my boyfriend and I have been dating over a year now and always run into the issue of not getting his son regularly… she will change her number and move (has done this more than twice) and then randomly call and offer him his weekend (when it’s convenient for her) and ofcourse more often since her abusive boyfriend moved out… he has gone to court three times now (upcoming a 4th) just for a judge to tell her to let him see him… he pays his child support on time and every darn month, and yet she keeps doing this over and over… last time the judge laid it down very simple that he gets his time and he here we are… we are about to go to court again (after recently getting engaged, good paying jobs, new house ect) I try to not step on toes or upset my fiance but it’s getting ridiculous… he trys to talk to her about it, but she is bipolar and screams and yells at him and their son (our son)… if the courts just do another slap on the hand we are going to be back in the same boat… I need advice on what to do and how to be there for him and our boy
I hope your fiance has documented every time he had to take her to court document document document he needs to take them all to court show them all to the judge and tell the judge nothing ever changes. He needs to tell them that she does the same thing over and over every time they tell her that he has a right to his child. And he needs to ask what he can do to make it where she cannot do that to him. But tell him not to give up on his kid. because in the end the kids going to know that his mom’s the one that keeps him away from his dad. I feel sorry for your fiance. My nephew went through the same thing. And didn’t get to see his kid for six and a half years. Until his kid asked her why he did not have the same last name as his younger brother and sister. Then she had to tell him what was going on and got in touch with his dad but that was six years later. It’s a shame.
There may be other things that previously happened that you are unaware of. It seems like it. In my experience, some men only tell their GIRLFRIENDS what will make them out to be the victim… they don’t tell what THEY did to cause the reaction… take the time to try and find out EVERYTHING. Don’t ask him and don’t ask her, because their answers will always be one sided… But in all honesty, none of this is any of your business. It’s between the parents and the court.
If she isn’t following a court order, you can involve the cops. They will go with your boyfriend to pick him up. Document every missed visitation. Documentation can be your best friend. Make sure you have all of this to take to court with you. Keep fighting and hopefully something will be done in your favor.
Hang in there it will get much better exspecially if she keeps doing that stuff. Smh. My husbands been raising um since birth by her choice but a year ago when he started making really good $ she wants full custody just so she can get the $800 a month in child support. Meanwhile she sends them with a diff person EVERYDAY! Girls cry to my husband n I. In process of going back to normal again.BMS now a days r soooo bitter it’s so sad. Who makes kids suffer like this!! If it’s not the mom caring for um SEND UM HOME TO THEIR HSE (dads).
Get a better lawyer. Your boyfriend needs to stand up and fight harder. If there are court ordered visitation times then your boyfriend needs to call police when she doesnt show up with the child and show officers the document. Sometimes they will help.
He can call the police and have them meet him at her place on the day he is supposed to get his son since she won’t give the child to him. She will have the right to still not give up the child even if cops are called, however it is documented and that paperwork can be taken to court as hard proof that she is not allowing him his time with his son. If she happens to not know that she can refuse to give the child up then it might scare her into giving him his son. Other than that you will have to keep going to court. Took my husband 5-6 years and about 6 times going to court to get 82% custody of my stepdaughter.
The best thing you can do is support your fiance in his attempts to be with his child. I’m sure you mean well but if you are the one spearheading the whole what do we do thing then you need to reevaluate him. A man that wants to be a good father will be on top of seeking legal counsel and being persistent in all the right ways rather than get his girlfriend or fiance to do it for him. Dont mean to be a dick but IMO actions speak louder than words.
You need to mind your own and he needs to do what is fit whether it be seeking sole custody etc … child is not yours it is theirs . He should be the one seeking advice or speaking to a lawyer .
Record everything!!! Every call she yells every text she curses every time he asks and she says no present that to the judge with a few witnesses and explain how it just keeps happening over again and he might get full custody if that is what you are aiming for
Record all phone calls with her, print all text messages, are y’all supposed to meet with her somewhere to pick him up? If so be there on time Everytime and take a photo showing the time and date. If it is somewhere you can buy something then do so and keep the receipt. Go after 50/50 custody or full custody. It sounds like that would be the best thing for y’all’s son
You really need to stay out of this. This is between him and the child’s mother only…plus the judge. A lot of people go through this…sooner or later things will change.
I would start checking into state laws. I would hire a lawyer n fight for custody. Start keeping track of stuff texts calls etc…and that way u have proof and then take her to court
Has he thought about filling for primary custody and having a psych evaluation done on her to see if she is actually fit to parent. I would strongly suggest he get a good family law attorney. Another question would he persue this if you were not around???
Have him call the police and go get his child with the police by his side. With court ordered papers in hand every time its his visitation time. After so many reports of having to need an officer to see his child. The judge will put her in jail for being difficult/ not complying with the court orders. She will be in contempt of court.
From what I have seen there are many steps to getting things right. Also from what I understand the best is to set up (court appointed or approved) visitation. If the mom doesnt bring child then its a documentable thing to bring to court or call police (but I think thats extream cases) keep a journal with date and time. (Text communication and Video record maybe) of drop offs and whatnot. (On time how late. Communication as to being late etc)
Just be his support and listen don’t put your 2 cent cause this kid is seeing how his mama is treating him and eventually as he gets older he will see that no matter what his mama does to his dad when Dad was able to get him he was there kids are smart trust me js
Just support your boyfriend as he deals with all this. That’s all you can really do. He should just keep fighting
Honestly, all he can do is keep going back to court. Save text messages and report Everytime she breaks them. All you can do is be supportive.
This post has a lot of jealous baby mommas on it and it shows . Just keep fighting. Support your fiancé and don’t let her keep him from him. You don’t need to stay out of anything. It’s your life too. You signed up for this when you became engaged to him so he is going to be your child too. Good luck
Maybe your boyfriend wants to consider suing for custody.
