No boy is worth wrecking yourself over. If it is causing you this much grief, then dump him. A relationship is based on trust. If he doesnt understand that, then has a lot of growing up to do yet, and is then a waste of your time. You need someone who will stay committed. If he was coming to your house, and knew you were probably going to get back together, this was a stupid and hurtful choice to you. The fact that you found out from someone other than him or her makes it 10x more shady and hurtful. Then, when you asked about it, he lied to your face. That right there is unforgivable. Done. Let his mama teach him right from wrong. On top of that, you canât even talk about how his actions affect you because he throws a fit in an effort to shut you up and shut down the conversation. That tells me he isnât sorry. If he can do this fresh off a break, one wonders what else he would do if you do ever get back to trusting him. Either way, his behavior and reaction to you trying to work through your emotions is bullsh*t. He can be single if he has no loyalty or self control. Friends of your ex should be off limits when youâre scheduled to meet up with her later that day. I think heâs mad that sheâs gone and heâs bearing the brunt of both their decisions to sleep together. Ask him if he feels if what he did was wrong. If he says no, you know where to go from there. If he says yes, then you can work from there. Ultumately, youâre never going to forget. It only gets easier to deal with over time. But you have every right to go through the emotions of what youâve been through. Heâs being selfish here and only thinking of himself.
Donât walk a way⊠Run.
Please put yourself first and walk awayđ
Let him go he lied to u and u canât trust himâŠif u canât get beyond it it will destroy your relationship
Thatâs called gaslighting and manipulation. Let him go.
Iâve learned (the hard way) in my 36 yrs of life that if a man canât validate your feelings and have a conversation about something that is bothering you and work toward changing the situation, then he doesnât care. Point blank period. It took me years to find that out. Donât waste years of your life being miserable. All I want is that time back!
No no noâŠfirstly he shouldnât be getting shitty at you for how you feel about what HE did. He ruined your relationship when he slept with her. He ruined it again by lying. Wanted his cake and eat it too. Hes not putting the guilt on you. Break or not you were working things out. Iâm sorry but you deserve way better than him. As for her, sad sheâs passed but I wouldnât waste another moment on herâŠshe wasnât a friend. Friends donât do that to friends. Cut them both.
There is no relationship!!! Move on and get an honest man and better friends
He only came to you that night âto work it outâ out of guilt.To make himself feel better.Heâs gone that low,leave now.Speaking from experience.
Sometimes we just have to let go and move on it might be better to just move on without him.
Leave him. He will cheat on you again. None of this will get easier. Donât waste anymore time on him. You donât wanna wake up in ten years after giving him a million chances to realize he will never change.
You werenât together⊠So you should let it go. But if you canât you canât.
Grow up you guys were not technically together when it happened
Get rid of him he truly wasnât in to this relationship if you want to be with someone you wouldnât do this
I dont see the problem with your relationship, (its toast, now or later) Iâm intrigued about your friend, did he lie to her about going back to you? did she commit a bro code violation by sleeping with her best friends ex without thinking there was a possible relationship to be had? was she willing to throw your friendship under the bus for what sounds like a real âposâ of a guy? sorry for your loss (the friend not the dude), move on
Continue to lay with the dogâŠenjoy ur fleas
All about control, he does what he wants, then gets angry at you for his indiscretions. CURB HIM, he will always treat you badly.
Thatâs an absolute goodbye from me. He did it once, heâll do it again. Leave him girl
You need to leave him! There will never be a relationship. If youâre asking, you know what to do. Plenty of other fish out there!
Trust is a big part of a relationship nd he took that away heâs not worth it find someone who wonât lie to u as for ur friend sorry she past away but sheâs just at fault as he is a friend wouldnât do that . If u keep holding on to him u will never be happy and he probably do it again.
He lied to your face. Period point blank. Doesnât matter who it was. He would be gone if it was me. Iâd never trust him again
Leave for your own sake because you will never, ever be able to get over it no matter how hard you try.
Leave. Just let him go. They both transpired against you. Forgive yourself for trying to ignore it for this long and move on
In the words of Ross
You werenât technically together yet? I would back off as much as you can. Currently engaged to my fiance who has cheated multiple times. Now things are on track. I am seeking therapy to help me cope and overcome things but also other reasons. If you want it to work youâll make it work if not donât push it. Some people canât let go of it some people canât change. But some can and will if they love you.
