I mean I’m the type of person to hand my phone if they are curious. To me this seems like you’d be hiding something just based off of my experiences so I can understand his frustrations.
12 Likes
My husband doesn’t have a smart phone and doesn’t want one and doesn’t know how to use mine but if he did l have nothing to hide. I answer his phone more than he does and if he wants to send a text l send it for him.
1 Like
Trust is important in a relationship. If he was in a previous relationship where there was some issues, you need to communicate. Going through your partner’s phone, wallet or purse is not a practice in a healthy relationship. If my husband needs my keys, he brings me my purse. After 24 years of marriage, he won’t dig in my purse
Let me go from another side here. How many posts do we see where a woman gets a feeling and wants to see her significant others phone? And everyone says trust your gut. So now a man is asking and there is an issue?
2 Likes
Hes not entitled to see any of your private convos if you dont want him to. He can go be insecure somewhere else
Girl…if there’s nothing to hide, as long as he’s not be nasty about it, let him look.
Will give his confidence a boost. I don’t understand this thought process…my hubby and I have full access to eachothers phones, accounts, everything.
1 Like
it makes you look suspicious! if there’s nothing to hide just let him do it
If he hands me his phone over in return I would let him see. But I’m not starting a habit of going through each other’s messages. Also depends on how long that relationship is. No way do I hand over my phone to someone I just started dating. Needs to be a committed relationship.
My husband can go through my phone and all my messages. We have eachothers email passwords. Not because we don’t trust eachother, but because we have nothing to hide. Just because he can doesn’t mean he will…he was just trying to see if you’d act like you have something to hide.
2 Likes
No but i bet he has lol they always blame when they are doing wrong
If there is nothing to hide let him!
If someone’s insecure that doesn’t help them not be.
Let him see it if theirs nothing too hide… shit I let my phone lie around my kids anyone can pick it up… jus saying
Then if theirs nothing hidden see why he felt as such…this is when your to reassure him.
I think that’s wrong for sure. It’s our job as spouses to reassure the other when one is feeling insecure for whatever reason. If you have nothing to hide then there are no cons to letting him see. You reassure him, bring peace back in to your relationship, ease his mind. It’s very simple.
19 Likes
Trade phones or don’t hand it over. Bet he would not like that
I can’t believe all of the people on here that think you should just let him read your messages. You are entitled to some privacy, even if you have nothing to hide. Don’t let his insecurities make you feel bad.
2 Likes
And to add, 9/10, the person isn’t tryna go and read every message and every private convo, it’s just about the browsing to see WHO you talkin to and if they really can trust you. Not completely invading privacy. That’s just a sorry ass defense tbh, cause that’s your PARTNER. If you need privacy like THAT, you need to not be with that person.
Everyone gets insecure. It’s okay to have boundaries! But if he’s feeling insecure and showing him things will help, I don’t see why you won’t just let him see. However his delivery is also important. I would double down and not show him if he were rude and accusatory about it. My partner is really big on communication and tells me “I’m having an insecure moment, can you reassure me by xxxx” which i love. He’s telling me I didn’t do anything, he’s just having a moment and this is how I can help. I’ll never tell him no when he is so upfront, kind, and reassuring with it. So it all comes down to how they asked and if this is the hill you’re willing to d¡e on.
Should have privacy , not there message to read, if there I secure about something there problem , but it’s privacy end of !
My ex husband insisted on going through my phone; every single day. There was never anything there but it was always something he insisted on.
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years now and even if I ask him to answer my phone or check a text he will bring my phone to me. He says he trust me and feels no need to look through my phone.
Personally I think it’s ridiculous that a person will insist on going through their SO phone but ask to go through theirs and see how quick that changes. I do not think you did anything wrong.
5 Likes
If it is that important to him ask him to swap phones
Say I have nothing to hide so you give me ure phone and I will give you mine and we will both read each others together if he refuses then you refuse too
I understand people should have their privacy but I also know I come from a past of cheaters and liars. I’m very insecure. Maybe you did something that triggered a response of insecurity and they need reassurance. It sounds like you did something that most people wouldn’t even blink but to us who have trust and infidelity issues we occasionally need that reassurance. If you have nothing to hide show them your phone. Tell them you love them and just ask to look. If you aren’t willing to show them they will never trust you.
