My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for some time now and have talked about my son and me moving in with him and his kids in the near future, but we have one glitch…well 2. He has an anxiety-like fear of dogs that he’s had since he was very young. He does not remember what may have happened to cause this fear because he likes dogs, but when any dog is around, he has anxiety, and his heart rate increases. I have two dogs (3 years old and one-year-old), and they are my fur kids, and my toddler son is very attached to them as I am as well, so getting rid of them is not an option. What are some options that could help us?
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Could you not like slowly introduce him to the dogs like say 5 mins 1 day then 10 the next for example? Work him upto gettin to no them and he feels safe and reassured?
Before you even consider moving he needs to become best friends with your furbabies
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Maybe slowly introduce them?? One at a time so it’s not overwhelming. Maybe give him treats to give to the dogs??
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He needs to get over these anxieties before that’s even considered put them on leads when he comes round so they aren’t in his face
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Get kitties instead 
He needs to slowly become friends and have trust in your dogs before moving in can happen… if I was with someone like that I wouldn’t even think about living together until I know the other person is 100% comfortable cause dogs are not just animals they are apart of the family
I have very bad anxiety with dogs as well - from an incident when I was four … maybe try talking with his family to see if they can shed some light on the situation? For me - I do better with smaller dogs than I do with bigger dogs since it was a large dog that attacked me. Most people I have been with understand this … but I have been with a few who haven’t … I would suggest slowly bringing him around your fur babies and showing him they aren’t a threat to him … that is what people usually do with me once it’s explained that I’m not the biggest fan of man’s best friend.
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Ditch the man- keep the dogs!
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Has he never been around your dogs? I have a fear of dogs too. My fiance has two dogs and one would always make my anxiety horrible every time I came around… The more I went around the better it got.
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Maybe he can see a professional, learn some coping techniques, breathing exercises, ect. Maybe even get on a mild anti anxiety medication. Has he spent much time with your dogs? I would suggest he interact with them and try to get comfortable around them before you even think about moving in together.
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Have him hypnotized or gaslight him with cat costumes.
Jk good luck and way to be a responsible dog owner.
Do not move in together until this situation is fixed. He either needs to be completely over his anxiety or you need to get rid the dogs before you move in together. Otherwise, you’ll run into major problems down the line.
He could try counseling. You could also try slowly getting him accustomed to the dogs.
If it doesn’t work, then might have to consider the alternative and break up.
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You definitely need to work on their relationship first. Start having him come around more and working on doing stuff with them.
Hi, so I can offer some advice.
Are your dogs trained well? He needs calm, well trained dogs to get over this fear - and this will take time. I would do this before you even consider moving in.
If your dogs are happy in a crate, I would suggest popping them in and having him sit next to the crate. The dogs can’t get to him, he may feel at ease. When that no longer causes anxiety, let them out, but also let him know that they can be put away straight away if he starts to panic. Show him that these dogs are in control, he’s in control of the dogs - not the other way around.
Without proper therapy you may never get to the route cause and he may still be anxious around other dogs. But hopefully with time and lots of gentle interactions, he can tolerate your babies and maybe even love them like you do 
good luck xx
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Small introductions consistently with him and your dogs. Do not move in together until hes calm around your dogs. Not only for him but for your poor pups. They can feel his anxiety.
I used to have a literal dog phobia. I would scream and run away if I even saw a dog anywhere.
I’m now 23 and have 4 dogs, and I wouldnt rehome them for a soul. The only thing that helped me get over it was when I was about 13 my parents sat me down and had a big talk with me about how we are getting a dog and I better just buckle up.
I was still pretty scared from time to time when our dog was a puppy, but I eventually outgrew it and dogs are now a very important part of my life.
I’m afraid of dogs and freak out irrationally when I see one being walked in my neighborhood but some of my friends and stuff have dogs and the more I’m around the dogs the better I feel. I’ve always found it to be a good compromise to slowly introduce the dog(s) like have it around for a bit then maybe put it outside or gate off an area I know this sounds insensitive to the dog but creating a distance to slowly allow your boyfriend to become comfortable is much better than getting rid of the dogs altogether. I also tend to feel better/safer if I can get to know a dog if it’s behind a gate or something, I can’t stand when a dog runs up to me.
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My question is… if you’ve been together for awhile, why hasn’t he met you dogs and gotten comfortable with them? 
those dogs are part of YOUR family, if he cant learn to adapt to YOUR family then its best not to move in bc there will always be problems
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Boyfriend needs to go. Will never give my dog up, there my kids.i was attacked by a dog when I was 4yrs old, stomach and back tore up and my chin. I still love dogs !
