Hi mommies, can I have some advice, please? My daughter is eight years old and is still wetting the bed on a night time. She’s told me she couldn’t be bothered to go to the toilet on a night time, and I’ve tried and tried to resolve this issue, but I’ve no idea what to do now. Please no bashing I’ve run out of options, and I genuinely don’t know what to do! I’ve talked to her and done all the usual stuff (the same as I’m doing with my four year old at the moment) and it’s just not working! Please help x
Does she wake up and just not feel like going? Or does she sleep through and not even realize. If she sleeps through, more than likely she will grow out of it. If she just doesn’t feel like getting up, then I don’t have much advice. I’d assume either punishment, or reward system.
When I was younger I had the same issue bc I had a small bladder I think. I had to take meds before bed and I had to limit my liquid intake. I think nothing 2 hours before bed. Is she not waking up or just doesn’t want to get out of bed?
I had that problem till I was 13…they finally when in and stretched the opening to my bladder…haven’t had a problem since…you might want to have her checked by her doctor…I had kidney trouble to…
My daughter grew out of it at age 7. If her excuse is that she doesn’t want to get up, it’s behavioral and will only be resolved with a consequence that she doesn’t like.
My son had the same issue I tried everything even waking him up in the middle of the night. He out grew the problem when he was 10
Have you taken n her to a urologist? If not try that and make sure there’s not another issue. Prayers it gets better
Limit her fluid intake a few hours before bed make her potty before bed use the good nites pull ups till it resolves
Have you tried a potty chart. I realize she’s 8 but I have 9,7,7,5&3 and they all
Create a chart and a reward chart… start slow, so do it weekly basis for a little while. If she gets 1 Star a week she gets a special treat, if she gets 3 stars she can stay up 15 minutes later, if she gets 5 stars, she gets a movie night with mom and dad and she chooses the movie no matter what lol, 7 stars she’s gets $5 and can go to five below to buy whatever she wants
This way there is a reward for her to stay dry. Do this for a bit and she will learn.
Now if it’s a she can’t control it then I would say talk to her pediatrician. Good Luck mama Your doing a great job!
If my child said it was because they basically don’t feel like it then I think I’d discipline them. If this is anxiety or some other issue then of course not but if they’re just telling you they don’t feel like going but what’s the difference between night and day time if the accident only happens at night? Is there lights left on maybe scared of the dark? Try nite time pull ups for big kids maybe she won’t like the wetness in her diaper so she’ll get up to change it and eventually go to the bathroom. Does she wake you up when this happens or sleep through?
You could also get her up in the middle of the night and take her to potty
Limit her fluids just put her in pull ups. She will decide herself.
My daughter was lazy and rather pee her pants then go to a bathroom. I would watch her liquid intake . make her pee before bed. And I would spend a night or two checking in on her every few hours see the time line of her wetting the bed so them I know to wake her up for a pre break around this time. It’s so hard to get them out if this. It took me a long time and lots if fighting as she will be home awake and pee her pants as the tv was to. Important or even at school. My mom thought it was medical I know damn well it was laziness
My son was a bed wetter until he was around 9. The only thing that worked for him was to have him go pee every hour starting 3-4 hours before bedtime. After he had been asleep for an hour or so I would basically have to carry him to the bathroom & stand him in front of the toilet. We did this for about a month & he never wet the bed again.
This was the advice of his doctor. You should talk to her if you haven’t already.
Talk to doctor for sure about this.
IMO you should wake her up in the middle of the night & make her get up and go to the bathroom every night until she started doing it on her own. You should also talk to her pediatrician and see if there is anything else that could help resolve this issue (Ie counseling, medications, etc).
If it’s because she can’t be bothered rather than a medical issue then punish her for it! Make a point of saying it’s dirty and lazy, take away nice bedding and put plain on, no devices etc, whatever will get through to her the most
What is going on around her ? You didn’t say if her Dad is a part of the family. It is very unusual for a girl to bed a bed wetter at her age. Boys are more common.Is she trying to make herself unattractive for some reason. Molestation ?
She will eventually grow out of it.
Ive had to stop fluids for my son an hour before bed. He goes to the bathroom before getting into bed- he at least has to try peeing. And finally, when he does have an accident its up to him to clean it, from unmaking to laundry to remaking the bed. Its helped immensely.
