My boyfriend and I are thinking of having a baby: When is it the right time?

My boyfriend and I have been together for some years now; we have a four-year-old daughter together. He has wanted a second child for some time now, and I’ve had second thoughts because I didn’t think we were ready, we still don’t have our own place yet, plus I want to go back to school, and I really don’t want to go to school pregnant again since I was when I was first pregnant. Also, the program I want to study is only nine months, and we talked about it; and I do want another baby, but I’m just not sure. Any thoughts, I would really appreciate it. Thanks

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Wait until you’re sure

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You’ve established that yes. You want a baby. Ok great! Now… You’ve also established that you want to go to school and what not… So… First thing you need to do is set up a time line so you’re both on the same page. Enroll in school. Do what you need to do to meet your conditions. Then… Get your own place. I don’t recommend having a second without your own place to live. It’s not in any way convenient for anyone involved. And don’t start trying or preventing pregnancy until you’ve done those things (just suggestions by the way )

Wait , for if y’all been together for sometime now what’s he waiting on from going from boy friend to husband ? Finish your school being it’s only 9 months and decide from there

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Dont… Go to school, do your internship, get a job and give it a year of employment. You will literally not be able to get anywhere if u decide on having another kid right now. You have a goal in mind. Follow thru with it.

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When in doubt… don’t

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Your body, your rules

If it was me, I would choose the baby over going to school any day.

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Go to school and then see if you still want another child, or get some experience in your trade. Just so you can have a job once the new baby is old enough

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Get the education then house…stash some cash together and your own stash then maybe baby

Get your own place, do what you want in school and then have another . If you have another first it only delays everything else

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If you need to ask strangers, you are not ready.

Your body your choice. Tell him what you have asked us.

Could the same reason you haven’t started school yet be the same reason you’re not ready for baby 2? It’s okay to not be ready. It is mature to wait until you are!

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If u dont know then its not. Get married first and go to school.

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Thing is , most people are never really ready , regardless of when they have children .
Many factors to consider ,
How much do you really want another child ?
Do you want them both being raised almost as an only child - this can happen if the age gap is too big .
You could fall pregnant as soon as you start trying - or it could take years .

If you want to go back to school badly enough , you will find a way to do so., even with another child .
When you say you don’t have your own place do you mean that you are living with other people.or renting on your own - but not bought your own place .
You could agree to wait untill you were say half way through your course & start trying then .
Regardless of any one elses opinions the decision is that of you & your partner .

You don’t have your own place as in you are just renting or you are living with family?

Get your own place, go to school and tell him to marry you before having another. At least get your own place and do school

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Do the school n secure financial stability for u. Your child then have a baby.It will only be a while 9 mos school then 8 mos after that pregnant in to days times we need good jobs n stability.Your children deserve it what if ur man leaves or so sudden dies u want to be able to raise the kidsschhol 1st

Tell him to marry you before asking for another child

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Get through school, get on your feet, get a place, then focus on #2

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Def go to school and get your own place first.

My view on it is that there is never a perfect time for a baby. Something can always come up. Life can always get in the away. You could be in the ideal situation, get pregnant, and then life changes to not be ideal anymore. If you both want another baby, have one.

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It seems to me that you have more reasons to wait then to impregnate. With all these second thoughts I’d wait, I’d go to school, get a job, do all the things you want/need to do to be ready. It will be best for you and your family in the long run x

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1.School
2.Place
3.Start career(Build good reputation within workplace)
4.Then baby.
Make yourSELF satisfied before brining a new bundle into the picture. Don’t wanna have regrets while pregnant. Good luck to you :relaxed:

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You definitely need your own place 1st. Don’t put the burden of a 2nd child on someone else or you need to talk to them at the very least. Then go to school

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In school just got on my feet 6 months pregnant with a toddler and I’ll tell you its tiring but we are getting too that goal either or. It can be done dont get too discouraged if you do though.

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If your not sure don’t do it you don’t sound ready regardless of boyfriends wants accomplish your goals first

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If you can’t support yourself and a child now, don’t add another one until you can.

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Honestly. I had my first daughter moved back home. Moved out when she was a toddler. Got pregnant with my second. Went back to school when she was 5 months. Finished school. I’m now a single mother working full time with 2 beautiful girls that are 4&6! You can do anything you set your mind too!

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It seems to me that you are clear in what YOU want. It’s wonderful that you have forethought and ambitions. Stability and education is a gift for your entire family :heart:

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There’s never a right time.

Get your education get married save and buy a house then kids

Go to school! Get yourself together first! What’s with the concept of having babies but not considering marriage? I don’t get it

2 years ago, when the other child was 2.

Sit down and make a plan. Only you guys know when is the right time.

i think u should always look at it this way. even if ur good or bad with ur partner. u have to think if YOURE ready for a baby. because if the marriage ends ull end up having to take care of 2 kids even if ur not ready or if ur in skol or stuff like that. theres honestly no perfect time to have a baby… whenever u choose to get pregnant just make sure YOURE 100% ready.

