No! Get over yourself! Unless he’s given you a reason to question him then you should be happy that child is able to spend time with both parents…its the ultimate goal in any co-parent relationship
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Yeah no lol I used to do things with my daughters father before he got in a relationship, but obviously now that we each have partners it’s different. You could’ve gone as well since the mother & child probably know you but yeah question is why cant he be alone w the child? My childs father has been taking her since she was a 18m. She’s happy over there with her dad & his gf & shes happy here w me & my partner. It can be confusing at first but they really dont understand too much at that age.
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Dealing with the same thing and he cheated on me twice WITH THE MOTHER and lied to my face about it for 4 years and still to this day cant trust them because he loves to do ahit he shouldntbbe doing no matter who it’s with as long as it’s a girl that’s all that matters cause everyone is more important to him then iam
Co Parenting!! That’s awesome! Please understand that healthy co parenting is very positive for young children.
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If it bothers you you need to go ahead and break up.
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Unless there’s been incidents where he was still messing around with her while you guys were together I see no issue with them spending family time together.
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Well you really need to be stronger than that sweetie to date a baby daddy.That just the beginning because he will leave you in bed rushing to the baby in case of emergencies or will have to spend the night at the baby mama’s place.
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So he goes to see the child at her house often, and they go on outings and you aren’t ever invited?
idk what’s up with these comments, but that’s a little iffy. They probably still have something going on.
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At least they weren’t alone in her house 
Personally I’d think nothing of it, he went and seen his child and the child has 2 parents that obviously only want what’s best for said child. It’s healthy for the kid to see their parents together. My husband goes all the time and talks with his ex wife and her man at their home just like I do and we do stuff together just me her and all 7 of our kids combined even though we’re only tied together by one.
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If they have a healthy coparent relationship then get over it. That babies mental well being matters more than your immature jealous butt hurt. That’s his daughter for life. Her mother will always be apart of the equation. Remember you are replaceable for him. His flesh and blood is not.
I think you need to grow up and trust him!
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Girl if you’re mad about that you might need to reevaluate if you’re mature enough for a man with a child
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I don’t see a problem with your post. I feel like you have some right to feel upset because he simply didn’t tell you. But you are coparenting and he needs to communicate with you and make you feel secure and less iffy
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Don’t be toxic. They’re doing the right thing for the child.
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Lord help people y’all sure do go on the defense when comes to exes girlfriends lol my ex has girlfriend and I invite both of them when we are coparenting because I don’t want her to feel left out plus you want to know exactly how they act around your child and how your child reacts to them just standing back and watching tells you lots
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You aren’t ready to date a man that has a healthy co parenting relationship, there should be zero reason why a father and mother can’t do things alone with their child as a family.
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Y’all rude. Wow.
Are y’all happy? Is she with someone else as well?
I can understand him not letting you know BEFOREHAND what his plans were… it’s a respect thing. I get it 
Girl, I apologize for these comments. Message me if you’d like.
Let it go!!! They are co-parenting in the healthiest way possible. There’s some parents that take away kids from the other parent because both can’t get along.
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He is probably still with her. I think they might not even be over.
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Not cool…he should have let you know instead of having to question him, that’s how he will make sound like you crazy integrated him
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I mean he should’ve told you what he was doing. I don’t mind co-parenting, but if he’s in a relationship with you he should at least let you know that he’s spending time with both of them. Those of you calling her immature, we don’t know enough of the story to judge why she’s concerned. 
There’s nothing wrong with them co-parenting peacfully. But if she’s not in the loop of whether the ex is there or not and it sounds like he’s living with her…but she doesn’t know he spends time qith both of them?? That does seem odd to me. However once again, don’t know enough to say more. It sounds like a fairly new relationship and recent living arrangement honestly. But don’t automatically put her down because you think she’s being immature. Rude. 
He needs to be able to coparent with the mother. I’d encourage it, but maybe ask for an invite as well next time. If you’re in his life full time and planning on staying in it, you as well need to get along with the mother.
