My question is, would you continue to be in a relationship if your boyfriend doesn’t give you the password to his phone? I am living with my boyfriend (for almost a year now), and we have a child together, but I have never been allowed on his phone. He knows the password to my phone and knows he can take it whenever he wants (e.g., if his phone is dead and he needs to call someone, text someone, or just wants to go on my phone), but he will not allow me on his phone. He deactivated his FB and Instagram account because of an argument we had (he commented and liked a picture of his ex while I was eight months pregnant), so I can’t imagine what would be on his phone that he doesn’t want me to see. I understand (and have told him) that I don’t care to go through personal things on his phone, but I feel that if you don’t want me to even hold your phone much less, go on it, then you’re clearly hiding something. I’m contemplating ending this relationship because of this. Phones are so much of our life now, and the fact that I can’t even look at it very concerns me.
You’re a fool if you still think open or locked phones is a good indicator of your ability to be in a relationship. Right now all you share is a bed and a child - when and if you ever learn to trust each other equally, you need to move on to someone who can and BE someone who can.
He’s obviously hiding something !!
I f you feel the need to be snooping on him , you should probably start looking at where your new life might be with out him .
You don’t trust him…stop wasting his time and yours
Change your password until he lets you have access to his phone don’t let him have access to yours plain and simple …fair exchange no robbery
Throw the whole man away and end the relationship. There’s red flags there.
Put a password on your phone.
Does he have the fingerprint feature set up? If he does get into it while he’s sleeping, passed out preferably lol put his finger on the phone and doors will open. Good luck, it does sound shady.
Honestly, go with your gut. If he had nothing to hide it wouldn’t even be an issue. Open and honest versus secretive? Privacy’s one thing. If you have access you most likely wouldn’t be wondering. Your gut’s telling you somethings up. Go with that.
It’s one of the biggest red flags there is
I would walk away from him, it’s gonna be your little 1 in the middle off it all when you find out the truth…
Put a password on your phone and tell him, you deserve the same respect and trust that he expects from you!
If no trust is no relationship. You shouldn’t need passwords
He’s guilty! Plain and simple. Get rid.
Never crossed my mind to look at my husband’s phone. Why is he your boyfriend should be the question.
Trust your gut, it NEVER is wrong!
I’d be more concerned with why you wanna control his phone if you can’t trust him, why are you with him? Question yourself on the contrary of your concerns
I would end the relationship, point blank.
Oh no, just dump him if you don’t trust him.
Red flags. I don’t go through anyone’s phone in a relationship. You wanna go through mine I’ll throw it to ya. Have fun. But don’t even ask if it’s not a fair exchange. In a relationship you should have trust but you should also give someone a reason to trust you. Both phones should be open to each partner. Otherwise what are you hiding. Don’t waste my time. Until he can let you in don’t allow him access and when he protests simply say if you can do it so can I. He is obviously guilty. Shouldnt even passcodes in a relationship. My partners have always been able to pick my phone up and answer a call/text if I’m in the shower or whatever. That’s how it should be!
Give him a taste of his own medicine. Change your password and don’t let him use your phone, see it or go through it or what. People hate when you do the same shit they’re doing to you to them. If he has nothing to hide, then he wouldn’t care if you see his phone or know his password. Something shady going on for sure…but how long you going to wait to find out? Obviously there is a lack of trust.
Put a password on your phone and always follow your gut… from experience it always start off as a simple comment on an ex’s post then turns into a cheating nightmare … but he could be faithful but why would he be scared or want to hide if he was???
Run…he doesn’t trust you or he’s hiding his conversations which either one should give you a clue, no marriage after a child…really just run and don’t look back…love yourself and your child more than him…
I know my boyfriends (of 10 years & baby daddy) password to his phone and never wanted to go through it. You need to have trust in your life partner. If not, don’t waste your time. Work on yourself and realize what he did had nothing to do with you. And if it bothers you that much to the point of leaving him, talk to him about it. Communication and trust should be the foundation of any relationship. Cheers!
I dont have the password to my husband’s phone and ive never asked/demanded it. He doesn’t look at my phone either.
Thats just stupid.
But–if youre not happy then leave. The ability to Phone snoop shouldn’t make or break a relationship. Actually, i think that hurts a relationship more than it helps.
