My boyfriend went to take care of his mother with Covid: Do I have a right to be mad?

Would you be mad, or am I overreacting? My mom bf found out she had covid last night. Well, today, he decides he goes over to her place and brings her stuff. Yes, he’s wearing a mask doesn’t have a shot. I don’t either. I’m 39 weeks pregnant, and my son has asthma. He expects me not to be mad and says I’m annoying. What would you do?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend went to take care of his mother with Covid: Do I have a right to be mad?

Let him take care of his mom

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I would honestly tell him he has to quarantine away from you for a few days and maybe take a rapid test to be sure he doesn’t contract it and spread it to you. You have every right to be upset that he’s putting you at risk, obviously you’re not just being rude because he’s helping his mother out.

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Your mom’s bf? Your bf? Im so confused

I’d want him to use the most caution. I’m also pregnant with no shot. But I wouldn’t be mad if he was taking precautions.

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No, I think it’s perfectly fine that he did especially since he took precaution.

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Tell him go stay there.
You’re pregnant and your other child could have a bad outcome if they caught covid…
You’re allowed to have feelings on the matter but if it was my mother I’d want to be there for her as well.

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He can take care of his mom and he can stay far away for now to do so. 🤷

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You do have a right to be upset that he is chancing bringing it home to you and your child while pregnant, but you have no right to be upset that he’s taking care of his mother. Compromise. Since he is taking care of her, he should either stay with her while he’s taking care of her or only do door drop offs.

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He called you annoying?

He needs to be able to take care of her as long as he is responsible an takes precautions…life is short an if something were to happen to her he needs to have spent that time helping her! I’m sure you would want to take care of yours if the shoe was on the other foot!!

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No you’re pregnant let him stay over there with his mother until he can provide in two weeks a negative test just because you were mask that’s not enough protectionDo you have a fun you’re pregnant and your unborn child to think about let him stay over there and take care of her

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That’s his mom and you only have one mom let him take care of her and get her what she needs cause she may not have someone else cause I’m sure her knowing your pregnant if she had a choice she would had ask someone else just ask him when he comes back to wear a mask and quartine away from you guys until he can get tested and see if he is ok

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That’s tough because it’s his mom but i would be mad too considering your 39 weeks and could have the baby at any moment & miss the birth of your child.

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At 39 weeks, that’s a real shit time for him to be around someone who is COVID +. If he dropped off some stuff on the doorstep and wasn’t around her, that’s one thing. Actually going in her house and being around her, that’s not ok. I’d tell him he is in quarantine now and make him stay away from you.

At 39 weeks he won’t be able to be at the birth if he gets COVID and you could be separated from baby if you get COVID. So yea I’d be angry.

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That’s his mom! I mean you don’t know how many people that have COVID and not staying home that you are in contact with everyday. Sheesh.

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COVID has literally killed babies because their mother contracted it during pregnancy.

You’re not annoying. And I’m so sorry for the people agreeing with his actions. As a mother I agree with you whole heartedly. The family you make is what takes priority.

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He shoukd have took stuff sit on porch without any contact

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With the new variant of covid going around I would have been upset but I would understand. I’d make him quarantine for 10 to 14 days and get a test.

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Did he actually go in or did he just drop stuff off? If he went in and interacted with her I’d be pissed, contacting covid while pregnant could cost you your life.

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Oh ffs :roll_eyes: Get over it. You’ll all be fine.

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Have him sleep at his mom’s. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I would stay away. I stayed away from everyone when I was pregnant. My mom, dad and brothers all had it. They wouldn’t put me at risk being pregnant. He should be more considerate, especially being his baby in there

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You are over reacting it’s his mom and he is taking precautions I do understand your point but let’s take a step back would be reacting the same way if this was your mother and she needing help would you deny her help. All I am saying there is a way of handling and speaking to people especially to the father of the child you are bringing into this world, he needs to quarantine himself for a couple of days and get a test that is all just to be sure that he is not contagious. If he took precaution and he was careful and follow the guidelines you don’t need to get all bend out of shape. Good luck

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Before he comes back home make him quaratine and get tested days 4, 8 & 14 unless he didn’t go in her house

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I think he was in a pretty impossible position.

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Tell him to stay there. He’s putting all of you at risk.

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I get it but then again what if it was your mom?
You’re definitely not annoying.
I’ve had covid while 35weeks preggo- it wasn’t fun and my baby and I are lucky to have made it through

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I’d make him stay over there

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That’s his momma…she out him in this world. I’d expect my husband to make sure his Mom is okay. :woman_shrugging:
Yes, you’re expecting and it’s a hard moment …but if YOUR MOM was down & out, what would u do?

