Let him alone…… move on
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I can relate to this. I don’t have a strong family connection, but my husband does…not to this extreme though. I have to admit, I do get jealous at times. I also have a 17 year old son, so when I think about it from a mother’s perspective, I would love it if my son came to visit me all the time as an adult. But, from the wife’s perspective, I don’t like it! LOL I know that doesn’t help at all. I do like the suggestion of going with him that others have commented. Anyway, good luck. And who knows, maybe this is just a phase that will pass as your children get older.
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This happened to my son. He was very close with me but the woman he chose to lay down with and have kids with and marry can’t stand her family. I haven’t seen my son in a year. He moved to NC with her and she has made me seem like the enemy. If I was him I would run the other way
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I think your feelings are valid. If I was in your situation I’d feel the same way. With that being said, his desire to spend hours a day with his family is also valid simply because it’s what he wants. You shouldn’t ask him to reduce the amount of time he spends with his family simply because he’ll resent you for it. I think you should find a guy who prioritizes time with you and your bf should find a woman who is ok with his desire to spend so much time with his family. You two want different things and there’s nothing wrong with those thing. You’re just not a match.
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You need to have a serious word with yourself. He has the rest of his life with you if it works out, he has the rest of her life with her. Mum’s come b4 anything, that’s how I see it. I literally thought I was reading something my ex would have said. I spent alot of quality time with my mum and he hated it, I didn’t really listen nor did he come b4 her. Now he is long gone and remarried. Mum’s come 1st, either try and involve yourself or rethink your approach coz u won’t win this one.
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Sounds like you are jealous of his family connection. Get used to it he won’t change this for you
Y’all aren’t married so it doesn’t mean your his priority that’s when you get married then he should put you above his family but not as a girlfriend
You have to ultimately decide what works for YOU. It’s ok, if him investing more time into his family than you and your son, doesn’t work for you. Is he neglecting you and your son? Or are you just not used to the type familial dynamic? Is he spending more time and energy into his mother than into you and your little family? Or is he balancing everything well….you just want more? Can you join him there a couple times a week so you feel included? Is his family good to you and your son?
You may find an incredible support system with his family as you all bond and get to know each other. This could expand your own experience of family.
You ultimately need to decide what works best for YOU! Do not abandon yourself and your needs for another person no matter how much you love them! BUT….also, give yourself an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone and connect with a family dynamic that you may not be used to. You may find that you grow immensely as a human through family connection.
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That’s the opposite with me and my husband I want to see my parents and sister and nieces more times than once a year and so they can see their grandbabies more and wish we lived closer,he thinks where we live to where they live is too far but its not really that far. I was always at my mammaw and pappaws house when I was growing up but of course they lived down the road from us.
If I were you, I would go with him. Maybe you would get to know them better. You might see why he wants to visit so much.
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my husband and I are home wayyyyy more than we are out seeing family but we are home bodies lol.
Do you know FOR CERTAIN he is at his parents house? I’d suspect not. If he IS at his Mom’s, I’d be out the door. He can just live with mommy.
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If I were you, I would pick and choose your battles, because parents aren’t here forever, I know all too well, don’t make him feel bad for going to spend as much time with his family as he possibly can, because in reality he will get more time with you versus them because they won’t always be here. Tomorrow’s not promised to any of us, always remember that. Maybe you should try bending a little, that way when he sees you do that, he may do the same in some areas.
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I don’t think you can change that situation to your advantage without resentment. Good luck though
He needs to know This.
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My adult kids come see me nearly everyday. Their girlfriends as well. And sometimes just the girlfriends. We are a family of 8. I wish my husband could go see his parents everyday but he works long hours. My mom lives with us. I love families that see each other everyday
Go with him.
Family is important to him, clearly. Thats hard to find these days.
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You only get one set of parents let him visit whenever he wants they won’t live forever!!!
I visited my parents everyday and would give anything to have them back on earth with me!!
He’s told you he will be resentful if you want or expect him to change. Listen- if you can’t deal with it than it’s your issue and you should leave. He’s made his views and desires clear, and he will resent you if you don’t listen.
