My boyfriend recently went on a trip with his friends and accidentally sent a me a message that was intended for the group guy chat . He claims they were talking about how beautiful women can get whatever they want simply by posting or flaunting themselves online . He sent me the picture with a text underneath " trying to grab them DMS" he claims it was guy banter about how she puts a filter on and everyone is grabbing her DMS and nothing more but I can’t help but think he’s cheating . I’ve confronted him and he says it was a honest mistake and he’s sorry but it was nothing more than banter between men about women . He’s never given me a reason to think he’s unfaithful until this moment . Do I just believe his word ?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend accidentally sent me a text meant for his guy group chat
Yes. He’s doing what we do with our girlfriends.
Yeah I say things like that too men have CRAZY conversations just like we do lol
Ask him to show you the Conversation.
If he’s telling you the truth, there should be no reason for him NOT to show you. And, there SHOULD be a conversation if it’s truly what he’s saying.
I would trust him if he’s never given you a reason not to trust him. Guys gossip and banter with the guys like we do with our girl friends.
Sounds like he’s telling the truth and you’re overreacting…
I don’t think he’s cheating. I think they’re just discussing women in general & oops it went to you!
Sounds like he wants her but can’t have her because why else would he care to say something like that while in a relationship? Typical boy behavior. Men don’t talk like that nor do they care. Cheating tho? No.
I’d say " well show me the messages surrounding that one so that I can make that conclusion
No matter what he’s objectifying is sexualizing that other woman and then talking about it to his friends
I’d base this on how your relationship is. Has he cheated in the past? Has he ever given you reason to not trust him? Women do this all the time. If you don’t, good for you but every woman that I’ve met, checks men out and talks about attractive men with friends.
I wouldn’t read that much into it if he’s never given you any reason. This isn’t even considered a reason in my book. This is typical guy conversation just like women have with their girls.
Sounds more like bagging her out than a cheating thing don’t do Ur head in over it
Yes. I talk like that with my girlfriends 🤷 if he has given you no other reason, chillax and trust your man honey!
I think he’s prolly telling the truth. And I’m one of those females that trips a lot lol
What he is saying sounds legit.
My husband and some of his friends send pics of women to each other. It doesn’t bother me.
Have you never listened to how guys gossip? It’s literally no different than how we gossip with our friends. How are you getting cheating at all from that?
Trust actions not words
I talk the same way with my friends.
Doesn’t sound like cheating at all to me
Hell no. You can’t trust men
He was criticizing her. I wouldn’t think he’s cheating.
Doesn’t sound like cheating to me
Yes. Believe him. If he’s given you no reason not to trust him. I would be inclined to trust what he’s saying and let it go.
I disagree with most of these women that’s a red flag for me
I don’t think he’s cheating. Just guys being guys like we do with our girls.
What does his friends say?
Guys. Talk. Shit. It’s. True
So. Do. Us. Gals. So. If. He’s. Never. Given. an. Indication of. Cheating
Before. Show some. Trust. .
So we just gonna act like women don’t sit here and talk about dudes?
Yea. Let it go. Ain’t that serious.
Guys will be guys… You will have a heart attack if you saw what guys say in these kind of groups
Let it slide🌻
Either believe him or don’t, but live with your decision. Our opinions don’t mean anything.
Sounds like mocking not cheating
Like you’ve never sent a meme about big Dicks or something else to a girlfriend?
Let this one go.
Doesn’t sound like cheating to me and yes I believe him.
I’d believe him, but my bf and I also have the same kind of convos together.
Yah saying she’s trying to grab them dms isn’t a reason to think he’s cheating. He’s basically calling her an attention whore
Sounds like the truth to me
Doesnt sound like it’s a cheating thing… sounds insulting to the girl… why would he be cheating with a girl that he is talking smack about?
He’s pointing out her being thirsty and putting herself out there being desperate… we as females do the same thing when we gossip about about other girls.
It’s just that it’s guys passing judgment on girls here instead of girls. Doesnt sound like cheating to me.
