I don’t have advice because we have a 30 + yr old son He was always like that. We had him in counseling and we tried taking things away. Nothing worked. He now and has for years calls us terrible names( mainly me) he has no respect for us and anything negative that happens to him is our fault. He has said things like I hope your house burns down with you in it. He has a daughter that we see regularly. He doesn’t have any contact with her and of course it my fault. Take extra caution in what ever way you find to help your son. I would hate for anyone else to go through what we have. We live our son and I miss him daily but we cannot be with him. He does text my husband ( his dad) weekly so at least I know he’s ok. But my husband gets all the bad names and threats now. Good luck
Say it, mean it, and follow through! If you don’t stop…I’m going to… then follow through! Do not threaten what you are not willing to do! Let the other children “go have fun” and Mr defiant has to stay home. when he asks why, it is because of your actions, and spell them out!
My first thought is that your middle child is seeking any kind of attention he can find. Even negative attention. Take him out for a treat/walk/something the next time he does something good. By himself…talk to him about what and why. Tell him we are all part of the family team, and everyone has a role to play. Then catch him doing good, and praise him. Grab him and love on him for no reason. He will come around. When he says he dislikes you, tell him that you can understand his feelings, but you will always love him.
Your question leads me to believe you’re very patient and kind with your kids but also that this has been ongoing and unchecked for some time based on his age. No shade and no judgement, just my opinion. I know I could be wrong, tho.
He may need some one on one time and attention from you and when you do that, use that opportunity to let him know his behavior is unacceptable and you won’t go for it anymore. Set your expectations and consequences for him going forward and, this is the big part, STICK TO THEM no matter what. For instance… following the guidelines will grant you tv time, phone time, special treat, etc. Not following the guidelines will result in the less tv time, phone time, no treats, etc. Don’t just let it slide. Stay with it and make sure dad is on board too so y’all can present a united front. Best to nip it in the bud now because you don’t want the world to check his attitude for him when he becomes an adult. They won’t do it with love like you would. God bless. Hope it gets better for y’all.
Get a bucket and pile of rocks. He fills the bucket. Drags it few feet. Dunmp/repeat. Daily till he stops arguing. Can’t come in house till he does it for 2 hours. He will get tired b4 you do.
U need to get him to tell how he feels and why he behaves the way he does u got to ask not demand spanking taking away stuff and punishment would only make it worse get the reason why he behaves this way some one on one time and more attention might be all he needs to change his attitude
Time to take away all his toys and electronics the whole nine yards guaranteed that might help change his whole attitude if it doesn’t keep all that stuff away from us until he does my younger sister was like that every time she did something wrong and she refused a mother would take away everything and keep it away until further notice when her attitude to have changed that she gave her piece at a time of stuff so she was able to have it all completely back and it took my mom six years to get her corrected but each child is
When mine started getting that way i would just start to not do things he asked for like when he said he wanted a snack i justed wouldnt do it for him or the others and when they complain i would say well i always have to do it why cant you i uave xyz to do im to busy it stopped real wuick
If he disrespects his parents, refuses to listen or behave, there has to be consequences, otherwise the children who are respectful may become resentful, and also act out.
Take things away, for a decided time frame. Things he enjoys.
Find out
Why he is being rude.I don’t hit. Don’t yell. Spend time with him and show love. This time can be precious
Mam ,none of my business and far be it from me to abuse a child …,but you got to take this young man under control.Spank his behind or you are goiñg to have one of those kids that was doing all that looting ,burning and killing.Good luck to you and I will pray that our Heavenly Father gives you and your husband guidance in taming this little darling.Above all you and the dad need to work together on this.
Needs to learn respect. Patience, kindness. How to calmly talk out his frustrations and to obey. If it isn’t curved now, he will struggle & argue with bosses at jobs. Practice.
Attitude vs video games. Find his “currency” if he argues, he looses a privilege. If he disrespects you, looses privilege. You and his Dad need to be on the same page. It gets easier when there’s more to lose, car keys, cell phone, etc!
Okay I will say this and I know backlash is going to happen. But good old fashion butt warming is in older here. If you read the Bible it says spoil the child and spare the rod. In other words it won’t hurt any child to get his or her backside warmed. We all had ours done when we growed up. It shows the child to respect you as parents and to respect others as well. If you do not install values and boundaries as the child gets older it’s going to get worse.
