My boyfriend won't do anything with me that he did with his ex: Thoughts?

He sounds like a moron

2 Likes

Are you sure she’s the narcissist?

7 Likes

move on, NO baby !!

He isn’t over her. Find someone that wants to do things with you and for you and not hung up on someone of the past.

8 Likes

Stay with him and accept that is how it is or leave, but if you stay please don’t bring a baby into that horrible mess.

8 Likes

Why would you even be with him?

This can’t be a serious question :woman_facepalming:t3:

1 Like

I’m sorry but he says that to your face? Honey… leave.

Honey I think the narcissist is him!
Sounds like a total lunatic run for the hills

2 Likes

Um no. That’s insanity.

A couple different perspective from 3 of my personalities.
1.] He was taken advantage of financially, emotionally, etc. And is making sure that NEVER happens again. So he does the minimal(Typical trauma response)
2.) Fears you leaving him and again, is doing the minimum so that it hurts less when you do break his heart (also a typical trauma response)
3.) He’s not that into you perhaps
Either way sounds like he needs therapy and you need to gtfo.
Sending lots of love

6 Likes

He is still hung up on his ex…run!!

1 Like

I mean, it’s this what you want to deal with for the rest of your life? He sounds childish.

Run girl and fast definitely DO NOT even think about bringing a child into this.

1 Like

Just gross. I couldn’t imagine feeling like I’m trying to compete with a ex in my relationship. Dude sounds super immature. Don’t have no babies with him, he already did that with his ex :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

2 Likes

Time to leave. He won’t cook for you because he cooked for his ex? Girl bye. You deserve better.

4 Likes

He sounds like the narcissist

2 Likes

You lost me at “we’ve been on and off a couple years now”. Move on already.

10 Likes

Girl he doesn’t love you or want a child with you. Lord have mercy, read what you wrote and ask yourself what you’d say if someone asked you the exact same thing. He wants his ex wife

8 Likes

Next time he asks for BJ… tell him you can’t Bc you did it to your ex.

22 Likes

Find someone who enjoys your company.

Can’t believe you keep going back to that piece of sh**!!!

You should be checked regularly regardless when you get your Pap smears and you can ask for the additional testing that’s not included. You need pap smears even if ur not having sex and the fact he dont want to be tested is ALARMING!!! WE NEED REGULAR GYNO VISITS FOR MANY REASONS!!

1 Like

Do you guys have sex lmao be careful he did that with his ex wife too

5 Likes

Hes extremely immature. If I were you,I’d RUN!

Don’t walk away… RUN!!!

1 Like

This doesn’t sound like competition to me, spunds like hes afraid to put himself out and open to someone like that again… either way its an issue that will result in ur relationship failing if he doesn’t try

1 Like

That’s fucking weird in general to just keep finding reasons to bring her up like that trust me run lol

Why are you even staying with him, let alone thinking of having a child with him!? Yikes. Run.

1 Like

He said “I do” to his ex, do you really believe he will ever say it to you? Wake up sweetheart. You deserve better! Good luck.

A man will do right for the right woman…you obviously are not it. I’d bet he’s still hung up on the ex. Run…run far, run fast…and for the love of god, don’t reproduce with this man!

1 Like

Maybe you ought to ask him why he is with you? Save yourself girl

Sounds like a prick. What sort of person throws their ex at their current partner and expects to keep them? Love yourself gf. Leave him.

7 Likes

Don’t start having babies with this man, I can tell you that!

4 Likes

I mean…he could just have his guard up. Y’all have been OFF AND ON for a couple years. But does anybody else feel like all these questions are fake?..

1 Like

Wtf, he’s still hooked on his ex. If he can’t commit fully let him go. You deserve someone who is 100% in love with you.

2 Likes

He still loves his ex

1 Like

Run far away from this man.

4 Likes

Next time he wants sex, tell him you can’t, you did that with your ex…

17 Likes

Girl please run!!! Leave him alone

Sounds like he’s still in love with her, and would go back to her if she wanted him. That child of his is an excuss he’s using.
U need to move on, he dont love you, if he did, he wouldn’t kept bringing her up. One big hurt is better then all those little ones he’s going to cause you. Dont walk, run and tell him to stay the hell away from you, gound a man that will love you and have ni baggage.