So the best way to get over anxiety is to live in it…the body physiologically cannot maintain that anxious state for prolonged periods of time…your only options are for him to get over it or rehome the dog so I’d try to help him get over it first before just automatically rehoming my animals
I cant really offer to much advice on what to do but I’m happy to hear you aren’t willing to drop your dogs for this man
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I have a fear of dogs counseling is not something i think would help they just scare me and the more i try to go around dogs has never made me less fearful I could never imagine trying to live with a big dog a little one maybe. I love dogs from a far I think their cute and some I can pet but the fear is always there and dogs know it you could try hypnosis. It didn’t work for me but worked for a friend… best of luck
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Ashwaganda and turmeric capsules
Have him find a counselor trained in exposure therapy in your area. It will work through the phobia and assist in creating a healthy relationship with your dogs
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Just have him go around them in small increments at a time to get used to them. It may take awhile but eventually it’ll help his anxiety with YOUR dogs at least.
Up rooting your current life and moving in with your boyfriend is not a good idea. If you were engaged or married then making concessions on animals would be something to consider but with no life term commitment from either of you that doesn’t make sense for it to even be an issue at this point.
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Maybe he can slowly introduce himself to the dogs. He can get over his fear if he has the right tools. Maybe counseling or sometimes google has good ideas, as well. I love dogs, however, big or small dogs, if hyper or whatnot, freak me out until I slowly introduce myself. I don’t believe I’m afraid of dogs per se, just the fear of possibly being bitten or chased. Getting to know the dogs help. I have a husky, sometimes, when I bathe her or brush her, my mind goes to that place that she might attack me and I have to bring myself out of it. She’s the sweetest and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. It’s me and my mind. I’ve.never had a bad experience with any animal, so idk why I do this. It takes time.
The only real option here is therapy. He will need to find a good therapist that can help him over come his fear. Just like any other fear basic anxiety if he works on it he can over come it.
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Have him spend a lot of time with them. Let him walk them. Idk if your dogs sleep in your bed, but that could help.
Give him some cbd gummy
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How does your dog feel about the boy fried the dog needs to very calm around him and let him slowly get used to him. If not you’ll have to choose dog or boyymfriend
Do you have a close family member or friend that could care for them while you’re ALL adjusting. Maybe give him time to come around to getting to know them while moving in. ?
Get a new boyfriend. 
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Personally, I cannot live with a dog. My father loved his dogs, they attack him and tore his face off, yes literally. I have eneough to do to be responsible for myself, my husband, my home, and my children. I am a christian and God does not approve of non marital sex relationships. I find no scripture that says a pet would take a primary place in my family. I suggest you try out God’s way. Good luck.
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Must re-home immediately, keep the dogs 
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I had a fear of poodles but am fine around other dogs I am getting over My fear by slowly being around them try a taking him somewere he can sit in a room with older dog that is not to hyper and that way he can be in control of the interaction
Therapy to help him through his fear would help if you want to move in.
If that’s not an option Maybe slowly introduce them before the move. have them sit in the room together on opposite sides, the dogs leashed with you. Then slowly get closer and closer as he starts feeling comfortable around the dogs, until he’s able to be around them with little to no anxiety. That’s how I worked through my ocd. (Not with dogs but by slowly introducing myself to what caused my anxiety)
Have him go to counseling for his anxiety and maybe slowly work with him with your dogs
Im not even sorry to say this. I would move on. I will not change my family to appease anyone. Fur kids and human kids are always put first. Im sorry he has anxiety but thats just not my main concern.
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Throw the whole boyfriend away.
Keep the dogs no matter what. He can get used to them… Sorry… I’m not one for giving up something I had before a relationship… Especially a pet
Maybe recommend counseling or try to slowly introduce them but don’t force it either if he can’t handle the dogs either live apart or move on. Everyone has some type of fears which should be respected.
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When dealing with phobias, psychologists often use exposure therapy. Google it. It’s just about slowly introducing him to the dogs
I do not understand all of you saying “Oh just get a new boyfriend”. How about have some compassion and do some therapy. Slowly practice touching the dog. There are so many options than dumping someone who likes dogs but has a mental illness that makes him anxious around them.
If feral dogs can be worked with and trained to overcome a fear of humans, I’m sure the same can be done for a human to overcome the fear of a dog. Therapy.