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By dropping stuff off did you mean take stuff to the porch or physically go inside and hug her? I had to do sacrifice my job for 2 weeks in order to see my mom in quarantine. I get why he went but he should’ve told you and made a plan.

Was he in contact with her? Like did he touch her?

It’s his mom. He is taking care of her. That is love.

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Anyone with Asthma is high risk, everyone seems to have overlooked the fact that your son has Asthma. You should be pissed!

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It’s very irresponsible of you all to not get your shots especially when pregnant to protect your baby. Get it now to hopefully give your baby some protection.

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Sure hope you don’t go anywhere then if him caring for his Mama upsets you. He can always be tested himself.

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I’d be so pissed…!, BUTTT, ‘WHAT’ can ya do ?:unamused::smirk::weary::100::sob: besides deal with it.:face_with_raised_eyebrow: Quarantine him when he returns​:woman_shrugging:t4:, limit him with son for a few days post coming home​:ok_hand:t5::100:…I mean, it’s still very real. There’s a super spreader now out, and us unvaccinated folks are still very much at risk!, esp for that new delta strain/version or whatever it’s called​:woman_facepalming:t4::weary:

Good luck mama :heavy_heart_exclamation::kissing_heart:

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Tell him to stay with his mom

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You sound selfish. She’s his mother.

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I would tell him he could stay there til they not sick anymore

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Don’t criticize her for not being vaccinated while pregnant!:roll_eyes:

How quick we forget vaccines :syringe: take :speaking_head:YEARS of testing so a rapid 8month produced vaccine I’m not running and jumping to get my damn self.
I’ll take my chances -like I’ve been doing the past year and a half.!

:thinking:As contagious as it claims to be I’m SURE I’ve come in contact at some point within the last 15months of this virus, with being at the damn grocery store alone. Even masked​:mask:. :raised_back_of_hand:t5:please.

So cut her some slack. I wouldn’t be jumping at the chance to inject myself and baby with said vaccine. Next thing you know, women who are pregnant abs have taken the covid 19 vaccine​:raised_back_of_hand:t5::speaking_head:please. Y’all act like the cdc doesn’t change what they say week to week​:sob::unamused:foh
Nobody fkng knows.! And that’s real.:ok_hand:t5::100:

I would support his decision to support his mother AS HE Should.but i would ask him to stay there until she is better then both can get testing and quarantine before he comes back home to you.

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Thats his mother. You are just his girlfriend. His mother comes first. And its not even that important to get vaccinated. So you are overreacting and you should be ashamed. What if it was your dad or mom? Pregnant or not if mine was still alive I would go to them in a heartbeat pregnant or not.

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I’d tell him to stay over there and quarantine it’s not worth the risk

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How many people commenting have been exposed or had covid?my husband works with the public lots of family members have had covid we have been exposed alot.id still help anyone who needed grpoceries especially momma.

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I’d be upset but maybe to ease your mind, I had covid in January & my husband & my 3 year old never got it & we all obviously live together & sleep together. My mother in law was at my house 3 times before I knew I had it & my father in law once & neither of them got it so fingers crossed he doesn’t catch it. (Just fyi, I was on day 6 when I tested positive which is the same day I lost my taste/smell. The first 5 days were nothing but nonstop sneezing so I really didn’t know or think I had covid so that is why I unfortunately exposed several people.)

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Mad no. Id just make sure he’s taking proper precautions at all times due to the fact that you’re pregnant and your child has asthma.

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Follow the health guidelines and ask how you can help her.

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Absolutely not. And to be angry is selfish AF.

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Lock him out hes disrespectful

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Considering your 39 weeks pregnant and about to deliver it depends on his mother’s condition how upset I would be. If she is doing fine as of right now I would be oissed he exposed himself because you need him to be with you and your other child at this time but if she’s really sick and needs help then he should stay there and you can make due for two weeks with help from friends or other family

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I wouldn’t be upset I would just let him know your concerns for your safety and your son and get tested before coming back home

Id just ask him to quarantine himself for at least 10 days i mean if my parents got sick id be there in a heartbeat so can’t be mad at him for trying to care for someone who took care of him. Maybe ask him to get tested after the quarantine

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Let’s look at the facts
He’s a momma’s boy, she’s a grown ass woman who didn’t get vaccinated, she can lay in the bed she made herself. And he can as well.
He is now not allowed with in the hospital and on the delivery floor since he physically put himself within the same room with someone with active covid. If you deliver on time, he is now missing the birth of his child, congratulations to him. And do t either of you dare lie and say he didn’t. Don’t put others at risk.
Your oldest child has asthma, and I’m assuming your partner knew this. This tells me that he doesn’t give a crap about your oldest or his health. Why would he risk your health, your unborns health and the health of a child with asthma? That’s selfish.
His mother could have gotten help from others. She could have ordered her needs from Shipt or instacart so she wouldn’t infect others. Even RX can be delivered via Shipt now.

