Advice needed! This may be a bit long, so if you read it all, thank you for your patience. I’m having an issue with my boyfriend’s family. A little background: We’ve been together for almost three years, I have four children, not biologically his, but he loves them and treats them as his own. My boyfriend was living with his mother when we met; he was here to help his mom after his father passed away. I had my own home when we met but ended up having to leave it after some issues with my landlord. My children and I moved in with my boyfriend and his mom. I feel as though his family doesn’t like me, specifically his older brother and his wife, which I’ve never spoken to either enough (or at all, really) for them to have really formed an opinion about me, and yet they don’t care for me it seems. They do not speak to me; any time I’ve said hi, they walk by and don’t even acknowledge that I’m even there. We did get invited to their home for their youngest daughters birthday party last May, his wife’s family was there, and again no one spoke to me at all, I was introduced to them by my boyfriend, I said hello, and literally no one said a word to me, not hi, not nice to meet you… Absolute silence. I have social anxiety, so it’s not easy for me to speak to people, but I’m not rude and will say hello. No one spoke to us while there, and as we left, again nothing was said, no thank you for coming, no thank you for the gift, nothing. There have been a few issues that have arisen, such as during the summer we had an issue with their cat destroying our kid’s pool, no offer to replace or take responsibility, my boyfriend’s sister in law completely ran over and destroyed a fire pit that we built, didn’t tell us it happened, and they never even offered to help fix it or acknowledge any responsibility for it at all, and just a few weeks ago was the breaking point for me when their youngest daughter, who is five years old told my youngest daughter that is eight years old that I cheated on their father, which is completely untrue, and I can’t prove that she heard it from her parents, but I’m not sure where a five-year-old would get such an idea. It was confirmed by her that she did, in fact say it when I asked her about it, and she said she didn’t hear it from anyone. We haven’t brought any of this up to them because we don’t want to cause conflict in the family, but I’m at my wits end with it all. I don’t like feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around his family. We do live with his mother, but we pay rent to live here, we pay for all the television streaming services, and we buy all of the groceries to help out. I think his mom likes me alright, but even that’s a struggle sometimes. We buy groceries, and of course, we ask her things she’d like to have so we can buy them, she won’t really tell us anything, and a day or two after our grocery shopping she’ll go buy a ton of her own stuff, which is fine, but she then complains that no one eats what she likes, and so she buys her own. I cook almost every meal, and she again complains that no one likes or eats what she does. I definitely try to make meals she enjoys too, and every once in awhile, she’ll eat dinner with us, but she usually comes in while we’re eating and makes her own meal. She buys drinks and snacks to keep in her room and hardly comes out from there. She doesn’t really sit in the family room and interact much. We do talk some throughout the day, but not a ton. I do try to be more understanding of her because, before me, it was just him and her, so she would make his breakfast, pack his lunches, have his clothes ready, etc. All the things that I now do for him, so I feel like her treatment towards me could have something to do with that, but I don’t know where the hostility from his brother and sister in law is coming from. He and his brother haven’t always gotten along super great since childhood due to the age difference and things that happened between them. I don’t know what to do. We’re saving for our own place, although his mother doesn’t really want him to leave. I’m not sure what to do anymore. How would you all handle the situation, try to make it better, or just ignore it all and don’t cause friction?
Stop worrying about people who clearly dont worry about you. You and ur bf just keep doing you. Dont go out of ur way to interact…they ignore u so u should ignore them. As for mom in law in could be lots. Depression from the husband loss and you “taking her son away”. Just sit down with her and talk.
Dont kiss anyone’s ass , if they dont like you and dont care to share why then that isnt your problem. Keep doing you, save up so you guys can have your own place and leave it at that.
Seems like you and your kids took up the boyfriends moms house and his brother and mom talk about you taking up the house butdo t want to lose relationship with her son. You should get out of her house with all them kids they arent even her own grand children and the relationship would probably improve.
You moved yourself and four kids into her personal space and took over her house as if it is yours. Did SHE actually want you to move an entire family in or was it your boyfriend and you who decided that?