If you cant trust someone without having to monitor or check on them like they’re your child, then find someone else or look at yourself.
Why are you wanting in his phone is my question. My husband don’t get in mine and I don’t get in his. It’s like my purse he don’t get in it I don’t touch his wallet. It’s called respect and privacy . Just because were married don’t mean we shouldn’t have privacy. Nothing shady about it. There has to be personal space in all relationships. People put to much into he want let me see his phone I’m leaving grow up!!
I don’t play the phone thing. Me and my husband know each other’s passwords. Neither of us have ever had any suspicions or even worried about this pettiness. We have both forgotten our phones at home or my husband even leaves his charging sometimes while he runs small errands. Nope. No. Will never be in a relationship like that. I was once and sure enough that guy was hiding shit.
I am a fair believer if I live with you and have a child too. There has to be trust. My ex never let me on his phone and it took only one time for me to see why when he left notifications on one night and I was still awake and saw it. My husband now I trust 100%. We both have 100% access to everything. Phone computer bank accounts everything. A relationship is a commitment and trust can destroy a relationship if it’s not there. I think if you cannot see his phone and you really need to in order to have that trust. If he does not let you then there is no going forward. Because you will never trust him till you do. It will just nag you until you explode. I would sit down and talk to him let him know how you feel. If he still does not let you. I would cut him loose and move on. That’s just me. If you can’t trust me with your phone and I can’t trust you because you won’t let me on. Then it’s not worth it. I have a child to and I have my child to raise. I don’t have time for games. My time is worth more then that. It’s 100 open communication and trust or I walk. This is not a snack I’m and damn happy meal. It all or nothing.
I had this problem with my first child’s father and it really hurts the relationship. They are usually hiding something then because there is no other reason. Or they are complete control freaks and that is wrong too! My current fiancé has never done this to me and feels comfortable about me around anything of his belongings. He is my friend of fb and he has a picture of us together as his profile picture. He is always reassuring me if I’m ever insecure because he knows how I’ve been treated in the past. It took me till I turned 37 to meet a man like this but they are out here. We are going to have a little baby boy soon and he is a good father to my 6 year old son who has been without his father for some time now. I know how much this can hurt. I hope for your sake and happiness he resolves this issue and gives you the reassurance you deserve or that you move on and keep the faith that there are still some good men in this world who will not make you feel this way💖
If you need someone’s social media password you don’t need to be in a relationship with them. Period.
Yes big red flag I don’t have a password on my phone but when we do he knows mine n I know his
Respect his privacy. If he’s hiding stuff you will find out anyway
Whether he hides it or not he will do what he wants one way or another…same as you…there is always a choice. The phone isn’t the real issue here. it is trust…if you can’t trust him then why continue?
I’ve never asked for his, he’s never asked for mine.
What you allow will continue
Honestly people will TRY their hardest to make you feel like you are irrational and shouldn’t need his password that trusting each other should be enough and if you don’t trust him it means you have issues. WRONG honey! This has everything to do with what you and he are acceptable with. If you are one of those women who doesnt need his password, I applaud you. But if you are like me and you know just how easy it is in this day and age for cheating to happen to even the best men and women and it makes you comfortable knowing that you are safe guarding your relationship by holding each other accountable to certain standards in that relationship ie unlocked phones or knowing each others passwords DO NOT let any bitter new age, it should be my way or you are jealous and wrong WITCH make you think for one second you are wrong for wanting clarity and to put measures in place to make sure your relationship is not only being safe guarded but you are giving each other peace of mind. Dont get me wrong trust is so important in a relationship but what no one talks about is having clarity, peace of mind, and safe guards. We safe guard so much in our lives why not our relationships? Temptation, lust, and social media can affect even the most loyal people. I know a pastor who cheated on his wife and married his lover. If God himself can’t stop a cheater what makes anyone think they are safe because they have “trust”. I trust my partner with everything in me. I dont take it to the extreme or go through his stuff without permission but you bet your butt if I suspect something we have an understanding that our commitment to clarity, transparency, and safe guarding our relationship comes first!
I suck at advice, 🤷
All I have to say is worry less about his phone and social media accounts and watch his actions. Is he coming home? Is he caring for you?
I think its an invasion of privacy and no one is a possession. I feel like that may push him away.
