My boyfriend forgot my birthday: Advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and a half and my birthday is tomorrow, so far we’ve only celebrated one of my birthdays. I asked him a couple weeks ago if he remembered when my birthday was and he didn’t. I hid it on Facebook and kind of just let it go to see if he would eventually remember and he still didn’t so after a couple weeks I told him when it was. Last Thursday he said “we can go out to eat tomorrow for your birthday” I said, “tomorrow isn’t my birthday, it’s next Friday”. He is just now back to work after ankle surgery and he’s down to two days right now and can pick any two days which he has been doing Fridays and Saturdays, with my birthday being on Friday I asked him yesterday if he was still working Friday and he said yes soooo that kind of sucks. He also asked me this morning what I wanted for my birthday and I didn’t really say anything, when he asked before I just said I didn’t want anything. From what I’ve said in the past was even if it was just a card I’d be fine with that to show he cared for any holiday etc. I don’t care to get anything for my birthday, sometimes in a way it’s just another day to me but am I wrong for it to bother me that: he didn’t remember my birthday, I had to tell him, he’s still working on my birthday when he could have picked a different day and he’s waiting till the day before to try to pick something for a gift. My kids are at their grandparents for the summer so I’m going to be alone for the day and it sucks. He said we’ve only celebrated one birthday so it was hard to remember when it was and has a bad memory but just makes me feel not worthy enough to remember something like that then waiting till the day before to try to figure out what to get me like he doesn’t care that much. I’m going to be 29 but ugh still bothers me.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend forgot my birthday: Advice?

Maybe he’s planning something for you and doesn’t want you to know

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He asked you what you wanted and you said you didn’t want anything but are upset because he’s not a mind reader?

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this is insane LOL I hope 29 brings you some maturity

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Not gonna lie , your birthday hasn’t even happened yet and you’ve already decided that he’s kinda ruined it for you. Give him time and chance to do something for you lol

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You literally told him its just another day to you. And I don’t understand the taking off work for a bday shit.

Hell my fiancé forgets our kids birthdays most times.

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Tell me your 29 without telling me your 29 :joy:

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Girl…u are giving that man whiplash…u are back and forth on everything. Agree with several…u have a lot of growing up to do.

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You better hope he gets you something that will last because with this attitude you will need it for the memories!

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You sound like a spoiled child. Men are not mind readers.

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You are the problem here. Not him. Grow up.

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You told him you don’t want anything and how your birthday is often just another day even to you, but you wanted to him to do something this year right? So when he asked what you wanted, maybe you should’ve actually said something? It sounds like he tried to bring it up more than once and you brushed it off just as much as he does. If he forgot, like actually forgot, then just tell him you want to do this or that on your birthday. My god. It’s called communication which is a very important part of any relationship

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Sure you aren’t turning 19 not 29 :woman_facepalming:

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If it matters put it on a calendar or his phone …but don’t say it doesn’t mean anything n you don’t want anything if you do. These stupid mind games we play no wonder relationships break up.

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Well when he asks u , u kinda blow it off how’s he to know what u want if ur communication sucks

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I get it, he doesn’t remember the day and it hurts your feelings. And yes most guys wait till the last minute to buy a gift. Just let him know it means a lot to you!! Speak up woman. He could have taken the day off, but guys aren’t that smart. Sorry your feelings got hurt. But suck it up and if he ruins it Don’t celebrate his!

You said you didn’t care but now you care? You tell him you don’t want anything, but then say you want something? Are you sure you’re turning 29 because you’re acting like you’re 17.

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This is why boys stay confused

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I know half of this crap on here is for entertainment purposes only. SMH

You haven’t dated long. My bf and I have been together a few years he still has trouble remembering. I think maybe you need to just tell him it’s your bday instead of testing him. You guys are adults. Act like it.

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You’re playing games and blaming the b.f…
Grow up.

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I agree with everyone. It isn’t that big a deal. Choose your battles: is this really where you want to take a stand and possibly ruin a relationship?

Guys usually don’t remember these things. I’m almost 45 and I don’t really care if anyone remembers my birthday or not. In the grand scheme of things, it’s just really not that important. :person_shrugging:

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God Almighty. If you want ANYTHING done for your birthday and you say you want nothing and you get nothing, then complain, the fault is saying you want nothing, not his for “forgetting”.