There was no reason for him to risk everything, for his mother who is capable of taking care of herself, and if she can’t, she needs to be in ICU.

Taking care of her is fine. Going back and forth between your house and hers isn’t fine. He should stay with his mother for a while or get a hotel/air bnb. He needs to make sure he’s not risking getting you or your son sick.

Telling you that you’re annoying instead of listening to your fears is immature. You might want to reevaluate whether you want to keep this person in your life if he’s not going to listen to you and respect you.

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I wouldn’t be mad he went but I wouldn’t let him come home until we both knew for sure he didn’t have it. I have a son with heart and lung disease so its not something we are willing to chance as I’m sure you’re not with your son. If mom was just sick but doing okay I can see why you’re upset what happens if you go into labor and he gives it to a one day old. I’m sorry you have every right to feel how you are.

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Have him quarantine with her, I would expect him to be doing that if he’s taking care of her. No, I wouldnt be mad as long as he’s staying 2 weeks with her to care for her, but he should be helping his mama out. I know I would.

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Have him take off his clothes, spray with disinfectant. Go directly to shower. You will be fine. 9 people in my house . One kid got it no one else did. He had zero symptoms. Not even a sneeze.

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Tell
Him
To suck his moms boob while he’s at it and tell him to stay there!

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Definitely disrespectful. You’re about to have a newborn he shouldn’t be bothering with his mother. She is a big girl, she can take care of herself. Since he made the choice to go there id tell him not to come back and quarantine himself. Not worth the risk to be around you guys.

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Did he actually go into the house to give her the stuff he got or did he drop it off outside for her? He’s wearing a mask, did he use any disinfectant or sanitizers? To me it kinda depends on how old she is and how her health was prior to getting sick. If she’s still very capable and active I feel she doesn’t need help. But if she’s older and needs the help I think it’s kinda sweet- but I also think it’s kinda dumb knowing your about to give birth.
I can’t say I’d be upset cause like 85% or more of the people my boyfriend works with have had it and I’m pregnant too. I can’t control that. But also like, knowing how close you are to labor I feel like he should take any precaution he can to make sure you don’t get sick and that he doesn’t so he can be there with you when you have the baby.

I’d be pissed. Delta variant is more contagious than the others circulating now. And it’s becoming the dominant strain here in the US. So I’d tell him he needs to quarantine with her.

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Wow, some of these comments. If his Mom’s condition worsens it could be the last time he sees her. Of course he needs to be with his Mom. your ok and your son is okay. Even if he had to wait after being quarantine to be with You again, its worth it for him to be with his Mom.

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yes its worth it ti be with mom but of she is not doing badly i would suggest he wait.as would i if it were the other way around.because mom ia doing fine doesnt mean he would if he got sick or if she did.plus her son.un her unborn son.its a risk that unless TOTALLY necessary i would not take.

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Is anyone here taking into consideration he’s now suddenly risking her not having a birthing partner at 39 WEEKS pregnant?!?
She doesn’t have time to wait around and see if he’s gonna test negative, she could pop any minute.
This means not only does she possibly not have a birthing partner but the baby doesn’t have its father there. That’s so sad for someone 39 weeks pregnant who thought all along it would be otherwise.

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Damn some of these comments are fucked up! That’s still his mother and she obviously needs help if she’s sick with covid.
She should make him quarantine but that’s still his family too.
I’d hate to be related to selfish people like y’all.

That’s a tough situation. I can understand how he would feel stuck.

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I would tell him (if he actually saw her) that he will stay with her until she is better and for two weeks after that to make sure he didn’t get it. Or go somewhere else for those two weeks.

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Everyone in my house got covid at one point and it didn’t make anyone sick EXCEPT me and put me in the hospital for a week and on oxygen. Knowing how sick it made me I honestly wouldn’t let him come home till he can test and quarantine

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Let him stay there with he’s mom to care for her

That’s his mom…and we only have one mom in our life… be nice and just be supportive , let him know that it is not OK to come back to the house … but try to be calm ,it is not good for the baby.

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Such a hard question. And it sucks ppl gotta laugh about it. But if it was me, i would be upset too, but its his mom. Hes gotta take care of her too. So as long as he takes the right precautions maybe everything will be fine.

Wow some of you people are oh lovely. And i was the person to not qear a mask (im also an essential worker that works 6 3rd shifts a week and not vax. And never got it. Even after a customer came in and I handled his money and ect then he tells me he’s positive. No he wasn’t lying. He was a regular untill I banned him from my store. Ive never been sick.) I mean I’d be upset if he couldn’t be there in l&d because they may stop him from going up to l&d. But I mean its his mom. Wouldn’t you go to your parent or sibling if they needed you?

