Just my thought. Sounds as if you have a handle on your kids. An if he doesn’t make that son show respect an to help keep the home in order, ur bf will be sry when his son ends up be useless an lazy, put much a child must have reponseable. He not on the same page as you, rethink your relationship with dad. The will suffer because no one is going to go to work make house bills or clean for him as an adult. He’s in my opinion going to be raising him way past 30.
Does your even fella help around the house? If not leave your being taken for a cleaner/nanny not a partner.
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At 16 years old this child is able to and should be responsible enough to pick up after himself, wash his own laundry, wash his own dish when dinner is over, and manage to take out the trash and maybe more mow the lawn to earn some of his privileges. Otherwise mom needs to teach her children to be responsible and do the same. I don’t think it’s quite fair to go behind stair stepping children and pick their messes up. The 16 year old should have some responsibility but responsibility that pertains to himself to ensure he grows up to be a respectful responsible young man. I don’t agree with not having any responsibility I just disagree that it consists of picking up messes small children are making. They should be taught to pick their own messes up. I can’t imagine a 16 year old young boy could make a huge mess and if he did, he would pick it up. He should actually be working a part time job after school and learning how to take care of himself, not toddlers and small children’s messes.
It’s hard with a blended family. We created one and it wasn’t easy for either side. Like you I am very strict with my children, manners game time etc. His had very little of either but we had to compromise so I let go a little off of mine and added to theirs and kind of level out the playing field. It can work let go of the reigns a little and add a little slowly with his. Be persistent if it’s going to be a long term arraignment. All kids need boundaries and respect for their elders. And lead by example
I totally agree Niki Harkleroad.
It’s all good for kids to have chores.
And I know a bunch of parents are going to get butthurt about this, but…
I can’t stand parents that act like their kids are servants or some shit.
My parents were like that.
We did all the cleaning, yard work, farm work, etc. All of it.
Parents didn’t do a gotdamn thing.
You’re the adult. It’s your home. Your children. You and your bf should be taking care of the house and doing the chores. Not the kids.
It’s not the kids responsibility. It’s the adult’s. Let the kids be kids.
Also, it’s your bf kid. Not your kid.
You’re not his mom, or step-mom.
This kid got a whole new crew, not by his choice. You obviously parent different than he does. Respect that.
You’re going to cause a whole bunch of hard feelings and drama just because you don’t want to clean up after your own kids and your bf. Period.
Why should this 16 year old be cleaning up after you and your kids? Not his responsibility.
Tell the Dad STOP coddling your son . If not send them both packing !!
I believe if you help clean where you live … Sounds like an entitled brat .
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The 1st problem is your boyfriend
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There are enough kids in there to divide up chores, including the 16yr old. His attitude comes from his dad, so that’s who she should have the biggest problem with. They can all split responsibilities… bathroom, dishes, laundry, pet care, and all keep their personal space clean. Even the 3 yr old can “help mommy cook” or put away groceries…because they love to help and that’s how you get them started
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UNPOPULAR VIEW HERE, So you brought 5 ppl into the home where the teenager lived with his Father and feel the RIGHT to delegate CHORES to him? Was this discussed between the 3 of you BEFORE you and you’re 4 children moved in? How long have you and dad been dating BEFORE moving in? Was the Teenager even considered when bringing 5 ppl into HIS life? My advice would be , STOP acting as a WIFE to a man that’s NOT you’re husband, Playing house with this kids Father DOSEN’T make you HIS mother, Nor dose it give you the RIGHT to impose YOUR parenting style on you’re BOYFRIENDS son. Ma’am You brought 4 children into this relationship, 3 being the youngest,as a parent of 30yrs I can GUARANTEE a destroyed house is from 4 little ones, NOT a 16 yr old boy. RESPECT is EARNED ma’am, especially when it comes to a CHILD You didn’t Bare, Birth Nor raise for 16 yrs! I surely WOULDN’T make my 16 yr old pick up after YOU’RE 4 kids either! If chores are given to the Teenager, they need to be delegated by DAD!
