Boyfriend of a year hasn’t introduced us to his family but wants to be stepdad status to my kids mainly a say so on punishments giving many excuses of why we haven’t met his family obviously a red flag my question is, am I wrong for saying bs and his doesn’t get stepdad rights?
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Really? He only wants to be a step dad to punish your kids? Am i reading this right? Are you hearing yourself?? Ffs.
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First of all a year isn’t anything, and he wants punishment and say so rights I think not. Too many women now a days letting their boyfriend’s take over daddy rolls and end up in hot water. Why haven’t you met his family I think that’s weird and until you do I would say I think not. Please use your mom head about this.
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Mainly for punishing rights?! That’s a hell nah. Being a step parent isn’t about control and punishing your children. It’s to be there to guide them, teach them things, be a role model etc. If the first thing that comes to his mind is able to punish the children, then girl, you need to nope outta that situation and RUN. Screw meeting his family. Being able to punish is a whole red flag store and don’t let it go unnoticed!!!
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Aboustlerley positively 100% a big NO specialty cause you been dating a year and havent meet any of his family big red flag in my opinion
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NOPE! He is the BOYFRIEND NOT THE PARENT! That shit wouldn’t fly in my house, Iam REMARRIED and My husband was made to clearly understand, IAM THE PARENT, if there’s an issue YOU bring it to Me. Too many women are allowing this shit, and children are being killed.
You need to hit the road. If you are already saying red flag why are you still there??? And your not married so no he don’t get stepdad rights.
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Wait…what?? He, that’s a no.
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There may be a reason he doesn’t want you to meet his family. Maybe he cut ties because they are toxic. I’d ask him directly what’s causing him to keep you from meeting his family. Maybe it’s more in-depth than you realize and he struggles with a family that isn’t good to him or for him.
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Parenting is establishing boundaries it’s not about being allowed to “punish them”. He sounds narcissistic especially if you haven’t met his family
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I think a lot of info is left out of this…
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I’ve been married to my husband almost 6 yrs and haven’t met his family. He got stepdad status. (We’re a military family and his family is states away).
Umm no!!! He’s only been around for a year n no man nor woman who isn’t their biological or adoptive or foster parent should ever discipline someone else’s child… you’re not wrong at all n tbh I would dump his ass so fast
Step dad = mom’s husband. Since you aren’t married the answer is no.
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Uhhhh run the other way! Kids deserve someone better than this!
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Oh hell no, huge red flag 
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He’s wanting stepdad rights just so he can punish them? Like that’s why he wants them? Girl leave him.
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Im going to say my boyfriend has basically become a step dad to my kids and we’ve been together a little over a year but before jumping on me let me explain. My kids chose themselves about calling him dad as well. My boyfriend and I and my kids have lived together since November. Sister is due in less than 5 weeks. He does help discipline them but he also does many other things with them and for them. My ex husband still is in the picture and he is remarried and she has always had the same type things before they were married. I honestly just met all his family but it hasn’t been because he didn’t want me too it had to do with all the crazy that has been going on in our lives…and it was mostly on their end about struggling to come around to the idea of us having a baby
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He can’t be a stepdad unless you are married to him.
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Kinda weird he wants to be step dad so he can inforce punishments. Thats your job. How he gonna be a step dad when his family would become yours, and your kids haven’t even met his side of the family. Sounds controlling and oh yeah a BIG red flag
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I’m not sure if I did understand this !! He wants to be a step dad to punish your kids???! And you are thinking about lt ?! And want our opinions?! No no no
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Not meeting his family is definitely something to think about. But he wants stepdad rights for punishment? That’s what he’s thinking of? Why? That seems way more off to me about this honestly.
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What?? That’s what he said ? He needs to work on being their friend first.
No marriage. Not a step dad.
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Nope. No say in disciplining until they show your children love first. Otherwise it’s just them being mean!
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He wants to be considered step dad because to him that means he gets to punish your kids? He only wants to be in your kids lives to punish him. Why are you with him?