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I’m offend that you refer to your boyfriend’s baby as “child” like the poor baby doesn’t have a name or something.
Grow up and be in awe that a man gets along with his ex to help her raise their child.
My parents get along better now that they have been divorced for almost 10 years than what they did when they we’re married while raising 5 kids. They fought all the time.
Respect your man. Be happy that you have a man in your life that is that way. You know from watching how he is now that he will be the best dad he can be if the 2 of you ever make that life changing decision.
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Maybe you could asked to be included? Have you meet his daughter?
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Gurllll. Better brace for heartache… it is not all about you. I understand at some point you need to be woven into this relationship and with the bonding. But the child needs her parents.
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Co-parenting is ok! As long as he’s being truthful it’s fine. Otherwise, why can’t she come with y’all somewhere? Have y’all been dating long?
My daughter and her “baby daddy’s wife” are best friends. They call his wife bonus mommy. They all spend time together and call all the children theirs. There is no step parents they are all mommy and daddy. It’s not about the parents it’s about what’s best for the children. If you have a man that wants to be a part of his child’s life support him. Ask him to be involved with the co parenting. Step up and make plans for you all to do together. Make a relationship with her. The child always has to come first.
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To small to be left with him huh was that court ordered?
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There is no problem with it. Do you want me to be a deadbeat dad who doesn’t see his child? Sometimes people aren’t comfortable taking care of a child by themselves or the mother may not be comfortable with him being alone with the baby yet as long as she knows that you exist I don’t see why it’s an issue. If you have a problem with him being a good dad and doing things with his child and baby mom then you probably shouldn’t be dating a guy with a kid. She’s always gonna be a part of his life regardless
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Grow up! Its for the child!
Hell yeah you should be pissed!!! If he can’t co-parent and also involve you there is something wrong! Don’t settle for less, your worth is so much more! If they are not mature enough to co-parent or parent period they need to quit having sex! When co-parenting you don’t have to involve the other parent to everything. There is no relationship, it’s over! Stop making up excuses to see your ex!
I was mad. Had a child with him…. Still mad.
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Yea that wouldn’t work for me. Why wouldn’t you and he take the kid to the zoo? I have 2 baby daddies. Neither of which I hung out with after we broke up.
Look it may be innocent and it may not be. Could it be great co-parenting …… yes
Could it be them not fully lettting go of the past… yea to that too. But obviously it makes you feel uneasy. Yes he told you the truth which is very nice… but could he of told you before hand and not blind sided you and had your feeling in mind yes… yes he could have. You don’t need to get all upset and dramatic about how you feel just talk to him and explain why it made you uneasy and whatnot set boundaries and expectations. Be realistic. Maybe it’s nothing or maybe it a sign of the relations ship our growing it’s self. If your get it telling you something listen. Now for all I know he is the best stand up dad there is with his awesome co parenting skills. But that doesn’t mean automatically he’s going to be a great partner. You deserve to feel like your in a safe emotional space in your relationship. It may also just mean you might not be ready for the role of step mom…. Or role model to that little child. When saying someone with a kid I’ve always thought they play a big role very big. And if that’s hard to cope with that’s ok. Doesn’t make you a bad person it’s just not or thing or maybe your just not ready for it yet. But either way…You just have to communicate that with him. #also this are all just general opinions not just off your situation but in general… and also just opinions you will do what is best for you.
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I call my kids step mama my baby mama lol she’s legit one of the best friends I’ve had my whole life. If you truly love him, you will try to have a good relationship with her for his kids sake! Not only accept that they spend time together for the child’s sake but support it 
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Why are so many women so quick to think they should be prioritized over what’s right for a child? Whether it’s your child or not, how can you justify feeling ANY resentment when the parent(s) are doing their best to do what is best for their child?! To me, it sounds like he deserves kudos for being the kind of father who is willing to be with his kid and make memories as a family, even if he and the mom split up. It is NOT about ANY of the adults involved. To that little girl, she’s spending a special day with the 2 most important people in her world. Too many adults fail to remember that the minute you become a parent, you are no longer #1. The minute you date a parent, you can not expect to be more important than that person’s child. Period.