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Speak your dam mind! Geez so what they all forget, get over it , either remind him tell him what you would want as a gift or just get over it! Everyone is different and it matters to you but maybe not him and he’s probably busy , not thinking ohhh it gonna be my wife’s birthday in 10 days :joy:

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Sooooo you’re turning 29. Have only been with him for a year and say you’ve only celebrated one of YOUR “birthdays” together. Hes just returning to work from an ankle surgery…

Sounds like you need to grow the fuck up and realize you aren’t in a fantasy land. I’m sure he will do something to recognize your birthday, give the guy a damn chance. With the way everything is in our economy right now, I think you can suck up not being worshipped and spoiled. The man has a job to do and it sounds like yall or HE needs the money.

Poor guy. Just tell him when your bday is. I don’t get why you are upset.

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It sucks that he’s working? Adults work on their birthdays and on their partner’s birthdays and on their spouse’s birthdays. Their kid’s birthdays too.

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Maturity 101! Buy your own damn bday present and move on!

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You seem to like games, so maybe monopoly or trivial pursuit

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You are 29 and that is all you have to worry about? Quit thinking about yourself and start thinking about others! There are so many people who are going through terrible times and all you are thinking about is yourself.

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I’ve been with my husband 13 years. We’ve both forgotten birthdays, and our anniversary. You’ve only been together 1.5 years. He probably did forget. Then you hid it on fb. You were setting him up for failure. And you’re mad cuz he’s working when he can finally work again? Are you sure you’re 29? Chill out and grow up. Stop being so toxic.

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You Told him you didn’t care. You purposely hid the date. Good hello…stop playing freaking games. You’re a nut case

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Your being toxic. Speak up no one is a mind reader

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You have choices to make. You are 29 and he has showed you what he thinks of you and your birthday. This is a preview of the rest of your life if you choose to spend it with him. Is this acceptable to you, if so quit complaining and don’t expect anything from him because he has shown you that is the way it is and will be.

So wait, do you care or not? Because you said you didn’t and now you do. Or do you mean you only care when he forgets it? Then you say you didn’t want anything… but you’re upset that you didn’t get anything. Are you okay? Are you sure you are turning 29 and not 13? :thinking: You should probably work on YOUR communication skills with him.

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My husband and I were together for 3 years before he remembered my birthday :joy:

Instead of playing mind games and going back and fourth trying to make the man guess. Just tell him. Act like a 29 year old ADULT and tell the man…or don’t. But don’t expect him to guess what you want and guess your damn birthday. He’s only spent one of them with you, it’s not that big of a deal. ANNNND you said your birthday isn’t a big deal, so why are you making it one… or is it and you want to pretend like it isn’t and have everyone else make it a big deal even though you said it isn’t a big deal.:woozy_face: You’re going to drive this man crazy and he may not want to try and guess another one of your birthdays in the future.

My husband forgets his own birthday. But in his defense his ex wife never celebrated his birthday and always left him out of everything. He’s getting better. He can remember my kids birthdays and he’s getting mine down to the week. So it’s a step in the right direction. I personally don’t really care. But you’re feeling are valid and if it upsets you then it upsets you. You can make a fuss about it or do something for yourself and enjoy yourself.

If you want something ask for it. Men are not mind readers. My man saved my bday in his phone with my contact info. Idc lol. I honestly wouldn’t care if he forgot. I’d laugh about it and tease him a little. I guess things like that don’t bother me. If I want something specific I’ll ask. Like hey babe my bday is coming up, anniversary etc and I’d really like I’d you sent flowers to me at work, go to a certain place etc. men do not think the same way we do.

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Rarely am I speechless. :neutral_face:

Tell him you wanna do something for your birthday then. Maybe it’s too late for him to change the days he’s working, if he’s organised it with work. A couple weeks before my birthday I usually tell my partner if I want us to do something or if I want to just have a relaxed night at home w him and the kids. Granted, he remembers my birthday though.

Sincerely, you’re a bit of a mind-game-mess. I don’t think this guy, or any guy would be able to satisfy you, as you seem to feed off of the potential disappointment.
Sadly, You will most likely burn him, and every other relationship prospect out with these behaviors and mentality.

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My husband waits til the afternoon of the day to go pick gifts. Lol. & for years he got the day wrong of my birthday. He does have a bad memory. Some guys just really aren’t good at that type of thing. & some need to be told excatly what you would like.

Go do something on your own that’s relaxing. Massage, Hobby. Something you enjoy yoh don’t get too. And then maybe meet for lunch/dinner. But, literally, I just had my husband think it was appropriate to book a sleazy hotel that I wouldn’t even sleep under the covers and literally police crime scene tape on a portion of the rooms. So ya, instead of thinking someone is gonna do something nice for you because that’s what you would do. Limit the disappointment now and do the stuff on your own.

