Unfortunately about 3 weeks after it happened, she sadly passed away. I’m completely at loss with it. It’s taking a huge toll on my mental health. He lied right to me about it, cause I called him that same morning about her being there and he said no, which she had spent the night with him. Him knowing he was coming to my house that night after work. I can’t even talk about it or my feelings without him losing his shit about it. It makes me feel disgusting. I guess I just needed to vent, to let it out. Because I don’t know what to do. It’s ruining me and also our relationship
I hate when people tell you to “just get over it” you have a right to how you feel. Not only did he sleep with her, he lied literally straight to your face. Both of those will ruin your trust, especially when done at the same time. It may be hard, but if I were you I would leave. He disrespected you not once, but twice so I’m not sure how he wants to just get over it. Relationships are all about trust. If you do choose to stay, just know that it takes a long time to get past it. He needs to be willing to build the trust back up as well, he needs to do whatever you feel necessary to earn it back. Whether it’s looking on his phone, sharing locations, etc. Good luck & I’m sorry about your friends passing.
Girl. First of all, seek individual counseling. Then, seek grief counseling. As I’m sure the loss of her is also affecting these emotions without you realizing it. Have a therapist help you work through this. When you feel stronger about it, definitely seek couple’s counseling. If he absolutely refuses to go, I’m sorry, but imo he’s not the one for you. If he’s already treating you like this over something that clearly bothers you, then it won’t get better. Best of luck!
You will most likely not ever get over it. And if he lied about it he wasn’t sorry. If he doesn’t let you talk about your feelings he doesn’t care about You or your feelings. If he was truly sorry and wanted to work it out he would let you talk about how you feel instead of losing his shit. You deserve better.
Well, there’s no easy way to say this, put your big girl pants and RESPECT YOURSELF! See, life’s so easy when there’s no literal attachments, without kids and without a marriage, you can easily dissolve anything! Why, oh why, would you be with someone that makes you feel this miserable? Remember: EVERY WOMAN HAS THE LOVE LIFE THAT SHE WANTS… If you want to be lied and disrespected on a daily basis, then so be it, but own up to it and stop whining about it! You’re a grown up, a man doesn’t define you, you don’t need him, you DON’T love him, you just want him! There’s a big difference! You have a chance to move on and be happy, but you’re the only one who can DO IT!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend slept with my friend, will I ever get over it?
Naw girl , you shoulda left after he slept with your best friend . Do yourself a favor and dump that loser
You’re not going to. I would break up with him and take time to yourself for a while.
No unfortunately not
Girl… just leave him
Sorry but imo sleeping with a good friend is a goodbye… I’m also sorry about your loss…take some time for yourself and pull yourself together. Hugs!
I could never get over that
I don’t think that’s something you get over. Unfaithful people stay unfaithful. They don’t generally change.
“It’s ruining me”. Your words. Listen to them. Leave. He doesn’t respect you and that won’t change. It isn’t ruining you. His actions…he is ruining you
Listen to your gut it’s speaking truth to you
she was not a friend. and he does not deserve you. walk away. I know it’s easier said than done… but let it go.
“Ruining our relationship”
You have NO RELATIONSHIP
It’s one sided. You are wasting time.
Leave. Believe me, you will never not think about it.
Dump him n the friend
GET OUT of both relationships!! U will never trust him or her again! Sorry hope all works out for ya
Let him go…why you confused…
This has been a year. That’s wild she passed away but she was not a good friend and he should have been dumped a year ago
No one will know if you will ever get over it. Some may and others no. It’s up to you if you hold grudges, if you won’t look at them the same
Bye boy. You don’t need that
Sophie Stathakis Elysia Drizzy Sophia Poulos DUMP HIS ASSSSS
Obviously if things were different id say to move on from them both also, but im sorry for your loss of friend. Regardless of what they did, it was still a friend at some stage. So im sorry for your loss. But i think you need to add to your loses and leave the boyfriend too. He’s proven to not have much respect for you to sleep with a friend in the first place… and to tell you to “just get over it” makes him sound like a bigger dick. Move on love and find someone who wont sleep with your friends or not respect you enough to not lie to your face and disrespect you in general x
A true bestfriend wouldn’t do that I wouldn’t have him in my life. Leave him he’s no good for you your better on your own.
Nope. First of all it is a big deal and the fact that he says to get over it says A LOT about him. He does not deserve you and that girl is not your friend. Do yourself a favor and get out now.
The fact that he liedand now refuses to even listen to you talk about it is such a red flag. Leave him. He has zero remorse. He’ll do it again.
It’s ruining u. LEAVE once a cheater always one. Be happy single until you find someone true
Dump his ass and move on with your life.
Done! Move on! Once a cheater, always a cheater!
Dump him you’ll never get over it nor should you have to
speaking from the same experience. getting back at him with one of his friends does not help anything. you need time.