You know some people will not like you for no reason at all. I would just ignore it and not go to any of their functions. They could not like you too because you and your kids moved into his moms house. It could be a number of reasons I wouldn’t worry about it.
Honestly don’t waste your time worrying about his mom. She clearly feels threatened by you. When a family is like this for no reason it is them not you!! It’s funny how people are saying don’t live at the moms house but you said y’all are trying to move and and she doesn’t want him to. That just sounds like mama doesn’t want to be alone without her son! Ignore it and move out when you guys are ready. But don’t force it just because she is making you uncomfortable! Make sure you’re ready!
Oh you poor lady,get your own place i wouldn’t be able to deal with all that drama thats mean.Feel sorry for you people are just YUCK creatures when they are nasty.I hope you move somewhere where you feel comfortable and don’t give them the time of day
Stay kind and give no shits. Sometimes people are just so unhappy with themselves or they are so in their own ways they think everyone needs to be the same way. Been there done that still doing that.
It seems like the mom and brother and his wife do in fact have a problem with you probably staying in her house with all of your children. But the mom isn’t going to say anything for the sake of the relationship of her son. I’ve been on both sides of this, sleeping on someone’s couch, or someone on mine. And neither is an easy position to be in. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad but it should 100% be top priority to get your own place.
Look not trying to be Ugly, your boyfriend moved in with His mother to help her out, and now has you and FOUR kids taking over HER home, the Fact you stated She stays in Her room in Her own Home should speak volumes to you. You are a grown woman with 4 children ,You need to move out IMMEDIATELY!
Honey if my son showed up with a girlfriend and four kids to live with me I would not like it either.
I would never even if loosing my house ect I would get another anyway, somehow. No way would I of moved a whole already made family into a family who has no connection to u or them kids. Forget that
You and your family need to get out of there ASAP. I’m not saying anything bad about you or your kids at all but it seems the mom and the brother and sister in law probably feel you’re taking advantage of the mom’s house etc. Believe me they talk and they do not look at the good you do. They think you’re taking advantage. You need to get your family out of that house and into your own home. Make it your own space. Then not only will they no longer have a reason to be so petty, you will be way less stressed.
Its a lot of added stress and a huge burden to your boyfriend’s mom, for you and 3 children to just up and move in to her home. Did she invite you to live there? Or was it him? To put it frank, it sounds like her and his brother’s family don’t feel that you should be there. I would never move in to my significant other’s parent’s home with that many kids. I have 3 of my own, and it is a lot to deal with. If I were you, you and your man should expedite finding your own home, even if it means renting a cheap place for a while.
I would move out of that home immediately. That negative and emotions are not good for the kids. Do your own thing. Forget what people think. Social Anxiety can be a target for people that don’t understand that. They see it as weird or rude unfortunately. As long as your bf has to our back and knows you then focus on the positive.
Sounds like the mothers feels threatened or unneeded and who knows what she has said to the family ! Id honestly look somewhere else to live . You do not need this treatment , you are only doing what any woman would do for their partner , and you’d think his mother would be grateful that you take the time to look after your partner !! If she accepted you moving in , this is on her BUT like I said , I would definitely been looking for my own place ! This doesn’t sound healthy , and your children will pick up on how you are treated, if they already haven’t. Its not okay for your children to be placed in any type of toxic environment and this sure sounds like one !
To all the women who are saying you moved in with your 4 kids…thats his mom’s problem for saying yes in the first place. However, there are boundries, and depending on how long you’ve stayed you may have overstayed your welcome. I’d ask directly what the issue is…in a non confrontational way, and ask if there’s anything you can help change in the mean time, let her know how grateful you are for her opening up her home and address brother the same. That’s all you can do.
You need to find your own place
Surely your boyfriend has some idea what their problem is-have you asked him? I do agree with the others here, move out.