One of 2 things happen when you date someone.
You get married or you break up.
Why is it so important for you to have his password? If you think he’s cheating then you can’t stop him from doing that. But if you really trust him then you don’t need his password.
Ya a cheater! I wouldnt put up with it, no matter what these people say on here, if your in a relationship n he doesnt give your password to the phone, then ya go with your gut instinct, he has sides boo!
You have no trust, simply put. So, you seem to have decided what your willing to live with… and that’s all that matters, if you feel the phone is an issue, and your boyfriend was liking pictures of his ex… yah you deserve someone better, you deserve someone who isnt out looking and complimenting other people when your carry their child… There are amazing men out there! Do not settle, if you dont have trust, you dont have a relationship. Pack up and move on… Do not stay tied down because you share a kid, keep your sanity and your dignity.
Completely agree with Kimberley Syer. It is not about snooping or trust. If there is nothing to hide then there is absolutely no reason why you can’t touch his phone.
Double standard. He’s cheating.
Better question… Why do you need it?
Change your password and do not allow him on it. Why should standards be any different for your phone.
I have the password for my boyfriend’s phone in case of emergency, but I do not feel the need to look in his phone.
That is not good. Get out NOW
He’s hiding something. But then again, you can have access to all his things, there’s a thing called delete, erase. So just cause he lets you, doesn’t mean 100 % truth
Change your password and carry on with you and baby. Without being obviously petty, let him see the mirror of himself as you demonstrate his behavior and attitude back to him.
Men hate that, especially when they’re wrong and know it and get called out. Just be prepared for drama if it goes like i know it will. Good luck hun.
A women’s instinct never fails us…if he truly loves you then he would respect that union and allow you to have access…if it’s a question of jealousy and he is restricting you to control the situation then he needs to address those concerns openly with you. There is serious trust issues that needs to get figured out before you decide to leave. Maybe couples counseling…see if he is willing so you both could be heard in neutral ground. You have children…maybe just try counseling as the last resort. If he still wanting to be secretive then go the other way. Living in a relantionship that there is zero trust…is no way to live. Your child needs a happy environment to grow up in…not an environment of uncertainty and confusion. Respect is key and extremely important. If he is not willing to budge them is time to go…the next step would be is to learn how to co parent…
Yes, run for the hills. People on here are idiots if they think he deserves privacy? Privacy to text or talk to other women? My husband and I both know one anothers passwords. If he has nothing to hide he’ll share.
I would never ever ask for my guy’s phone or passwords. No one has ever asked for mine. I think if it goes that far you cant trust each other than maybe you guys need to focus on building trust. I cant even imagine asking for someone’s password…
Not always the reason…it could be something as stupid as him hiding porn lol but if he’s sleeping in bed with u every night and goes out and comes right back…I wouldn’t be stressing too much! BUT
if there are times that he’s going out with “his boys” and gone for long periods of times without contacting u at all…THEN I’d worry
NO…I don’t have the password to my fiances…don’t need it. I 100% trust him…he leaves his phone laying around and I have used it but I wouldn’t go through it. He doesn’t go through mine…either there is trust or there isn’t!
I feel like if he has cheated before he owes you that access tell you feel secure again an if he can’t then I’d leave because you clearly got something to hide to wanna take your phone every single where you go an not let me even hold it for you use I or anything I just went through that an I
Left him because of it not gonna deal with it especially if he uses yours an goes through tours but makes it a problem for you to do the same
I been through the same thing but he ended up blocking me on his social networks and always lied and sure enough he was cheating so I did eventually end it cause it was more than shit over the phone,girls would message me saying his harassing them and when I wasn’t around he would have other girls over or drive to where they stay,he cheated on my whilst I was pregnant too , going out with other women so to save yourself the hurt and humiliation just leave cause a fight is never worth it,YOU are worth more!!!
I think relationships shouldn’t have secrets, you shouldn’t hide things from one another. Neither of us have locks on our phones.