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Sounds like him and his parents have an unhealthy codependent relationship. The only thing that MIGHT help him, and in turn your relationship, is solo therapy/counseling for him and some couples therapy/counseling for you two.
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Visit as a family and enjoy each other.
Finds a good guy that wants to be with you and your son.
Now nitpick something minor and ruin it 
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Itll never change.
Embrace it or leave.
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My husband’s mom is over at our house nearly everyday, maybe try to mention bringing her over every so often? I understand not getting to see your man as often because i been there, it bring a toll on your side of the relationship. I felt lonesome at a point due to our work schedules tho, we only seen each other 2hrs a day if even that and only had Sundays together. If he’s your best friend it’s more than understandable that you’d like more time with him.
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I go see my mom everyday snd sit for hrs. My fiance goes with me. I lost my dad almost 3 yeats ago and let me tell u it has been hard. So i prefer to see my mom everyday before she passes we even go to another state every sat to spend time eith my op years olf granny and make a whole day of it. U seem selfish thinking he shouldnt go see his family. If my fiance was ro pull this id leave him cause nobody is mors important than my momma
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My fiance, my son and myself live with my mama and my grandma, due to health issues and age. I wouldn’t trade the time that we have with either of them for everything. My mama had 2 strokes back to back, out of nowhere, causing her to become mentally impaired. I would give almost anything to have some moments before her strokes back.
My fiance lost his mom unexpectedly last November and wishes that he was able to spend more time with her, he spoke with her multiple times a day, but still wishes that he could have been there more.
I understand the frustration that you are experiencing and I know that all families are different. You happened to fall into a very close family, if you have never really had that then I can understand that it may seem like a lot. But, if I were you, I would be happy that I met someone that loves his mama. I have always heard that the way that a man treats his mom is a direct reflection of how he is going to treat you.
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Let him go,his parents are not going to be around forever
I’d give anything to have my mom back and visit her everyday. Let him be.
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Go with him then, life is short family is everything yes you may nit like the hours but that’s what you have to deal with so instead of finding an issue make it an family 
affair and you and ur son go with him sometimes.
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Mommy’s boy is always a problem.
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There’s a problem when it takes 8 months for someone to see they don’t like your core. He’s the same guy you grew close enough to live with–“the love of your life”. You want him to change into something he doesn’t want to change into just yet. Don’t force it and it will happen naturally. He doesn’t suggest that you are not affectionate enough with your family compared to his, does he? You limiting his visits with his Mama is the same as him requiring that you visit yours more. Neither of you would be right. As he grows closer to you, you’ll get more time with him but you can’t expect to replace his hefty relationship with his mother with an eight month old relationship. She’s been there all his life. Be patient and build a good relationship with her, too. Just let it go honey. 
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I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong. His family comes first. Parents aren’t around forever. He grateful he’s with his family and not cheating or partying with his friends. Why don’t you go with him to get to know his family better. If you keep pressing this issue there will be resentment and your relationship will inevitably fail. He’s made that clear to you already.
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I hoping my boy will always want to come and see me 
with his girlfriend too xx
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Me and my mom are best friends and no one would ever come between that.
If this is the biggest problem in your relationship you don’t realize how lucky you are.
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You can already see where your future is going. He’s not going to change. You are wasting your time.
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This has to be made up Righttt 
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Okay so… never limit the amount of time/days/hours, a grown man spends with his mother. Mine is gone now and I would literally do ANYTHING for one last hug. That being said, if you want a close family, maybe you should join him every other day or something, and go with him to see his Mom.
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a mom is the most important person inany childs life good on him for visting his mum grow up cut out jealousy u will neverwin against his mum hope yourchild turns out samex
How does he have time with work and his relationship/own family?
Try to understand that maybe because you didn’t have a close knit family and can’t see how rare and beautiful one is that maybe your perspective is skewed in the wrong direction. Bring your son around a man that makes family a priority so when you are old your son will do the same for you, even when his girlfriend doesn’t want him to anymore.
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Are u sure he’s visiting family or they are covering for him???
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Go with him or let it go. Time spent with your parents is always worth it.
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No matter the age or health nobody is promised tomorrow …
The time he doesn’t spends with his momma now is time he will never get back when she’s gone …
I wish i could spend one more hour with my momma …
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Whatever happens. Just remember you are also a mother.