Ask your boyfriend To ask his family but the problem is And to not put up with that
Or ask them yourself And then you can Figure out what you can do
I would ask him right out Would you like me to leave
Don’t live there like that
The fact that your boyfriend moved you in to his mother’s house imo is the reason that no one likes you. How long you were with him before you moved in has a lot to do with it also. His mother is not comfortable at all with you there and I’m sure she’s not happy her son is dating a woman with 4 kids that are not his and is taking care of them. She too is helping as it is her house no matter how much rent you pay and bills, she is still housing you and your children. Do you work? Does she have to babysit often? I’m sure the rest of the family is upset for her. The good news is once you move out, what they say won’t matter. If your boyfriend loves you and your kids and is a decent guy then you hit the jackpot. Leave her home and get your own place ASAP.
Please move out. It will help so much. I’m sure you living with him a d his mom was probably supposed to be a temporary thing and it sounds like you and yours have overstayed your welcome.
Not bashing, as my husband and I lived with his parents for a bit so I can relate a bit. But we never took over the house to the point where his parents hid in their rooms. We tried our best to respect their space as it was there house. We also made it clear we were actively looking for another home and kept them updated on our progress. It doesn’t sound like you’re doing that as you didn’t mention looking… it would go a long way to move yourself and your kids out into your own place, so it doesn’t seem like you’re taking advantage of the situation.
Definitely make it better for yourself
I would ask his mother if you and your children living there makes it difficult for her. I would then speak with the boyfriend and see why you are treated badly by his bother and wife. I would not want to live that way and would be finding myself and children a place to live. This can not be good for your children either. Good luck and God bless.
It can be very overwhelming for the family . It was only he and his mom and then there’s 5 more … the family may feel as if it’s not fair to mom for him moving you and your children in. He should’ve just rented a place for him and your family instead of overwhelming mom with moving the family in. Seems like mom doesn’t want him to leave because she still needs him around , in that case he can find an apartment in the
Same block as her so she can stay close
You need to move out. It wasn’t a good idea to take you and your 4 kids to live with his family in the first place.
Utakenher place,that’s it
Ok you moved in his MOM’S house and you are wondering why the family is that way towrds you? First of all you should have never moved in his mom’s place before getting to know her and asking her. Come on…put yourself in his family’s shoes you have 4 kids that are not his you accept his offer to move in a home that is not his …then you wonder why people are not wanting anything to do with you. Think …think 
Save up and MOVE OUT!!! As far as them not liking you… oh well sucks for them! Sounds like a personal problem! As long as it’s not becoming an issue between you and your boyfriend then you shouldn’t give two fucks if they like you or not 
that’s just me though.
Move out & if the hostility carries on, move on as well.
Move out move on not worth a life of drama
If he has to stay there that’s fine but it sounds like you need to move out and get a place of your own and he can either come with or if you don’t mind he can stay and you guys can still date etc. until he’s ready to move in with you and you guys can continue on. Sounds like his mom is doing much better. But I have no idea. Overall I would go ask her if you’ve overstayed your welcome and if she wants you to move out and get a place of your own.
I would definitely keep my mouth shut until I could move out. You took over this woman’s house! It doesn’t matter if you pay rent and but groceries…you moved yourself and 4 kids into her house! Im assuming it was within the first year or so of you two being together…so its a BUNCH of people she doesn’t know! You took over her life! And have likely overstayed your welcome! The fact that she mostly stays put in her room says a lot. She doesn’t want to be around you. She wants her space back. Get the heck out of her house dude! And of course bf brother and sister inlaw don’t like you either, you’re taking advantage of his mom! 
ugh…girl I cant with you. You and your kids need to move out of that woman’s house and let her be!
I would move out and cut ties with them . No point in trying with them
You literally moved… 1,2,3, & 4… FOUR kids into this woman’s house 
id be annoyed & wouldn’t come out of my bedroom either 
grow up & move out.
No family can live together…move out asap
I could never move into someone’s home with my family and it’s just my wife, 1 child, and me. Its different when its one person, but 4 Kids!!! That’s outrageous… move asap…yall have taken over the lady’s house and now she feels like a prisoner in Her own home. Glad yall have income!
Easy get your own place!! Move out sorry but seriously you and your boyfriend need to stand on your own two feet!!