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Lmao!! Mine did after 9 years together then had the nerve on the same day as Mine to ask when his daughter and granddaughter birthday was. I said none of my business when they yours. Dont come at me either. He’s all about self screw anything else

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He won’t read your mind gilt. Your expectations are false. In a good trusting mature relationship you COMMUNICATE and set real expectations. If you say you don’t want anything, then he won’t give you anything. If you want something, be on your power like a QUEEN and ask for what you want.

Kinda hard to get something you haven’t asked for….

Pettiest thing I’ve read in awhile.

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Just tell him what you really want, if you want a gift tell him. That is a short time and you guys are getting to know each other.

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So are you kicking your feet and crying ? Seems like your hard to please. This sounds like a 2 year. He’s a MAN! They do NOT remember!

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My fiance told me when we first started dating almost 4 years ago that he’s terrible at remembering dates… some people just don’t think of things like other people… just relax… it’s not worth fighting over…

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He forgot 1 birthday … let it ride

My husband is the one who remembers and I am the one who forgets. We started doing an Amazon wish list so we know what we want and can still sulfide each other, and we share a google calendar to help us remember special days. :blue_heart: it works for us.

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I’m really hoping this is one of those post where an anonymous person is just trying to get peoples attention and comment all sorts of crazy stuff. But sadly I feel like this is real and there really is a 29 year old out there head f***ing some innocent dude just trying to go to work and be happy, but he’s got this women driving him up the walls. I mean what man chooses to work weekends unless he just don’t want to be home on the weekends. :woman_shrugging:

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Some guys are just not good with remembering stuff like that… You need to be direct & quit beating around the bush. Hes not a mind reader. The fact that he asked you what you wanted shows hes trying but it sounds like your sending mixed signals to him. Im not trying to say your feelings are invalid bc i get it but just look from a different point of view and give him some credit.

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I’ve been with my husband for 8 years. But my own gift every year, it’s really not a big deal. Stop playing mind games with your boyfriend and talk like an adult.

Yeah this is too much and he just had surgery. Birthday’s are important, he showed initiative and instead of messing around with him a little you took it way too personally. You honestly should apologize.

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I hope your boyfriend means more to you than a birthday. My guy has rembered 1 yr out of 5yrs. I dont care, He loves me and does for me where it matters. My Grandma use to say pick your battles.

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My husband and I have been together for 22 years and he still always asks me to remind him the days of things. :joy: I don’t expect anything though because I’m not a gift person. But he normally does take me out to eat and try to do something special for me. After I remind him when it is. :joy::woman_shrugging:t3: I also remind him of other special days die all of the family. Heck he never even remembers how old he is.

Here’s a thought… instead of telling him you didn’t want anything for your birthday- when he asked, tell him what you really want. Guys aren’t mind readers. How is he supposed to know your expectations when you blow him off or aren’t honest with him?! For someone who is turning 30, you sure act like my daughter’s 13 year old friends.

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Ive been with my husband for 7 years coming this July and we’ve known each other since high school and he still dont remeber my birthday lol some dudes just aint good at that

Lmao I have two sons and been with mine seven years that man can’t remember a date of his life depended on it

Look lol, men are not built like us lol. They will forget birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and in all honesty, they would forget to breathe if someone wasn’t reminding them to do so. My bf lol, bless his heart, still to this day, forgets his own birthday. Literally - forgets it. So you can either allow it to bother you or find someone who won’t forget your birthday, but from experience, a large majority of them still won’t remember.

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My bf and I have been together almost 7 years and he’s never remembered my birthday. He even asked me when his granddaughters birthday is. Hers is 4 days before mine.
Honestly men aren’t that bright when it comes to special days or gestures. If you want something, even as simple as a card, tell them!
Saying nothing gives them the impression that you really don’t care.

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13 yrs with my partner and he doesn’t remember my birthday unless it’s scheduled in his calendar on the phone :joy::joy: you need to communicate properly with him and tell him what you want. Their minds do not work like ours.

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Okay but you said you barley cared about your own birthday

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My husband really does have a bad memory he couldn’t even tell you his kids birthday or his moms or our own wedding anniversary tbh. I just keep it marked down and be on a reminder about it. Just pick an choose your battles. Some honestly just can’t remember nothing. Mine prob couldn’t tell me what we ate for dinner last night.

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Wow you guys have shitty men. My guy remembers everything!:heart:

Why try and hide it from him? That seems super petty. Some people are bad at remembering dates. It sucks, but it’s not always personal. And you can’t say you don’t want anything, but then hold him to what you’ve said in the past about only wanting something small to know he cares.

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Stop being immature about it. Dudes just getting back into his routine after ankle surgery. Don’t be surprised if he gets you diapers for your bday.