First off, I raised 6 children and the bottom line is you are not here to be their friend—you are their parent. To parent means to teach. Disrespectful behavior was not tolerated in our house. Children are being taught via TV and other influences that they are equal to their parents—wrong!! Consequences for bad behavior include losing privileges, being grounded, etc. We very rarely used physical punishment but if they were totally out of control they met Mr. Wooden Spoon. Give them positive reinforcement for good behavior. It just winds me up when I see parents cowering before their little tyrants. Be an adult—there will be plenty of times to be their friend when they are grown up if you raise them right.
I’m more against spanking the older I get. I never really just spanked my son but I did swat his little but a few times ( once) or his little hand. But I’m totally against it now, it just breaks their spirit/or humiliates them. That’s not a lesson. I think I would start with a chore list for all the boys. No allowance if they don’t do their chores. If the other two are making their money but the arguer isn’t maybe he’ll wake up. You don’t need to argue about it. Just post the sign and walk away after you’ve explained it. Try not to engage with him. My advice is to try and get this under control soon because after they become teenagers it’s that much harder.
There is a thin line between opinions and disrespect. Sounds like dad needs to stand behind you and teach him that he crossed the line. Take away all of his pleasure, teach him now or pay for his lawyers later.
Take away privileges. Computer time. Tv time cell phones, game systems, toys he loves. Do not give them back until he learns to respect you.
Don’t argue just TELL him until he does as you say, no computer games,no toy, take everything away until he does what you TOLD him to do! And stick to your word! Put him in his room close the door and walk away! When he sees you mean what you say,he’ll come around.
It would have been the last time I told her no…time out? lol. Take away something they really like or enjoy doing (games, going to a friends, having friends over etc). Actions deserve consequences!!! Stand up for yourself otherwise it will get worse. Total lack of respect! Make him do extra chores (dishes, sweeping etc) and he is not going anywhere till it is done). Nasty bar of soap works! I am really not religious but make him write the 4th commandment (or all of them) 10 times and legible.
I finally cracked and told mine that was acting similar this is after all other options were explored and told him we can’t keep this going and we weren’t getting out of the car till we got to the bottom of everything long and behold he just needed mommy and is still unsure how to bring to my attention certain problems and it turns out he was being bullied at school
Sounds like he needs to feel your hand meet his butt! A good swat in the butt never hurt any kid! Look around at a lot of the kids today and you will see how well time outs work! Taking things away doesn’t do it either!
Your son sounds a lot like my daughter. I would get him checked for ODD(oppositional defiant disorder). And before anyone suggests that I am telling you this for you to medicate your son. A good facility won’t prescribe meds for ODD. Instead they should suggest individual and family counseling to teach coping skills and strategies to handle the behaviors.
You need to be firm AND consistent with him. Also, give him two choices when you want him to do something (one is so ridiculous/horrible he would never pick it and one is what you want him to do). Don’t allow him to make the choices on the outcome and make the punishment fit the crime. Good luck!
You’ve already lost the argument if you’re arguing with a child. Tell him or ask him only once. If he knows the rules and the consequences of his actions then follow through. I’ve had three children, 25 foster children, 7 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren and I’m a retired teacher/Family & Community Coordinator. Working with children and being educated on how to deal with them is a forever education.
I wonder when this behavior began…it it recent? Has there been a change in your home life: move, job change, different school or after school care, an illness, loss of a family member, arguments? Is he being bullied at school? On the bus? By his older brother?
Has he been given responsibility he is unprepared for? Is the youngest “perfectly charming” and comparatively he feels he cannot compete? Does he feel left out? Is he acting out at school, in other social settings?
Is he defiant or acting out?
I look back at a time in my young life when there was much chaos; the only way I knew to have a measure of control in that time was by refusing to engage.
NO excuse for poor manners, disrespect.
Clear expectations and boundaries matter, of course, but could he be crying for help?
Nothing like a,wooden spoon. Worked on my kids and they survived. Spare the rod spoil the child.