3 years and you haven’t made much communication no wonder they don’t care about you your like a complete stranger Don’t worry to much about it either your bf is the one who should care and love you not his family but maybe if you started talking to them they might actually have an opinion about you for now pretty much seems like your strangers also seems a little to force and then adding the kids no offense not that they aren’t his but its like he had a girlfriend and 4 kids one day to the other it was to fast and forced seems clear she don’t want you there I would move out boyfriend can grow up and move with you or stay and your mad they didn’t acknowledge you when you all showed up uninvited 🤦
4 kids is a lot to impose on someone. It sounds like they don’t like you because you’ve taken over their mothers house. You should move elsewhere with your kids and let your man decide if he wants to go with you or stay with his mom. You need to worry about your children and the kind of atmosphere you’re raising them in. It doesn’t sound like they’re very welcome in this current situation.
Its his mom that is talking bad about you to his siblings, even they don’t know you thats the only place they would be getting it from. Don’t walk on eggshells, go in there and just be yourself and if they want to be immature that’s there loss. I would move out as soon as you can afford and his mother will be just fine alone.
dont take me wrong but u said ur youngest is 8, meaning ur other children are already older… this may bother the family bcz older children need more space. im sure u dont keep them confined to ur bedroom so they are either using at least another bedroom, living room, etc. do u work? if u dont ur super wrong bcz imo, no mom that has children from another marriage should pile up sole responsability of her kids on the stepdad, even if he swears to u its ok. so yea, the family has alot to worry for him and of course the mom. even if its not ur intention but u ARE taking advantage of them in a way bcz this is his moms house and not his. she may not feel ok with being out and about ger own home cz im sure ur not saying the part ur kids play in the house. get out asap or get at least a part time. ur kids should help out with chores etc, they should ask the mom if they can help out w anything, even if she says no, but teach them how to be grateful for what they have. this will change the way they see u because maybe rite now they’re seeing u n ur babies as a burden…
I don’t want to sound mean but you moved 4 kids into a house that’s only had 2 people living in it. She is probably not handling all the stress of having a house full of kids in it. I had to live with my mom for a month once with 3 kids and it took a toll on her emotionally and physically. She needed her private time and space. You have to understand what she might be feeling. As for the in- laws I would just keep my distance and speak to your so about confronting them in the issue. But in all reality you need to get your own place. There is housing programs for families.
You must’ve moved into a hispanic family household 
Its the mum complaining about you to the siblings and they have formed their opinion from that
my only suggestion would be save up and move out unfortunately your going to be made to be the bad one no matter what you do
If you guys move out together she’ll be complaining you took her baby away if you stay you will be over staying your welcome unfortunately you are just going to have to ignore it and get on as hard as it is xx
I am truly sorry you are seeking advice & just getting rude people try to cut you down more.
I am with a man who chose to have no kids of his own, & I had 2 from a previous relationship. We also moved into his parents house for a bit to get on our feet without them really knowing me & the girls, & it was tough.
My best advice, is see if maybe just you & Mom can have a few hours out together & have a heart to heart with her. Ask her what you can do to make things better between you, & reassure her that your intentions are not to take her home, her son, or her “life” from her. Express to her that you would love to have a close relationship with her, & your only intentions are to love her & her son. Ask her directly if she would like you & the children to leave & if she says yes, set a date & stick to it. If shes on the fence about it, ask what you can do to ease some of the tension for her. Communication in a friendly manner is KEY to living together & having a happy life.
As for the brother & SIL, they sound JEALOUS that your kids are there & Mom probably doesn’t do as much for them or take their kids as much as they want… Tell them to BUG OFF. Honestly, if you speak to them & they ignore you, say it again, & again, until they acknowledge you, or get put on “front street”… If they destroy your things, demand a response. That is “bully” behavior & no better way to deal with a bully than to confront them head on.
But for your peace of mind, & if nothing can be solved by talking, make it a priority to find a place that is all yours. Im sure you miss being the woman of the house & you can truly only do that in your own home…
I’ve now been married 18 years, my husband raised my girls as his, & we are now welcoming grandchildren together…& my in-laws & I are very close & they feel so blessed that they have a family that they thought they would never have.
Communication really is key. Best of luck to you!