If she CHOOSES not to use the bathroom, I’d make her change the sheets and do her own laundry. If it is legitimately outside her bodily control, Goodnites are great!
My son is 6.we took him to a urologist this month since hes been potty trained since age 2 and during napz but at night he sleeps so deep. He doesnt wake to alarms pr me getting him up. Dr said its very common and until the age of 8 they will not give meds which only produce more of the hormone that drys up at night. He says he has 16 year olds that still wet the bed and its very common. He explained that when ur little even as a baby when u pee instantly it sebds a shock to ur spine which then reacts n lets gp of ur urine which is instantaneous.as we get older our brain learns to intercept the signal and tell us to go pee but some kids take longer. I know its frustrating mine pees through pullups ment for 100 pound kids n hes only 56 pounds
My son has the same issue. I cut off drinks by 6. I didn’t trust him anymore and still used diapers. The doctor said that it’s because he was a very deep sleeper. I set an alarm for him and if it doesn’t wake him up, it wakes me up and I make him potty.
I also have a plastic cover on the bed. Good luck momma
My brother was almost 12 before he got out of pull ups at night. He had to be put on medication because he was such a heavy sleeper he couldn’t wake up to go.
Set an alarm a few times during the night… Maybe try pull ups.
My 12 year old still wets the bed, even with an adult diaper on. She says she’s too deep of a sleeper to get up and go and that she’s too lazy.
We are going through this. We have tried everything. Even medication. She’s just now starting to have more dry night because she’s finally sick of it. She turns 8 tomorrow. Somethings there is nothing you can do. Just do whatever makes life easiest for both of you
I use to wake my daughter up the same time every night and take her to the toliet I will also suggest making sure there’s no underlying problems I wet the bed till I was 6 turns out my kidney had died once that was removed I stopped
Some kids have this problem until they hit puberty… It’s more common in boys but girls can struggle with it as well, talk with her doctor and look in to “Good nights” pull up like sleeping underwear for kids with this issue.
It’s just something that happens, also you can go wake her up at night and take her to the bathroom, and no liquids or sugar after 7pm.
1st she needs to see a pediatrician who can order tests to see if there is a urinary reflux. If that is the problem, there are treatments or surgery to resolve it.
My daughter is 8 & still wets the bed. We talked to her pediatrician & she said some people’s bodies just take longer. My 7 year old stopped wetting 2 years ago, but my 8 year old just can’t do it. She is such a sound sleeper too. We limit fluids after 7pm, and wake her up to pee in the middle of the night but she still wets. It embarrasses her. She doesnt want to go to sleepovers or have friends spend the night…she sleeps in a goodnight under her pajamas.
There is a pill your ped can prescribe for instances of sleepovers & stuff. It just cant be taken daily. I forget what it’s called…we have it but haven’t tried it yet.
We do NOT punish our daughter or make her feel embarrassed or ashamed or like it’s her fault as she cant control it. Her body will adjust eventually & so will your child’s. Have patience.
If it’s out of pure laziness, make her wash her soiled clothing/bedding. My mother did with my sister. Eventually my sister realized that it was more work to wash her soiled clothing that it was to go to the bathroom.
If she actually said, I can’t be bothered to get up, punish her. That’s blatant misbehavior. Most of the time though, it’s a sleep disorder that will sort itself.out during puberty. See a dr.
For my boy it was a matter of the urge to wee not being strong enuff to wake him during his sleep. After everything else failed, the doctor finally gave us one of those alarms that go off as they r about to wet their pants. The first time it went off woke my son strait away. He never wet the bed again. He was 7.
Completely normal. Just use pull ups. Children will outgrow it. She may say it’s because she doesn’t want to go because it hives you and answer, but she may not know she’s going.
She may have a medical condition
Put her in a pull up at bedtime so there is no accidents to clean up but also dont let her have anything to drink a few hrs before bed… if anything she probably can’t help it and it’s just something she’ll have to grow out of dont make her feel ashamed she probably feels embarrassed.