I think it is about respect. Your bf doesn’t respect your request and doesn’t think his kid should do anything. He’s teaching him it’s ok. And he’s continuing the chain of disrespect. His son won’t know how to care for himself and he’ll be a slob or guess what??..expect others to do it for him. You tried.
Why shouldn’t his kid have to help? Is he golden? The dad is a fool. Hes not helping the situation.
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Oh hell no , at 16 he does have to help and if his father doesn’t see it that way , I’d send them both packing… You are a family now and everyone chips in whether the want to or not !!
Yes he should help around the house of course not all by himself but he’s part of that family and he needs to help around the house period.
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Every one should help in the household that being said I’m recently remarried and now have 18, 20, 14 yr step kids. Hubby doesn’t have them do anything so guess who does. You either do it all or have every one helps. I’m looking forward to when they are all over 18
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I have a question…if you BF doesn’t expect 16 year old boy to pick up after himself…does the BF help out…
Asking a 16 year old to help should be a given…in a few years he will be out on his own…at that age they should know how to run the washer, cook for themselves…keep a tidy place…the father is not doing his son a justice if he lets him float through life…maybe get him to help you cook…show him how…and doing this together is a good way to connect… sounds to me it’s the father that is the trouble not the child
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pre marital counseling before merging two families is a good idea.
It’s not to late to seek help on how to be a functioning family.
Do kids feel content in relationships their parents are in when they live together but don’t commit to marriage ?
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You won’t win. My hubby and i are done because his 30 year old would never help out. He has lived with for NOTHING 3 TIMES… this time over a year… bought 4 vehicles for him and he doesn’t do a damn thing. I finally gave my hubby a choice. He chose his 30 year old son.
I would disapline my kids and allow the bf to disapline his. That 16 yo just got 5 people thrown at him. He is not responsible to pu after anyone but himself.
Tbh the issue is his dad, he believes his son shouldn’t have to do anything so the lad thinks the same, easy fix don’t do anything for them, no cooking, no laundry no nothing, watch their attitude to helping changes when they have no clean clothes or underwear. If they aren’t willing to help maintain the home as a whole then don’t lift a finger to help them make them maintain themselves.
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Your boyfriend is half your problem.
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I agree that he should be helping and doing chores and should get the wifi password when it’s done, as well with anything else he would like. Nothing wrong with putting your foot down. Make your bf do it too! If the bf won’t have him do anything time to rethink being together
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I have a 16 year old and he has chores. He does his own laundry, cleans the bathroom, his room, and helps clean up dishes. Mind you I just implemented a rule about dishes ( because it was driving me crazy everyone would leave dishes in the sink when we have a dishwasher.). So I made a sign letting every one know when the dishwasher was dirty so when the sign is out everyone has to rinse their own dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Everyone in my house has their own chore list. My oldest is main bathroom, dinner dishes ( pots and pans), and his room ( mind you he helps watch his siblings when needed and also has a job. My middle son has to cleaning out dishwasher and small powder room, clean his room, plus taking out the dog. My youngest has to straighten up his toys, feed and give water to the dog, and clean up his room. It is all about everyone helping. Kids need to pitch in to ensure the house is nice and runs well.
I’ll pack up my kids and move out! Your kids shouldn’t have to deal with that nonsense! They have to clean and the 16yr old king just sits there and grows ball and Dad is okay with it! Life is to short to deal with the BS! Good Luck
You are a dumb bitch leave his sorry ass take your kids and go live with them
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I’d rather be single than deal with that nonsense. The Dad and his son pitch in or they can pack up.
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Father should tell son to help out
Move out and date your boyfriend… why live together and have all the extra stress.
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Ummm,u knew what u were gettin into before u moved in with this fool who obviously lacks the nuts to make his entitled son do anything…proceed with caution when “marriage” comes into the mix 
Seems like my boy, he says I didnt make the mess I’m not cleaning it . And he is right, the mess is mainly from my 7 yr old . I pick up and clean the house myself no help and I have a 16,15, 7 and 15 days away from another .