Always choose your pet. You took them in to care for them for life. A man isnt worth losing your fur babies
I’m so grossed out by people saying to leave him just because he gets anxiety around dogs. Like seriously, where are people’s hearts. There’s sooo many things to do to try and fix the situation that don’t involve leaving someone. Look online I’m sure there are many great tips to help people with fear of dogs, probably even YouTube videos to help you out. if they don’t work there’s always professionals to talk to about fears and all that stuff, good luck to you both 
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Slow exposure ! Go to a shelter with puppies or find a way for him to be exposed to puppies first (with his consent of course). Facing the fear is going to be hard for him and may take a while but if he’s willing it would help!
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If getting rid of the dog(s) is not an option, you might want to consider counseling for the boyfriend to see if he can get through this anxiety. And then possibly do some exposure therapy to help reduce that anxiety. Of course, that would depend on how the counselor would want to proceed with something like that. But I would honestly not move in with him until this is rectified. Otherwise, everyone is going to go through one hell of a ride and everyone will be miserable. And if he does decide to go into counseling, keep in mind that there is no guarantee it will help. So honestly, try the counseling, and if that doesn’t work, and if you really want to be with him, you might want to consider getting rid of the dogs. Either that or perhaps they can be outside dogs where they are not in the house And perhaps in some sort of a covered and heated/AC shed.
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Don’t move in together.
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Google exposure therapy. Basically start with the dogs like in a kennel a ways away, let him get comfortable with that for about a week or whatever it takes, then move onto something a bit more anxiety inducing like giving a treat through the kennel gate. Work on that until it is a non-issue etc.
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I am the same way and I’ve tried everything to cure whatever nonsense this is about but I swear, I’m freaking scared. I can’t help it. Even with puppies, it’s ridiculous!
My hubby ended up giving his dog to a friend who loved him. We are still happily married and he hasn’t regretted it. 
At least that I’m aware 
Drop boyfriend off at animal shelter.
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Get a new boyfriend 
and more dogs
You’re turning your child’s life upside down. How does he feel about leaving his home and moving with your bf and his children? Is it right to have him change schools? Is it fair to take his dogs away? Think long and hard before changing your lives. It’s not just about dogs. It’s a huge lifestyle change for everyone involved. Easy does it.
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Get a new boyfriend.
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Just have them meet and be around each other and get used to each other… There’s not much else you can do.
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There is absolutely no rush to live together. Take the time to get him comfortable around them and then try it for a few days.
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- He can adjust.
- You can stay living apart.
- You get rid of your dogs for a
boyfriend…
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Dogs have unconditional love…boys dont
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Do you have a friend or family member who would take your dogs so you’d still be able to see them all the time? If not then you may have to make a choice…boyfriend or dogs. If being around the dogs bothers him that much and you have no choice other than to keep the dogs then I really don’t think you and your boyfriend will last.
He’s gonna have to suck it up. And if it does happen I suggest putting cameras (Wyze brand off amazon) just so your comfortable nothing is happening to your fur babies while your not there.
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Maybe he spends more time around the dogs, goes to therapy to figure it out and help work on easing the anxiety. Last resort put your boyfriend in the middle of a puddle lovable of dogs Cruella De Vil style.
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Your boyfriend should get therapy. Dogs are family.
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You would think if he really wanted to be with you and your son he would understand how important your animals are to you and would work on getting to know them and being able to put forth some kind of effort to try to be comfortable.
He can get medication for that. If he loves you he will.
I would advise a long series of very short visits with your dogs and gradually involve him more and more with their care. It’s known as desensitization. I’ve used it with developmentally disabled adults but the technique works with anyone.
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If he cares that much about you that he wants you to move he will get help or at least attempt to get to know your dogs… try one on one settings with the dogs… id also make sure he’s not an animal abuser … but I can tell u from experience unless your married keep the dogs men tend to be alot more unreliable then dogs … dogs love you forever
I’m not sure why everyone is so quick to say dump the man or ditch the dogs! Phobia therapy is a real thing! It takes time but his anxiety can be addressed and even resolved with the right professional. Don’t rush it or force him. It’ll just cause resentment. Just like getting rid of the dog would lead to resentment. It’s ok the have both. It’s ok to take your time to make sure everyone is comfortable.