There’s never a “right” time. Babes come when they come. Even if you go of BC now it might take 6 yrs, or 6 days. No one has s ever as prepared as they think they should/need be.

Get your own place and married then talk about another baby.

First of all, you don’t need to be married to have kids :v:t3: to all that think this :woman_facepalming:t3: marriage does not determine if your relationship will succeed or if you will be a good parent. You need to be able to support yourself first and I would advise finishing school first! Otherwise there is no “perfect” time!

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Get your own place first.

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If you are renting, I can understand wanting to purchase a home and if you are wanting to get schooling done, maybe set a time line for you and your family. Say, in a year, you plan on purchasing a home, have your schooling finished, then start trying for a 2nd. Also, your youngest will still be at a great age that they will want to “help” with baby and will want to play with them too. Best of luck!

I would suggest maybe waiting a year to see if this pandemic gets under control because I couldn’t imagine having a baby and not having my s.o at my visits or family during the delivery.

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Also if by your own place you mean you live with family or something, then yeah you need a place first…

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Get your schooling , find your own place , and then consider another child .

let him marry you first then have one

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If you really want to go back to school then do that. Once you have 2 children that may not be possible and like you said the course is only 9 months, you can have another baby after that xx

So not right now, is what thats says.

You should wait until you have your own place AND finish school. I really don’t know why you guys are even considering this if you don’t live on your own. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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You might want to start now because it can take time to get pregnant not everyone gets lucky and is pregnant quick . There is never a good time for a baby

When your ready…everything you said…says your. NOT READY

there is never a right time to have a baby x

Look all my kids were biopsies but I wouldn’t change anything except I wish I would have been better off financially.

Go back to school, first. I had my first baby when I was in grad school and it was really hard. You already have a child and another little one is going to require time from you. Right now, you need time for yourself, too!

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One thing at a time! Get your own place go to school,get in a good place financially. You’re young but you have to be mature when it comes to babies and your future, be smart about your choices.

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You should have your own place.
I’d wait til covid is pretty much over to be safe and there’s alot of pregnancies right now. I had a 9/11 baby. It was hard to get into the Dr, the hospital was packed when I was in labor, many times I had to go to 3-4 stores just to find formula. Baby items were hard to come by. He graduated this year and was in one of the biggest classes ever for the school district.

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it’s never the right time. I have 5 now, I’m 32. now I’m having health issues and miscarried twice this yr. so with that I’m glad I had mine when I did. even tho it was rough at times. had I waited for the right time I probably wouldnt have any kids.

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Being married does NOT equal stability/readiness to have a baby. There are no magical conditions that create a ‘right’ time. If you are having doubts, seems clear you are not ready. It’s your choice, taking everything into consideration, do what would be best for you AND the possible future baby.

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Go back to school. It’s hard enough with one munchkin. I went back to school when my son was four and I was working as a nanny. I felt bad because I couldn’t be fully focus on being a student or parent. It will be worth the wait.

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There’s no shame in waiting til you are ready…my man and I were together for 7 yrs, out on our own, and fully independent before we expanded our family…there is 10.5 yrs between the kids and I personally love it!! Going to college pregnant was SO HARD!! Dont let him pressure you, at least you know when you’re ready, he will be too

Omg. Wait wait wait until your answer is just yes. Just wait. Give yourself and your children better by completing all the big things on your list. Become independent and then worry about someone else being dependent on you. Oh no. What are we doing and watching kids that this is even a question and why is your boyfriend not out there grinding harder to help move y’all up???

Its never gonna be the prefect time to have a baby. I tried for 2 years with my fiance and then finally got pregnant during quarantine… not ideal but life happens best thing u can do it start saving start preparing go to school get at least 4months in before u start trying but just remember no one is gonna hire u (noticably) pregnant plus child care for newborn during covid there is alot to think about and its scary and tough decision there is nothing wrong with waiting a year or 2 my babies are 8 years apart and my daughter is more understanding and excited to have a lil sibling :heartpulse: :two_hearts: you got this momma I send u love :cupid:

Sounds like it needs to be relegated to a little lower on the priority list at the moment. If you’re not self sufficient yet, then you really have other things to get straight first. Trust your instincts. You’ll know when you’re ready. And, if you mostly are ready, then really buckle in and make some progress. You’ll feel far more confident. I promise.

There is no right time to have a baby tbh. That being said, if you want to wait until you finish school, do it then. It’ll be easier.

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I would definitely work on school first, then once you get a job with the degree/certification you’re going for, get your own place. Then after you settle into your new place and get into a routine, then it’ll probably be easier to imagine adding another little human to it. The fact that you’re thinking it through like this shows a lot of maturity. Plus like someone else pointed out, formula and wipes and such have been difficult to come by during the pandemic- I’ve been ordering off of Amazon a week prior to needing them because it’s just been easiest and buying an extra formula everytime I go grocery shopping even if she doesn’t need it yet so I know she always has some bc there have been times where the stores have been out when we needed it and we had to go to 4 different places to find it. Caring for an infant during this has been extremely difficult, I would definitely avoid it if you can! Wishing you the best of luck, love. :heart:

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I would say definitely wait until you have your own place. As far as the school thing goes that depends on what you’re willing to do. If you would feel better going to school first than do it! If you’re not sure than don’t go through with it yet. There’s no rush.