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Let me be the unbiased one here. You posted into a group of mom’s where many are single, about your boyfriend and his baby momma and your concerns. I’d say your concerns are perfectly normal and okay as long as communication is kept and trust you should feel better eventually. Now back to the single moms. Many women here are going through shitty situations with baby daddy’s and their new girlfriends/wives. Some women here are dealing with a new girlfriend who stops the dad from seeing the kids and a whole other plethora of drama. That’s why your getting so many attacks cause these mom’s see you as that. Even if it’s not true.
If it bothers you that he hangs out with his child and does things as a family with the child and the child’s mom then move along. It’s as simple as that. She will always and forever be in the picture so if you’re going to date someone with a child that is trying to coparent then this is something you will have to deal with. Things like that are fantastic for their child, which really is the most important thing. But if he has never done anything that you’ve witnessed or have proof of then there’s no reason to not trust him or be bothered by that. If he ever does do something then move along. Just don’t be that person that tries to keep him away from his child please.
I wish my sons bio would do something ANYTHING for his son. But nope, my child has met that man 2 times in his 5 years of living. He can’t tell you a single thing about my son. Be happy you are with a man that 1. Is stepping up and being a dad 2. Can be MAN enough to be honest with you 3. Isn’t going to hide that they have a co parenting relationship. There are moms and even gfs that would kill for a man to be honest and open with them. You are reading too much into this and letting your insecurities cloud your judgment. Put yourself in the mothers shoes or even his for that matter. Stop thinking about how you feel and think about how that child felt getting to be around both of its parents
Wait? A 2 year old child is too small to be left with their father??? Mature men are capable of caring for a child from infancy up, just saying.
I have no issue with co-parents spending time together with the child, but there are some missing pieces to this puzzle.
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Grow up sweetheart she is the mother of his child. Showing the child they can Co parent is awesome. Don’t be that women. If you can’t handle it now why with him after all he has a child and that child always comes first I’m sorry to say.
I would have went with them! No reason why you shouldn’t be invited actually. I’m sorry I’ve dealt with a nut job of a baby momma and she is nothing but vindictive and spiteful. We tried coparenting and allowed her in SEVERAL TIMES, only for her to play her immature jealous baby momma games over and over…
How come a child isn’t allowed to be alone with their father?
I don’t really think there’s enough info/context in the post to give appropriate advice?
One one hand they could be coparenting successfully and he didn’t lie to you? But are u upset that u weren’t invited or upset u weren’t told about it til after the fact?
Also - we don’t know how long u have been together, if there are any other issues influencing ur feelings on this.
If it’s an early relationship I would understand u not being invited etc til they are ready for u to be introduced…
But if u have been with him some time that could be different?
As others have asked, why can’t he have the child alone?
So many questions…
I would have felt awkward about about the situation prior to the zoo. He can’t be alone with his child? That’s really unnerving. Also, I believe in healthy coparenting but I also believe that kids need to have balance of separation when parents are divorced. Acting as a couple can cause damage in the future because let’s face it, all kids want their parents together. That being said, yiu don’t have the say-so in how they choose to parent. You can express your feelings to him but he’s ultimately going to do what is best for the child and I would commend him for that.
I totally get what you’re saying BUT it’s a package deal and moreso since the child is young (2 yrs old) - now if you would have said pushing 6 yrs old & up then 
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She is 2 and can visit at your home as well she isn’t too young. Do they have a court visitation? It is a little odd he said she is too young for her to come to your home. But if it is legit only co-parenting then that is good. But too small to be left with him is he on parole or something? That just sounds so weird
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I wish a woman would have a problem with my bd going to the zoo with me and OUR children too bad so sad
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He is doing what he wants and feels is right. You can’t change it, if not for you then leave. He will not change for you when it’s his child involved
This may be hard for you to handle. Probably best to end it now. He is always going to put his little girl first, just so you know.