I agree, don’t argue with a kid. You’re the adult. You and husband need a united front. Firm and loving. You and husband need to sit him down and take charge. Tell him that you love him and it’s your job to teach him to be a respectful, responsible adult, able to control himself and able to take care of himself. Tell him your expectations and the consequences. Next time he acts up, strip his room and person of all electronics and toys and the door. You are required to feed, clothe, and educate. Everything else is an earned privilege. You know what he likes. That’s what he has to earn back. If you don’t take control, he and your other boys will get worse. Why should they behave when they don’t have to and they will have problems at school too.
First don’t get in an argument with him secondly promise to take something and the first time he does it do it he will get it
Pop him once. That is all it took for me with my girls. I have only had to pop my girls one time and have had no other problems with them and they are 22 and 17 now.
Are you one of those parents that don’t spank your child well guess what try just a little whack on the behind he is well padded I never beat my children but they used to get smack on the behind and believe me they don’t disrespect me and they don’t talk back to me they know better my parents brought me up that way too and I wasn’t abused
Kids are going to test the rules. You are the parents. Set boundaries, set consequences, and be consistent.
A child needs to follow rules.
Might need to have a complete physical and mental evaluation done to rule out medical issues.
It is a parents responsibility to teach a child the rules of society.
It’s a little late for spankings…is there sibling rivalry going on? Inadvertent favoring of one over the others? Trouble socializing - due to NO school (pandemic). It could be he is looking for some kind of attention? It looks like maybe he is taking out his problems on you? Maybe some alone time with you and his Dad?
He is looking for attention, negative! Tell him, he is growing up and living in a home where the adults, the mom and dad are the decision makers! If he honestly doesn’t understand you, quickly explain! If he constantly questions your decision making, " It’s because I said so and some respect is a must if you plan on staying here, just like school! You have a roof over your head, food, protection, and all the things that come with appreciation & love. When you are older and wiser, you will be the provider some day and will want to have respect yourself! So you must live by theses rules if in turn, you want others to do the same to you! Accept our judgements or there will be consequences!
Give him a warning of , if you don’t stop talking back and disrespecting me there’s going to consequences…lay down those consequences before hand and when he does it give him the consequences…examples I would have are. Extra chores added on top of what was already asked. Taking electronical devices away. Stick to what you said and soon enough he will start to figure out that you can’t treat you or anyone else like that. Disaplen is a very important part of being a parent. Showing consequences for actions and consistency are key…so many have gone from traditional patenting to this new free will thing which is destroying generations.
Give him a “small” allowance for helping without questioning. If that does not help, do it yourself, or have the 9 year old do it. Then buy a treat for the doer and the 4 year old only.
Lmao all these old folks saying it’s your kid’s fault. Maybe you need to see why he is acting like that, do you treat him differently from your other kids? Also, have you tried to explain things to him and let him understand the situation and gravity around it? He must have something back of his head that thinks you guys are not protecting him or being feel like his taken care of. It’s not easy job being a parent, dont try to just wing it. If you truly care, go pick up a book or take parenting class. All these older folks talking about straight up punishing him, which might not be the wisest option if you are already having bad relationship with your son. Figure out what the real issue here is and try to fix it like real adult should (I am not saying discipline is bad, if it’s needed than it must be used, but at the same time if your child didn’t actually deserve that discipline. He will only get more bitter) if you are also financially stable, go see an therapist. No one can be perfect parent, it’s okay to get some professional help if you are in need of help.
He is too young to talk back. You are at a point where you and the dad need to be forcefull and strict. It may be too late. You should have laid down the law when he was 4 or 5. Now there are consequences. No really does mean no. Don’t give in. Tell him to do it and force him if he doesn’t. Remove all of his toys, from his room. As he does his chores add one back. If he doesn’t then be strict. Stay in your room until…my dad always said you live under my house and eat my biscuits, you follow our rules…
Parenting is never easy and each child reacts differently to discipline. Looks like you’re getting lots of advice so I won’t add to that. Just know that we have all gone thru this and understand your frustration. As a middle child, I always felt left out. Maybe a little one on one time would be a good thing. Good luck mom. Hang in there.
Strip his bedroom.leave him 2 outfits take phone.computer.hide it all.tell him he lives in your house.your house your rules.keep it from him for 1.3.months until he changes his behavior.and apologizes to you .i did this.my son threw a fit.then he refused to speak to me for 2 months.he apologized.and it changed his life.for the better.no sports.no tv.it won’t be easy.if you don’t get a hold of him now just imagine the teen he will be.
good luck
When I grew up, there was the “Fear Facter” in my house. I feared the consequences of acting out, therefore I didn’t act out. I was told no and if I didnt mind, I was told what would happen and I believed them.