I dont think he’s cheating. Men talk the same way about woman as we do about men.
if that’s how they talk about someone they dont even know I wouldnt want to hear how they talk about someone they do know
Real m#n can shut down conversations about others when they cant defend themselves
Weak m#n act like those boys your posting about
Wait watch and see…either way time will tell
Let it go sweetheart!
Hahaha so much husband has me in his guy chat. Never asked but he added me. I rarely read it but when I do guys talk about the oddest stuff. Seems legit.
Its going down in his DM’s
Let it go. Actually I’d imagine is banter. Tbf he has a point woman can get what want flaunting, if they want it. We can’t say it isn’t true and known. I think we’ve all sent a meme slating men or text.
If you have to ask a bunch of strangers, you obviously don’t have trust for him. That is a huge issue in a relationship.
I once got a “text by mistake” saying “get baby some nuggets” he swore he was at his moms watching his niece… Yada Yada yada…Yada… found out he was at his baby moms and that text was meant for her, she was at McDonald’s. I felt like a damn believing him then only to find out the truth after lol
Unfaithful or not u don’t enjoy that mindset “women did dirty deeds to get the promotion” and on and on. My husband thinks the same way, and he’s finally respectful enough to quit talking that way about women to me.
Did you ever have brothers or guy friends? Just like women, they share unique banter you’d have to be there to understand. If that’s your only “evidence” he’s cheating, I’d let it go. Your thinking way to hard on this and it’s making you crazy. Change your focus… maybe plan a date night… Bet you have better things to think about!!
I don’t think he’s cheating. I think it’s men talking smack about some girl. Women talk smack about actors and the Chippendales, other male strippers and such. I don’t think there’s anything to it.
If he’s never given you a reason to doubt him then why are you now? It’s the way guys talk
I’d ask to see the conversation from when he was trying to send that and that would easily tell you the context. I could see how the message could go either way “she’s trying to get them dms” or how your brain went to “I’m trying to get them dms”. But context should she’d some light.
Doesn’t sound like cheating whatsoever. They’re clowning on the girl for being my thirsty. If he’s never cheated before, cut your man some slack.
To me it sounds like he is saying the girl was trying to get dms, nothing more, for you to go to he is cheating right away when he has given you zero reason to think he is being unfaithful, and I have no idea how you would get he is being unfaithful by that. So yes I would believe his word and stop looking for things that are not there.
The amount of insecurity on this page is alarming.
That’s definitely not cheating. He’s joking around with the guys. My fiancé does it with his friends and even I do it. It’s jokes nothing more
Unless he sent you a message saying, “My girls gone, you can come over babe” I wouldnt worry. I send crap all the time to my friends that would look bad out of context. Doesn’t mean anything.
Cheating? Because he made fun of a woman? That doesn’t make sense
Girl you need to stop he explained himself the first time already
Ask to see the rest of the group chat… see if this is normal stuff they send each other. Granted I still would not like it.
Yea you believe him. Get over it. That’s like nothing…I swear some of the things I read on here.
1: do you trust him?
2: does he have a history of lying and cheating?
If the answers to the questions above is yes and no in that order then stop overthinking and move on.
Believe him unless you are looking for trouble.
You’re reading wayyyy to much into this. Let it go.
Where is your trust? Amd quit looking for validation from strangers. Trust yourself first…then your trust for others will follow. What are you doubting within you that makes you doubt him?
If he has never given you a reason before I would believe him but note it.
Don’t over think it babe, but also keep an eye out because I think his excuse was really dumb. Lool
Honestly, it doesn’t sound like cheating at all. But the fact that he’s objectifying women is what I have an issue with.
I can only imagine what is sent back and forth between my husband and his friends! Just guys having guy talk. My friends and I do the same thing. Neither is cheating just funny banter.
Ummmm I read your post a few times but I still don’t understand what your issue is.
Clearly doesn’t mean anything, all he’s saying is that she’s “thirst trapping”
What the heck does mean or is DMS
Think you are reading way too much into it
Boys will be boys don’t sweat it I think stuff like that can be funny
Why would he not just show you the group chat to prove it?