Get out of their mothers home and get your own place ! I would not like someone else and someone else’s children taking over my mum or dads home either. I guarantee this is the number 1 cause for their dislike of you.
I’ll tell you what my grandma tells me about every girlfriend that has lived in her house. For the love of god make sure your kids clean up after themselves especially being older. Do work around the house, fix it up. Have the kiddos mow the lawn. Make sure kitchen is clean and fridge is in order. Mabey mom has alot of time on her hands mabey offer to give her money for groceries that way she can buy for the household and you can buy your snacks. Make sure to include her in cooking things, act like you dont know how to cook a certain item and ask for her help. Grandmothers are very particular and she is more than likely telling her other children about you. I’ve heard every chisme there is lol and not sure how you dress but definitely dont wear revealing clothing when your his family is around it can come off as disrespectful. Just telling my thoughts from an old school family. Hope things work out!
Time to relocate yourself and your kids. This isn’t a healthy dynamic.
Every couple needs their own home for privacy and space. I think evergets along better that way. I, personally, could never live with family.
She was still getting his clothes ready for him? 
I feel his mom probably bad mouths yall and they feel as though you have over stayed your welcome. His mom probably complains to them and you say u never hardly speak do to social anxiety. They may misread this as a snub
Maybe after her husband passed away, she wants moments of silence. Kids Can be loud and All that Can be messy. Of course she will be annoyed. I think it’s better if you Get your own place. Everything will get better.
The one thing I will say is people need space. Sadly, not everyone is gonna like you and you won’t be everyone’s favorite. Everyone’s stressed, small home with a large amount of people. I would say for the sake of your children I’d move. However, this business with the niece coming up to your children and saying cruel things is done. Fact of the matter is I don’t care what issues you have with someone. It has NO BUSINESS for a child to hear, let alone repeat. I won’t be rude to you like most of these women because I understand it can be a struggle sometimes. Sometimes people fall short and have to start over, get you a good place, and start fresh for your babies. Xoxo.
Get your own place. He will either come with you or won’t.
Girl move you and children out the house
Explain to him that this is something you have to do for you children
See what his reaction is, I have a good idea of what the outcome gone be. Let him know he’s more than welcome to come when he’s ready.
Seriously. Get your own place.
And also you blame them for not speaking to you and complain of social anxiety as a reason that you don’t interact much. It sounds to me like you take and expect an awful lot out of this family and have a lot of excuses why your the victim. I wonder what the bf feels since I’m sure he’s caught in the middle. You should definitely get a job at the very least and provide. This is unfair to his family and I think they are treating you pretty nice considering.
I can give you advice on the Mother’s perspective. I have an adult son his wife also has 4 children. My son took them as his own.
Try inviting his mother to sit down with you both. Discuss the household chores and menu. Than plan your meals and shopping according to your menu. The other option, is request that she eat with you at least 3 times per week. Divide the cooking. Between you both. (I cant speak for her. But I felt overwhelmed when my son and his GF, and her children were in my home.)
You need your own home.
Sounds like someone somewhere started a rumor you cheated- and this could be all the animosity in the air.
Don’t take the shit anymore.
Peacefully say what you have to say and move.
And what’s your boyfriend have to say? You have 4 kids so im gonna get your not dating a very young guy- yet your bf had a life where his mom fixed meals n shit for him? Why? If he doesnt defend you and if any of them doesn’t have the decency to just straight up talk abt rumor then I’d leave boyfriend … It’s not healthy
It sounds like you took over her house, she doesn’t feel at home anymore so she stays in her room. She has to cook around your schedule and keep her snacks etc in her room. You’ve moved yourself and 4 kids all over the age of 8 into her home and overstayed your welcome but she feels like if she says something she’ll loose her son. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel living how she does. Move out. Let her have her home back and his family may in time accept you.
I’ve been with my husband 10 years and his family still don’t like me…move on and be happy without them…hopefully he sticks up for you.
