What if your boyfriend is not good at handling money? He doesn’t gamble, but He is an Impulsive buyer. He is always short of money even if we make the same pay. We are planning to move in together soon in the same house, but one thing that worries me is that we might have this problem financially, and this sort of a red flag and stopping me not to be with him. He borrowed money from me before, and he still not paying me all the money back. Any recommendations as a couple in financial handling? Make a joint account? Or just dump him?
If he’s bad with HIS money DON’T make a joint account… because what’s your’s is his too. Give him a due date that all his half of bills have to be due to you by.
Oh boy, if you cannot communicate and come up with a plan together even before you move in together your relationship is doomed. Talk to eachother, make a plan and stick to it. Even if it means that you have to handle the money and give him an allowance, at least that is a plan.
Dont do a join account because he will end up spending your money too. Best thing I suggest is doing a budget. Where each of you set money aside for bills each week or whenever you both get paid. But hide the envelopes from him so he cant find them.
Dave Ramsey says money is one of the most important topics couples should discuss before getting married! Along with religion, parenting expectations, and family.
If you can’t agree now, then I’d say it’s a deal breaker. Money will forever have a place in your relationship, but especially when buying a home and starting a family.
It doesnt get better, trust me. Im not the best with money either but I try to make sure bills are paid before i spend money on things.
My fiancé was the same way. I control the finances now. I give him an “allowance.” However, I never keep money from him. He is the breadwinner. I just take almost his whole paycheck and put it into a savings account. I pay everything that needs to be paid and if he ever needs cash I’ll give it to him because it is his hard earned money. However, I noticed the less money he can see in his account the less he will spend because he forgets how much we actually have. His checking account is our joint account and I have a savings account only I can access
Don’t make a joint account you’ll never have money in there. I would put money in a lock box and not tell him where it is… might save you some money there.
Don’t make a joint account if he’s bad with money… then you’ll be out of money too when he is…
Maybe you should be in charge of both of your money. I’ve always been in charge of the money. he gets paid. I get it all. It works for us haha
Do not make a joint account.
Dump him? Doll if you have to say that then perhaps you may need to rethink whether you want to be in your relationship
My hubby is an impulse shopper aswell, I control the finances. We have a joint account and within that account we have an extra account for “bills” whatever is needed to cover the bills for the month gets put into that account and he doesn’t touch it as he knows we would be short payments for something then. It’s communication and coming to an agreement to make things work and ends meet.
Don’t do it. You’ll be broke. Been there enough.
I’d say no joint account for now. And to set up a budget and let him know how much money he needs to give you to pay bills with. I don’t think it’s worth dumping him for unless you aren’t happy with him but to leave just for one issue like money is a bit over kill
I made a spreadsheet for my fiance of how much money a paycheck goes where and why. It works really well! Hes gotten much better!!
Oh boy, there is so much more that needs to be taken into consideration.
How long have you been together?
What things is he splurging on?
Does he have any personal bills as of now that he’s responsible for?
How serious is the relationship?
Run … like crazy . He won’t change . Trust me . I know of what I speak !
I handle all of the money his check goes into my account and i pay the bills get what the kids need then tell him what there is to spend
I say abort mission big red flags!! When in doubt throw the whole dude out fr
Girl don’t do it. My husband makes more than me, anyways has an I pay more of the bills than him becomes he can’t handle his money, then it’s my fault he doesn’t have any left when he wants something.
Discuss and wait for him to start being smarter
Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey…do it together! If your not married, dont do joint banking. Don’t extend any type of credit to him. Car loan, credit cards, or cell phones. Watch Judge Judy and the people’s court! You’ll learn alot about finance issues.
If your going to move in together have the lease and utilities in his name. If you have to leave you have no loose ends. Don’t have joint accounts. Involve him in the monthly bill payments so he sees where the funds are going.
I would just have one person in charge of the money, figure out how you are going to divide things and put it in a joint account anything left over in his account is his to spend how he sees fit. I’m sorry but to many hands it the pot makes for a big mess
Get your money back from him…and then have a long talk about financial responsibilities…if he can’t get on board then you may need to rethink your future together. If you do manage to work it out never have a joint account and make sure you lay out exactly who is going to pay for what.
Run as fast as you can and don’t look back
Whatever you do, don’t do a joint account… especially since you are iffy of if you should even be with him. If you are even slightly doubting the relationship, I’d say run
Don’t do it, things won’t change, you’ll be broke and unhappy.
Dont do joint if he has a spending problem keep your own account I will say I have kinda same issue .I opened an acount for him it was opened in my name for the account at my bank. But this his account his money my name on for opened other than that.dont put my checks and his in account it would be gone. Other than that
My now husband wasn’t good with money. I just sat him down and told him if he wants to go any further in our relationship we need to lay down ground rules. He had to ask me to buy things And we split bills so if something wasn’t paid for he was a accountable. It honestly stopped pretty quick.