Sounds like you need to re-evaluate whether you want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks it is ok to be so disrespectful
My husband texted me early one morning… “Hey Beautiful, I love you so much! Have a great day! Talk later!!”
He never has texted me that in our 16 years of marriage!
I have no Love for him or respect, he’s just a roommate now.
Your over thinking it
So tell him to show you the group chat🤷♀️ If he doesn’t then I would be worried.
Everything happens for a reason you already know your answer or you wouldn’t be asking this question
Makes sense to me. Guys talk about stuff like that
Also, everyone that says she’s just overthinking - she knows him and we don’t. She lives with the guy daily. If she has a gut feeling then most likely SOMETHING is happening.
There’s nothing wrong with looking at other people, online or in person. It’s just human nature. I would take it as he meant the girl in the pic was just trying to get DMs by flaunting herself and using the filter.
My thing is yeah guys can talk about guy stuff and women about women but for him to take his time to download the pic of another woman to his phone and send it to his friends is fishy to me no it’s not physical cheating but it makes me think he’s pondering. I don’t know it also depends on the guy! Would he like if u were send pics of men to your homegurls? That’s the honest question, do it to him and see if he likes it.
My hubby is in a guys group chat that is like frat guys on spring break … but none of them are cheating just immature
I’d be more worried about the misogyny
I understand your feelings. Something similar happened with my, and although it was a dumb conversation my husband was having with his friend, it made me uncomfortable. I can’t explain why it hurt my feelings so much because it was just banter but it did. With that said, I don’t think he’s cheating but if it made you uncomfortable or feel a certain say he needs to respect that. I know my husband has dumb conversations with his friends and I honestly don’t want to know about them, but at the same time there has to be a line or boundary out of respect for you.
Most guys cheat if given the opportunity
That is the absolute lamest answer I’ve ever heard
He shouldn’t have pics of othervwomen
Ha. I had that happen to me once.
It was a friend & he described in detail about him taking a dump.
He was so embarrassed, it was hilarious!
I talked with my friend and that if my boyfriend read he wouldn’t understand because we just have this certain way we talk and joke around with eachother and anyone else wouldn’t understand
I would just be on guard… don’t attack him with when you have no proof. Could damage your relationship if no cheating is happening
I would HATE for an outsider to obtain any group chat that I am in. I’m a mom, wife, employee… my chats are ridiculously funny and borderline inappropriate at any given moment. Take his word if he is trustworthy. Time will tell. If he is a cheater no matter what you do, he’s gonna cheat.
How do you feel in your heart, do you feel he is cheating? My separated husband talked about the person at work compared her to me all of the time, I knew something was going on but sadly I was in no position to leave just put up with it and take it…I am a stronger person being away from him, so if you want to be with someone like him that is your choice, not strangers really helping you decide?
I literally NEVER say this, ever, but ask for access to his phone at random times
Unless there’s something you’re not stating, yes believe him.
Be aware but not obsessive, if you have a good relationship and never had to question his trust before, no need to start
I’m sorry but all this “guys cheat if given the opportunity”, “he’s obviously cheating” crap blows my mind… not ALL guys are the same as those who have hurt yall. And to the comment of ask him to show the texts between him and his friends… 1. That’s an invasion of privacy to the other guys because you never know if 1 of them has asked for personal advice and 2. Would you show your man the texts between you and your best friends? Because I’m betting at least half of yall wouldn’t. Now as for the original poster if he’s given you no reason to think he’s cheating why does that picture and comment make you think that now? Do you think she was prettier or something? I honestly think you need to think about why this has made you think he’s cheating then have a calm sit down talk with him about all of it… no accusing him of anything just simply telling him how it made you feel and why. And ask nicely why he sent it. If he gets defensive that’s when you should wonder if he’s truly cheating… guys look at girls all the time… hell i look at both females and males even when i was in a relationship and even asked whatever guy i was with what they thought of a female i thought looked good… looking isn’t cheating.