Very simple move out and then if his family call tell them fuck off if he’s that many family members someone else can help his ma out clearly shes independent enuf
You and every other young people in your situation need to listen. When you are old enough to live with someone, have a family, and things get tight get a part time job. Do whatever you as a couple to dig yourselves out of the hole you got yourself in. That’s what our generation did. I’m sure you are a nice girl and hopefully your children are respectful and mind. However if my son came to me and said my girlfriend and four kids are moving in with you … the for would fly. I raised my kids, I am now single, I like to have my friends over girl girls evening, some evenings I like to sit in my chair and read or watch a movie. I have a good friend and he comes over for a glass of wine when the weather is nice and before you know it there are several people. I have earned this and b y my children moving bank in they have taken the I have worked for and deserve. She and the rest of the family are being mean because her son is taking advantage. Do all your children have the same father? Do they pay support? If not go to the county prosecutor and see what they can do. That is something you should be working on every day.
I personally would talk to mother in law with your husband and just say you wanna touch base and make sure everyone is still comfortable with the living arrangements and if they have any suggestions or ideas to make it better you all can discuss them. I would leave it to seem like you want to be more open and communicate better this year in general. If you want to address the brother and sister in law I would keep mom out of that since it would put her in a tough spot. I would text them or call and ask if they are willing to meet to have a conversation. I would just use the work “I “ when explains your feelings so it doesn’t feel like you’re attacking anyone and no one gets in defensive mode. Example- I feel like there’s tension between us and I would like to have a better relationship… what do you guys think? Then I would hash it out. You might not be super close but at least address the issues so it’s not so awkward and kids won’t notice it as they get older.
Move out. If he chooses to come with then great if he doesn’t then also great.
Of course the brother and wife don’t like you… they probably feel you are taking advantage of his mom. Do whatever you have to do to move out. Really you are two adults. No excuse to not have your own place!
I think it’s time to get your own place and live your life in ur own families happiness and if you don’t have to interact with his family then don’t do so, you have nothing to prove to them
Honestly best advice is just to eventually move out. Sometimes family relationships get better when you arent living under their roof and youll feel more comfortable and more in control in your own house.
Well, never move into anyone else’s home, EVER! Because they’ll either look at you as a bum/moocher or that you’re incapable of taking care of your responsibilities as a mother.
Move out, even if it is just you and your kids. There’s no need for you to feel out of place or unwanted.
Well you definitely come with a package. 4 children that aren’t even her sons. If you guys are constantly using the family space and the kitchen then she probably feels like her home is being taken over. And as far are the brother and SIL I wouldn’t even care or bother trying with them.
There is no way that I would live in another woman’s house. You need to move out ASAP.
You need to move out. Your not a bad person, but its difficult living in someone else’s house. She probably doesn’t mind having you all but was probably thinking it wasn’t long term. I’m sure like you shes struggling for alone time or a little bit of me time in her own home. She’s staying out the way that speaks volumes that she not entirely comfortable, but ultimately you all have taken over her home. I think if you all move into your own home you may find the family more responsive. Good luck
I would move out of his moms house as soon as you can and get your own place together i know its hard right now with covidd on and most people are not working best of luck with what you do no one can tell you really what you should do
Stop caring about what and when they will come around… believe me you’ll be better off… less stressed trying to please them… just do you n your kids n boyfriend…and yes move out… start doing things that don’t include family if they don’t want too be around who cares…i stop talking to certain family n I live a very happy life🤷🏼
I even told my boyfriend’s family I’m not here to be liked by you all or to like you all… but if we can enjoy each other’s company awesome!!! I (literally told them)
Well we all get along and my mother in law n sister in laws love me n likewise…
Don’t try and please anyone…
I hope you take my advice…
Life’s too damn short
Look, family is, your mate and immediate children… avoid them, if asked why tell the truth. You don’t have to be close to extended family. Live your life
It sounds like the mum might feel like you’ve stolen her role. Is your partner by any chance the youngest? If that’s the case I also wouldn’t be surprised if shes talked shit about you to your brother and sister in law and they’re just going with what she’s said to them. I honestly wouldn’t even worry about it. It seems like you’ve tried to be friendly and make everyone happy but if its hurting you this much then just stop and focus on your kids and partner. No need to stress yourself out about petty people
Its sounds like his mom feel unneeded.she felt important to him when yall were not together now someone is doing what she did.tey to get her to help you more with things involved her more even tho its hard she may give in.two when you can move.3 your bf needs to settle the problems between him and his brother and stand up and set things straight that you have never cheated. For the things that got messed up let it go your family.its not worth the drama.