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What an idiot… Tell him to stay his ass there

How selfish. That’s his mother! You would be the same mom complaining if your son didn’t come help you out later. If he wore a mask, washes his hands properly and changes clothes/showers once he is home he is perfectly fine to visit her and then come home to you lot. Some compassion and understanding goes a long way. That man just heard his mother was sick and like a good man would he went to help.

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Id make him sleep at moms until it passes. I’d be so pissed. And btw if he was exposed… He probably won’t be allowed in the delivery room

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend went to take care of his mother with Covid: Do I have a right to be mad?

That’s his mother. Of course he’s going to take care of her when she’s sick. I’d be mad if he didn’t. How a man treats his mother is a reflection on how he will treat his wife. Should you be mad? Shame on you if you get mad. Shame on you.

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It’s……his mom. If my mom needed me, I would be there.

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As long as safety guidelines were being followed all should be out of harm’s way…choose your battles that is his mother…When I had total knee replacement surgery my youngest son stayed in hospital with me…His idea…He worked with me and helped me with my physical therapy when I came home…He wouldn’t have it any other way…I told him how thankful and blessed I was…He told me mom it’s no problem that’s my job… Hes a great son!!! Let your husband do his job and be a great son…

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As I completely understand your concern. COVID is no joking matter, I could only hope as a mom of 4 boys that they would do the same for me in my time of need. There are safeguards and precautions that he could take to keep himself healthy and also provide her w/ the care she will definitely need in this time. He sounds like a caring soul.

It’s his MOM. Jeez. What if she dies from it and it’s the last time he gets to see her. Who cares. He can quarantine and then come home when done. It’s a virus. It’s here forever. Just like every virus out there. Honestly, I wouldn’t care what you said. I’d do it anyway. It’s his mom. Get over it.

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I think some people are forgetting shes 39 weeks pregnant!!! That means labor any day! He probably wont be allowed in the delivery room now, hes risking her and their newborn life and the child they have at home!!! It would be different if she wasn’t pregnant and no kids at home!

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If the hospital finds out they will make you and baby get tested and possibly quarantine. He completely disregarded your wishes and I’d see that as a huge red flag on where you stand. Mommas boys don’t change

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My kids put things I need on the porch and left I took them in and put them away No body was exposed and we made it thru

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That’s a horrid question even to ask

Bet you’d be there for your momma if it was her

SMH

Good for him

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Hes not allowed to go in.

My mom had COVID, I did not go to her home to help her. My daughter and myself are compromised. My mom was in the COVID part of the hospital I had to make the decision whether or not to allow end of life care. She had hypoxia from severe oxygen loss. I then went into the COVID part of the hospital head gear, gown, double masked and gloves. My mom suffered several strokes, is now blind in 1 eye. Everything I wore I disposed of when I came home.
If his mom is battling COVID at home I personally would say have deliveries of what she needs delivered to her door. As you said you’re pregnant and most likely he can call his mom or video call to check on her. That’s what I did until my mom was hospitalized. I only went into the hospital because of the decision they asked me to make. If my mom was sick at home calls and deliveries of anything she might want or need is enough. You have to protect yourself and your unborn. I’d make him quarantine if he’s had personal contact with her. You’re not being selfish, if you’re compromised plus pregnant you have the responsibility to take care of yourself first. Not to be cold hearted towards his mother. But their are socially distant ways he can help her. If she needs more than that she should go in the er

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I would be mad IF there was someone else who could have done it instead. However that’s his mom and I would have done the same bc my mom has only me.

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Kinda feel like this post was irrelevant, I have 3 kids but if my mom needed me and she had covid I’d be there in a heartbeat, shits out here killing elderly people left and right, I wouldn’t care what my husband said I could never risk saying no and my mother dying. It’s a virus you either get it or you don’t. I mean put yourself in his shoes would you tell your family you can’t take care of them and then them possibly passing away…

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I’d ask him to stay with his mother then or quarantine somewhere before coming home, you’re pregnant not worth the risk

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…did he go inside to take care of her or just drop off food outside? That would upset me because its a risk to you guys.

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Is he dropping stuff at the door or going inside? Is she wearing a mask too? Are they maintaining 6 feet apart?

As long as he mask up & be careful my mother had covid for a week or 2 & it killed her, if I was him I wouldn’t care what u have to say that might be his last time seeing her or talking to her

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Well, What would you do? Would you be there for your mom if she needed you?

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Was no else available?

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What if you were in his position or it was your son taking care of you while you were older & had Covid?

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I personally wouldn’t be mad. He’s helping his mom. However I would make him quarantine for 14 days before coming back into the home as to ensure he doesn’t contract COVID. I do however understand your point of view and why you’re upset. This is just my 2 pennies in the matter lol.

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