So many questions. He’s either lying about who he’s spending time with or he has some issues.
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You only have one mom in this life…Consider that he sees his mother as loyalty as he would to you. This will all soon pass in the future and you’ll be glad that he was able to enjoy her while he has. Long as she is not cruel to you or your children Or call you wicked names or talk behind your back like your evil Coeval. Considering you are a very lucky woman. Some women of the world that are in an abusive relationship would give anything to be in your shoes…just food for thought.And like Amanda Vaughn said …go with him or better yet invite her over … mix it up a bit
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My uncle’s were the same way. At his age this will not change. So go with him everyday or stay home. But accept that this is part of your life if you stay
I’m very close with my family. I visit my momma twice a week. I could no way visit every single day. I think y’all could just discuss how you want this to look for forever. Yes momma time is extremely important and you are blessed to be with a man that values his mom and family so much. But also, it is normal to want to be a family and need family/spouse time. I’d just talk again. Like baby I love your relationship with ur family, but can you try to limit most visits to an hour ish. A couple times a week go all in with the three hour visits but that is a lot. I don’t see jealousy or anything in your post. I would feel the same way!
You are just his girlfriend, they are his family. I’d say go with him! He’s 35 so I’m assuming his mother is older and it’s so important to spend time with people we love! Who knows you may actually enjoy their company too!
You have to decide if you can live with that or not. I think it’s great that he is a family man and that he loves his momma!! Don’t be the person who makes him feel like he has to choose. He’s not hurting anyone. I can see where the frequency and amount of time he spends with his family can feel a bit frustrating if it is cutting into “together time” as a couple. But go with him. Talk to him about setting plans/dates just the two of you and then tell him how important it is to you to have alone time, too. Please don’t deter him or be upset with him for having his family in his life. Family is so very important and life is short. Wishing you both the best possible outcome here…
Relationships are about compromise. Why not ask if y’all can do Sunday dinner with his family and visit 1 other time a week, as well as holidays and special occasions? Did he live with them before moving in with you? Just curious.
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He obviously doesn’t give two shakes about your feelings. Stop wasting your time. Cut him loose and seek happiness elsewhere.
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I used to visit my Dads/inlaws every Sunday …since having a family and a daughter of our own we’ve limited this because there is never enough time in the day with working/school…I felt bad at first but I also want us making memories together as a family when we have the time. We see them about once a month now
…which still sucks a little but I totally enjoy the ‘us’ time. We rarely do family visits solo, usually together 10 years in with a 6 y.o. Every family is different though, ours doesnt reach out much. It’s on us usually… so feel like if they want more they’d put in effort 
idk…good luck!
I don’t think you’re unreasonable. If he has a job and then spends 3+ hours with them, is he spending any time with you? I wouldn’t tell him to stop visiting them every day, I would suggest spending less time while he is there though.
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Wow!!! I had great caring, fun and loving In laws. I wouldn’t trade my time or my kids time with any of them! It’s family!!!
My husband and I seen his parents almost daily. They attended all of my kids sporting events and other functions, they were their greatest fans! My suggestion would be to let yourself go and find what a close family is all about. You may find it’s been what’s been missing in your life. If not then I would suggest moving on cause ylwhat you have sweetie is a family man with values.
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People who try to make their partners and friends feel bad about being close with their family is a major “ick”
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A lot of times in a relationship you’ve gotta learn to compromise. Sometimes that isn’t possible though, and when that happens you’ve gotta ask yourself if this is something you can see in your life forever.
I think that’s where you’re at.
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Girl if you don’t take that child back home😒
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He don’t like your son or maybe you. That’s why he’s spending more time at mama’s. You are where you feel more comfortable…jus sayin
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If he is working and spending 3 hours a day with them then he’s seeing them more than you and you are basically a roommate.
Family is nice and all but a man is supposed to leave his family and cling to his wife.
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He is still a child. He is still on his mama’s titty. Find a Man!
except he is your boyfriend not husband
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Every day for hours is too much.
There comes a time when a man starts a family and that is his priority. If he made the commitment to live with you and your son then it doesn’t matter that you’re not married. Living together, raising a child together is about as serious as it gets!