I would lock your phone and I think I would reevaluate the relationship. To me if there isn’t openness on both parts, it leads to feelings of mistrust. I don’t feel it’s invading privacy because Everything should be open and honest. It’s a large red flag that he won’t let you in his phone but he can get in yours
Does he ever leave his phone laying around? If he dont he is hiding something but you already know ur answer or you wouldnt be asking. I’d leave honestly. My bf and I both have passcodes so other people cant go through our phones. But we both know eachothers and can use eachothers anytime we want
Why should he give you his password? He’s entitled to privacy and so are you …has he given any indication he’s cheating? Does he treat you bad? You obviously have no trust in him so why continue in a relationship with no trust …if you have no trust you have nothing…don’t waste your time or his !!
The phone isn’t the issue, trust IS, and there’s no trust here on his part. You need to be sure he understands this.
My question is…Why do you want it?
If it’s just to test him…stop playing games
If it’s bc you don’t trust him, leave…maybe you deserve better, and maybe he does
If it’s to prove something to others…think about what means more to you…their opinion or a trusting relationship
If it’s bc you just want to see something…just ask him.
If it’s bc you think it will prove his love for you then you are the problem
And if it really is going to make or break the relationship then let it break. Have some respect for him and yourself
If you need to go through his phone you don’t need him or that relationship because the trust is gone.
I am sorry but if you need to snoop on your significant others phone… why are you in the relationship? Maybe you need to work on your trust issues or move on and file for child support.
Without trust you have nothing.
I walked away because of this very reason…it’s the principle…you value a code over me…a relationship is an open book…you can’t have his code yet he can have access to your body🤦🏽♀️…no thanks and you and that code live a happy life🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️
If you can’t trust him. Even if there is nothing there. You have bigger problems.
No a girlfriend is not entitled to know every living thing about some guy she’s dating and will probably dump in the next 6 months it is none of your business you’re not married to him leave him alone you don’t have to share.
If you can’t go in to he’s phone like my ex wen she left me she would not let me go in to be her phone she was hideing some things from me so no trust don’t trust him
Blah blah blah change your passwords to everything n not give it to him , see what he does lol
If you truly loved and trusted him, why would you want it?!
He is not obligated to provide this information to you… You are not married to him, you willing provided all your information under the assumption that he would do the same and he has no plans to… You played yourself!! How to fix it, move on… he is doesn’t have the same morals as you…
i was married for 8 yrs, when finally got his password ( not asking for it) i wish i didn’t have i found out soo much about him that i knew i married a stranger.
i’ll say don’t ask, just let him know u want to know n leave it up to him n never bring it up … if after weeks he doesn’t give to you , then you know something might be up n it’s at that point when u have to make a decision for you and only you, and if you need a person that is more honest and trustworthy in your life.
I disagree, in a relationship everything should be an open book, the trust issue is with him if he can’t give her his password. I am sure you have already talked to him about why he won’t share his password, but if not try to find out the reason behind it. Your relationship is headed for more problems.
Nope walk away Hun there are good guys out there
Change your password and dont tell him. If hes cool with it great. If hes not then he’ll understand and give you access. I personally wouldnt break up over this, its petty. However, the fact you don’t trust him after a year and a baby isnt good. Is it because he’s a lying, cheating dbag? Or are you for some reason insecure a jealous by nature(no judgement).
That’s not right especially if he gets on your phone. He could be hiding something as simple as porn but then again it could be more. Even commenting on another girl’s pictures is a no for me. If he respects and loves you he wouldn’t want to hurt you in anyway and he definitely wouldn’t be liking or commenting on other girls pictures especially an ex. My advice is for one change your passwords and don’t let him have them and two if y’all don’t have trust then it isn’t going to work. You should be able to feel secure knowing that he isn’t doing anything wrong and the fact that he won’t let you on his phone is a big red flag. ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR GUT FEELING!
I never once went on my hubby phone, and one day he left his phone at home and it kept buzzy so I check it just in case it was one of his elderly parents and thats when I found out he was cheating. Never up to that day did I distrust him, he never gave me a reason to. Every situation is different, you have your own reason for wanting to look at his phone, if you have any doubt about your relationship talk to him, explain why. Be kind to yourself.
Always trust your gut!
End it, its bs…if he had nothing to hide, I would have his password…hes obviously is hiding something
Don’t waste your time any longer, i don’t have a password and neither does my man, if we want to look at eachothers phone for ANY reason… we can! That’s trust because neither of us have anything to hide! He’s offered to leave his phone with me during the day if I’ve felt worried … locking your phone is one thing but not wanting your “partner” to touch it says you have alot to hide and phones now a days with social media are a relationship killer if you are not open and honest. And this whole “what about his privacy” please if he wanted privacy he should have kept his clothes on in the first place and not been getting intimate having children! Time to man up and grow up!!!