2 Likes

Sounds like someone broke him and his not really -willing to put himself out there again. Counselling

How on earth do some women put up with this crap then say you want a baby with him. :woman_facepalming:

16 Likes

Another question, why would you want a child with him for the way he treats you, do you not think he will throw up his son to you saying their child is better th as n the one he would have with you. What’s the matter with you, why would you want to bring a child into your messed up relationship with him. A child want make it any better or make him love you. Dont bring a child into this messed up relationship you have with him…

5 Likes

Im so sorry. You don’t deserve to feel like you’re not good enough. I would leave amd stay gone. He isn’t worth it.

No u are not wrong your your relationship is going no wear so I would do some hard thinking about it leave or stay

1 Like

Sounds like he is either still hurting from the relationship or he’s not over her. U can be in a relationship, Move on thinking your completely over it but the hurt is still there which doesn’t necessarily mean that he misses her or loves her or wants to be with her etc. People take time to heal. Maybe some traits remind him of her? Either way I wouldn’t have kids w him if this is the case. He needs to grow up.

4 Likes

Do not have a child with this man. He’s still stuck on his ex.

11 Likes

Why would you subject yourself to that?

2 Likes

Don’t Have A Baby With This Man. If you want a baby get in vitro or something else. This sounds like it is on the verge of toxic. Do you really want to do this?

First, if he doesn’t e

He won’t cook and other things because he did that with/for his ex? What in the fuckery… so does he wipe his own ass and brush his own teeth because im assuming he did that stuff while he was with his ex :woman_facepalming:

2 Likes

Are you sure the ex is the narcissist and not him. Sounds like he’s manipulating you.

11 Likes

His ex wife isn’t the narcissistic, he is by the sounds of it

7 Likes

Counseling. Counseling for you and for the relationship

From the sounds of it, it seems as if he isn’t over her. Most often, a man who genuinely loves his partner will never compare her to an ex, especially one they claim was damaging, let alone another woman in general; that’s degrading. And, maybe, there is a reason she is the way that she is with him, it could be the result of how he treated her. While no one is perfect, my concern is, he’s a narcissist, and “grooming” you to be the “ideal” victim in which he has all hands in deck in regards to manipulation. My suggestion is, tread lightly.

4 Likes

Just tell him the only man that ever made you orgasm was the one before him :relieved::roll_eyes::rofl:! Maybe then he’ll learn​:woman_shrugging:t4:

16 Likes

Leave. He will never be a real partner to you.

7 Likes

I have a feeling his ex wasn’t the problem he was.

5 Likes

I’m sorry to say i would leave him but stay on good terms with him if he means that much to you. It don’t even sound like a relationship due to his ex wife.

Ew. Hes still stuck on his ex.

1 Like

So since he had sex with his ex, is he not having sex with you since he don’t wanna do anything he did with her?? Lol sounds like he’s playing you.

2 Likes

Are you sure hes not the narcissist??

5 Likes

Why would you want a child with him?

:sweat_smile: please do not have a child with him. Do yourself a favor and move on before you end up pregnant with his baby and you’re stuck with him in your life. Find a man who isn’t thinking about their ex.

13 Likes

Are you just desperate? A sucker for less?
Ughhhhhhh move in mate! Like today!

I don’t know who is laughing but this is not funny. She feels from this post like she is not loved. That he loves his ex still. I would say if he can not commit then leave. The heartache isn’t worth it

6 Likes

Tell him that train left the station. Time to move on

1 Like

Sorry this man has problems. Get away ASAP.

2 Likes

Run chick run as fast and as far as you can

5 Likes

He sounds like a d*ck!

2 Likes

Do not have a child with him. Do get checked out for your peace of mind. You are a closet girlfriend, he doesn’t want to be with you in public. I have been in that type of relationship and it is a dead end. Sounds like he isn’t over his ex yet. AND why doesn’t he want to be checked?? Does he have an STD?? Take care of yourself for your children’s sake.

4 Likes

Sounds like a waste man

Tell him he breathed when with her so he better stop now! Sounds like a man child! Tell him to grow up and act a man

7 Likes

You need someone in your life that shows you respect. This man doesn’t seem to get it.

3 Likes

A true partnership is give and take on both sides and a lot of compromise. If he’s unwilling to give and all he does is take you don’t need him in your life. You can’t pour from an empty cup you need someone who’s willing to help refill your cup. Sounds to me like he ain’t it.