No confusion let that garbage go. Manipulating you into feeling shitty about it when he did wrong…
Kick him to the curb
Walk away. You’ll thank yourself later
Run… Don’t look back!
Whats to be confused about
Similar situation and I stayed… a year later I am over the cheating but the lying is what wore me out. No matter how much he begs me to forgive…I can’t seem to get over the lying part. Not only did he lie he lies for a year… so I literally cannot trust him not only to not cheat but everything. My heart feels like I could never be secure with him again. I will say this, you have to choose asap wether or not you want to get over it and if you do actively do that everyday cause I’d you don’t it will continue to ruin you
did you read the girl died, after the affair
My fiancé cheated on me the at our 6 month mark. We were technically split up because he wasn’t ready for something serious. After a week of our break up he slept with another girl and came back to me the next day saying he never wants to be with anyone else and I’m the one for him. I was crazy for YEARS but he always answered any questions and took all the blame. I got over it eventually… now we have 2 kids together and a beautiful life. Men do stupid shit and grow up. It’s not true that once a cheater always a cheater, although him getting mad at you for bringing it up is weird. He should comfort you. And take blame.
It’s crappy, yes. Playing both sides, it’s super shitty he slept with your friend but you all were technically broken up. Him and your friend are both assholes for doing it. There’s like a code where you don’t sleep with your friends men/ex-men. Sadly it’s always going to be there, no matter if you forgive him and try to move on. The fact that he lied about it, makes it worse. It’s all kinda of shitty. I’d take some time and truly think about this and if it’s something you can get past in time, if the answer is yes then I’d suggest couples counseling. If the answer is no, then I’d end it and take some time for yourself to sort out your feelings and move on with your life.
Leave him. He shouldn’t have cheated, especially with your best friend and now he wants u to shut up about it? If you slept with his best friend, I wonder if he’d be quick to forgive
You cant get over it…move on…
Get rid of him because it is going to stick with you for the rest of your life
You won’t. Leave. You’ll always remember what he did.
Just go! Prayers for your friend! Which is sad but she apparently was not your friend.
The fact the he thinks you should just “get over it” proves what type of person he is and how disrespectful he is towards you. Sadly, I would chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. You deserve so much more.
Girl say bye to him.
You don’t have a relationship if you let him get away with it he may think he can do it again.there’s no ring on your finger and if there are no kids involved then no ,sorry about the other girl
Just walk away or if you gonna stay you gonna have to fuck his friend
Sorry, I couldn’t help it…
It’s over! I’m sorry! Move on.
Why put up and accept that? No kids involved? Not married? RUN & never look back. You do have a choice, you can move on…
Get rid of the BF and Friend
RUN. I know it’s going to be hard and hurt like hell but RUN!!! If it’s not perfect don’t force it.
Run for the hills. He slept with someone else the day you got back together? He doesn’t respect you at all.
You should just end things for good with him. That’s how you move past it and “get over it” as he would say.
Your mental health is very important you have to let it go … Especially if you can’t get over it and thats okay nothing is wrong with that , everyone is built differently.
You will Be okay …
Leave him if he did it once he’ll do it again and she was never your friend or she wouldn’t of done that there are good men out there you don’t need a cheater You could have maybe of somewhat got past it had she not been your friend and it would’ve been a stranger
Immediately drop him and the friend. She never was a “best friend.”
Somethings telling me, throw the whole dude away
Get out now or suffer the consequences.
This is a no brainer girl !!! Someone like that is not worth your time !!!
You can do so much better. He don’t deserve you. It’s a sad situation with the friend passing… but she did you wrong too unfortunately just walk away from him…
You weren’t together 🤦
If you know you can’t forgive him you should leave because it will always affect your relationship and you can’t be truly happy like that with resentment in your heart. Take time to heal🙏
Let him go. He’s not worth it. Once u let him go you’ll be able to let it go. Forgive your friend because her soul needs your forgiveness and so does yours. But definitely drop him like a hot potato. U deserve better than him. Good luck to u.
Lots to process here. Infidelity as well as loss & grieving. If you take time and space and don’t come to terms with it, move on. Life is too short.
Oh how complicated you can’t even talk to your friend about it either. Oh I’d be pretty mad idk I think I couldn’t deal with that.
Even if you weren’t together, he still lied to you. If he did it once he will do it again. Leave him
I dont care yahll were together…if you guys were trying to work out…then that good enuff for me! And he sleeps with ur friend…nah, I would be all set…no kids either…smh. u literally have no reason to stay…sorry ur friend passed away…but what she was shady asf…and she wasn’t a real friend! And u should get over it! Meaning get over his ass! I’m sure you can do better!!!
If he’s not truly apologetic and is telling you to get over it then leave because he doesn’t see anything wrong that he did and will most likely repeat that same mistake. I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater I do believe that people can change and own up to their mistakes, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. I wouldn’t stay if I were you and I’m sorry about your friend. You need to focus on you and your mental health which is very important which is really important. Good luck to you
Well, you either have to get over it and try, or keep having the burden on your shoulders. I’ve been there with my husband . If we didn’t have a child together, I would have left. He gets mad too, but we’re not the ones who cheated and you need to put your man in his place if you’re staying with him or he will always be that way. Know manipulation and control tactics. Read about narcissism.