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It’s called co parenting it’s nice they get along. I wouldn’t worry to much maybe ask to come along next time.
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My advice is to get over your jealousy. Unless you have reason (actual evidence) to believe there is more than platonic feelings between them, they are co-parenting their child. More parents should put their differences aside and spend time with their children doing activities. It makes the child feel loved and nurtured. It’s good for their mental health and upbringing. Not EVERY THING is nafarious, and not everything is about YOU.
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Children want and deserve to spend time with both parents at once. My x husband and I are very close and I wouldn’t even concider dating someone who would have a problem with it.
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How should u feel? Thats his baby and thats the childs mother
Why would a child, regardless of age, too ‘young’ to be with the father? Odd
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lol , some of these comments … y’all are seriously reaching ! She has EVERY right to be upset ! Coming from a mom who Co Parents ! My partner would be just as upset if I left with my kids dad all day to the zoo and didn’t tell him . SMH and some of y’all would be too ! It has nothing to do with trust or her not wanting to be with someone who has kids , it’s called respecting your partner ! It honestly doesn’t matter why he isn’t or doesn’t want to be alone with the child , some dads just weren’t built to care for little ones alone . ( mine was but I know a few who aren’t )
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My kids’ dad and I talk almost daily about our kids, and he’s invited to the birthday parties too. I even invited him to mine and my husbands wedding….I’ll never understand why some people think that parents don’t occasionally need to parent together. Be glad they’re showing their child how to respect each other and parent together despite having differences.
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How long have yall been together? Sounds like they are just coparenting together which is whats best for the child.
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How long have yall been together? What were you expecting when you got in this relationship? This is called co parenting. It’s good for the baby. If you don’t trust him maybe the relationship isn’t good for you or him. You don’t seem mature enough to be with a man that has a kid. " the child" just screams immaturity and jealousy.
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Big no !! An we’ve been together 16 years !
Nope. No need to be mad over that
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I don’t care what you call it jealousy or not there is no need absolutely none whatsoever to be spending personal time with your ex if you need to spend time with the child or children then make the appropriate arrangement picking up on certain days to have the child or children ex is an ex for a reason and out of respect for their current relationship you have no reason to be spending quality time personal quality time with your ex just my opinion. Co-parenting does not mean that you have to disrespect your current relationship to co-parent with your ex if that’s the case then you might as well stay with your ex
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I would be cool with it if sometime i could come. I have family dates with my daughters father…sometimes its just us 4( my son, daughter and bm/daddy) sometimes he invites the girl he’s dating.
I used to hang out with my daughters father all the time after we split… for years he would even stay at my house (On the couch) when he visited. Nothing ever happened, we were not together for a reason, but I still wanted him to be there for my daughter and if that meant staying at my house and doing outings together, I was on board.
I probably would feel the same way in your shoes, but I know in my case, we were just doing what was best for our daughter.
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if he doesn’t tell u it’s a problem
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My daughter is 4 and her father and I have been separated since she was 18 months. We do zoo, fair etc trips and even birthdays together, take her to breakfast, lunch or dinner sometimes. We have even done Christmas together. We do it to make coparenting important so she knows that she will always have her mom and dad. We definitely do not do it because we want to be together but it is good for the child.
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Is there a reason he can’t be left alone with her? My daughter was 2 when we had a custody agreement and he was able to take her alone. Even after admitting laying hands on me, he took her for a few hours so she got use to being around him every other day.
First red flag…he goes there because kid is too small to be alone with him…what? I feel like y’all are missing the point of her post, she obviously feels uneasy for a reason. Healthy co-parenting is best for sure but what’s with him not being able to take his daughter by himself? Seems like an excuse for him to go there without his girlfriend. If they’re dating then he’s gonna have to include her at some point. If he can’t be with his daughter without the mom then either, A. she is enforcing it and that screams baby mama control to me or B. He is saying he can’t be alone with her as an excuse to be there and if that’s the case, why? If your gut tells you something is off, trust it!