When he starts, don’t respond and walk away, do not engage. He is the kid and has no control, you are the control. If you’re not there he can’t argue. When you reappear, tell him “ if you want to talk to me, let’s sit down”, if he try’s to argue, walk away…consistency is needed.
Discipline bad behavior whatever one works and if he doesn’t like or love you today just say son I love you anyway. He’ll love you tomorrow.
I always told my children I am not your friend I am your mom, also if you liked me all the time I was not doing my job right. The parent child relationship is not a democracy. Discussion was allowed but outright disrespect and defiance was never tolerated. I never threatened if I said something would happen if they did the two items above it would happen. Also they did not deal with corporal punishment.
For all the people suggesting spanking a child know that children are quite knowledgeable today. They know they have the power for you to get in a lot of trouble for spanking them. Teachers, social workers, nurses and many others are mandatory reporters. This means if your child tells them you hit him they must report it to CPS. CPS will investigate. Depending on what they find you might be charged with abuse, made to attend parenting or anger management classes, go to therapy or even have your children removed from your care–all of them not just the one giving you trouble. The days when you could paddle your kids’ butts are long gone. Find other ways of disciplining your kids.
Find unusual ways to punish him. I once made my son line up pencils end to end at school, rake leaves on a windy day. It made a difference very quick. Show him whose the boss.
Provide consequences for his behaviour…take him out of the Garden of Eden…i.e. his privileges and something important to him…like electronics or toys…Trust me…it works! And don’t give in when he reacts!
I remember that saying too. Spare the rod spoil the child. I thought it meant stern discipline. But I was wrong. The rod was not a stick. The rod is Jesus. With out the gift of knowing him, then we are spoiled. We need to teach and receive him to know about the peace and joy that His love brings.
Read a book
I’m the middle child Understanding where he comes from , will
Help you be able to relate to him . Articles about.Middle child syndrome on line .
Counseling may be helpful .
I tried everything, and I mean everything. Your child may like to munipulate you. My youngest son had a audio processing problem when he was in grade school. He could change up his behavior to be anything. But giving him the choice to chose the outcome helped. I do recommend that you all participate Dad has to be on board. Also I had to write it down so he could not get away with it.
Take things he loves away and stick by it. Make the time longer that they lose the privilege/item for each time it happens. Then make them apologize in front of everyone for how they talked to you. Never let your kids talk rude to you. It sets a precedence that it’s ok and you’re not to be respected.
It’s pretty easy , just smack him upside the head a couple times until he starts to realize who makes the F’ing rules…
it is middle child syndrome sounds weird but to special things just with him he is most likely feeling ignored and only gets your attention by being definite
In my younger day he would be going the right way for a smack bottom. That took care of that oppositional defiant behavior.
He’s a middle child don’t argue with him but see if he can get a little attention. Older kids get more grown up attention to their age while the younger is the baby. He doesn’t agree give him a little time with you for himself.
I always said," I don’t argue with children. I am your mother not your friend." I had a husband who backed up whatever I decided was best. Our children did not argue. They may have wanted to, but it takes two people to argue.
Our responsibility as parents is to teach children how to grow into responsible considered adults it is never to early for him to know that he needs to respect the rights and feelings of others if he does not learn this he may be in for a lonely life
No therapy, give him a choice…a good talking to or a spanking… this child believes he is entitled and he needs to be straightened out by a firm loving parent(s). No side step or soft shoe. You are the parent, act like it.
If you do nothing right make him do things himself, fix dinner( he’s old enough to fix sandwiches), take care of school stuff, everything that he can, make him do. When he argues, walk away. Take away things you paid for. Electronics for school only, no tv in his room.
Tell him you argue, you do for yourself. I’m mean, you lise what I bought you. You don’t do chores, you lose electronics that the family pays for. Family members don’t argue, do chores & uplift each other. You don’t want to do those things, then you lose those things.
Make a point of going out with other kids, who did do what was asked, leaving him at home with a sitter. Make sure when he does what’s asked you make an effort to include him in a fun family out. Make being part of the family. Not being part is bad.