2 Likes
Than why be together? He’s feeling insecure so instead of easing that anxiety you add to it. If you had nothing to hide, shouldn’t have been a problem…
I wouldn’t let him OPEN messages. Because then he’s violating my friends privacy which has nothing to do with him. But I would open messenger and let him see who I’ve been messaging…
4 Likes
Would u be mad if he didn’t let go through his?? Of course so yea u had something to hide!!
1 Like
It’s none of his business. Sounds like he has insecurities or guilty himself of hiding something
Also it’s not about hiding, it’s about respect. My friends and family talk to me and confide in me about private things, things that they believe are being 100% just for my eyes only. You don’t get to bulldoze your way into breaking others trusts. What they have to tell me is for me only and it is none of your business!
3 Likes
Is he willing to let you go through his phone & social media accounts?
I don’t got nothing to hide so idgaf 
Are you hiding something? 
I’m wondering what your reaction would be if the roles were reversed?
I understand it’s unfair for him to not trust you and want to go through your messages, but if there’s nothing to hide why be secretive about it?
My partner and I each use one another’s phones freely, and if he ever denied me using it I would probably get very insecure too.
Absolutely NOT
Just my opinion but it sounds like he’s a control freak red flag 
3 Likes
Don’t start what you don’t want to finish.
How would you feel if you asked him and he said no? Suspicious right? Our phones can be picked up randomly by either one of us with no questions asked. We know each other’s codes. If my Husband asks to see my phone, I don’t even ask why. Just say sure. Usually it is just something random phone wise he wants to check. But no biggie. I am not hiding anything
6 Likes
Yea if u want to have ur boyfriend stay your boyfriend and u have nothing to hide then why can’t he see? Are u talking sht in some of ur messages about him? Are u saying u have nothing to hide but ur totally hiding something? Because most relationships that are healthy it doesn’t matter. It’s the principal sounds like u just want to be a jerk to him or ur painting him in a light you know is unflattering and you’d rather not let him see it.
1 Like
You just made yourself look suspicious
Not his business, Set Bounderise
I see no reason why he should go through your phone, now if he was your husband that’s another thing
He’s your boyfriend end of story . You don’t need to show him anything
If you have nothing to hide let him read them.
I don’t let anyone read my messages because I have friends and family confide in me and the fact they need you to do that is that they already don’t trust you.
If you have nothing to hide then who cares? You’re being petty
1 Like
Unpopular opinion, but don’t let him. Where does it end? Because I could say “iiF YoU HaVE NoThiiNG To Hiide ThEn WhATs ThE PrObLeM?” about anything.
What if he asked to read your journal? What do you have to hide? What about tracking your location? What do you have to hide? Why not record your conversations with other people so he can listen to them later if he’s feeling insecure? What’s the difference, really?
Letting someone invade your personal space and conversations is not reassurance.
That is giving up your personal autonomy to another person because they aren’t healed from something and struggling with insecurities. That’s not fair and you don’t have to, period.
Set your boundaries now.
2 Likes
Hell my fiancé and I have the same lock code on our phones and half the time I have no idea where my phone is. Other times, if someone sends me a message I ask him to read it to me bc I tending to our kids.
If you have nothing to hide then why is it a problem 
If there is nothing to hide you should have let him look… then when he found nothing you could give him crap. All you did was make yourself look guilty
I use to let mine go through my phone until he started getting pissed about everything. A guy liked my profile picture? How dare I be his freind on Facebook (my brother:woman_facepalming:
) a guy messaged me saying I was pretty and I didn’t block him? Omg:woman_facepalming:. I post a pic I sent to him? How dare I share it with family and freinds? I changed my password and since then I’ve been happier without the nitpicking.
1 Like
Ask him to see his phone first.
If this is completely random, it sounds like he’s feeling guilty about something and is projecting.
9 Likes
This is backwards…usually it’s a woman wanting to see the phone. And everyone is all behind a woman, saying she has the right to ask and to look. If he doesn’t show the phone then they go on to say he must be doing something wrong. If you’re in a relationship, I feel like phones are the most secretive thing. If someone is doing something wrong, it’s all on there. It should be an open thing, Not privacy. You want to see my messages? Go ahead and look. Call logs? Here you go. My husband knows I talk crap about him when I’m mad at him to my best friend 
so I’m not worried about that. But honestly he asked to see them, there’s no harm in that. To get mad is ridiculous. He didn’t go behind your back.