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This is the definition of co parenting, do not let any of these people tell you he has to spend time with the mother AND child to co parent. 
they sound stupid. And to be honest, it sounds like the mother doesn’t want to let the child go with him alone because she has feelings for him wanting to be at the zoo playing family. That’s not coparenting. Lol the advice your getting is shooting down your gut feeling. Listen to it
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I don’t think that’s okay. But I’m also Hispanic so maybe there’s a culture thing I don’t understand. The kid is old enough to be with us or just the dad no reason for the mom to be around when it’s out time. I’d say bby momma needs to learn her place and let go but like I said I may be wrong but I wouldn’t play that. I’d tell them to get back together if that’s how ots going to be.
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You’re being so jealous. Be glad you have two people willing to coparent and get along. Sheesh. If I were the child’s bio mom, I wouldn’t want my child around your apparent toxicity.
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Do you want him to hate the mother of his child??? Its amazing that they get along well enough to take the child on outings together.
As the girlfriend it says alot about you if you were to get jealous and interfere with their coparenting arrangements.
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Cheating would be my suspension. Child is 2 and can be left alone with dad specially because breast fed is usually past done.
My first “what the f” was when you said, “he often goes to see the child because she’s too small to be left alone with him” uhhh what!? He’s the parent. That is also HIS child. Never in all my children’s life were my kids too small to be left alone with myself or their dad. This raises way too many questions. Is this an excuse? Or is he truly incapable of fathering his child alone. And who calls their significant others kid “the child” when referring to them.
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Grl you not toxic and you have a right to feel the way you feel. Wats happening is NOT RIGHT and what SHOULD be happening is you should be involved. Your boyfriend should be taking you with (even if it’s not every occasion, because he needs time alone with his child as well). BUT he should be able to include u in their outings not only to show his baby mama he is serious about you but also so that his child can get to know you. And if the baby mama has no interest in the father she would allow this. Women are sneaky, most of them tend to use the child as an excuse to spend time around the guy. And if they alone at her house wat happens when baby has a nap 
If he’s serious about u he’ll include you not only to show his seriousness about his relationship with u but also to show u that there’s nothing to worry about…
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I don’t understand why people are saying “big no” to this!? Like they’re co-parenting and children deserve to spend time with both their mother and father if it’s possible. I’m sure there was no ill intention behind it and I’m sure the baby would of had the best day because of it, and that’s the most important thing
You sound insecure.
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My ex talked a bunch of crap about his childrens mother but slept with her behind my back the whole two years i wasted with him and i was oblivious
Don’t let nobody tell you not to be mad because you can, he didn’t talk to you before he did it and that’s just not okay!!
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Have you even met his kid?
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The fact he went with his ex and his child to the zoo isn’t an issue, what the issue is is that he didn’t tell you beforehand and it seems he has something to hide. Anytime I’m with my ex I tell my now partner out of respect for him and he fully trusts me because of that. I have zero feelings towards my ex but we have 2 children together so at times have a cup of coffee at each other’s place but my now partner always knows about it and doesn’t have an issue at all as I always let him know
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Co-parenting is what we all aspire to do… If we can be friends with the ex and spend time together, that benefits the child in ways some will never understand… The child comes first!
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Coparenting is so important, i can sympathize with the jealousy because sometimes we all get jealous, however can i suggest you also spend some time with the mama and the kiddo? One of the best things that my ex, my current fiance and i have done is structured coparenting. We all do things together and separate. Try breathing a little. These visits are so amazing for the kiddo.
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This is co parenting at its finest! I don’t see any issue with it unless you have a reason not to trust them together cause this is what’s best for his child to see parents getting along.
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Be happy they’re co-parenting.