Plus there’s no such thing as “step dad rights”. He needs to earn your children’s respect, trust & love. You’re still the parent. Nobody gets to jump in they’re lives just to punish them.
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My husband now met my daughter after I had her and took her in right away he’s been her daddy since she was 2 months but met her alittle before. She’s now 4 almost 5 and our daughter together is almost 2 but he never wanted to punish her for anything. We just got married 7 months ago but have been together going on 5 years. I’d definitely say that’s a red flag. Tell him in order to be anything yall need to meet his family first. My husbands family I met within the first month and they were great then now there all kicked out of our lives 
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Nuh uh that’s a no go
No step dad rights until you are married or have known him for minimum of 2 years and his family
Totally not in the wrong for saying no! Everything sounds really wrong in just this post.
- He wants to be granted control over punishment.
- He hasn’t had you all meet his family.
- Have you honestly thought of how odd that connection is that he hasn’t had you meet them and then also wants to control your children??
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Psycho…next! Wtf not because he loves them and you and wants to be a family???ummm, that’s gonna be a BIG No!
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I wouldn’t have even brought him around the kids at all if I didn’t know everything about him. It screams red flag. Be careful!
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This whole post scares me. Big red flags. Break it off girl.
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No no and abain… absolutely no!
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Why are you with a guy that wants to punish your kids ? This is horrible. Your the mother and should be the only one punching your kids. He sounds like a nut case of a guy. Be careful. So may guys hurt children or kill them. BIG RED FLAG. Better find someone else.
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So he wants to be able to punish your children but you can’t meet his family? That’s a big no!
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They are YOUR children so you have every right to call BS and decide if or when your partner receives “step-parent” status! If you have even the slightest doubt about anything when it comes to agreeing on it, DON’T DO IT. Trust your gut instinct and make the decision that is best for you and your children. If he’s a good man, he’ll respect your decision but I think you already know the answer hun. You and your babies come FIRST.
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As soon as I read punishments, I was like NOPE. Put your kids first always. Any title of parent is earned not just given. How can he ask to be a stepparent and he’s not even sharing his whole life with you yet? Like you haven’t met his family and he expects you to share yours? Red flag 
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If you read your own post you might realize you don’t trust him and don’t want him disciplining your children. Listen to your little voice. It talks to you for a reason.
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Nope not at all there are boun that need to be established.
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Your intuition Is always right listen to that and stay firm. No way
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Yeah no ! Maybe if you guys had been together for like 6 or 7 years it sounds like forever but it’s still not long enough lol
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To punish your child 
yeah no not happening. And you havent even been introduced… weird, but if he ever has any issues with your child then he can let you know if you feel like the child needs punishment you do so yourself
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Say NO and protect your kids.
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Ummm. Not judging but why didn’t you meet the family before he met your kids? I have always met family before anyone’s met my kids so that I have a better idea of who is going to be around my kids? Honestly I wouldn’t let him “be stepdad”… you’re not married. He’s made no real commitment to you or the kids… why should he get a say in things?
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Absolutely not. A year isn’t even that long. He has no right to punish your children. If a boyfriend even wanted to punish my children, he would be gone. That just seems too weird and controlling.
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Maybe she needs as many people as she can get to tell her the truth she already knows in her heart. It’s hard to dump a man. Maybe we need to tell her no matter how hard it is she deserves a man who loves her and her kids and shows it by giving love, not by withholding relations with family (without a reason) and requesting a right to punish. I don’t believe in punishment anyway. Boundaries can be set by providing a loving and well-behaved environment. Once you have that punishment is rarely if ever needed.
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Why is he wanting to be stepdad just to punish your kids? Girl no…
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Definitely a BIG REDFLAG. Also as a child of a parent who brought someone into their lives like a “stepdad” but actually wasn’t I never had any respect for him because he thought just because he was the adult what he said goes when he wasn’t anyone to me and he abused that power. One of the reason I moved at 16 and didn’t talk to my mother for 10 years. They are your kids not his so he has no right or say in any type of punishment. That’s a big red flag there as well because he wants a say in Punishments.