Get rid of the boyfriend
Mom you be in a pickle . But listen . Because you and him are living together . You got yours and he has his. He has said his do not have to do anything . And his is not disciplined at all. So he is as his father. Not disciplined. If the man is not slinging , working helping you and all of y’all there together where you slaving. I do not if you believe you have a Future with your BF. If not , you got to look ahead in the future and determine where you and yours want to be. If he have not put a rang for that thang , then he can fly as the crow flies leaving you and yours to fend for yourself. So you know the bf attitude about his boy . No guessing there. The only decision that needs to be made is for you and yours . What you going to do and what do your future looks like without him. Be real , both of them needs to hit the door . Ya hear.!! You do not need the boy bad example around your Kidz . Can you do without this man? If so, make a decision. Everybody works or the non workers got to hit the door. Be sure to let other people know what you doing so you have help when the bf and his kid want to raise up on you. You, momma got to make wise and determined decision not only for now but for 5 years from now. See, you can do bad all by yourself. You got your house in order , your Kidz and you . You ain’t no body momma , not the boyfriend, not his son. Be sure , others key people know what’s up . I will pray for you to do well and stay free from unnecessary drama. Life too short . For real . Alright, I salute you!
You might just be a bit of a control freak… if your BF isnt supporting you and the decisions you are making. ?
Then you are just the housekeeper with benefits.
As for the older kid. Well hes not wanting g to be as controlled as your kids are. .there is such a thing as to much control.
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Sit his ass down and set rules
Yes he should clean the hold house by himself and see how the others feels about clean after his ass throw the kid out out out
If you live as a shared household ALL kids should follow the same rules, be held to the same accountability for chores, etc. As parents you need to get on the same page and then you will be able to raise all the kids fairly and equally.
Hope things change for the better! 
Either he follows the rules or electronics go…if the others can do it so he can he. Prepare for fall out from him but it’s best in the long run. BF should be on board also unless he wants his kid in the basement the rest of his life. If he does, best to find out now. No rules raises lazy adults…parents job is to raise responsible adults. Good Luck.
This is why I will not date a man with kids. Went through this with my ex and his kids and I don’t want to ever again.
Kick the bf and his problematic son out! The sooner the better!
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You and your bf should sit down with him and talk to him. Because if one person is telling him one thing and the other is telling him no don’t do it no respect is there.
Change password and take away all electronic devices that you and he have bought for him. Also no friends over unless he does his daily chores
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Oh change the password he lives there to so he should help also. Not fair to your kids. His sin should have to do something
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He is 16 and lives under your roof, he definitely HAS to help out. Unless he doesnt make any of the messes AND is paying rent… then he helps out to pay for the roof over his head and the food you provide
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Hell yes change the password !! Everyone needs to pitch in !
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If the bf dont think I he should help. Then the bf should pick up the slack. If he wants his child to be lazy that’s on him.
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Keep the wifi password as well.
He should definitely help. My sixteen year old protests every chore but he still does them or I go in his room and take his Xbox
Well the first problem is that the bf doesn’t agree with you
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House work is building life skills. More important than any internet pass word or video game time :).
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All children should be treated the same under the same roof. You and your bf need to get on the same page about ALL of the kids
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Keep the rules the same across the board. Talk to Hubby And make sure you stick to the rules stay on the same page don’t let the kids divide you.
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His kid should help or he Nd his kid should get out
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I say get rid of the bf. red flag should of triggered when he said his kid doesnt need to help
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So all the kids should follow the same rules. However I have more questions. Did you move into boyfriends house? Did they move into yours? If your boyfriend is not telling him the same as you are then you are setting yourselves up for failure. If you and boyfriend aren’t willing to commit to the same rules and consequences you might as well move out now because you have no chance.
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Tell your boyfriend to pay for a cleaner.