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He was with his child and thats none of your business. Honestly just nice to read no matter what these parents are co-parenting. Dont butt in. Support them
What are you gunna do about birthdays and holidays if the child wants to be with both parents? And to people saying she should of been invited, alot of parents don’t let their kids meet new partners until it’s really serious. Im honestly completely shocked by alot of these comments
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Who else was he suppose to go with? You said he can’t have child alone sooo 
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I hang out with my sons father because it’s easier to be friends then enemies that being said he had 50/50 custody and has since we split up when my son was 1. I don’t think it’s weird unless your not welcome. If me and my sons dad do something with our kid both our partners are invited and welcome
This is all about what is best for the child . Please do not worry about it . It is so vitally important that this child know her daddy . Maybe suggest he tell
You / discuss this with you next time beforehand .
Its called co-parenting…
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The question is does the childs mother know about you? If So then no worry if not then maybe time to find someone else.
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You don’t have to feel any type of way about it, that’s the mother of his child period. Get used to it because they will probably do a lot of things together because they share a child. Grow the hell up lol. They will always do things together for years to come so if you can’t handle that you don’t need to be in a relationship with someone who has a child because you sound childish and jealous.
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Coparenting is a real thing and if two people can do.that well then why be so mad or jealous. I have done several things with my baby daddy when my son was young and I wouldn’t trade those memories you don’t have to be a couple to do family things
In the first place you are hes women now you should be going with him n he’s daughter to the zoo thats a bunch of bs
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He was honest with you that is a good thing! Dont overthink the situation they are coparenting they have a child together
Consider it luckey that he gets supervised visitation. Two is a tough age thats the age of blink and their gone. Dad two year old. Yes it’s his kid that doesn’t mean the child feels comfortable going on her own out with him. Two is the age of putting things in their mouth don’t belong if dad is not around this child 24/7 or more then a few hours a week then there shouldn’t be a problem. If your worried that he’s still having feelings for his ex thats on you thats your insecurity. Here’s a suggestion on an excursion like a trip to the zoo make it a foursome mom, baby, dad and you join in the trip to the zoo it might get the walls broke down and you get familiar with the dynamic and introduces you to the child so she and mom can get comfortable with the new group dynamic after all as the child ages and if you and the boyfriend become more serious in your relationship the child and the mother are going to have to accept that your part of the dynamic.
Wait your question is should you be mad he does things with his child and her mother? Should be glad he’s a part of her life and has a a good relationship with her mother. You have zero say in how they coparent. that relationship they have is healthy for that baby and that means she’s happy and THAT is all that matters.
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If you want this guy in your life then accept his daughter and her MOM!!! This should be a lifetime thing!!! If you feel you can’t trust him to be true to you then you should get out
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Meh I think its normal just because I do it with my sons Dad and him with me and our respective families also hang out together. We took them to the mall not long ago and out for supper and they were in Heaven. Told us it was the best day of their lives because their family was together! Made us happy to do it for them. The kids love it. Maybe eventually here you can also join them. We also have dinner together at his parents now and then - sometimes the beach together with them or movies etc etc. He has an open invitation to my house to pop in and I have the same with him. Respectful boundaries though like usually phone contact to get a feel for what the other is up to before the pop in. Hes away from them from Monday til Thursday so i dont mind if he pops in on a Thursday night to get some hugs and say hello i totally would be missing them by then also. I would just ask for communication about it. I think that’s a reasonable request. When he had a girlfriend I didnt come to dinner or the outings as much just out of respect for her and to give them the chance to get their own routine and family unit. Its taken years to get to this level though but we get comments about how family oriented our children are. We’ve managed to keep that for them even with all the mistakes we’ve made along the way. Better communication in this situation from him to you and you to him would help 100%.
Have you met the child and child’s mother also? How long have you been together? This plays a part in it. Strict rule about having random people not staying in their lives around until its pretty permanent. That’s one thing I will not budge on. I dont think you should be mad, its fairly common but he should have let you know beforehand out of respect at least in my opinion.
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He should’ve told you first.
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