My boyfriend told me his ex was prettier than I am: Advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven months. He is the love of my life, but today he said that his ex that is dead said that she was prettier than I. Yes, it hurt my feeling bad. I got up and left, and I didn’t say anything to him. He did say he was sorry, but it still hurts. My question is, will I ever get over it?

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In my opinion, it’s up to you whether you get over it or not. I personally think that everyone thinks someone is pretty/better looking than their partner. Like for instance, you may think a celebrity is better looking than him. And that’s okay. As long as it’s not a physical thing. But the ex is dead. I don’t know the back story, but maybe he’s still grieving.

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If someone tells you to leave him based upon the information you provided then please don’t listen to them. People jump to conclusions and it’s easier for anyone to say that than to walk in your shoes. How does your boyfriend treat you otherwise? Is he loving and respectful towards you? How did this conversation come up?

I’m still grieving from all my losses and I am chronically ill. I lash out a lot through my suffering but it doesn’t mean I love my husband or my children any less. I always feel bad after an explosion, which isn’t often but still.

It is OK for both of you to feel an attraction to someone who may look better than your spouse as long as it stays at just that. We all have eyes, temptation and desires. His ex is dead though so I don’t think you have to worry about her interfering. Maybe he feels some guilt about her death.

You are beautiful in your own way. We are all unique in our own way. It sounds like you may have a low self esteem about yourself and maybe some insecurities. I do too! We all do. Try to find ways to uplift your spirits. Meditation helps a lot with clearing your mind and resetting your brain. If you believe in God maybe spending time in the Bible or prayer will help. Don’t worry about anyone judging you, just be yourself.

I wish you the best and I hope my advice is helpful and not hurtful! Sending hugs and positive energy your way! xoxo

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend told me his ex was prettier than I am: Advice?

You should , She dead what can he do ?? Dig her up from the grave

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I say, he might be the love of your life but you’re definitely not his. The love of his life is the dead ex and if you stay he will always compare you to her.

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Ugh :weary: girl the stuff we deal with. I honestly forgave my husband for a lot and I feel dumb about it. I feel if it bothers us this much why don’t we move on. Idk :woman_shrugging: my opinion is someone who loves you wouldn’t say that!

Someone who’s sorry wouldn’t say anything to be sorry about period !!

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Trust me in seven months it’s not enough time to see the real shades of colour a person has and just buy that one remark says a lot about he respects your feelings he should’ve known not to say something like that

You’re asking a bunch of strangers on social media if you’ll get over it? That’s like asking a complete stranger if I like Spaghetti.

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Question is, when will he get over her?

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Tell him your ex was bigger :eggplant: :woman_shrugging:t2::rofl:

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I don’t think he should compare you two, but if she passed away you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. It takes time for the heart to heal. I’m curious how that conversation came up. Did he bring it up or did you ask?..

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Why is yourself worth measure by man

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That is so hurtful. It was definitely wrong just curious of the content of thr conversation?? Is he sorry because you are hurt or truly sorry that he said it? Only together 7 months he may not be the one.

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I’d say he’s not over her snd you’re competing against a ghost! You deserve better!

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Leave him. Thats the start of a very very toxic relationship.

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There will always be people that are prettier then you, just as they will always be people that are uglier than you. It’s just a fact of life. If that is truly how he feels he should have told you the truth. I would prefer that over being lied to any day. Her being prettier doesn’t take away how he feels about you.

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Your response " my ex has a bigger penis than yours…sooooo there’s that"

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I had an ex I was 8 years together…he always told me I can dress better like his ex that had passed every time I bought something I thought looked really good on me he would always bring her up and say I can dress like her kinda disturbing I thought he would grow outta that…hopefully your man grows outta that

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People say things without realising the damage it will do to other people. Yes, it’s not nice hearing, but it’s only words. People make mistakes and if he’s apologised, he’s realised that. Give it some time, you will be able to get over it. She’s in the past, you’re his present and future. Don’t beat yourself, or him, up over it

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Girl even if she IS prettier that was a really shitty thing to say. I feel you tho bcuz my bf told me straight up that I was not a 10. I couldve went my whole life without hearin that shit so I know how you feel