Your playing games, trying to be subliminal and looking very immature. Happy birthday tho lol

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Stop playing mind games. You say you don’t care but then you hold it against him. So plan a dinner or something for the two of you to celebrate your birthday.

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Maybe he wants you to think he is workin but really he is planning a surprise day to spoil you :woman_shrugging:t3:

My husband is bad wth birthdays. He writes them on his calendar but still forgets.

Yeah, you need to chill. He just had surgery, which tells me he’s also been on pain meds recently which does cause brain fog. You’re acting a little childish imo, and I’d just have a discussion or put a calandar up and actually mark important dates if it means that much to you

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If you wanted him to remember, why did you hide the reminders? :thinking:

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Lol this sounds like high school problems

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My ol man and I have been together for 5 years. He still can’t remember my birthday, kids birthdays, or the passwords for our accounts or the pin for parental controls on the TV… it also doesn’t dawn on him mothers day, valentines etc. I remind him, and the kids remind him… we’re adults though in our 40s… so idk…

So silly Choose your battles Be happy you are here to have a birthday When you get to my age and after having a stroke there’s more to living than one date on the calendar

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If he asked then that IS him trying? I’m confused? You’re mad he didn’t get you anything but yet told him you wanted nothing? But he’s suppose to not wait last minute? Honey you need to reevaluate what’s important. Give him some slack. My fiancé and I have been together 7 years. When he asks, I tell him. Because he CARED enough to ask. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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You need to find something else to complain about……

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“Lol this information is important to me so instead of communicating it like an adult I’m gonna play mind games and hide it on fb teehee!” Cute :roll_eyes:

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Jim: That’s ok, there’s always next year…

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Actually it will be the 8th anniversary of your 21st birthday. My daughter was 57 this year and her Dad has been asking me for years if her Birthday is the 20th or 21st of the month. Celebrate the day before or couple days later. Will make your day last longer. We have more unbirthdays than birthdays

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Wow!:roll_eyes: Stop being so immature and stop expecting your man to read your mind and don’t hide something from him that you want him to acknowledge :woman_facepalming:t2:
If you’re not making a big deal about your birthday and it’s just another day how do you expect your man to be all up on it??

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I used to be really emotionally immature like you over petty stuff like this in my twenties… It’s really not worth it. Let it go and be better. Life is so much easier :relaxed: trust me ! :heart:

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You have to decide what you want. My husband never gets anything for my bday, Christmas, anniversaries. You either accept that or find someone who will remember. When he did nothing for my 50th that hurt but nothing new. I wouldn’t hide it from him but ask yourself what you want out of the relationship. We’ve been married 21 years

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My husband had to wrk his birthday and mine unless they fall on a weekend or he takes back time he even had to wrk on our anniversary. But it is what it is .

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It’s another day! :woman_shrugging:

Omg lived with my children father he would forget, and my boys had to remind him then the present was always cooking things for kitchen nothing personal, one time days later 10 pairs of :scissors: lol they say it’s the thought that counts :roll_eyes::rofl:

Happy birthday you a grown woman and birthdays isn’t the most important day for everyone .He has work and a foot surgery I means he’s got other things on his mind rightfootly soul.

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It’s 6 years in and I still remind him when my bday is lol

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Ummmm. Yikes. I’ve known my man for 14yrs and I check the calendar to see exactly which day his bday is. Lmao
You MAY need a hobby bc this is crazy petty……

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I always remind mine about two weeks ahead of time and tell him what I want and I usually get it

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You can’t expect him or anybody else to read your mind on what you want and expect.

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Actually you do care very much so apparently

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I don’t even have to read it boyfriend forgets your birthday and I’m sure you’re upset. Let me tell you something sweetheart, my husband always forgets my birthday and my birthday is his pin to his phone :laughing:

So to avoid being upset remind him for a week and he will forget so remind him the day before and yes he will forget again so then say “honey can you go to the store” then when he gets there and he calls you to ask what is needed, mention hey it’s my b-day I would really love roses. My husband would lose his own head if it wasn’t attached to him. But like I said it’s not a big deal don’t get upset and move on. Or treat yourself if you don’t wanna remind him. I buy myself a dress when it’s my birthday.

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Quit playing games! You have been together 1 year and you told him Friday when actually it’s tomorrow, and a Tuesday. Told him you didn’t want anything but now throwing yourself a pity party. Maybe, if you acted like an adult he could of scheduled time off work. Employers don’t give you time off last minute because it’s your immature girlfriends birthday and she’s throwing a fit. Your post was so hard to follow but looks like he will be home tomorrow, so why your complaining he didn’t take the day off just doesn’t make sense. Girl, if you really want to be with this man get your head right before he does.:triangular_flag_on_post:

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