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He is really going to his family’s house you’re throwing up all kinds of red flags that you are not the one for him. Maybe go with him or sit down and hush
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I agree twice a week with his mum is plenty of time to spend with her and the rest of the time with you and your son and if you have more children how are they going to feel 
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When we used to live back in Pennsylvania, we lived pretty close, like walking distance if you wanted to go for a good walk to my grandparents. One of us, like, my dad (grandmas kids) were there, every single day almost if not everyday. 5 kids, over 40 grandkids/great grandkids. It made amazing memories for the grandkids. So, get with it or move on.
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Somebody would have ever told me I couldn’t see my momma everyday when she was still here on this earth, could pack their bags and go on. Resent will come if something happens to his mom and he didn’t stop by that day or the day before to check on her. Maybe she’s all he has everyday. Most don’t visit their parents unless it’s a birthday or holiday. Leave the man alone. This was is life before you don’t try to change the good man you say he is and that includes his family visits. Go with him or shut up
Talk with him about it. Set up a family dinner night once a week and ask him to shorten visits to a hour or two 2 other times a week. Keep in mind things happen that are not expected and if something happened to his family and he felt you cut him off from them it’s not going to be nice. My fiance has a close family to and I never did. I know it seem wierd if your not use to it.
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But you knew for two years and still continued on with the relationship, why is it such a large deal now? Ask him if there’s a reason, maybe she needs assistance but to embarrassed to let the world know and he helps her out when he can. Also, maybe he feels at home with his mom, you keep saying he lives with me, maybe he doesn’t feel at home !
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No real commitment made by him. He is a room mate with privileges. Hope he will make a real commitment to his son. His mother should be sending him home to his son.
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As someone with no ties to my own family if he really enjoys it join him a couple times a week if you like. If you get married his family is your family.
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I lost my mom last year,so if I could go back,I would spent more time with her. She was 72. 
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 does he work LOL? Just asking my man would never have time to go hang out at someone’s house for hours every day
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You’re expecting your boyfriend above his momma. You’re not going to win this. Keep pushing your selfishness, you’ll loose him.
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Wow, 35 years old and still attached to his mommy’s apron string! Think it’s time he grew up or you need to find you a real man! He’ll never change, so unless you want to live like this for the rest of your life, I think you already know what to do!
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Your trying to limit his family time and your his gf…
There’s about 18-16 hours a day we are awake, find a hobby and leave that man alone. Have him take your son and you and if you don’t want to go, send your son. If you don’t have any family there neither does he and he should bond with them! A couple hours a day will mean the world to any of them when all they have left is memories.
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If he is basically spending all his free time over there and not with you guys that’s a problem. Yeah he should visit his family if he wants but obviously this is an issue with him being there all the time. So you need to decide do you want to continue this relationship and maybe have kids with him if he will be spending so much time away from you guys? He already told you this basically isn’t something he is going to change so you need to figure out what you can and can’t deal with.
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My ex was a mamas boy. He worked 2 houses down from their house and just had to stop by every single day. His parents played a big roll in our divorce. He’s also not your sons step father so don’t even act or treat the situation like that’s what it is because it’s not and you’re going to hurt your son allowing him to get close to someone who won’t be around long.
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Never going to be the husband you want and need or the father for your son. Until his mother dies, you will be playing 2nd fiddle for years and years.
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Couples counseling if you think for some reAson he is the one, but I think you should just move on actually.
Damn, that umbilical cord is strong!
Talk about childish, it’s time he grows up!!!
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Start planning on going out with his mom
I went to the gym, beauty salons and walks with my mil. She is a godsend. I love her so much. When we lived next door, his grandma would come over every afternoon to help me with our kiddos. Loved that. No my hubby didn’t go over that often. And when we first got together. He said, Are you trying to make me choose between the two of you, cause we are getting married, and I don’t want to hurt you, but she(me) is his life
l get paid over $125 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18117 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Whether or not you understand it because you don’t have close family, or if you think it isn’t typical or normal doesn’t matter.
He has said this is important to him and he will resent you if you ask him to give up doing something he wants to do, by choice. When you started a relationship he didn’t change it for you, why ask him now if you aren’t interested in telling him who he can see, how often, etc. ?