I would say don’t move in with him. If he can’t even pay you back after you loaned him money that should show you how he’s not responsible & just seems to have his hand out. You’ll be the one stuck paying the bills while he spends his money on whatever it is. He is showing you exactly who is he now it wont change living together.
Dump him you are letting I’m take advantage of you and it won’t change or get better. Believe me get out and run now
My SO and I have been together for 4 years. We each have our own bank accounts and a joint account. We each automatically deposit a set amount of each paycheck into the joint account for bills. (Our bills equate to about $1300 a month, and we put $350 a paycheck k in) We don’t touch the joint account, bills are automatically withdrawn, and there has been no arguments. Our personal accounts pay for our personal bills, cars, etc.
Over time, we’ve tweaked things. We got a credit card together and added more to the account. We start home renovations, and added a little more. Etc etc. but there were many many baby steps to get there though
Dont do it… it wont change him…it will leave you short changed. Nope dont do it
Absolutely not join account
Make a bill account and a savings account. Tell him a percent of each check from each person goas in here. Tell him he can pull money from savings but he has to talk about it to you first and vise versa. Im sure you both work equally hard for your money. So be equal in spending and saving. Also do the $5 challenge. Show him what he can have if he saves. Educate him. Get a finacial adviser if u can afford it. Lots of people are bad with money. But honey if his only fault is being an impulse buyer work with him.
Start off with saying you found a place and you need half the money for the deposit fee and rent and see if he gives it to you. If not then forget him!
If he is not responsible with money id not be moving in you could stuck with all the bills an then some
Jc Where he lives now …with his parents? …if he can’t take care of himself by himself …or his own apt and his own bills …then he can’t take care of you …maybe he needs to mature in that area before even considering a house ! …but just keep saving …if he asks for money ( NO its for the house )
He is irresponsible. Loaning him money is enabling his careless behaviors. Let him go. Tell him why. If you move in with him, it will get worse.
Break bills down into weekly amounts. He needs to give you that money every payday.
My husband is the same. Telling him the day before payday what is due and how much is how we make it work.
Before moving in Line out a budget. We have a great one on microsoft money.
A joint bank acct, for bill paying that both people put a budgeted amount into wach month. Then each keep your own. There are also money managment programs, learn more together.
Ive been in a similar relationship/marriage. Married for 4 years, living together for 5-6. He is TERRIBLE and is now just learning the error of his ways but he has spent years digging a hole just to get himself out of another and it went on and on. We do not mix our money because I cant trust him and I dont want more of a headache. However when it comes to our home and paying bills, I have money from every check of his that comes right to me so things are ‘fair’. Otherwise he has his and I have mine. It works but its not for everyone.
Ground rules around bills. They HAVE to be jointly met. I would be concerned about the borrowing that hasnt been paid back. Red Flag. That is a lifestyle for people with money issues. Of course, he gas got away with it first time, he will need a loan again, and that wont be fully paid back and so on. Resentment will build up and sour the relationship. Walk I think. They rarely change, but regularly get progressively worse.
My ex owned me 1,000 i havent been paid that was about 18 years ago
Slippery slops…what kind of relationship do u wanna have?
Don’t put your money into an account with him. He will spend yours too. I think get rid of him or you take control of the money
You guys can have a joint account but not your only account. The account is only for bills, where his portion of the bills money get direct deposited from his paycheck and that way he never sees it. That way he can’t spend it. My husband of 21 years is the same dam way…
Honestly I would tell you if you cannot afford the bills on your own without him, don’t move in with him. Just covers your own ass, if things happen you don’t have ti move again.
If he isn’t prioritizing paying you back, then he isn’t prioritizing you. Stay with him if you want, but dont move in with him.
When my husband and I first lived together, we had a joint account where we each put half the living expenses and then any extra money stayed in our private accounts to be spent as we pleased.
Lay it out on the table and let him know how you feel about it. I wouldn’t move in with him until he can prove he will be responsible
Do not get a joint account it will just cause problems but you need to address the problem before moving in together or it will never work
My fiancé and I have a joint account. We can spend up to $20 without asking, anything over $20 (other than bills) must be discussed first. If he sells one of his guitars or something he can use that money on whatever he wants. Same as if I sell anything of mine.
The hell I’d move in with a “man” and worry if he gonna at his part.
Um nope!!! Tell him to save up 6 months rent then you can talk. Because it won’t get better and he will expect you to “take care of his part” with the promise I’ll pay back.
Or do one account for bills only(his half must be put in, before spending a cent) but still I don’t think he’s trustworthy. You’re still out money from a loan.
If you can get him to auto deposit all or most of his paycheck into an account he can’t access, do it. I’d not live together until he could be more responsible.
