middle of the night to repeat. If this all isn’t working … then yes, you will need to have her see a doctor. Just be sure to go with her to be sure she takes care of business and not fake you out.
I was a bed wetter until I was 7 or 8 until my dad stopped my asthma steroids and I stopped immediately. The doctor didn’t even pick up on it. Is she on any medication that could cause it?
If she knows what she is doing and just st doesn’t care Make her start wearing diapers.
So my friend went through something like this. Apparently when the bladder has several UTI’s it gets “hairy” meaning it can not function properly. She had to have a catheder for a couple months to rest the bladder. Now all is fine. I would also do a simple diabetes check. The sexual abuse posts are alarming but valid as well
My sister did this we would have her try and use the bathroom before bed no drinks passed a certain time
This is my youngest. I found progress with cutting out all caffeine plus the already mentioned of limiting fluids 90mon before bed.
Does she take meds? You don’t have to answer but it could be medication
Secondary enuresis requires to be investigated by paediatric urology. In Glasgow RHC we have the PEACH unit.
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Is she constipated? I know it seems odd but if she is having problems with constipation or being impacted it can push on her bladder and cause accidents. I would try a stool softener for a few days and to see if that helps.
My daughter was dry at night from 8 years old
Hormone ddavp. Sposed to be for months but within 1 month. No more accidents…
Does she go to school? Does she have accidents there?
No caffeine ever, no milk or drinks after 7, wake her up at 2 am every night to go to the bathroom try this for a month, but I would still do no caffeine ever
Having an appendix that has a lingering infection(even if it isn’t noticeable enough to operate) has been known to aggravate the bladder and make someone wet the bed. They can stop wetting the bed when it becomes “hot” enough to remove.
Mine is 6 and has occasional accidents and wets the bed
Could she have a mild form of cerebal palsy
I peed my bed until I was almost 13. One day it stopped and never happened again.
Have her wear pull ups. Before going to bed.
I’m Asian. My daughter faced the same problems till age 9. We gave her chinese medicine. Maybe you can try Chinese sinseh if you would like. My daughter took twice the medicine and it works. Her bedwetting stopped after 2 days. She is 22 now.