Love he ruined the relationship a long time ago by sleeping with your friend and lying. Some things really are forgivable or very least impossible to move past and continue in a relationship. The trust was broken and from the sounds of things he really isn’t putting a valid effort to earn that trust back. To add to it you have the betrayal from her and no real closure as she has sadly passed away. That’s a lot to handle. The best thing I ever did for myself in life was to seek therapy when going through difficult times like this. It really will help maybe a grief counselor. Sending hugs
End it if it’s messing with your mental health & destroying you. Sorry for the loss of your not real friend. But if it’s no if it’s bothering you that bad just leave there’s so many men out there that will treat you like a queen
As hard as it is. Trust is broken. Can’t go back. Together or not, lines was crossed he lied.
End it…what else is he lying about
6 yrs ago my then best friend slept with my then boyfriend. First time it happened was when him and I had briefly broke up then got back together…and it happened again. I found out via fb messenger. I will never forgive her, I never forgave him either but she was my best friend, my rock. She committed the ultimate betrayal. That is a line you do not cross! Needless to say I cut them both out of my life.
If u truly can’t let it go then u have your answer, no point driving yourself crazy n causing more hurt
Nope I been there last year you will never be able to trust either one of them again
First off they BOTH betrayed you, they are as bad as eachother, secondly if he can sleep with someone you was emotionally and mentally close to, he clearly has no respect for you. There are billions of people on this earth, why are you giving someone who hurt you so much the time of day. Heal over the betrayal, grieve over the loss of your supposed friend, and when the time is right, move forward with someone new
It it’s that bad and to me it is. My ex husband cheated on me for 16 plus years. I was 9 months pregnant and was introduced to his gf by his little sister for revenge against him . The only one she hurt was me. BUT if he did that now and you were sorta not together but then you were. Maybe he lied to save your feelings or maybe he is just a liar. It’s your decision to stay or leave. It’s your heart that is attempting to rule you over your head. Once you are done you will move on.
get over both of them girl,she wasn’t your friend and they both belong together,so they can cheat on them selves.wake up and smell the coffee get real
Either let it go or get out of the relationship, it’s not an easy decision, but it’s the only solution
I’d be pissed too. You’re supposed to be starting over but how can you do that on a foundation built on at least one very big lie??!! This isn’t something you should be asked to just get over, he is completely discrediting and devaluing your feelings and that is not okay. HUGE RED FLAG! I’m very sorry for the loss of your friend I know exactly how much that hurts. As for your boyfriend, he knew that was one of your best friends and didn’t care about that level of betrayal….THROW THE WHOLE GUY OUT SIS! If he will betray you with a best friend he will absolutely betray you with strangers. Get out while you can! PS if he has a hot brother or friend hook up with one of them on the way out! You don’t even have to say shit about it.
You have two choices. Leave and find a different path in your life where you can find happiness. Or stay, let that piece go and try to move forward. Knowing you may or may not have a full commitment from him. There really isn’t in between, if we are being honest. Only you can determine how you feel about trying to move forward with him.
You should make a clean break. Leave him and go and heal you. You are grieving in many ways and you need to focus on you, your mental health and peace of mind. Heal your soul, find your happiness again. Therapy may help as well. I am so sorry for your losses (just wasn’t your friend imo) and wish you all the best darling❤️ Sending healing, happy vibes☺️
It’s not “RUINING” your relationship as you said. It’s “RUINED” your relationship as it should have. Sad situation that she passed away, for sure. But he did this to you. He has no morals or respect. This relationship will never be ok and should be ended or it will continue tearing you up. It’s my opinion. You never fully get over someone cheating.
Get over it or keep it moving.
Yea. You should end it. You’ll never trust him and you’ll always be questioning. Been there. And one of the reasons he’s my ex husband
After finding that out you should of left for good🤦🏻♀️ move on
He ruined your relationship. Let him go.
No, I don’t think you can. If it were me I would’nt be able to get over it.
Why do you think he’s going to consider how you feel about it? You stayed, I am sorry to be the one to break this bad news to you, but it’s pretty much 100% fact that he’s cheating on you now
Fuck him off. There’s other men In the world
He lied and cheated. If he did it once he will do it again. He’s a loser. You are the loser if you stay with him. Move on.
No hes not even sorry it was your best friend and not okay even if you werent together i would move on he has no right to get mad at you what if the shoe were on the other foot he would be messed up too
Your not ruining your relationship, he ruined your relationship when he slept with your best friend. Doesn’t even matter that you were meeting up that same day, its your BEST FRIEND, absolutely off limits at all times. You’ll never be able to move past it if he won’t even acknowledge it as an issue. Move on to bigger and better