Maybe therapy for him to find the roots of his spendthrift ways (money is never just about money), then financial counseling for you together.
Arrange with your banks in advance to get your paychecks cashed into one dollar bills. Then create piles for all current and potential bills, including contributing to a 3-month cushion for when a job is lost or disaster strikes, medical co-pays and other expenses, a $400 emergency fund, and a portion for savings for the future)house, education, children). Sometimes when people count out the dollar bills and see the stacks it helps them understand.
Unless he agrees to turn all the money and financial control over to you and get an allowance, this is a battle you’ll be fighting forever. If he proves he can be more responsible over time, you can loosen the reins a bit.
Why don’t you pay attention to the warning signs??? If he hasn’t paid you what he borrowed, he never will. Don’t go into a house with him expecting that will be the inspiration to do better. It may cost hundreds now, but in a house it will be tens of thousands. Get some common sense about your life
DO NOT MAKE A JOINT ACCOUNT please just don’t do that.
One of the top reasons for couples to split is money. It’s a life long battle. You have an insight on your challenges. Respect what you know. Make good choices accordingly.
My fiancé isn’t that grey with money. So we agreed that I’ll manage all the bills and he’ll just send me what’s needed when he gets paid and he’s free to spend the rest (provided he can get groceries as needed).
Get that $$ back
My husband doesn’t have an issue with spending money, but what I do with my teenage daughters… I have my own account (with my husband) through our bank. Each of my daughters have their own bank account that I’m listed on. So I have my individual account and then I have joint accounts with my daughters. When they have bills due, I go straight into their accounts and transfer the money to my account. What I suggest doing, in your situation, if you do decide to stay with him, is this… go to the bank. Open two accounts. One with only your name on it and one with both his name and your name. Have him direct deposit his check to the joint account. Each week when his check deposits, you go in to your app and transfer what money he owes into the household for bills into your individual account. Whatever is left in his account, is his to spend until his next pay date. Before that, sit down together and have a conversation about finances and come to an agreement on how much money you will be taking from his account each week towards household expenses. If he refuses any compromise, I would end the relationship at that point.
Oh girl, watch 3 episodes of Judge Judy before you get a joint bank account
Seperate accounts and pays bill when get paid before he spends all his money. I know my husband is horrible too
Get rid of him. Never move in with him. A man you can’t handle money is nothing but trouble.
Our money system is that we have our own bank accounts and one for billls/household. We’ve done it where we set a rounded up specified amount for expenses (add together bills, rent, subscriptions, gas, etc) and automatically set an equal portion of that amount aside from every paycheck. The extra from rounding up goes to savings or a rollover for next month. Now (14yr relationship) I handle the money, I give him x from his check to spend freely and I make sure bills are paid and add to savings. If either of us plan on making a big purchase ($200+) we talk about it first. Thats what works for us.
Don’t have advice but good luck with that doesn’t sound like your gonna get anywhere with that but definitely don’t put your money in account together cause you won’t have none
You should put your money in a separate account and not together.
No joint accounts and talk about it NOW before moving in. Set expectations and who’s going to cover what.
Dump him he will never pay u back
So many issues here. You need to move on.
Heck no single account and kick him obviously he is not responsible enough to act like an adult and wants to act like a teen that just got paid. Oh heck no.
Im the impulse buyer lol, Im a sahm, he works and pays the bills. He asked me if i wanted to have a joint account with him. I said no because I suck with money management. Do not get a joint account
How does your significant other owe you money I’m sorry I just never heard of this … you are acting like your boyfriend is a friend who borrowed money from you …
Do NOT get a joint account!!
Do not do a joint account if hes bad with money. Take a class. Get with a financial advisor
It’s easier to get a divorce than to get out of a mortgage that both your names are on. Tell him to get the spending under control because it could be your debt one day if things progress. If he can’t get his finances in check now it will only get worse as he ages. Issues in your 20s and 30s, if not handled, will destroy you in your 40s and 50s.
IT WILL FOLLOW!!!
Don’t do it. It will hurt you financially for a long time and he won’t get out of it because you let it continue and showed him it will be ok.
Put your foot down.
Don’t get a joint account and things will end badly and you will be deep in debt. You have to have boundaries it will be hard for him to change but it can be done if he listen and makes an effort but if it ends in a power struggle I’d end it. Too much unnecessary stress you don’t need
If he owes you money and still hasn’t paid you back that is a huge red flag and it’s disrespectful to you. Tell him your concerns and offer to sit down and plan a budget. However, do NOT get a joint account with him and make sure if you do move in together you can afford to live there on your own if you did break up.
It is important to be on the same page financially. I would tell him that the way he handles money concerns you because you have another vision of how you want to live. Have a conversation. At this point, you are just dating him. That is what dating is, finding out whether someone fits or not. He just may not fit.