Iâd leave him and never go back. Thatâs overstepping a huge boundary, because sheâs your bestfriend, and he has obviously been attracted to her the entire time and they acted on their attraction the second they got a chance
Sounds gross and cheap
You will never be able to move on if you canât get pass that Iâm sorry
Iâm actually really sad for you. Not only did something horrible happen to you directly caused by two people you clearly cared about and you thought cared about you. But then to have one of them pass away after Iâm sure a lot of hateful words were exchanged, is absolutely awful. I can see why you stayed. You probably didnât want to lose both of them. But if he is telling you that you should âget over itâ, I donât think he truly sees what he did as wrong and probably doesnât care. I think you should seek some professional help from a therapist and maybe make a plan to leave him. Iâm so sorry, I canât imagine.
Leave that messy relationship.once your on a break and they sleep with your fake friends itâs a wrap! No recovery! They never had boundaries and clearly they lie to your face no trust can be gained from them consistently lying.fake friend,pos bf,messy leave it be!
Throw the whole man away
Imagine someone being upset with you for cheating on you with your friend no doubt causing that to stop then her sudden passing id imagine that all is very overwhelming its like living a nitemare you didnât cause or ask for you donât get over it.
You donât get over that, wtf?
Time to kick him ( I just saw she died) out of your life. Wtf are you even debating this?!
He loses his shit cuz he knows he did you dirty. Youâre doing yourself dirty by staying with him. Because youâve decided to stay with him, knowing he did you dirty, youâre inadvertently giving him permission to treat you like shit because you, basically, said itâs ok by accepting him and his actions. Eff your relationship. It, nor you, matter enough to him. If itâs ruining you, leave. Love YOURSELF enough to not put up with that bs. By posting on here, deep down, inside, you probably know you should leave. Why stay with someone whoâs destroying you? Loving someone doesnât mean theyâll love you back. You canât fix a fuck up. Get out before it ruins you even more. LOVE YOURSELF.
Him and your so say friend over stepped the mark, walk away
Leave. Iâm sorry that she is gone because Iâm sure that makes it harder for you to let it go. He is not sorry either. Nobody deserves that kind of betrayal.
If you havent got over it let then move on and dont be with him anymore.
The relationship is already ruined. He slept with your friend and he lied about it. What he did was wrong and deceitful. He loses his sh*t because he knows he was wrong and doesnât want to be reminded of his transgression. You should forgive him in time because forgiveness is for you, not him. It should be part of your healing journey. Itâs time to leave the relationship and move on. Go no contact to help your healing process.
I would take a break from him. You need time to heal and figure it all out. If he truly loves you he will show you. Taking a break will give you all your answers. Healing is important.
You chose to stay with him. You knew this shit and stayed with him anyways
So why the f*ck you wanna do that to YOURSELF?
Girl you either gotta except it or donât and move on. Dump him if you canât forgive and let go.
I couldnât get past something like that âeverâ
Never allow someone to make you feel inferior, stand up strong, be a fucking warrior for yourself. No one can restore your confidence except you. If you want to be with him swallow your feelings because it sounds like he will never validate them. If you want to grow from this learn that your happiness starts with you even if that means not being with him, it will hurt in the beginning but you will be empowered in the end.
No maâam. Been there done that, and I canât really get over that.
Find someone you can trust, you deserve better
That whole situation is just awful Iâm so sorry for your loss and for what your boyfriend did. Iâd have to end it honestly. There may be love there but there is no trust and thatâs essential.
Just pack da duck up and run!!! Like yesterday
Let the man go.
Problem solved.
It.will.never.go.away.
Your choice now if you want to live that way. Youâre not forced too you can accept it and move forward.
Once a liar and cheat always a liar and cheat. Donât let him do that to you again, cause he will
No. You donât get over it. You can let it eat you up in silence or its always gonna cause arguments.
I wouldâve left, but if you canât, then yeah you need to put it behind you
You need to leave this relationship. There is nothing more there for you.
God will make a way if you pray.
Yikes. It seems like you already know what you need to do but you just havenât. Dump his ass, move on and heal.
HE ruined the relationship. LEAVE. There is no saving it. Especially since he doesnât care how you feel and tells you âget over it.â He slept with your friend on purpose to hurt you. Heâs never going to change. Pack your things and leave, even if you have to stay with a friend or in your car for a while until you find a place. LEAVE now. He is toxic and not worth your time.
First get rid of him, that will help your mental health. Btw he ruined the relationship, not you.
Doesnât sound like thereâs much good about this guy and he isnât a partner. Just think, if you stay with him and you got really sick or injured, he would make the decision on whether they pull the plug. Do you trust him that much?