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Your boyfriend is his father and he needs to be on the same page with you about disciplining his son. I wouldn’t take away anything, but a loving and straightforward conversation with yourself, your bf and the 16yr old needs to happen. Let the 16yr old decide what kind of punishment he should get OR he can pick the reward that those who do chores get. That way your kids get further rewarded for their help and the 16yr old is picking a prize he might like to work for. He needs to see that positive action leads to reward.
Have compassion. It can’t be easy going from a one and only child to being 1 of 5. And he isn’t used to cleaning up for a large family either and might not realize the help is needed as much as it is!
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Well you can see where he got his behavior from. Daddy’s boy.
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If the boyfriend’s not helping either then I’d start with him first !
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U need to ditch the boyfriend
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ALL kids should be treated same which means ALL kids should have chores depending on age … He is 16 and can handle all chores and 13 should be pretty close to … Younger kids obviously not old enough to do all chores … If he doesnt want be part of family then he doesnt get privileges the other kids get such as electronics … He should get same discipline … If BF thinks u and ur kids are his kid servants he can take his kid to his mothers house … Or he and his kid can leave … Part of a relationship and a family is working together, respecting each other, caring and living … They dnt want help then they obviously dnt care or respect u and ur children … Its not fair ur kids to see his kid treated different and allowed be lazy
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Why should the 16 year old be treated any differently? Either he helps or has no privileges.
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My son is 16 and has a bad mouth sometimes ( but over all a good kid) I have no problem withholding wifi or money when he is being like that.
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Lol hahahahaha omg honey you are fighting a losing battle. I have the SAME problem my bf 16 year old daughter wont move .she literally lays in bed 24/7 with plates all over the room and trash and clothes everywhere if I try to clean it myself she gets mad. Her dad is scared to ask her to do anything because she might wanna live with her mom. My advice is to tell him to find a place of their own if he doesnt make his kid clean up after himself . If he doesn’t do it make them leave
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Does the boyfriend help ?
The 16 year old who was an only child it seems for his whole life is already being burdened by having to live with four younger kids now …the 16 year old should be responsible for cleaning up after HIMSELF and HIMSELF only…its not his job to help you clean up after YOUR kids…I’m sure he didnt ask for this 
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Responsibility is good for a teen. And for equality it’s not fair that your kids help and the older teen doesn’t. All kids need to help.
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U in the right anf if the two of them let yo kids do the cleaning they shld be ashamed no dam man lets kids get treated differently I’m a step dad and my kids all get the same treatment period 1 kid is mine and I do for all them as they was my own anf I never had to be asked how to treat them
Not sure why your bf thinks his kid should get special privileges. If it’s because he thinks women wait on men, better set him straight now. Does your bf help? He should be helping too. Change your password. Change your locks!
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You don’t HAVE to pay his bills either and you don’t HAVE to clean up after him and you also don’t HAVE to live there, you do because you want to and it’s the right thing to do so should EVERYONE in the house.
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If you live in my home you do chores or pay rent pick one.all children need to do chores
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Why shouldn’t he HAVE to help 
Yes he should help. So he knows his future wife is just that. A wife. Not his maid.
Change that password.
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All kids in the house should be treated the same. If the other kids have chores then, he has chores. If the other kids can’t have any electronics at a certain time then, he can’t. Also might be time for him to get a job and help pay some bills like, he’s phone and some rent. The only time I would say he shouldn’t have to clean up is if the mess was made by the other kids but, cleaning he’s room, doing the dishes and mowing the lawn are jobs he should be able to do.
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Sounds like the dad is lazy to make a 16 yo clean up after himself
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Run away! From personal experience with this exact thing, run away!
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Nope, let him get out and get a job. They want Wi-Fi going to pay for it. Nope. Not wrong at all needs to learn responsibility.
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My kids have to do their chores first before they can either play their game or whatever electronic they got. I have a 13 years old who always whining about chores but he know he can’t get his stuff until he get his chores done. You are not in the wrong to change Wi-Fi code or anything if your bf can’t step up and tell his kid to help, or anything, you can put your feet down and tell your bf how it is or when his kid move out, he will never know what adult does by being responsible.