1 Like
I think the going through phones crap is immature. I bet he is up to shady stuff. Tell him he can see yours if he shows you his or else no . I use to leave mine laying around because I didn’t give a f… but I had one boyfriend years ago that accused me so much it was unreal … he looked through my phone every single day and I never got to look in his . He ended up making me delete half of my Facebook friends because they were males … exc. He would “clear” me after reading my messages and be back at it the next few days it was constant . I would never ever be in another relationship like that again… period. And by the way I did look at his phone when he fell asleep and first thing I seen was nudes . Lol soooo he is probably doing something . And this was back when I was younger not any recent relationship or anything I just never forgot . It was traumatizing .
I would be pissed. My guy and I have access to each other’s phones and info but we don’t go snooping.
If he suddenly asked me to see my messages I would feel suspect, hurt, and I’d wonder if I can trust him. If but for the fact that he’s thinking suspicious shit.
I’d show him tho. But I’d be tight about it for a while. Idk
Well he should trust you and I f you ha e nothing to hide just show him .
I don’t understand why it’s a problem for anyone I don’t see the issue why everyone is either being insecure or offended by it on either side of this honestly. My husband and I always been able to pick up the other’s phone and do whatever or even just scroll through the others FB just for a change of pace… it’s just a phone not that serious or personal unless it’s something it shouldn’t be
30 Likes
If the shoe was on the other foot and you felt insecure you would want reassurance from him. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen posts on this page about a women wanting to see their dudes phone and people jump up screaming he must be doing something wrong since he won’t show you. If you love him and want things to work just let him look. I’m not saying let him sit there and read every word of every thread but when you got with him you knew he was Insecure and you have to put in effort to make him feel secure in your relationship. When I got with my other half I had plenty of Insecurities from the past and he has made plenty of efforts that he didn’t have to because he wants our relationship to work. So I guess the real question is do you want to help him get rid of those insecurities and your relationship to work? I understand privacy ok. I do but in a relationship it’s give and take. You may have to give a little of your privacy now for him to be secure later and not have to deal with this at all.
I don’t see an issue if there is nothing to hide my fiancé has my phone password and I have his he wants to read my messages go for it!
but that’s just my opinion!
I dont see why he needs to read your messages etc, id b upset it my husband asked to c my phone, my messages with our children and grandchildren and my friends is my private messages, ive nothing to hide but its principle, same as i dont ask to c his phone
1 Like
I always ask my fiancé to read my messages to me if I’m busy. Or I ask him to message someone for me. We have no problem using each others phones and looking at each others messages.
We’ve been together 10 years now. Never once had problems with reading each other messages. Only time we would read them is if the other asks for those messages to be read to them if we are busy.
Everyone is different. My husband and I have each others passcodes. Neither of us go through the others phone but just knowing that we can if we need that reassurance gives us both peace of mind. Only you know what you feel comfortable with and there is nothing wrong with feeling how you feel 
1 Like
As long as you keep that same energy roles reversed
He’s projecting his insecurities onto you. It’s a fine line between him being jealous and controlling and you reassuring him. Only you know where that line starts. If you love him, as his partner you gotta reassure him and then as a couple find out what it stems from.
I feel if it was out of no where, hes projecting. You have every right to not show him. Its your right of privacy. If he doesn’t trust you then what are you guys doing?
Idc if mine goes through my phone or if I go through his I get bored and like to snoop thats not often every once in a blue moon but I like to be nosey bc ik he likes to buy lots of tools do im seeing what tools he’s buying now lol 
can drop 900 of car parts and tools but doesn’t seemed thrilled to help me save for a wedding
1 Like
My wife has all my passwords and such she’s welcome to look but she doesn’t, nor do I
Well if he hasn’t committed yet,abeg date them all:rofl:
My husband and I had the same passwords on just about everything. We never really looked at each other’s stuff, but wouldn’t have cared if the other did. We were both married to cheaters the first time around so we never had secrets from each other. If you’re keeping secrets just to prove a point, especially from someone who’s been cheated on before, well, ever heard the phrase “cutting off your nose to spite your face”? Y’all need to have a very open, honest conversation and decide what each of you need, and what’s most important in your life.