Everybody is different, some tend to forgive or others tend to forget about it… if my boyfriend ever says anything like that or make me feel like his ex is in any way better then me, I would be sooo pissed and I wouldn’t let that go… at the end that’s his opinion and that should have been something he kept to himself…. How would he feel if you told him your ex is better then him or more handsome then him… bet he wouldn’t like that… if he cared about how you feel he would have put himself in your shoes and think before he talks or acts…. But that’s my opinion hun… wish you best of luck PS idk you but I bet your gorgeous…:raised_hands:t3::relaxed:

So I mean she said it or he said it im confused? If she said it wtf u mad for she’s dead? If he’s mad fuck him 🤷 plenty of fish in the sea.

He told you she said that or that he thinks that??

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She’s dead ? Well obviously he would probably still be with her if she wasn’t dead , I wouldn’t take it to heart he probably misses her and is trying to talk to you. Sometimes we need to have that one to be able to talk to. I would feel flattered that my boyfriend felt so comfortable with speaking to me on the subject. I would be upset if she was alive and well LOL :joy: but the fact that he lost her is showing he is definitely hurting somewhere, looks are looks , what matters is what’s in the heart :heart:

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That’s so messed up! Get the EFF out!

He’s not the one. You might feel he’s the love of your life, but he certainly doesn’t feel the same about you. And he will continue to say hurtful things. He’s not over her. He can’t and he won’t cause she’s gone.

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Once this guy told his mate (in front of me) get a girl like mine, she’s not much to look at but she’s got a good heart, beautiful soul and she loves me. . . I married that man! The comment hurt at the time, but the way he loves me and the way I feel about myself because of the way he loves me out weighed the off the cuff comment and I know he thinks I’m beautiful, not supermodel beautiful but kind, loving, fun kind of beautiful, I’m sorry I have no advice Sis just a similar experience xx Go easy on yourself, go with your gut and know you are beautiful, beauty is a matter of perception not always visual :heart::blush:

He’s not ready for a relationship, seems like he still mourning.

No and he should’ve never said it. He should be ashamed of his self

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Why even say it, what was he trying to accomplish? What was the point? I swear men are dumb af and don’t think before they speak. Ugh… I’m sorry your idiot bf said that to you!

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I get that it hurt but wouldn’t you rather honesty. I mean we all say we just want someone to tell us the truth but can we handle it? It was…in poor taste but maybe he didn’t mean it like your taking it

Tell him your ex had a wayyyy bigger penis!!!

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She probably died of a broken heart from his bs comments like the one he told u

He should have NEVER said that to you, period !! If the girlfriend passed when he was with her, he’s not with her beyond his control. He may always hold a special place for her. The fact that he compares you to her… I’d pack up and be gone :man_shrugging::face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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I would not, in any circumstance stay in that relationship. Period. You may feel like he is the love of YOUR life but you are definitely NOT the love of his life. Clearly his deceased ex is. I don’t think he thinks much of you dear. He can say sorry all he wants but that will stay with you forever. There is someone out there for you who will treat you as you deserve. Leave and do not return to that person.

Was he possibly joking I mean anything at this time like month year day that’s connected to her maybe? Did she pass while they was together. My girls dad is a smart ass and actually would say this being funny is that his personality at all? Hard to judge thjs question without knowing who he is For my own personal take on this post

How did this come about? Did you ask which one of you were prettier or something?

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You won’t get over it. That shit is gonna stick with you. But you will be stronger in the future

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Nah, that’s gross behavior

Dump his dumb ass!!!

U are special in your own ways,move on dear.u don’t deserve to be compared because u are u…

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Hun u should never let that effect u personally.
U mustn’t ever feel insecure dear.
I know it hurts like hell but put it pass u ,stay strong and know ur worth.
Physical appearance is just a part of it ,its not everything there are probably other qualities that u may have that she didn’t display .

You will always have what he said in the back of your mind and will never get over it… he should of never said that in the first place! Just my thoughts but I think you deserve better! He doesn’t deserve you! KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH ALWAYS AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPY! :slightly_smiling_face:

Turn him into the ex! Bye Felicia!