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Tell him to get some therapy or find someone you’re more compatible with all around. Don’t dump your dogs for a dude
If this a man you want to marry and have been with a long time (not some short fling that just seems serious) then you decide who’s more important. Your dogs or your partner… if a compromise can’t be made of course…
I personally will always choose people over my animals if its serious…but knowing this I only have the one cat and didn’t get him till AFTER I discussed it with my fiancee sooooo🤷♀️
Throw the whole guy away and start over. I’m kidding Maybe start small interactions with your dogs one at a time until he’s comfortable to allow two dogs to interact with. Good luck 
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Sorry but I would never get rid of my dogs to be with someone nor would I ask him to do so. Sounds like some dog therapy with him may be helpful. Have him feed them and take go on walks with them
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Has he met the dogs before? Have him meet with them and get to know each other. Fear is a real thing and he can work on it. Just don’t rush him.
Foster a puppy or old dog for a rescue or shelter.
Tell him to take some time to get used to your dog spend some time with them and show that they really can be so sweet. Once he feels more comfortable then talk about moving in. Have him come over and do small things like giving dogs treats and petting them (if he can try) going for walks with the dogs (all together) and just showing him what it’s like to live with a dog and that they aren’t so scary
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My boyfriend and his dog just moved in a month ago. I have a very hard time with dogs and the first time i was alone with the dog i cried all day freaking out. But i know this dog is important to him so i knew i had to try. Just ease into it. I hope it wotks out!
Overnight visits or weekend visits with the dogs until you move in. Theres pet therapy as well, basically therapy with the pets so he can get to the bottom of it.
Stay at your own place! Problem solved !
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Therapy, and maybe look into volunteering at animal shelter together.
Maybe he can get medication or spend more time with ur fur babies so he feels comfortable around them
So as a kid I was attacked by my dads friends two pits. I had played with them before no problem but for some reason that day something went wrong. I dont know why. My mom and the owner managed to pull them off and I was left with a small scar from the scratching. Luckily that was it, but for a long time I was scared of large dogs and particularly pits. As a teen I went to a pet expo where people could bring there dogs and decided to push myself a bit and interact with the dogs there despite being scared. That day ended up being a big lightbulb moment for me. With each dog I asked to pet that was nice my anxiety about it eased and I no longer hold my past experience against other dogs. So maybe some gradual “immersion therapy” could help him become comfortable enough to join the family.
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Also maybe help set up an activity that’s just theirs, he can teach them a new trick or play with a toy that’s just for bonding time.
You’ve been together for two years how have you handled it so far?
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I’m terrified of dogs I was bitten in the chest and hand dogs can be unpredictable at times
I wouldn’t dump him like everyone is suggesting to do but he needs exposure to the dogs while you’re around spend the nights with dogs I understand how important animals are to familys
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Def some therapy around the dog issue for him. I’ve always been terrified of dogs, no real reason why that I remember. Then a few years back when a couple of our geriatric kitties passed, my husband suddenly NEEDED a dog. I’ve always liked the idea but been scared when around them. So I got a pound puppy for my birthday. I trained her. She’s such a good girl. I still jump when she barks, and probably always will, but I am not afraid of her.
he could get over it lol if he likes dogs theres shoukdn really be any anxiety especially around ur dogs…
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All spend time together doing things go on a hike go to a dog park
I had an English Mastiff & boxer when I met my husband. When I moved in, (he lived in SC, I lived in OH)he didn’t have animals in the house & his 2 daughters were scared of dogs. I told him oh well, it’d have to be worked out or move on cuz my dogs WOULD NOT stay outside. Well, he gradually got used to them both (he had no choice) his daughters~ the first time I introduced them they were leashed. So the girls wouldn’t hey as scared, they got used to them & grew to love them
Start off taking the dogs out for walks with him and spending time with them and then have him spend nights at your place until he feels comfortable with them
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He needs to learn to accept them or move on. If he can’t work to get past his fear he isn’t worth your time…
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I use to have a few of dogs when I was child after I had one accidentally scratch me in my one eye (it was just trying to play with me). Then as a teen I started dating a guy who had dogs at his house and the more I was around them the less I was afraid of them. At this point I have gotten over my fear.
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Have short meeting with the dogs and boyfriend. Get them used to one another but do not get rid of dogs for a dude! They are a forever commitment not someone to keep you company till you find a new man.
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Don’t move in with him .
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Have yall tried slowly increasing the time he is around them. Maybe he can learn a few methods to help his anxiety to help.
He should get used to the dogs first. I’d suggest having him take them for walks in the park with you and maybe helping him being able to tolerate the dogs better so he’s comfortable around them
Wait what? Are you lot seriously pushing the fact his feelings and emotions are VALID. How dare you say move on, leave him, get over it… what kind of people are you?!
Idk Xanax or valium works pretty well