If he refuses to do what he is asked take something he values taken away from him Everytime and make him earn it back. If he can say no so can you so be the Adult. 
if you don’t get a handle on it while he’s young he’s going to be out of hand by the time he’s a teenager and then you really won’t know what to do with him 
It’s called Boundaries & Respect
He is way too old for a spanking to do any good except make him resent you, or harm another person.
Have you taken him away by himself & asked him why he argues? Listen to what he says. Tell him you don’t care for that & want to know how the two of you can change. If this doesn’t work, please get counseling for you both. His hostilities will come out someway someday. Better to help yourselves now.
Show or tell him all the things you do for him that he doesn’t appreciate! Appreciate what he does do! Let him understand others have things to do also! Everyone has different chores, but all are important! Let him know how you appreciate his good points and how they make your home a better place! Be careful about the negative remarks! A middle child may be trying to find his place! Show your love toward him without comparing to his brothers! When he needs discipline, make sure it’s not for who he is, but because he has broken a rule! Help him understand he is loved, but he is in a family and discipline is part of it for everyone. When he talks, listen beyond the words but see his feeling! You & your husband have a lot of work ahead!
Middle children often feel left out. Maybe it’s for attention. Maybe he is your gifted child.
Children seek attention and it doesn’t matter if it’s negative or positive. The key is to ignore the negative and reward the positive. One way is to use a point chart. You can use a simple version with stars and checks. Everything is earned like tv , computer etc. Everything takes a certain amount of points. When he talks back, say nothing and give a check. If he does what you ask he gets a star. It may take two or three stars to get rid of a check. It’s great to give praise when a child gets a star.It’s an effective system. Kids grasp it quickly and as long as you are consistent they will be working for stars to trade for play time , tv time etc. Remember everything can earn a check or star. Brushing teeth, picking up toys, getting dressed.
Don’t do anything for him. No cooking cleaning laundry. Tell you didn’t want to your mean why don’t you do it. And don’t give in. It worked for me
In my day we got our butt busted… they need to know boundaries. And arguing with mom and dad is not something he can or should get away with… ill never forget our preacher was in middle of sermon. His 2 sons front row…and mom out sick… they started acting up preacher still preaching would snap his fingers. …well one of em snapped his fingers back at his day…whole time he’s still preacher and walked down busted both their butts and they both sat there quietly and didn’t act up in church anymore. He never missed a word.
Sounds like middle child. Use clear and consist wording like when then statements. Example: when you pick up your toys then you can watch tv. There is no arguing with him. Its like negative attention is better than no attention from a kids perspective. When my son said he hated me i looked at him and said i love you son and walked away. I just had decided i was not going to indulge in HIS behavior.
Sometimes talking or taking things away doesn’t faze a child. I’ve been there. Sometimes children don’t fear how we are allowed to punish or correct them. If you do a reward system, sometimes it teaches them that they are tob airways expect something in return for good behavior and they won’t do it just because it’s the right thing, but only for the reward. They get the mentality of, “what’s in it for me, if I do as I’m told?” It’s tricky because our hands are tied due to the government and society undermining our parenting.
My 2&3 yo granddaughters lives with us. When they start back talking and not listening, boy let me tell you what, their dad is on them so quick, no spanking needed, in timeout in a chair they go. Those 2-3 minutes are the longest for them. Parents have to start when their kids are young or you’re going to have a problem. If the child has a problem such as being bipolar or something else than yes it’s very hard, no matter what a parent does. My grand daughters even at their young age try to use me against their parents lol. Seriously their parents will say no and they come to me and ask, I’ll say what did mommy and daddy say? They down their little head and walk away. Kids really try us sometimes.
Sounds like middle child syndrome but I’m guessing. Mine did the same thing. Firm but loving discipline. Sometimes the middle one will test you to your limits. Don’t give in. They know what buttons to push.
Turn it on them. It’s their choice to not do as asked. But with choices come consequences. If he chooses not to clean his room- this is the consequence (no electronics until it’s done, and done correctly for example). It’s all about choice. If he chooses to disrespect you, there is a consequence. They can’t blame you if it’s their choice.
I made a chart of choices and consequences, which we added to as he got older and the “crimes” changed. But it’s cut & dry at that point. It teaches them a lot about real life. Our entire adulthood is about choices. And consequences. 
raise kids ready for the real world. They will thank you when they’re 30.