End the relationship…if yr bf is not supportive of you or does not expect his kids to pull their weight then he does not value you. Responsibility and chores are good for kids
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I went through the same thing. It ended my relationship because my boyfriend sided with his kids for everything. I refused to live like a prisoner in my own home. You and him need to be a united front or it won’t work.
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I doubt youll get a 16 year old young man to suddenly start cleaning after 4 kids. Its unrealistic in my opinion and seems unfair, more chance with the partner. I wouldnt be changing wifi codes either hes a teenager going through teenage things good luck
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He has one you have 4 … Maybe he thinks of them as Santa’s little helpers …
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Leave him and his asshole kid
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So…it sounds like maybe you shouldn’t have just jumped the gun and moved in together. This isn’t just about what YOU want.
His rules and responsibilities shouldn’t change just because you all live together now, or just because that’s the way YOU choose to raise your children.
However, the teen can do HIS laundry. Clean up after HIMself in the bathroom. And can clean HIS own room.
I would be fighting like hell with an attitude if someone and her four kids moved in and then all my rules changed because of her. 
You are not his mom.
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Id talk to ur hubby and tell him to reconsider that because as a mom of 4 my 13 11 and 7 ur old know how to do chores…they may be lazy at times but that is when everything goes off. Hes 16 right now is when he shaping into the kind of man he will grow into…make it cool for him play music buy stuff that smells good to him maybe get a steam mop and have him mop! Those things r so fun lol! But every kid needs a chore…just saying💁
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Sounds like my ex husband and his annoying kid. Good luck.
Sounds like he follows in his dads footsteps as neither of them are helping you get your partner and his son to help
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His kid should be helping too.
Find a different boyfriend, he’s raising that kid to be as screwed up as him. I’m a firm believer if you’re part of the mess you can be part of the cleanup… If you’re doing anything for that kid as far as getting stuff ready for him, stop, show him that respect goes both ways.
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He lives there right?! He needs to do chores.
Blending family is hard enough as it is. If he’s unwilling to come up with solutions for what you struggle with and has that attitude, his son will pick up on it. If I were you, I’d reevaluate whether he’s the right life partner. Life’s hard enough as it is. You need a partner. Not a defensive selfish partner.
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Your job as a parent it to teach your children life skills including cleaning, helping others , general respect. Sounds like you are doing your best job as a parent, but your BF doesn’t care to teach his son these basic life skills, and let’s his son disrespect your family … I say RUN!!! For the sake of your kids RUN, people who let their own child disrespect you and your children don’t change, and that’s what the true problem it here.
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House rules shouldn’t be just for your children and you shouldn’t be treated like the little brats maid
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Change the password…that lazy 16 year old needs to get off his A** and help out around there!!
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At 16 I had a baby and a house to run no excuse …
Although my nearly 16 year old does nothing for herself so I’m a pot and the kettle is black
Your kids might end up resenting you for staying with your boyfriend and letting the 16 year old get away with everything, if they have to do it then he should too and if your partner can’t understand this then I would get rid. I think you are doing a great job letting your kids help out and limiting their screen time etc and it looks like both of them are bringing you and your kids down. Don’t let a relationship come between you and your kids
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Why shouldn’t this able bodied young adult not HAVE to do anything? That is ridiculous. That 16 year old needs to get a part time job AND do chores around the house. I’d change the WiFi password daily and make him earn it.
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Why shouldn’t he have to help clean the house???
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Your boyfriend doesnt help you either by the sound of it… His kid sees his dad not helping around either… You said YOU clean up after 7 people… Get out! Not gonna get any better for you.
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I’d stop cleaning or cooking for anyone besides you and your kids. When your bf complains say that you shouldn’t HAVE to cook for him and his son. You shouldn’t HAVE to clean for him and his son. Your kids shouldn’t HAVE to help keep the house in order if he doesn’t
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Change that password and make him earn it… he should be doing things around the house as well or he needs a job and help with bills… I wouldn’t let my kids do all the work… if it was me I would def be looking for somewhere else to live