Make her change the sheets Amd she will stop in one night
If she is just refusing to get up and go, make her wear diapers if she wants to keep acting like a baby
It sounds like you’re trying to say she does it out of laziness, I’d put a plastic cover on the mattress and then a sheet over it. No diapers. She’ll get tired of being soaked with pee. Also make her carry her sheets to the wash. This is only if she’s doing it on purpose, if she can’t help it then take her to the doctor to make sure nothing’s wrong. They’re going to tell you it’s normal and she’ll grow out of it if it’s nothing serious.
Take her to the dr and get her checked for any underlying bladder or kidney problem. If that is not an issue limit fluids after dinner. Make sure she goes to the bathroom before bed. If that doesn’t help. Start waking her up in the middle of the night to make her go to the bathroom. My sons dr made us do this with him. It took a while but eventually it worked.
There is a device you can get that they sleep on and it alarms and wakes them when they start to wet.
There is medicine for that. Believe me it works. Honestly I have 3 boys and 2 of them did it for years until I found out they made a pill for it. It worked like a charm and it didn’t take that long maybe a month or so
My daughter was wetting the bed till she was 12. I took her to the Doctor and they put her on some medicine and it helped.
I wet the bed till I was 6. My parents brought me into my pediatrician who did test and they showed kidney disease. It’s rare for kidney disease to be the outcome from bedwetting but worth a mention.
My daughter will be 8 in may and she occasionally still has an accident but most of the time when she does it is because of how much fluid intake she has, I usually try to cut her off of fluids at least two hours before bedtime with an occasional sip of water if she does get thirsty and it has def helped a lot. Cause I use to tell her I was gonna put her back into pull ups if she kept peeing and she was really upset that I even suggested it so cutting back on fluids and she makes sure she goes to the bathroom before bed every night has definitely been a huge help
I am a nurse take her to a urologist she will probably need to be dilated
Medications are successful but some kids once off meds start again, like I said …some, others dont. Most importantly try to find out the reason (if any) for the bed wetting. Children can do this for many reasons. Currently, the biggest success is actually been proven to be the use of a bed wetting alarm that alerts the child. Good luck. Parenting is hard and every child is different.
Does she drink alot before bedtime. Sometimes cutting out some of the water might help.
My child is 7. I understand your frustration. I took him and had him checked out for a medical reason. Nothing. So, I quit pull ups, put a cover over his mattress, and limited drinks after supper. I also made him do his own laundry. He detested putting the sheets back in his bed. It has went from 5 nights a week to about 2 nights a month.
I mean, have you talked to her doctor?
I’ve heard kids say this before (being lazy) and it wasn’t actually the case. Who really wants to pee themselves? They hear this from their parents or other people and makes them feel better about the situation, but it’s purely out of embarrassment why they say it. Children enter a deeper sleep than we do, that’s why they can usually sleep through anything lol. They often can’t wake up from the urge or wake up to late. If you are truly concerned speak to her doctor. There are also medical reasons for wetting the bed like UTI’s and so forth. Use pull ups and keep praising her, I know first hand it can be hard and frustrating so at least make the process easier for both of you. She WILL grow out of it. Some kids do early and some do later, don’t put so much pressure on your or her.
My twins do and they are 8. Do pull ups at night our doc said some kids are very deep sleepers and cannot help it. I’m beginning to wonder if it is pure laziness bc one did and one didn’t 2 years ago now they both do. Not a fan of meds but what is this pill some are mentioning?
Check with a your PCP (primary care physician)
She needs to see a urologist. It could be a number of things physically… some kids have underdeveloped bladders, some have narrow urethral openings, and its good to rule out as much as possible.
You said she told you she cnt be bothered … If tht is the case this is not medical it’s pure laziness and since she not the one cleaning it she doesnt care … Perhaps making her sleep on a tarp is a thought … It wnt soak in so she will be laying in a puddle … I cnt see a child enjoying tht … And punish her whn she does it … If u misworded and thts not actually the problem then a trip to doctors definitely … My parents had a hard time potty training me and they did the no liquid 2 hrs before bed … Waking me up to go every cpl hrs but nothing worked so Doctor had prescribe something … Also use a sticker chart every night her bed is dry she get a sticker … Week of stickers she gets a prize … Nothing big and a month of all stickers get a bigger prize
Ok some say it’s a medical condition but you stated she cant be bothered with it. What?! If that is the case, kick that habit and start setting an alarm at night and you get her up. Til she does it herself. Stop giving her anything to drink 2 hours before bed and have her pee right before bed. Punish her. Stop letting her run you. And if she does it, make her clean it. She will stop soon enough. If she really cant help it, get her into the doctor. My niece had to be dilated.