Do not argue momma. You are the adult and HE is the child. Wait till y’all are calm and sit him down and explain that he’s not old enough to tell you what he is going to do. Explain to him that if he doesn’t do as he is asked the first time this (insert here) WILL happen and continue until he does what he is supposed to do without grief. Now said punishments could be:
Little to no tv,
No visits with friends,
Spankings,
Favorite toys/ items taken away
Limit/ refuse favorite snacks like candy chips etc and replace those with an apple or plain crackers etc.
Deduct from allowance.
Or try all the above until it clicks in his 8 year old brain that mom works hard to offer him certain luxury’s and that she does not need his disrespect. Yes listen to his emotions and validate him but you don’t have to let him run you over. Like I said I’d have a sit down with him and listen to him but also make it clear that your the adult and you have the final say so. You go momma best of luck 
There are lots of articles online about middle child syndrome. I was a middle child. I have a middle child. Believe me, it’s real. They feel they have to be different because they dont have an identity, etc. There is a way to handle that particular child for a smoother household. Good luck!!
Might I suggest reading a little book called: Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, By Dr. Kevin Leman. It is all about loving ways to make your children responsible for their bad behavior. Being consistent in what ever tactics you decide on and both parents, grandparents, sitters ect. presenting a united front at all times is necessary. I found the basis of this book very helpful but I did have to use different tactics on each of my children.
As a mom who’s raised two sons now 34 and 42 it’s important that you rail him in now. If he’s acting this way at the young age of 8 I can’t imagine how he’ll be when he’s a teenager. You might want to consider family counseling. My oldest was hard to handle when he was younger. His brother was a model child until he hit his teen years. They were complete opposites.
When he asks you to do something, say no I don’t want to and walk away. I have learnt kids that hate you when their little, with thank you later, but be there friend and they will hate you later. Give consequences and stick too it.
Sit him down with you and your husband need to let him know that his behaviour is unacceptable and you will not tolerate his rudeness or his behaviour and if he crosses that fine line again there will be serious consequences you may need to remind him a few times of your conversation with him to get him to stop and unfortunately it will not happen overnight so you will have to be patient but if you and your husband stick to your guns results will happen , Good luck 
The middle child has adjustments to make, particularly as he is a boy and he has two brothers…one old that possibly assumes a “leadership” role, and one younger that may cause him to feel displaced (after being the “baby” for 4 years.) A couple of visits with a child psychologist may be in order to give him a “safe” place to vent, and give you some guidance as to how to deal with him.
Spanking was how our parents made us do as we were told. Nowadays, parents do not make their children do as they are told. God help them learn that will have to do for theirself when they get older and by theirself.
I’d say sit him down and explain what is expected of him
And if he doesn’t want to follow what is expected then tell him he has consequences to his actions and start punishment that way. I’m not saying spankings I’m saying whatever works, take things away, stand in a corner, time out. Make him do chores whether he wants to or not
No reward his bad behavior , get respect back before it’s gone for good . Do pick your battles but don’t let him talk to you like that . Take things away that he likes then he can earn them back . Stick to your guns . You say No and walk away .
Creating a token economy can help but you would have to do with all 3 to be fair. Privileges must be earned. You create a chore chart, behavior goals chart. There is a reward for doing and a consequence for not doing. It could be something like if you get up first time you are told all week for school you get to stay up an hour late on Friday or Saturday night. If you don’t get up on time the consquence is you get no TV watching that day. You have to be very structured and always follow thru. If you engage in negotiations or let them have a reward they don’t earn it won’t work.
Maybe obstinance defiance disorder. I have a cousin who’s son was diagnosed with this disorder. It was very much like you are saying. As an adult now he is fine. Maybe ask school staff about it.
If he tells you how mean you are, don’t try to prove how nice you are…within reason , of course , show him what mean really is…and for bad mouthing…put some dawn Dishwashing soap on his toothbrush and make him scrub that mouth out…
It’s called being an adult. Take away everything and both you and husband together explain he will only get things back once his behavior and attitude change. My mom and dad would have had my hide…
He’s only 8 and telling you about what he’s not going to do?! If he’s doing that now, he’s just going to get worse when he’s a teenager plus he’ll be bigger and stronger. Not a good combo, I never had my children talk to me like that. I would never have allowed it, my son is 35 years old, even now I can call him and say I need help with something and he says pick me up I’ll take care of it or I’ll get him on his off day and he’ll do what I need done. You need to get a handle on his behavior. Like other people said, take away his things and let him earn them back. Everytime he does wrong take something else that he loves. Sometimes a good old fashioned swat to the behind will work, I’m not saying beat him but a swat or two will definitely get his attention.
