Hey, so I’m just looking for a bit of advice. It’s not for me but my boyfriend. He has two girls with his ex, the first child was the result of a one night stand with her, but he stepped up, and they got together to raise their daughter, but the girl became abusive, telling people he would beat her and attacked him, punched him so hard that she punctured his lung!! Still, he stayed for the little one; despite her cheating on him, she told him that he was the father of the second baby, fair enough they split up though. He moved around the corner, and she banned him from seeing the kids. No court or anything just told him no, she then went on to spreading lies and rumors about him and now myself, what I want to know is what he should do, I’ve advised going to court for custody but he’s worried that if it falls through he will lose the kids — any advice welcome.
I think the very first step would be a lawyer tbh,see where you stand and file for DNA on both kids then take it from there.
Sounds like he’s already lost them, court would be to get them back!!
hes already lost the kids if she is not letting them see him. I suppose it cannot get any worse. If those are both his biological children and he wants to be a part of their lives, go to court!
File cusrody and ask for dnt testing
He’s already lost them if she’s not letting him see them so he doesn’t have that excuse to fall on.
He needs to get his ass in gear and file BEFORE she does! Keep texts and everything else you can. Get a lawyer and document every single time he tries to see them and she refuses. Keep ALL receipts of anything you buy for the kids and take pictures of everything you buy. Even if you can’t give it to them because of her (this is only “better” because it proves she’s keeping things from your kids just to spite you). The more time he lets go by doing nothing the less likely he is to get anything. File for temporary custody and for a DNA test to establish paternity if he’s not on the birth certificate.
He needs to file for some sort of visitation, parental rights paperwork. He also should most likely be dna tested for both children to be sure. Child support will get costly and he needs to know if they are his to support legally. Always safer to have court paperwork.
Honey he’s the boyfriend. Let him handle this. If he asks for your help then step in.
make sure he has proof. Document everything with dates and times. Get a lawyer and go to court. Good luck !
Oh please… You sound naive… It’s something missing from this story… Aint no man going to stay around to get his ass beat and have another child with her…
Lawyer asap, keep any and all texts or evidence against her. Voice mails as well.
Not being mean, I think something is missing from the story honestly but if he wanted his kids bad enough he wouldn’t be questioning things…he would be at the court house filing papers and requesting DNA tests be done and getting rights. If she’s that abusive and spreading rumors document things date and times and get a lawyer.
get a notebook and document every call, text, hi and bye. every time that he asks for visitation and she denies. ask for dna tests on both children and find you a good lawyer.
This is 100% his problem… I understand you wanting to support him, but he needs to take care of this himself. Take care of yourself
He should consult a lawyer and he needs to take her to court for custody.
I’d go to court r contact welfare system children’s advocates m have visitation then go from their !!
Lawyer, request dna test. The lawyer will represent for custody.
Let’s face it, money talks. If a man can get a good lawyer, then he has a great chance of getting custody or partial custody. I’ve seen plenty of men get it all because they had a good lawyer & the ex didn’t
DNA test, proof of punctured lung and any other evidence. Set up child custody and visitations and be ready to fight in court for awhile
“He stepped up” was as far as I needed to read. He’s got you fooled. This chick will end up being your friend when you’re in her place. 
Be very careful, you are hearing only his side of the story.
He will have to go through Mediation first before court… I’d start there. They can help him with where to go next
Go to court! His children have the right to see him! And he them.
You need legal advice. Not advice from strangers. Contact an attorney.
It sounds like he has lost the kids anyway … looks to me like he has nothing to lose . He cant do anything about the abuse unless he has police reports and did something about it at the time
Seems to me he’s already lost them. Couldn’t get worse.
- Go to magistrate & put a restraining order against her. 2. Go to court to file for custody of child #1. 3. Get paternity test for child #2. 4. If child#2 is his, file for full custody. If not, stop at #2.
Call an attorney plain and simple… He shld hv done that the second he moved out
Document document document!! That’s what courts and judges want to see. If she punctured his lung there should be a medical report from the hospital that treated him. Also, get documents on any other ER visits or hospital visits. Question: if she is abusive, he’s not worried about the children being with an abusive caregiver? Why won’t he stand up for himself? If push comes to shove, is he going to adequately protect you from her? Maybe he doesn’t want custody. He at least needs a DNA test because she’s going to ask for child support. If and when you go to court you want that DNA test. A judge will award her child support immediately for both children until DNA proves he’s not the father. I’m sorry to say this but I think something fishy might be going on. I don’t know why, call it female intuition. There’s more to this story.
This is his issue to prove to a court. Good luck.
He will need to get legal advice and representation. It will definitely be worth trying to get custody.
BTW, I can’t believe some of the comments, in here.
Re-read what you’ve written and ask yourself if you’d say the same thing if it was an abused woman who was fighting for her kids. Geez
He sounds very weak. Why can’t he make a decision on his own without a woman leading him? You could do better. Why attach yourself to his drama? His ex is now YOUR EX too. As long as you stay. My advice is leave his sorry butt. He is not a man.
Does he have pictures of anything? Text meseages like threatening ones?
Get a lawyer, go to court.
Seek legal advice from an attorney not people with a FB degree.
1st there has to be a DNA test to prove he is the biological father and if he is? It just gives him more rights to his daughters. And as long as there is a court order for vistations? It should be respected but more likely it seems the ex is drama so prepare to play kids games. Unless you put a stop to it and meet at the police station to pick up the child for visitations and save all record and receipts of what happens and what was bought for his daughters. Good luck
I hope HE has legal proof that she did this? Hopefully she never documented the “said” abuse on her? If neither side called the cops it might be hard to prove anything. As for custody, if he can prove she’s a danger to the kids he might have a chance. Even if he doesn’t get custody, he should get court ordered visitation and he should be caught up on support payments. All legal and should get a lawyer, each case is different and no one has the winning answer. LEGAL AND MEDICAL QUESTIONS SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO LAWYERS AND DOCTORS…NOT FB. Good luck.
You say girlfriend and not wife, so let him handle it
If this was a woman that was abused here then most of the comments would b so supportive of that woman bt coz its a man being abused sum pple are even saying “stay out of it”. This man reali needs support and i salute hm for nt hitting her back coz if he did then he was the bad one even if he was only defending hmself. Ther r reali sum evil woman out ther bt they nt being exposed coz they are woman and they knw the law is on our side. I think personally that he should get evidence togetha and go to court with her coz hes trying to b a good dad bt he cnt. Did u knw that their is so much similar cases like this bt the men are so scared to be made fun of?
Go to court. Court papers will show the children he did want them. The first 18 years of a child are whisked away so fast even in the best of circumstances. Court will show the children he did try. And don’t worry, they will come around in their later years, a father’s true love will show them the way!