My boyfriend sucked at finances until I sat him down and figured out a budget. We sit down once a month and figure out our bills and spending money. He can do whatever he wants with his extra money but he sets aside the money we need for bills every month.
I think uve answered ur own question honey the fact ur getting second thoughts says in ur head u know its a bad idea if he is as bad as u say money will be tighter if u move in together I definitely would not lend him anymore money let ur head over rule ur heart what if u keep giving it to him and he just keeps taking u could say to him he needs to see a financial planner and say to him if u c say 6 months savings from him and let him prove he can change them ud reconsider moving in with him but not til then and if u don’t see him saving and paying u back what u lent him then I would not move in
Dump him it’s not your job to make sure he makes good decisions if you’ve talked to him about this and he promised to change and didnt just leave
If he’s paid all his bills before but still impulse by after priority’s were paid u guys should be fine
I’ve been married to my husband for almost 9 years. We each created a list of bills we were going to be responsible for in regards to our shared home and utilities. We have never had a joined bank account. If he needs a little extra I give it to him without expectations of repayment and same goes for me. If I need anything and I’m short he makes sure I get what I need. Finances are the one reason relationships break. But if you both sit down and agree to specific before moving in then you go into it knowing what each is responsible for.
You can as well dump him but I didn’t see anywhere in your post where you called his attention to how he spends or proffer advise or where he failed to readjust. He may just need a little working on. The next man may be Mr. Perfect who might not appear after a long of “exs”!
I am good with money and my fiance isn’t so we keep our personal bills separate- student loans credit cards-car payments. The house bills mortgage, rent, electric trash, water are split 50/50 and we both get groceries. I work less days so I am more available to go to the store. I use the money he gives me for bills and am paying off my debt w it. So if he spends all the money he has left and is broke he’s helped w bills and his personal ones are paid so it just is what it is
I think you’ve answered your own question! 1st do not move in together 2nd do not get a joint account! it is a disaster waiting to happen and you’ve had many red flags!! Do not ignore them! Your intuition is right! Those saying you can teach him how to budget blah blah blah. That is not your job to teach a grown man how to budget! If he wants to try to learn how to budget on his own FIRST before moving in together I think that is a great step…otherwise…move on.
YOU WILL NEVER NOT FIGHT OVER MONEY… Not saying money is more important than… it is not. But you all are not even in step 2 of your relationship & you have money issues. Now add a house, bills, kids… LIFE. I sear you all see the most dangerous road & you’re like oh let me head down that road:woman_facepalming:. The point of being with someone is that you want a future WITH THE PERSON THEY ARE… NOT the person you hope they might someday be.
Joint account but only for bills. Money goes in and you can not take out yourself.
You each put in equal amounts and have personal accounts for what is left of your own check
Might? You WILL have that same problem. Try working on budgeting with him. See if he is open to working on that first
Don’t do a joint account, whatever you do. Your money will be his money and his.money will be your debt. He already un trustworthy. Wont change just because you moving in together. He bringing bad habits with him. Not changing
Dump him! Money habits don’t change but get the money back he owes you. My ex was like this, bloody nightmare with money! He had to transfer it to me to save each month, but then would give me hell half way through the month because he wanted money to be able to go out. Hence why he’s my ex! Xx
Do. Not. Joint. Accounts. He will see it as more to spend without considering bills. Don’t do it. I’d sit and talk with him and come up with a plan together to try and battle the impulses.
Try to teach him to manage his money better. My boyfriend and I moved in together. With separate bank accounts. Eventually we got a joint account. I take care of our budget and pay the bills and let him know what we will have extra each payday. We also have it set up where money is automatically taken out of our checks and put into our savings and the kids savings!
Been married 4 years and still no joint account. Never will have a joint account. He gives me an agreed upon amount for his portion of household bills each month and the rest of his money is to with as he pleases and the same for me. It just eliminates so many unnecessary arguments that way. If you are worried about his finances and ability to cover his portion of bills I would definitely not move in with him unless you are financially ready to cover it all.
Dump him. Financial stability is a must. Especially if you guys plan on having kids in the future.
ALWAYS keep your own bank account, even if you eventually get a joint account, still keep your own. You never want to be left high and dry and it’s always good to have back up should you need it.
I’m sorry but get out. That is not going to get better if it hasn’t already.
I tend to impulsively buy and had to teach myself differently. But if hes okay with it id recommend managing the money if you are better at it. Im better and can work with money but it takes a lot of stress off me just having my bf deal with it since we can see it as a whole amount towards bills and then what can be spent on groceries and then nonessentials. I do all the buying but he manages the money weirdly. Yall just need to figure out what works for yall and not everyone is comfortable combining incomes or letting one partner handle all that. But in a relationship you need to be honest about what you can and cant handle.