She sounds like she is so so tired
She needs to see a physician. There could be a number of things going on.
My daughter is 9 and stopped its honestly just laziness stop giving her drinks at 6 and cut out sugary drinks they dont help and wake her up every 2 hours she will get used to it after 2 weeks I did it in the summer sleep wasnt an issue
My son is now 33 but probably wet the bed until 10. Tried everything at the time including an alarm attached to his undies that went off when wet… Absolutely nothing worked. Still have no idea why but outgrew it at 11??? Just has to run its course. Sorry this is happening to you but someimes there is no reason!
My stepkiddos did it and finally outgrew it. I placed not only a mattress cover on the bed but the pads you use after you give birth under the sheets. I also quit drinks after a certain time.
If shes doing it on purpose, I would make her do her soiled laundry.
I stop my 6 year old and 4 in half year old drinks an hour before bed and have them use the bathroom before laying down for the night and it works. Only time my 6 year old has an accident is when she has the virus but its not during night its during day. Which my daughter caught virus today in school early because a child was sick in her class is only time my 6 year old has an accident in her pants but never she did at night but my son that 4 in half year old has had an accident 1 time in bed since he been 4 and hasnt again since that 1 time but maybe try make sure your 8 year old uses the bathroom before bed and doesnt drink anything an hour or two before bed it may help not wetting self and bed
The bladder is not developing as fast as the kid. I wet the bed until I was 12. It wasnt that i didnt want to go to the bathroom but most of the time its when your completely aslesp, it happens, and then you wake up. Its like your body isnt telling you to wake up and go to the bathroom. Or if you do wake up, its too late. It is nothing to be disciplined over just have back up pjs and towels ready. Eventually it will stop.
I bought kids bed pads from the baby section where the pull-ups are for my 11 and 7 year old. I cut off drinking early if they say after dinner they want A drink I give them one ice cube to wet mouth I have them go before bed which is about 8-830 and I get them up at midnight than we up at 530 for the day.
Have her pee before going to bed and no liquids after 5pm… milk with dinner.
Just wear larger pull ups. Many children have this. One day it will all of a sudden stop. There isn’t always an answer or a medical issue.
What gets me is that she said she can’t be bothered to get up and go potty at night…
I have a suggestion that may or may not be a bad or good one, might be controversial.
Put a bed side toilet in her room, tell her if she can’t be bothered to get up and go to the restroom and night than she can use the bedside potty and clean it when she gets up along with her bed. (My great grandma had one, she was very old and couldn’t make it to her bathroom at night so that is what she had)
Sometimes this happens when a child is too comfortable, you can try having the child sleep on cardboard to stop peeing the bed.
Punishment!!! She is just being lazy!!
Make her wash the sheets, PJS and remake her own bed!!!
Do nothing, she will eventually grow out of it. Do you think she will want to do this when she is older,not likely
mine did too…I would stop liquids at 7 then set an alarm at 1am then walk them to the bathroom every night and eventually he started getting himself up at night
My daughter wets the bed at night. Up until she was 11. I took her to a doctor and they gave her a pill and That is what stopped it. There was nothing physically wrong or mentally wrong with her. It just sometimes they sleep harder and can’t wake up if the doctor informed me. You might want to check into that.
I would consult her pediatrician. Limit liquids 3 hours before bed, go to the bathroom right before bed. Some children sleep very deeply and won’t wake up to use the bathroom.
My son has done this up to the age of 9, not often but once in a while. Be careful in how you communicate your concerns with your daughter, you don’t want to attach any shame to the situation. I wouldn’t be too concerned chances are she will grow out of it, but see her Doctor to test/rule out any medical conditions.
Sending best wishes.
I have an 8 year of daughter too. No liquid close to bed time and usually I wake up in the middle of the night and get up to pee.