If the situation were reversed you wouldn’t appreciate him asking you to stop seeing your family if you chose to see them every day. I think you are saying to yourself I don’t see family every day, and if I had close family, I wouldn’t see them every day. And your choice is yours to make. So is his. You have to love people for who they are and what they need.
If you feel you are sacrificing too much with him spending time every day with his mother than you need to say that and decide if it’s a deal breaker if it’s not something you want to accept. But don’t ask him to do something he doesn’t want to do, give an ultimatum because your marriage won’t last like that either, might as well cut your losses now if it’s that important to you to watch your relationship die on that mountain or line drawn in the sand.
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As a mother of three boys, him being a momma’s boy warms my heart. I hope my boys treat me as well as he seems to treat his mom. With that said, I’d never allow my sons to put me above a woman they intend to be their wife. You may not be his wife yet, but if he intends to marry you, you will be, and your wife comes first. My sons know this. Spending enough time with his mom is important to him, so you should consider that, but he also should consider how it is affecting you and your relationship. Compromise is needed. Yes, that is the amount of time he normally spends with his family, but that was before he was in a committed relationship. Now, he needs to adjust his life around that. He should still spend time with his mother as much as he has available, but he needs to include time with you in the calculation of “available time.” That may mean cutting down to a couple times a week; it may mean fewer hours there every day, whatever it looks like something needs to change. He says he’ll become resentful if he has to cut back time with his family. Well, so will you if he doesn’t. You’ll always feel like he puts everyone before you, and that is no way to live. If this issue can’t be fixed, you may need to walk away.
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Young one - it may be a cultural thing - hear me out- I come from a big Mexican/ Native family- we all get married- but spend a lot with our family. You should really try to become part of it. Time at Moms. It’ll be good for your lil’ one too. Family is a good thing - young one. Often our elders aren’t around very long.
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You should get to know his family better and enjoy the visits as much as he does don’t be a crab go with him and let your son become part of his family as much as you can
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That’s not unreasonable. Some cultures, religions value family above all. So, if that’s the case, speak to his mom & respectfully speak about your concerns & expectations for your news family. Offer to start a Family Dinner tradition, every home holds the dinner alternative Sundays or Fridays?
There’s common ground & if I was the mom, I’d be fine with fewer visits bc my son is starting a family. I’d offer to come help cook or babysit so you can, whichever. If It’s truly about family unity, you all can work something out. 
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Very unreasonable. You should be glad he has such a good relationship with his family.
Eh… Get back together after his mom passes
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Sounds like ur not even trying to be a part of his family. How’s ur relationship with his mom? If u really want to be with him maybe put the effort into knowing his family. 
my ex was like this but I would always go with him. We would literally hang out and do nothing or everyone would show up and we’d do family dinners etc. Being from a big family, i could relate to ur bf.
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I think it’s fine visiting family everyday. If I had family near by I would probably do the same thing. He could be doing something a lot worse with his time.
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My question is would you tell your son not to visit you everyday? My kids are grown. One is married with 3 kids and I see my son everyday and my DIL. It’s all about family. I love my DIL. We even go on vacation together. Don’t get me wrong they have their own alone time we are not attached by the hip. Don’t resent the fact that he has such a bond with his mother. Embrace it. A man who is good to his mom is also good to his wife.
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He wants to spend time with his family…why would that bother you…who are you to tell him to cut his visits…lmao girl stop🤦♀️
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I think it is wonderful that he is close with his family, but he is 35 and trying to start a life with someone. If he works and then wants to spend several hours a day with his family then where is the time for the relationship and other normal things people do in life. In fact the bible says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 1 Corinthians 7:1-40
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Those are a lot of words to say “All his attention needs to be on me and loving his family is unacceptable”
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First: could you go with him for these visits?? That sounds like a good answer. Get to know his family. (If NOT… RED flag. )
Second: would he stay home if you made plans to do Something Together… Family Like??
Third: would you both go to counseling??
You MUST fix this Before (!!!) You get married !!!
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Family is important, and yes there should be some separation for your little family as well. But your son can’t have to many people in his life who love and care about him. I think it’s important for kids to have that connection as well.
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