So what your vthr parent and you’ll do what I say as long as u live in my house!! There will be no talking back to me!!
Start spanking and be consistent in how you administer discipline. Your the parents, he’s the kid you are in charge, not him. If he doesn’t listen, spankings, timeout, privilege or favorite toys taken away etc.
My parents raised 15 rascals…8 boys, 7 girls. They ran a tight ship…taught us to respect them and our elders including our older siblings depending where you fell in line. Talk back to our parents? Are you kidding me?! Their version of “time out” was a butt whoppin! We all grew up to become responsible, respectful, hard working adults and to this day we still follow by the rules they taught us! Our psyche wasn’t messed up by it either!
Parents today want to be their kids friend! That’s been proven it doesn’t work. Be the parent already otherwise you’re creating a little monster that’ll grow up to be a messed up disrespectful, rude, entitled adult!
So don’t speak to him unless he ask a question tell me he can do it himself and buy no specials or treats he’ll see how mean you are when you do an give to those who do what their asked with out any hassles. Best of luck you need to nip it in the bud now or he’s going to walk all over you
My daughter has a 10 and 4 year boys and they do the same . But she tells them are you making a green choice or a red choice of course green is good and red is not and she takes away the phone , tablet and the games completely out of the room . And she sticks to it for a month or so unless they keep making red choices
If you don’t punish him for the way he speaks to you , he will continue with it. Also maybe take him to a therapist to see what is going on that he is acting this way. You can also try talking to him, just you & him.
Bust his tail a time or two. He will learn who the adult is and you are the boss. Not abuse , spanking. Thats whats wrong with the world today , too many parents have let stuff like this slide or think a time out will work. It works on some kids maybe but not all. Some still need their rear ends popped real good.
It takes two to argue…Stop arguing with him. Tell him one time. If he dont do whatever you ask him to do then he dont eat until he does it. Or he dont get to go wherever he wants to go until it’s done. Really? Who’s runningvyour house? You or this 8 year old? Tell him one time and done argue with him. If you dont you will be sorry when he gets 14 or 15 and dont listen to you. You need to stop this behavior now.
Does he share a bedroom with a brother? If he doesn’t then I would go into his room and remove everything except his bed and bedding. Take all of his toys and lock them away. He would only be allowed out of his room to go to school and to eat. Otherwise, he would spend time alone in his room until he can learn to be respectful. After he learns some respect, then he can start earning his belongings back by doing chores. If, after he has spent several weeks to several months in his room, he is still being disrespectful then it’s time for a good old fashion ass beating.
If his other siblings see him getting away with this type of behavior, they might start acting to same way. Have to nip it in the bud now.
Sounds like classic middle child syndrome to me. Reverse psychology is good and a good spanking even better.
Then he doesnt get privileges until he starts listening. Unless needed for school change passwords to everything. Rolling pw would be better
Wash his mouth out with soap!! Tell him what to do n what will happen if he doesn’t and STICK TO YOUR WORD! You are the parent!
Start taking things away and tell him it’s your electricity start feeding him bread and water and no going out or watching TV explain to him that when he changes his attitude you will think about giving stuff back but put your feet in cement and DONT give in once you give in he wins
I have a grown son that had “issue” because his dad and I got divorced and I adopted my neice that was older than him without his permission (counselors words)
I did all the picking battles and talking and making time for him. He learned to manipulate it. Every time he got into trouble he said he was sad. I listened because counselors where smarter than me. Now my son is 30 been in and out of jail since 17 and still tries to manipulate because ei made him into a narcissist
If you won’t spank him , take his treasures away - whether it’s toys , phone - whatever . Do not give in to him ! Explain to him what behavior you expect from him and let him know that you are the parent and you know what’s best for him . Get a hold of bad behavior now . Also ask him why he tells you your rude and why he doesn’t like you . Listen to him before you punish . Set good examples and treat all your sons the same .