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Even if she is prettier in his opinion, he should never say anything to make you feel bad, especially If he loves you. Love doesn’t do that.

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The bitch is dead, get over it.

U may be hurt but also tell.him ur exes dick is bigger then his…so theres that lol

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That means he doesn’t love you unconditionally. Walk away and move on girl please for your sake

you dont compare ex’s no matter WHAT! There is a reason it was said. I wouldn’t want to be with someone like that, don’t lower your standards to raise theirs.

Sometimes people don’t think before they speak.
Yes she may have been prettier. He probably didn’t mean that the way it sounded.
Like you are ugly or something. Sometimes it can be a combo of personality, kindness, caring, love, looks etc that can make a person very attractive.
I bet when he said that he was thinking of all of her.
Don’t be mad at him. He was being honest. You guys have only been going out a very short time.

I need context. How did
This come about?

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Kick him to the curb!

Wtaf??? Even if it were true, who the hell actually says things like that???

My question: why was this even something said?! :face_with_raised_eyebrow:
There’s a thought process most people have before speaking (sometimes we forget to filter and I’m not innocent of this) but this is past I forgot to filter wtf I was trying to say

What are you trying to say when you tell your S.O someone dead or alive is better looking than them?!

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My husband’s ex wife is really pretty, like I mean really pretty. He has agreed with me about her being attractive and to be honest it doesn’t bother me. I told him I was intimidated by her looks and he told me that I shouldn’t be because, he also finds me attractive and has mentioned how the only thing that he was attracted to with his ex, was precisely her looks. He tells me that other than that, they’re relationship was pretty bad so that he doesn’t only go by looks.

No you won’t,cuz he already painted a picture in your heart and soul .

Why does that matter . All that matters is how you feel about yourself. Would it make you happy if he said you were prettier? Why?
Looks fade. Or horrifying accidents happen to disfigure people everyday. You want to focus on the quality of the relationship, if your fulfilled and both encouraging each other to be the best versions of yourselves. Not what you look like. If your worried about people being prettier than you , then you are not focused on the significant things in life yet. Have a kid. Get an illness. Live your life. You’ll laugh looking back at this little thing you got mad over. Life is bigger than 1 moment. I hope you come to this realization without going through something . Maybe volunteer your time. Or learn something. Engage your passion and creativity.

Um ain’t she dead tho​:thinking::thinking:

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Lol all y’all need to read it again and slowly please!

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Hes still in love with her

She probably was then :man_shrugging:

Dump his arse how disrespectful

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Nope walk away … You will never get past it and if you stay you will forever think about if your good enough and everytime there is a happy momment or if your having sex you will have in the back of your mind if he is thinking about her… Idk just my opinion… Walk away

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Is he talking to her ghost??? She’s dead…

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How can anyone be a love of your life after 7 months? I’d see that as a red flag. Leave him now. It’s just going to get worse especially if you keep accepting his apologies. Just realize they are empty apologies.

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Ain’t she dead? Nothing to worry about :woman_shrugging:t3:

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So his ex said she was prettier than you?? Does he talk to dead people??? Or did she say this while she was still alive :roll_eyes:

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I read it as 'his dead ex said she was prettier ’ why kick him to the curb for that?? Thats her, not him :woman_facepalming:t2:

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His ex said it. Not him. Get over it babe. All exes say shit

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Get a new fucking Boyfriend

Girl the love of your life would not speak to you that way smh dump his ass this is your red flag!

I would leave his ass. Never be with any man who trys to make you feel lesser. He’s actually projecting his own insecurities

A lot of people seem to have opinions and tell you to leave but the truth is people can say whatever they want but they are not you or in your situation. When you’re in a relationship hurtful things are said sometimes. Only you can decide whether to stay or not. It is your life and your decision. That was a really shitty thing to say and he shouldn’t have said it BUT… Your question was will you get over it and the answer is yes. It will take time and I can’t say how long it will hurt or take for you to forgive him but if you choose to stay you can get through it.