All I can say is it works both ways… If he is that sketchy and you are too, get out because its really a done deal. Trust and communication is crucial in a relationship and it seems lacking here. And dont give him your phone either. He won’t like that. Then the real question of your problem will probably come out then and it will either fix things or end things…
I guess you should do the same, then hear what he got to say about such act, hope he will be ok with that too
Why do you allow him to take your phone and use it whenever he wants you need to do the same thing hes doing to you
Its should be a two way street its a phone why can u not go on it like whats there start being like that to him and see how he feels if he doesnt like it then let him know you agree trust is everything password on your ohone not letting your s/o go on it is just weird
You got pregnant very early in the relationship maan! You didn’t even got to know this stranger you are living with. Leave or stay with your stranger girl YOUR life YOUR decision
I just went thru almost the same situation except I had his code…leave hes definitely hiding shit.
dang man, i wish i could give advice but not gonna because I felt the same about my b/f…child and all too, boo. But how I resolved it…I let it go, changed my password, and left it alone. I realized some was my own insecurities…so I left it at, if he is doing anything in the dark, it will come to light, and worked on me and my own trust issues. If you can’t trust him, trust your instinct and heart. Good luck babes!!
LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE. If he could disrespect you in such a way whilst you’re pregnant with HIS CHILD then he is an awful partner and deserves to be left with nothing. He’s clearly hiding shit from you and if he knew you could see his comment on a EX’s page but didn’t care he probably has or will do worse without any consideration for your feelings. Get the fuck out of there hunny you deserve better.
Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing
Yes. Walk away now before you get hurt. They wont give it cause they dont want you to look thru the phone unannounced. Period. Dont waste your time. Leave.
His phone…does not Have to allow you to look thru it…especially if you had a fit cz nd liked a pic…so what…I’ve always felt phones ,purses nd wallets …if you want to let him have access to your phone that you!
I see red flags, follow your gut after all it’s always right. If a man don’t let you see his phone, then they’re hiding something because in a relationship there is no secrets or hiding stuff! I’ve been with my man for almost 6 years and we don’t have passwords on our phones but I can tell you that phones can destroy relationships trust me it has a few times with ours. That’s how affairs start, that’s when deleting texts/calls begin, that’s when people start putting passwords on theirs phones so their partners can’t see so yes i do think you should worry if you can’t even touch his phone without him flipping out. but if you really love each other then you will have to find a way to make it work. If you cant, then that’s when you need to decide if it’s worth it or not to stay in the relationship. I say run!
Change your password
Should be trust both ways ? I’d be concerned why he’s not treating you same with trust n consideration ? Negative behavior brings on negative actions n consequences 30 yrs married bern through lots ,communication goes both ways and trust too!!!
No trust no relationship
End it he is hiding something.
Why do you need his password? It’s his phone, his privacy. Doesn’t mean he is hiding anything. If you gave him yours, that’s on you. It’s up to him. If you don’t like it, you seriously need to take a look at yourself and your relationship, and the trust that lacks. I gave my password to my boyfriend and his to me. I honestly don’t remember it nor do I care to go through it- not my business. Trust and respect go both ways.
All the women who say leave his ass, Grow up.
How will this help your relation apparently ther are trust issues you two don’t have your lives in order and there’s a child, other than the phone how does your relationship work spend time together as a family maintain a job and being jealous is a big down fall remember most of us have baggage and how you deal with this could make a major difference in a relationship stornger or weaken it and there are different levels of love and with an ex if it ended on some common you can still be respectable to each other anyways,in you two there is a child involved and you leave because of phone, step back think this through
Change your password and let him ask you to use your phone again. Don’t be submissive to his hypocrisy. It is not fair or right that the rules are not equal. You deserve to be treated equally.
We each speak from our own experiences. Listen to your heart. Do you love him, trust him, is he a good man and father? If not wanting to share his phone is your only problem, you are very lucky. Put another password on your phone and tell him he gets it when he shares his. Share and share alike in a committed relationship.