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Go to school get that done for you and your family then have that talk about another baby !! You will be so happy you did this for yourself

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My advice is get your own place first. Then school, then marriage then another child. But that’s me. Good luck.

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When you can pay for the next 25 years of their lives! Through the age of 18… and the contingency for when they screw up and come to you foe the next 7.

Dont plan to have a child when you don’t have a home of your own…

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If you are not sure, do not do it. Do what you want to do first, by that time your oldest will be in school.

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We chose to have another baby right after our first. However, nearly 13 years later and nothing.

My advice is that decide if you both can juggle a second child plus jobs plus school.

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It’s very rare that you will ever truly be ready! Do what makes you happy! Life is to short!

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It’s your body and your choice. He can have an opinion and give input but you are the one carrying it for 9 months and the affects as you know it’ll have on your body. If school is important and a priority for you than that needs to stay your priority. Also I would recommend having your own house before as well. There’s nothing worse than living w other people planning For another one. You won’t enjoy it as much because you won’t have the privacy or a baby room. Being pregnant during covid isn’t anything fun anyway. The men can’t even go into the doctors appointments right now and it sounds like he’d Deff wanna be in the doctors office w you. There’s nothing wrong w waiting. Your first kid is only 4.

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I had a child at 19 and wasn’t ready, but I made it. I tried having another a few years later when I was ready, and couldn’t. Now I have a 10 year old and 1 year old. God gave me my second child in His timing, not mine. I also have one due in June. I ovulated one time after stopping birth control and bam! Got pregnant. Moral of the story: you’re never truly ready. You never know what life will throw at you. God is in control. Pray about it! :heart:

You don’t need to be married but stability definitely is a must… not having your own place sounds a little unstable especially when you already have a baby in that environment. You wouldn’t want to just welcome another baby into space that isn’t yours. Also follow your dreams.

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If you’re not sure, WAIT! Go to school, buy a house together, possibly get married if that’s something you want to do, and ENJOY your child now and life. There’s no rush. My first son is 12 and I just had a newborn. Life for me is amazing as I cherish these moments even more because I know now how quickly they grow! Don’t struggle if you don’t have to!

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School and a career are more important!!! Now a days it’s too expensive to have more than one child. Day care if you cant be home w them is sooo expensive. You will be tied down to the home for sure w a 2nd child!!

You’re never truly ready, but at least make sure you’re financially stable and have your own place.

I don’t know it’s not about marriage it’s that you don’t have your own place and want to go to school .
Concentrate on your future and hold off on another mouth to feed …
School and a place of your own should be a priority to make a better life for future kids …

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If you’re not sure, I’d suggest wait. Wait till you’re done with school, and while you’re in school try and find a place of your own.
But after all, it is YOUR choice.
We just give opinions, you decide

Whenever you want… You never know what the future holds and you need to do things in the present… Never thought it would take 5 + years and multiple losses, surgeries, so much time in the hospital and Dr. appointments of trying to have a baby, I never tell people to wait anymore. It such a fairytale to think just because you plan something that is how it’s going to happen and is the time ever really 100% perfect?

Honey, only you and your partner can answer that question. The way I look at it though, and this is just how I look at things, only my opinion. If the question has to be asked then maybe it is not the time yet.

Get your education, especially if its just a 9 month program, get your own place. Then have another.

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Not yet… you dont sound ready and should pursue your education and your own place before having another…you would feel more in control of your life

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With all the reasons you listed I would say it’s not the right time.

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The right time is not know if your wanting to go back to school wait till you have your own place and ready to settle down its going to be harder to find daycare for 2 kids and expensive good luck hope it all goes well for you

Go back to school and then start trying to get pregnant halfway through. Then you will be done school before you are even showing. Going to school may help with the other factors. Better job, more money, own place …

Are these real people. Askin??? Cause this is sad if it is?
Asking strangers if u should have a baby…

Definitely shouldn’t have more right now if you’re depending on someone else for a place to live.

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Get your lives in order first. It’ll be so much harder with another kid.

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I dont think there is ever a right time to stop ur whole life and birth a human 100% dependent upon you for give or take 18 years :joy::joy: But id definitely wait till you had your own space and not living with other people

Get your own place and go to school then start trying for a baby.

Honestly it’s never the right time or the wrong time, as long as you can put a roof over your heads and food on the table and clothes on your backs, none of those things have to be fancy, go for it as long as both of you want it…

If you have the option to wait I would definitely wait till I finished school and had my own place.

you really mentioned your reasoning very well. It is time to communicate it to your. boyfriend

Wait til after u are in your own place after school program

don’t have kids if you can’t support them. if you don’t have your own place then no sorry i wouldn’t be doing it.

The fact you are having this much trepidation should really be all the answer you need.

You dont have your own place yet? Then dont have another kid. Focus on your studies. Whats gonna happen when your relationship ends?