I would have left. But that is tour call.
god this is your choice to feel this way since you accepted it and seems like your blaming her âshe knew he was coming over to get back togetherâ heâll prob do it again just because she died doesnât mean those temptations wonât happen againâŠgo to therapy together if he wonât speak about it without loosing his shit heâs in the wrong not you there no amount of time to put on cheating that someone has to get over it
does anyone else wonder why she stayed with him if she found out the next day? get over it or go to therapy
Donât get over itâŠleave.
She wasnt a friend, and hes a douche.
Ooooo this happened to me and she married him. Will you get over it? Yes. Will it take an underestimated length of time? Also yes. And youâll never forget it. But cut. them. off. now. Like for real, you have to and it sucks and thereâs a hole in your chest forever - I canât even lie about the reality of it. But it does get better but because theyâre out of your life and itâs not a constant reminder. Feel free to PM for support â€âđ©č
Trust goes hand in hand with love.
Iâd never get over it, ever. Even if it wasnât a friend, Iâd never get over it but it being a friend makes it that much worse. Iâm sorry he did that to you. But if I were you Iâd leave. And also, she was never your friend. Sheâs just as wrong as him.
I wouldnât have stayed with him.
Send him packing. Heâs trash!
Nope! Runnnn
Forgive and forget him
So in a sense he is right. You either need to get over it or move on. You found out only 24 hours after taking him back, to me that would have been the final straw. If you want to stay and deal with this, then yeah move on and stay. If not, walk. Simples.
Girl u need to leave him period, bad for ur health⊠u wonât get over it, it will always be there in the back of ur mind. Why put urself through that, we only live once
Yeah broke up with him he will cheating on you!
Forgive him and move on without him. Thatâs hurtful a friend would betray you.
Youâll never trust him. Just leave.
NO! There is no time limit! Youâre allowed to be mad as long as you want and need. He betrayed you. She betrayed you! He lied and wants you to get over it? He needs to GTFO
Holy sbitâŠmy mouth literally dropped.god bless her soulâŠdrop his ass 10x more of a reason âŠHES a POS
Kick them both to the curb. She wasnât a friend n heâs a tool. So sorry you went through this
I never did. She wasnât my friend but I stayed 7 years like an idiot and every time things got bad which was often I went right back to it and obsessed on it.
Well you 1 have a shitty friend and 2 shitty boyfriend.
well time to move on! thatâs the only way u will be happy!
It truly sounds like you either need to let it go to be with him or walk away from him entirely. I am thinking though maybe since your friend ended up dying shortly after the incident, I am thinking maybe counseling would be a good route for you as an individual
If he cheats now he will cheat later!! facts!! Do not stay with this dude. Run girl!! You deserve better!!
He lied move on with your life
Dump him. Heâs a jerk whoâs not trustworthy. You deserve better
You need to either get over it and move on, which from what you said it seems your not going to. He knew he was coming to your house to try to get back together with you and he sleeps with someone else, shows what type of guy he really is, if it was me Iâd leave this relationship and move on with your life, you deserve someone better than this jerk!
Itâs been over a year. If itâs still bothering you that much it will always be an issue between you 2.
So sorry about your friend. Sounds like unresolved issues with your deceased friend . Plus your bf. You got to learn how to live with the best friend as a separate thing then your bf . Or loose the bf . Trauma affects us all differently . Imagine hating your bf so much for betraying you and then dying .
Huh? You lost me at your BOYFRIEND slept with your FRIEND⊠girl bye
Wtf is wrong with you for saying he had a fucking slip up? Whhhhyy is he still your boyfriend. No you wonât get over it., ever
Nope âŠleave now both of them
Well sounds like she was a fake shitty piece of crap friend and he needs to go - like forever goodbye
No what ruined your relationship was him cheating not how you feel about him cheating leave him
He clearly has no problem lying to you, leave him or else your relationship will be built on you not trusting him on anything he says & constant worry if heâs out cheating on you. Leave him itâs for the best, you deserve to be in a healthy relationship.
!! You KNOW what he is⊠and you donât deserve that drama. You deserve better⊠you are better. Walk away. His love for you is worthless.
No you never will move on from both of them
Okay. But you guys werenât together when he slept with herâŠ??? So like, I am having trouble understanding why you feel some type of way.
She died !!! Holy twist to the story
For me thatâs a hard no. I would never be able to get past that
Young one - you deserve better - he has lost your trust - that in itself a cut that WILL never be healed. Apparently he has no respect for you - as far as the one who passed away - thatâs in our Mighty Creator hands now. You deserve better - you are Not Second to none!!!
The problem is that he didnât need to lie since you werenât back together yet. Once a liar always a liar. Been there
Omg dump that cheater!! N heâs also a liar.