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I have taken psychology for 2 years. To me, her beauty is enhanced by the fact that she has since passed away. She’s no longer there. She is a temptation that can NEVER be had. She will always remain more beautiful then the most gorgeous woman alive. Because she is dead. Dont take it personally like you are. One of the ONLY reasons he thinks she is more beautiful is because of the fact that she was already beautiful and she has passed away. If you’ve ever loved a loved one, like that, pass away. Someone you were in love with or had been in love with, pass away, you tend to think wayyyy more highly of them then when they were alive, simply for the fact, that they are dead. And no longer here. I hope this isn’t touchy. I am sorry if I offended anyone.

Is not his dead ex who said it ?? So why worry

Tell him your ex had a bigger dick. :upside_down_face:

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First of all…. Who said what?? We need punctuations girl… his ex said that before she died or did HE tell you HE thinks she was prettier than you??

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Who cares what his ex thinks :woman_shrugging:t3:

Not right on so many levels how can he really care for you if he told you this and how could you care for him if he is so willing to tell you things like that thats going to hurt you and upset you regardless if she is no longer here or not. I WOULDN’T PUT UP WITH THAT!!! YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!

Move on, he can have his ex suck his….

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I doubt you’d ever get over that. Very disrespectful

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How did that come up
In the conversation?

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Yes, if you let gp the insecurities. Beside she is dead and he said sorry.

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Sorry but it’s done. You will always have that thought linger. Its done.

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Ummmm she’s dead & you’re not going to be the best looking woman in the world. You trippin.

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It’s your choice on how you proceed with this. You need to ask yourself if you will be able to still love him without that thought eating away at you? Because something like that is hard to brush off. If you’re able to work past it then do what you fee is right for YOU. Personally if it was me I’d leave. Because if he loved me at all, he would never think that way or even vocalize it if he truly did.

Take your time . He should come to you Fam.

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Girl u is not the prettiest girl in the world someone looks better then the prettiest girl :100:. Get over it it’s to many women in the world to be worried about something u can’t control… I’m sure it’s tons of men u know looks better then him

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You get mad at him because of the ex’s opinion of you, who is deceased?! Wow… he needs to :running_man::running_man::running_man:

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I’m my honest opinion and from experience with dating a man with a deceased wife.

They will miss them. It was not their choice to lose their partner. They have unresolved feelings, and don’t know how to process them. Sometimes they may make sporadic comments.

I’m not saying that what he did was right or fair it’s never a nice feeling to be compared to anyone or anything.

Voice your concerns to him and say;

I didn’t appreciate it when you said xxx

This is how it made me feel…

What made you say xxx

How do we move forward from this.

You can either form solutions or you can create more problems.

Good luck and feel free to DM me if you would like to talk about it :rosette::orange_heart:

It will pass. Love isn’t on the outside. I hope she was prettier on the outside because it means she won’t of had as much beauty as you on the inside. Time will heal your doubt. There will always be prettier and hotter women but there won’t be as many that are as loving and caring and kind as you.

Oh my goodness.,…maybe she was…how to handle it is sit him down tell him that it bothers you and you don’t want to be compared to her or anyone else ! Give it a try you say he is the love of your life well communication is the foundation to any relationship ! Then if it doesn’t change move on…

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Well for 1… you said she’s dead so it shouldn’t matter. And 2… everyone’s views of attractiveness are different. There is always gonna be people who think there’s others prettier than you. That’s just life and something you’re gonna have to live with. Unless you truly believe you’re the most beautiful woman in the world and nobody can think differently. I’m sorry but I think you’re overreacting. If my husband told me he thinks one of his ex’s is prettier than me, I would be okay with it. Because I know a couple of them actually are. And because he’s with me and not them for a reason. And obviously it doesn’t have anything to do with who’s prettier.

Why would even say that if she she’s dead even do if she’s dead that’s so mean too say girl I say move on

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He is still mourning her. He was looking for someone to replace her. No one can replace anyone as everyone is beautiful or have a given character of their own. I’m sure time will heal him

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How you gone ask us? We don’t know, will you?

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You can’t take back words that have been spoken. As long as you stay with him that will always be in the back of your mind. He also basically told you he is comparing you to her. Now you have to ask yourself… is that something YOU can get over? No one can answer that but YOU

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Who knows but let the dead be the prettiest thing in the world. Sheesh.