I have to say I would start trying to find a place for yourself and your children if he lives you he will follow and she can have her house back. You have to understand that you came in to her house and took her stuff even tho you pay. And she prob talks to the brother ( son) and sister in law and makes comments. I have learned that when I dont like what’s going on I can leave go back to my own home and that way you can always get out of a situation
Sounds like you will have to move out get your own space I wouldn’t even worry about his relatives they seem pretty judgmental.
I would say you need to move. To be honest, it sounds like you moved in and took over the house (hard not to with 4 kids). And if his mom is staying in her room most of the time, I would say her actions support you taking over. And his brother and SIL probably hold a grudge against you for the same. Definitely time for you all to move out. Think it will relieve the pressure and maybe get you all to a better place. Good luck
Get your own place as soon as you can. Especially having 4 kids that aren’t her son’s! Wow!! Definitely can understand where she is coming from.
You need to find your own place now the mom needs her home back
Move out…you need your own space! Plus he can always visit his mother…
Or.
Invite mother in law to help you cook or if she can give you opinion on what you’ve cooked…interact.
Other family just be upfront and ask if there is a problem…that you feel like there is tension and would like to see if it’s fixable to get along. Speak up.
No one knows what you feel unless you say something.
Why will you confront the 5 year old about what she said, but not any of the adults? Start there. You’re an adult. These other people are adults. Have an adult conversation and ask why they’re so salty.
…his mom lays his clothes out for him? Gross 
Tbh, it’s kinda hard for someone with social anxiety to “not pay attention” to things like that. You literally think about everything and you’re afraid to be a problem or not liked. Probably sounds dumb to people that don’t have it but it’s a real thing and when someone acts like they don’t like you, it bothers you probably 100000 times more than someone without anxiety. Just reminding everyone of that… 
I don’t really have advice, just here to say that I understand:heart:
Well I’d move. No way I’d live like that. She don’t want you and your children living there sounds like it to me. That’s not love at all. Let go and get your own place and if your boyfriend want to go with you good if not good again. Get out of the house. Do you get child support for your children so you can live. No way would I stay another night there.
I think you should ask your bf to address it w his brother. Privately of course. But Honestly, you dont know what being said behind your back. The
Mil may act all nice but is telling the bil n sil bad things. Or maybe they dont like the idea that ur living there at the moms house with your kids. But they must not come around much if youvd been dating for 3yrs n havent had a real convo with them. anyways, id bring it up to ur bf and let him handle it And see what comes of it.
I could only read half way thru. It’s time you moved out. You have overstayed your welcome. Don’t let your kids think it’s ok to put up with it.
Girl why you living in his mama’s house ? I get it needed a place for a moment to figure out something better , I’ve had to do that but gotta move out on ya own! You have how many kids ? No way I could stay under the inlaws house for too long! Gotta have your space to find the love .
mom has lost her home.plain and simple. She has no privacy in her own home. 4 kids s a lot of yelling. Running and playing. Older people need quite. Get out of her house now. The brother knows ya are taking advantage of his mom. Ii bet the rent you pay is a lot cheaper than you could rent anywhere. Like i said get out of mom’s house now
What if you focus on your four children and you? Make sure that their environment is not toxic or hateful. Think of them first and your choices will reflect a better life for them.
U both need to get ur own place never mind them let him visit them u don’t have to ,but if u both love each other I would get the hell out and get my kids in another home if he doesn’t want to leave he doesn’t love you much ur kids are the most important people in your life get them out of there good luck
Concentrate on you , your man and those kids, be yourself be a mom and a partner, those that bother count , those that can’t be bothered don’t count x when you move out with those that count the ones that don’t won’t matter 
just be you
Maybe its time for you people to find your own place. That will solve a lot of issues… hubby can still go to visit mom from time to time.
You need to find your own place with your kids.