My 4 and 5 year old will have accidents if they don’t use the potty right before bed. Stop liquids giving liquids after dinner.
Has there been any change lately?
Went through the same thing. We stopped liquid after 7. Got her up every 3 hours. Rubber sheets pull-ups. She would get cold from being wet and would go to the bathroom and change herself and made her Clean her bed herself. She got tired of doing it. Eventually she stopped. I guess she got tired of getting up.
Went through the same thing. Several doctor visits and a specialist. We were told that it’s more common in girls but they typically outgrow it by age 10. They said it’s because they tend to go into an extremely deep sleep and know they need to get up and go but just can’t man’s themselves wake up. That, coupled with a small bladder can cause this. Whatever you do…DON’T SHAME AND PUNISH YOUR CHILD for this. We would set alarms and get up to take our daughter to the bathroom in the middle of the night. If you haven’t already, consult your pediatrician to rule out any other medical issues. Punishing your child and shaming them could very possibly make the issue worse.
Dear heart, don’t worry yourself about such things, I know first hand how problematic this can be… just buy the night time pants and move on… there is so much more right with your little one that wetting the bed at night should be the last thing to think about… it will pass…
Omg I’m having this issue with my son ! I think he’s just a heavy sleeper but then again there are weeks he does great limiting liquids does not help as the kidney are going to do their job anyways my dr said push liquids but I still haven’t see a change it’s also normal till 11 years old my dr said
I personally struggled with this until I was 9. My parents took me to a urologist after I was in the ER for passing Jack stones. Turned out my bladder was too small which caised me to have sudden urges and the urine to back up into my kidneys and had me in renial failure, I had half of a functioning kidney at 9. I would advise to visit with your pediatrician and possibly a urologist to rule out anything physically happening within her body.
I too was a bed wetter myself. It went on for years. I had a weak bladder. I grew up in the 50s and not much was done about this situation. I thank God for the mom I had she would help me wash up and change my bed give me a hug and kiss and I went back to sleep. I finally outgrew this. It is not your child’s fault. Just give love and understand ing. By the way I was 1 of 8 children. Third from the bottom
Get her a pee alarm. In two weeks this will be done. I took my daughter at 7 years old to a urologist after trying EVERYTHING even getting up 3 times every night with her and doing everything the pediatrician said to try to get her to try stop. It was the best solution. We were even given neds by the pediatrician which was awful. We dod layers on the bed, no fluids after dinner, had hed do her laundry. Nothing worked. Two weeks if the alarm and it was done . Both if us were relieved!
My son is 13 and he had a betwetting issue up until 3 or 4 months ago. After seeing a neurologist to rule out anything sleep seizure wise, she recommended we visit our pediatrician and talk with him about it. So we did and the Dr. gave my son a medication that stopped the bedwetting. They are going to taper him off the meds at month 6 slowly in hopes that his brain will be “retrained” so to speak. This may be an issue that is completely not her fault or yours. Don’t allow anyone to make either of you feel bad or like you haven’t done enough. Maybe you have and there is a medical issue behind it. <3 Hugs
I had same issue with mine. I took her to Dr. Check out if she may have a UTI- or a weak bladder. - Her pediatrician said some kids dont feel it when they sleep, she would go into a very deep sleep! I had to cut her water out an hour before bed. Make sure she went potty 45 minutes before- then 20 minutes before- then just before bed.- ‘For example’ 12midnight bring her again when she 1/2 sleep! It IS NOT BECAUSE SHE LAZY! SHE IS EMBARRASSED TO SAY ANYTHING. I Went through it. She had an accident at a sleep over. I seen she was upset. I knew she wanted to not be a part of the group. She gotten so involved she was afraid to miss was was going on! After a while she gotten over the hurtle. One of her friends talked to her in church. Or teacher. She understood. Now she is 32 yrs old.= My 2nd daughter did the same, Only at night did the same with her. Some times twice in a night I took her to potty. She was 80% asleep. But she went potty!!
My daughters friend had this problem and it turns out her hips were out of place and pressing on her kidneys. A couple adjustments from the chiropractor and the bed wetting ended completely
I’m glad to know that I’m not the only going through this. I’ve felt like a have failed the girls. My son was 4 when he stopped the bed wetting.