Guilty conscience more than insecurity
What ever you post is in the public forum. Period. That said, in an ideal world your phone and messages are private. It is none of his business. Trust your instincts.
You have a right to your privacy yes you are right I have my other half halfs password he has mine but still wr don’t go through each others phone no need to we trust each other completely if there no trust no relationship also respect goes both way if he asks to go through your phone or any personal item and you say no then that’s it if he causes a argument that’s on him not u he needs to respect your wishes
My unpopular opinion is that there is no privacy in a committed monogamous relationship. Everything is open and free to be looked at by either party. People aren’t perfect, people are emotional, sometimes people need reassurances. Sometimes people are insecure. It is what it is.
Has a previous relationship that ended due to cheating, sometimes there are reasons for the behaviour
I think if you truly have nothing to hide what does it hurt. Yes I believe in privacy but if it helps reassure someone why not.
1 Like
If my phone is sitting close to my hubby when it pings, I will ask him to check the notification for me… he also has access to my phone logs, because he uses it for calls too… he scrolls around on my Facebook from time to time, because I have more action in my news feed than he does lol… sometimes he’ll pick on me and refer to a random guy as “my boyfriend” but he knows I have no interest in anyone but him. I guess it depends on the type of relationship you have
I don’t get it. Why not show him? My husband and I don’t go through each other’s stuff but if he wants to he can and so can I. Hell I know all his passwords to everything because he has me set everything up. I just don’t see them need for secrecy and privacy if it’s supposed to be your partner.
Maybe it’s just us, but my husband & I both know how to unlock each others phones & often pick up each other’s phones to use it & reply to mutual friends…
If you would be okay in a reverse situation, then don’t worry about it….however, I suspect that wouldn’t fly.
He is obviously feeling guilty about something HE is doing. Tell him to show you his messages and watch how he hasn’t talked to anyone since 2004 lmfao
I’m with you. I have nothing to hide but I would be offended if my partner asked to look through my messages bc that means you don’t trust me
Boyfriend doesn’t need access to your messages - beginning of control issues.
My husband and I use each other’s phones all the time. IDC what he looks at. Bc I have nothing to hide and vice versa. Anything can make insecurity flare up and I understand privacy. But it makes you look super suspicious in his eyes… Especially if you have nothing to hide. But reverse it on him. Ask to see his too.
Well ask boyfriend to see his,then show yours if you don’t have anything to hide
People who have things to hide say no… otherwise why the heck not.
My husband and son and I all have the same password that way there’s no shenanigans at all I don’t look through my husband’s phone but I can anytime I want to and he knows he can if he wants to play that game say give me your phone unlock it then you can have my phone unlocked
If you have nothing to hide. What’s the big deal.
You are wrong! If there is nothing to hide your spouses comfort is just as important as privacy. Choose your battles
Save urself a head ache nothing to hide🤷
here u go shhhhh
My husband and I don’t go through each other’s things but we also know each other’s passwords, if we wanted to. If he asked to read my messages or answer my phone I’d always let him. If he’s feeling insecure, I’d rather him solve that than let it fester and get worse.
If I randomly asked my bf to see his messages and he said no
I’d feel a type of way .
Not out of guilt or insecurity
Just like
Wtf lol
Dump him. He’s questioning your integrity. That’s a total insult. 
I have my husbands Face ID programmed on my phone. I don’t care. Sometimes I’m like babe, who tf is texting me at the late hour of 8pm!!! But, we’ve been together forever. He’s my life. I’m his.
I mean everyone has the right to want to keep things private and I agree the trust should be there but if it was my partner for the sake of 5 mins just to reassure him and then have a chat about why he’s feeling this sort of way I have nothing to hide I’d have no problem leaving him have a look through to put his mind at ease
If there wasn’t anything to hide, there should be no problem showing your messages. He is your husband, not your friend, or boyfriend.
If you got nothing to hide why not? What does it matter?
We are entitled to privacy. Why randomly, is he projecting 
I’ve been with my husband 10 years and we have never gone through each others shit. If he asked randomly I’d be really suspicious
Just weird. Like whats so personal like that?
Yeah I have nothing to hide but he’s not reading my messages. I talk to my sister and a group chat with two really good friends. That’s not his business.