1 Like

Every relationship is different. Why would you want your relationship to be like the o e he had with his ex-wife? Clearly that didn’t work out. Focus on building your own relationship and not trying to make your relationship like a past relationship.
Maybe she was mean or hurtful to him about his cooking.
If you’ve been together and both already have children why do you need to be tested for anything? If you’re cycle isn’t regularly that’s no reason for him to need any type of testing.
This relationship sounds way too unstable to bring a child into the mix.

3 Likes

Thats weird as fuck. If leave

Sounds like he still attracted to her…You need to find someone who would love to do things for YOU …you are so worthy of this…Leave this MF …and. Dont look back…

2 Likes

Why waste your time struggling something you will never have leave might hurt now but true happiness isn’t with this guy now make your choice!!!

1 Like

Get out. What he used to do before he won’t now?! Rediculous. Has he stoped eating showering hobbies, etc? No, he’s just found a way out of being a responsible adult and contributing partner. You’ll turn into his servant soon. He’ll make it out like you’re the bad person for expecting him to pull his own weight. sounds pretty Narcisstic himself.

5 Likes

But you’re going to continue to bring a child into this🤦🏻‍♀️

1 Like

Next time he wants sex refuse as he done it with her

5 Likes

You obviously know his behavior is balogna. Why continue to accept it?

2 Likes

Sounds like he isn’t over her, you are wasting your time.

5 Likes

Sounds like he’s really the narc. Classic triangulation

4 Likes

Why are you even still entertaining him??

I actually married into a family of Narcissist’s and over the course of 12 years I have had the pleasure of learning all there is to know about this behavior and here’s what I can tell you.
No amount of love in the world is worth what this behavior does to your mental state and from what you just described, it’s not the ex with the behavioral problem, it’s him. Please do not let this man mind fuck you into believing the ex is the one with the problem. He’s clearly the one with the issue and you cannot compete with this. The best thing you can do for yourself, your child, and this crazy man, is to just leave.

Lord Child :woman_facepalming:t2: why are you still with a man that clearly is still in love with his Ex.
You need to come to terms with it and leave him.
Find someone that will love you and not give you lame excuses!! He sounds like a peach :roll_eyes:

I think you need to decide if you really want a partner who refuses to do any normal home life or relationship stuff Bc of an ex. Do not have any children with him Bc he’s clearly not ready to really be with you. You’re already off and on for years do you really think your relationship ship is in the best position to try for a baby? They don’t help already strained relationships.

2 Likes

Sounds like to him no one will ever replace or take her place in his heart.

1 Like

Some of these questions make me wonder about the well being of y women after hearing him answer to things in this manner why are u even considering continuing a relationship far less bring a new child into this relationship he obviously isn’t prepared to wholly give himself to u so why would u step up to sacrifice your body to have a man that has to compare his last relationship as a guide as to what he is willing and not willing to do. Do better and respect yourself more cuz u cant be serious.

He doesn’t respect you, so respect yourself enough to make a change

Hes too wrapped up in his ex and showing you that she means more to him than you do you need to run. If yall have been off and on already then I wouldnt even consider kids with him.

1 Like

He sounds like the narcissist. I’d leave this relationship tbh.

1 Like

Please do not have a child with a man child. That is so immature and he is still under her spell. No you’re not wrong for how you feel. He’s immature.

next time he wants sex say no thanks only my ex has tested that and it shall stay that way

4 Likes

Oh honey…get outta there. Why are you putting up with that garbage?

You need to sit down calmly with him and just ask him why is it that he refuses to do things with you that he did with his “ex”? There has to be a valid reason. Men are pretty simple people, in that what you see is what you get. By no means does it imply that he is still madly in love with his ex.
Make sure that neither of you has anywhere to run off to, so that you can really talk properly after it with no recriminations. If you feel brave enough and really want to lay out all your feelings then ask him straight out if he’s still in love with his ex and that you would rather know than continue living the way you are now. It is the best thing he could do for you if it’s true, even though it will hurt like hades. He owes you that.
Some men (and women) just don’t like to revisit places that bring back bad memories, vibes or energy but don’t like sharing it either because it makes others think that they’re weak.
Maybe he is scared to have another child in case your relationship breaks up and he only gets to see this child half time as well. When you talk remain calm no matter what he says or how he says it. Acknowledge any and all his real and perceived complaints
You need to open up those lines of communication between the two of you and lay all your cards on the table, so to speak and hopefully everything will work out beautifully for you both.
Maybe even consider Relationship Counselling. Good luck