Do you have a lawyer? Ask the judge for a more stern outcome because this is the 4th time of coming to court for her contempt.
Get a lawyer nd go for physical custody. Enough drama nd step up nd protect the child. He has a case, its Parental Alienation.
I, never allowed my son, to see. his dad. and there is a reason for that. never took no money,. he just turned 40. so, all is good. they could see, each other now.
The judge will get tired, keep fighting so the the court knows that boy means a lot to the both of you. Sooner or later he will get custody
Claim that she’s alienating him from his son. Judges don’t like that. And document everything.
You can ask your story to ask for a psych eval or he can put her in contempt for not following the previous order
Basically - you’re the baby daddy’s girlfriend so it’s none of your concern🤷♀️
File her in contempt every time
Get an attorney and fight for custody
He needs to get full custody then let her have visitation
You must all get along for the child and
He needs to seek custody
Go for custody of him.
Fight for full custody
My ex husband and I did this entire situation almost verbatim for years and years. We spent bookoos of money and she never got into any legal trouble. Just told to produce the girls on our weekends and Wednesday’s every week. We had all records that showed her in 23 counts of contempt of court and she married a registered sex offender. Nothing happened. They ruled still for joint. Neither my ex husband or myself had /have any legal run ins including traffic tickets and were ruled against for about 5 years. His daughters stayed in that environment with her only seeing their dad one yes one day is 760 days. The mother was never jailed fined or stripped of anything. It was a maddening saddening time. The children are now of legal age for one and one is almost legal age and guess what. He (the step father/ sex offender) molested them while in her care. Nothing was ever done. The system failed his children
Some of these mothers are ridiculous, they use these poor kids for what ever they can get. I’m not saying all mothers are like that, but I do see more and more of this bad parenting. They need taken away from their mom/dad if they constantly yelling, cursing or just plane mean to these kids. Some of these women need to grow up and raise their damn kids.
Go to any fathers rights movement pages, they always have great advice. Keep fighting. Anytime you have a visitation record it & if she doesn’t show make police report you need paper trail. After having about 5 months of proof of no shows go back to court on contempt. Do that every 5-6 months, judge will get tired of seeing you & will start giving you more time. A lot of dads get custody after so many times going to court for contempt. Let her keep playing games just get a journal & record the date & time & the no show or no phone call.
I would recommend recording everything that goes on and talk to him if he want to merry you
He shall try and understand in some situations it’s best if he trys and gets full custody
If she is in a bad situation and abuse is in the home it is unfit for a child depends on where you live they have people that can help and show you the right way to get the kiddo
You dont have to keep the child away from the mom maybe until she is more fit to help support her child
I’m not trying to be disrespectful at all. But why do the girlfriends always get involved in business that ain’t theirs. Im sorry . That’s a pet peeve. Until yall are LEGALLY MARRIED. that ain’t your business. Yall always saying that’s my boyfriend… but were going to court , or were getting visitation.
Also. Ain’t no judge gonna say to her let him see his child. They have to go before a judge with a visitation order. What planet are you from. ? Smh
The only way that you can legally force her is if there is a parenting or custody agreement. Violate her if there is. Go in front of the judge and file a motion to to violate her. That being said that my exs new girlfriend of the last year thinks that I’m horrible crazy Petty woman and has never taken the time to look up 28-page PPO I filed against him or the fact that he broke my jaw or the fact that he abused his ex-wife or the fact that there is a Parenting Agreement where he would be able to see his kid more if he wanted to take me up on it but mostly he just likes being a victim. Make sure you actually know the entire story
Is there an actual custody arrangement? A judge wouldn’t just tell her to let him see his son and not do anything if she isn’t doing it especially if he’s gone more then once to court and she’s not complying to a court order. If there is a custody arrangement(which there should be if he’s gone to court multiple times?), all he has to do is call the police if she won’t give him his son. And if they can’t find her, they will assume the child was kidnapped
I wish i could tell this women what my husband has been through with his ex. CRAZY lady!! All i can say is stay strong. Document everything. Request a change in custody. Get a lawyer.
If she’s not letting him see their kid and y’all have a plan set through the courts then she’s in contempt of court. You can easily fight for full custody of you document everything ! Also if you guys want to be petty in court tell her if he don’t get his time she don’t get her child support simple .
I had the same thing happen with my husband when we first got together. Video and voice record every conversation with her the judge will use it as evidence for abuse neglect of court order.
File for a motion to change the Judge, if possible get a good lawyer as well.
Changing the judge should work. She is violating the custody agreement. If he has his papers he can actually get the cops involved. When having police reports shows he is trying to see his son and trying to get the legal system to help. She can go to jail for doing this. Then he will get temporary sole custody. He might have to go for full custody
Get a lawyer and he needs to acknoledge his Paternal rights…unfortunately a lot of dad’s technically don’t have a say over the mother unless his paternal rights are acknowledged by a court…
in this case, I would consider a lawyer. They help more than we think. but not everyone is able to afford one. I would say, if you guys can, get one ASAP.
On your boyfriend’s visitation days. The actual dates need to be set at the court date. When he shows and she refuses, call the cops. Its a crime to go against a court order. The cops will force her to hand over the child.
Simply find a lawyer and go for a fair hearing…in front of a judge…and get ready for baby momma drama…if not run … this shit is until the child is of age to make its own decisions…to much work…run…
Don’t go back for enforcement, go back for custody.
He needs a court order that’s in enforceable by law enforcement.
Have the child custody spelled out in detailed
Don’t get involved. Just listen as he needs you to.
Tell him go to court this time and ask for full custody period
That’s between the parents and the courts.
Record everything, and have her violated.
File contempt of court
Stay in your lane …
Courtney Tillman you are a maniac