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Hes not a stepdad until he marry you. I wouldn’t even consider that status until I was married to the man. Even then, absolutely no say so when it comes to punishing
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Why so he can beat on your kids?! He doesn’t need to be anything other than a “care taker” until you two are married. A little baby was killed here recently where I live by her mothers bf whom she called the kids “step dad” I’ve also been through a horrible situation myself with “stepdads” and nah he doesn’t have any right to discipline your children unless you’re married.
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He wants to punish YOUR children…Hell NO…I don’t even let my children’s father punish our 4 year old because he insists he 'needs his ass beaten '…
Hell no. Protect them kids
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Why are you taking the time to write this instead of getting your kids far away from him?
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No man is punishing my child but her dad!
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Fuckkkkkk thatttttttt. Wanna be part of my family??? Make me a part of yours…
I mean I see the red flag. But I dont introduce anyone to my crazy family. It took me months to introduce my boyfriend to my mom. Idk his family besides like two of sisters and his birth dad. I didn’t mean his step mom (that he doesn’t talk to) until I had our child in 2019. We’ve been together since the end 2017. Some people just don’t wanna introduce you to their crazy family.
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Um no, he should not be doing any discipline unless Hes around YEARS not just one
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I have been married to my 2nd husband for over 25 years. He has been a fantastic father to my oldest son and our son together. He is a loving patient man. I told him before we moved in together if he ever put his hands on my kid I would beat him with a cast iron pan when he went to sleep. NO ONE PUTS A HAND ON MY KIDS. Why TF haven’t you met his family? This has red flags all over it. I dated my 2nd husband for a year before he ever even met my kid. I needed to be sure it was going to be forever so I didn’t keep bring Rando’s in and out of his life. Stop it,and tell him to GTFOH.
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That sounds like a big red flag in my opinion! It sounds weird to me that you say he wants step dad rights mainly so he can have say so in punishments! It just brings to mind for me all these innocent babies, children, etc that have lost their lives due to boyfriends/ girlfriends of their parents.
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ahhhhhhhh noooooooooo! 
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Is THIS where you want to see your kids names?
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If you have to ask you already know. Get him away!
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If he wants it so he can discipline YOUR children and that’s basically it do you really need an answer 
poor kids
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Red flags everywhere get rid of him fast. This guy is a total
Loser and I am betting he is as a buster or molester.the children are yours and he has no rights whatsoever. GET RID OF HIM FAST!!!
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Idk i have the say in punishments always with my children. Just like my bf of 4 years has the say for his. They have to respect us. But my bf wont ever be spanking my children. And if i dont agree with something he says then i speak up. Im my childrens voice and i decide ultimately.
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At the end of the day the punishment of the children come from you, if you’re comfortable with him having a say then that’s your decision, my personal opinion I wouldn’t allow that at all, it also depends on the relationship with the children and him, if it’s great and you’re happy to go for it but if you want to meet the family first tell him
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His main concern is to be able to administer punishments?
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Your the momma you get to make that a thing or not if you feel like not doing it then don’t
Wants to be step-dad Oh well tell him put a ring on it …
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He wants to punish your kids and you’re asking here? You’re allowing him to punish your kids, He hates your kids clearly if only dream he has to punish them. He seems sadist and wants to do it “legally” to hide his devils inside.
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Okay…but…she never said he wanted to spank or beat her kid…just HELP her with punishments. .maybe that meant he wants to help talk with her about things he feels would help the child understand something better or maybe to allow her a break and be able to help out and he wants to know if he’s allowed to put said child in time out and such? Yes the not meeting his family yet can be strange and she should definitely listen to her heart about when to allow things for her child and bf…but she never said he was a bad guy and everyone is completely shaming him without all the details of what she meant…maybe he has shut his family out…or maybe his family is abusive, addicts, rude/judgemental, toxic or anything along those lines…and he doesn’t want her to have to see that side of his family yet or he isn’t ready to share that toxicity with her . Yes I agree with waiting until your comfortable and at least have a valid reason for not meeting them(he’s shut them out of his life) or until you meet them. But maybe all the guy wanted to do was help her and everyone is taking it wrong? ALSO she never said he ONLY wants to be ‘step dad’ for punishing rights…maybe that’s just how it came across
If he’s shady, cut him out…
Sounds like he shouldn’t be getting wife privileges either
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That’s a hard hell no he didn’t
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The definition of a step- dad, is the man who marries the mother. So I’m confused, is this his way of proposing?