Do you make her go before she gets into bed? If you make her bathe or shower before bed they’ll HAVE to go to the bathroom. Get her into a routine of that. Sit the four year old on the toilet(maybe get a step stool so that they can reach the toilet comfortable enough for themselves(the 4 year old that is). Is the older one having any anxiety that could be making her nervous? Has she dealt with any major life changes? Those kinds of things can manifest in different ways. Speak with her school counselor also they might have suggestions or her pediatrician.
Wake her up and force her to go to the bathroom. Get some mattress protectors and extra sheets and layer them so if she wets the bed she can take the wet ones off and have dry underneath. Make her wear pullups or adult diapers. Also make her do the laundry when she wakes up. I dealt with this with my son until he was 9 or 10. It gets better
I used the underwear alarm system (with reward chart and stickers), which you can buy on Amazon. Our family therapist recommended it, and told me many troubled foster kids use it. My daughter is finally 99% potty trained, and most of it happened in the first couple of weeks. The alarm system helps build new brain synapse pathways.
My daughter had this issue up until this past year when she was 8/9. We went to a urologist and tried 2 different meds. After taking the second one for about a month (not religiously- I’m forgetful lol) shes finally quit! The second med we used was one that “keeps part of the brain awake” in order for her to either wake up or hold it. Her doctor and the urologist said it’s normal/not uncommon for kids to still wet the bed up until 9 or 10. Dont stress too much and see a urologist.
I heard of a pill they make for kids to keep them from wetting at night and I asked my doc abt it for my son because he was at an age that accidents shouldn’t be happening and he said he wouldn’t recommend it…said his insides haven’t caught up yet they will in time…and they did…by no means punish a child for something they dont have any control over becse nobody by a certain age is really gonna wet themselves on purpose
I went through this with my daughter . I had to get up during the night to wake her up and my husband also helped since he gets up in the middle of the night for work . She was wearing night time pull ups . We also tried telling her if she could stay dry for 7 days I would give her $ that we spend on the pull ups. First 2 weeks it didn’t work. The following week she asked me if I would still do the same deal . I said of course and she did it. When I brought it up to the Dr he said some kids are just heavy sleepers and it’s still normal up to the age of 10yrs. You can bring it up to your Dr. also there are some good options on amazon that could help.
I don’t know the reason you daughter is still wetting the bed at her age and I won’t bash you, my advice limit night time liquids, bathroom and before bed. If this doesn’t work sit down and talk with her, children that wet the bed past a certain age sometimes have some type of fear or insecurities: bullying from a classmate, if that not the problem take her to the doctors to see if there is a physical reason for the bed wetting. There is medication available but it only treats the symptoms and not the root cause. Wish you the best. I know your daughter feels bad about this so be gentle.
My older brother did the same thing because he had a small urethra and couldnt completely empty his bladder unless he was sleeping and completely relaxed. See if maybe something like that is her problem (urologist visit I know they suck) but if that dont work buy her diapers to sleep in for a few nights. She may not like the feeling of having them on and start to use the toilet in the middle of the night. The last idea I have is to wake her before you go to bed and make her go to the toilet. With minimal lights so she dont fully wake up and then tuck her back in to bed.
We went through this with my daughter. It was hard but we set an alarm and got up and woke her up and made her go to the toilet every 2 hours. We were exhausted but after 2 weeks of this, we broke the deep sleeping and her body was trained and finally the sensation of having to pee woke her up. If its laziness then I suggest night time pullups until she grows out of it.
My daughter did this. A lot of it had to do with there not being any lights in the hall, so she was scared. We talked to her pediatrician who had her do potty exercises (stopping the pee as she’s peeing) which helped. She’s 10 and on rare occasions still wets the bed.
My kids all wet for a long time, as did myself and my siblings. The Dr did tests to make sure it wasn’t a medical issue, then flat out told me that I would have to get them up 2-3 times a night or every 2 hours if that wasn’t enough. It SUCKED, but it worked! You’d better believe if I was getting up to take them potty, SO WERE THEY! None of this “I’m tired” or " I don’t have to go". Nope! Let’s make it quick so we can all go back to bed!
Its a common problem with many causes and usually not the kids fault.