He’s NOT their step-dad. Hes only your boyfriend.
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He wants to be step dad just so he can punish your children… not because he loves them, wants to be a wonderful role model, wants to be their safe place or their biggest cheerleaders in life. I think your problems are far bigger than meeting his family.
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He earns Stepdad rights by marrying their mom. A big red flag that he wants to be a Stepparent to enforce punishment.
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Wait a min all these comments saying dump it or get out ect ect and not knowing any other info is sad ppl. Yall living to gether? His house or yours?..IF im saying. IF yall are living together and are in HIS house then yes he has right to say what goes on in his house. Ok im sure he working paying bills are you?
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No way! And you are still with him?
In my opinion.
Hes a boyfriend. For a year. No. He has no rights. I wouldnt even let him discipline my kids. Nah.
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Step dad only get the title when they marry the mother. The fact that you’ve been together for a year and haven’t met his family should be a big red flag.
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So your boyfriend wants step dad rights so he can punish your children and your still with him:woman_shrugging:
I didn’t realise being a step parent gives you automatic rights to punish a child. Why dont you do right by your children and fuck him off or is getting dick more important, because aint nobody punishing my children.
Get the fuck outta there
If you don’t leave this man alone
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He’s your boyfriend. Why would he get rights he hasn’t earned?
Umm you need to reread what you wrote. He has no right to punish your kids.
Nope dont do it he only wants to be stepdad to help have a say so in there punishment absaloutly not !x
I think the term step Dad gets used alot…when really, he’s just your boyfriend. I don’t care if I’ve been with someone a year or 11, if my child needs disaplining, I’m there, no need for anyone other than me!
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A boyfriend is not a stepfather and he has no right to have a say in a child’s life and I would be pretty worried if I haven’t met or spoked to my boyfriend’s family after a year
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Step dad involves a whole marriage doesn’t it? Red flags girl runnn
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If your not married then he is just your boyfriend nothing to your child except a adult Male Figure IN or OUT of there life you say you haven’t met any one in his family what is he hiding who is he ashamed of his FAMILY or YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN
Big huge red flag…NOPE !!
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Uummm…wtf? He wants to be stepdad to have a say on punishment? My kids stepdad became their stepdad after 6 years together . …and even after we married he never got a day in the discipline of my kids. He knew if he ever touched them it would be on
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Hes only a bf
Thats it. Bfs come and go. A stepfather is a man who makes a commitment to be more than that. And still should really have no right to discipline them. You are their mom, and he should have your back & put up a united front, not be the punisher.
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You r NOT WRONG YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN I APPLAUD YOU SO MANY WOMEN HAVE THEIR BABIES CALLING EVERY TOM DICK & HARRY DADDY ITS NICE TO KNOW U HAVE MORALS AND VALUES. UR A GOOD MAMA
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Hell no! His first act in wanting to be a step dad is so he can be involved in thier punishments!!??? That has weirdo written all over it! Yes discipline comes with parenting but it should always be mainly up to the natural parent.
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I mean if he’s legit only reason or main reason he wants to be step dad is to punish your kids then that’s a hugeeee red flag!! Also I don’t think he should be step dad or even in your children’s lives if he’s never introduced you or your children to his family I think that’s anit werod
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You are absolutely right. Follow your gut. Something isn’t right.
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Giiiirl. You know deep within you that if you had to ask its a crock of shit. Get rid of him NOW