Hey mommies, I can have my baby any day now and can’t wait. However, there’s family tension between bf, myself, and his mom. Long story short bf and his mom got into a disagreement. His mom then went on to say how she “will start doing mom things for us when we start treating her like a mom.” My bf isn’t super close to her, but we do see her occasionally and have included her during my whole pregnancy. Her daughter had a child, and that is her sole focus ever since the baby was born, which I figured would happen, and that’s fine. She hasn’t put a lot of effort into bonding with us or getting excited for our child, which truly hurts my feelings. We are close to his aunt, and his mom is jealous of that. This is our first child, and we’re so excited!) His mom has a unique personality that is hard to get along with, but we try our best. She has said a lot of rude things with no remorse. She was supposed to be in the delivery room with us, but now Idk what’s going to happen. I’m lucky, bf, and his family understands how his mom is. His aunt told me I would regret having his mom in the delivery room. How would your moms deal with the situation? It makes me sad because I want to have a good relationship, but I don’t get any effort back.
Don’t have a toxic person in the delivery room. Give your husband and yourself the gift of a couple hours as just your new little family. She can visit later or not. Keep the best day of your life as pure as possible for a few hours 
Do not have her in the delivery room.
That’ll certain more stress for you.
It’s her role to make herself a mom in your lives.
Children aren’t supposed to chase us and anyone who thinks that is crazy!
Choose the ones that are there for you, piss on everyone else. People will use their “status” like his mother being grandma, to manipulate you into doing what they want, she had her children and did things her way, this is your child, do things your way.
I wouldn’t have her in there either. It may cause unnecessary extra stress. You don’t have time to be worrying about her. She can see the baby after it’s born. This is a once in a life time experience and you need to be focusing on what’s important.
I say have patience and remember she is your child’s grandma. Your bf wouldnt be here without her. Sorry but true. Respect elders. And also if u dont at least offer her to see her grandchild born then dont complain if shes not as close to your child as the other grandkid. I’d offer and let her choose. But make sure she knows no drama or etc.
from experience, you cannot please everybody so dont try too. Concentrate on your child and with the people who loves and treat you right. Giving birth is a special moment you dont want to ruin just because of someone like her. She will never change and trust me she will only get worse if you dont say NO to her as early as possible. Dont waste time with her or you will regret it.
Don’t invite into the delivery room.
The birth should be between the two parents. If this aunt is her sister, I can see how that causes hard feelings. I personally know this from my sister who never had children but constantly nibbled in our business raising teens. It’s ok to like the aunt but the mom needs to count. And truly moms do better with daughters as moms/grandmothers than a daughter in law. It’s just easier I think most times. Maybe not right but it is. Not assuming anything but maybe there’s more to why the mom feels this way.
It’s worked out well that the tension is there now and she has said she won’t do mum things. That now includes not being there when you both have this baby. You don’t need the extra stress. You both need to concentrate on the birth. My MIL wasn’t there for any of her grandkids births. She caused enough trouble after they were born. At least your bf and the rest of his family understands, so it’s not going to cause an issue there.
Will your mother be involved in the birth? If so, maybe let it go at that. You can’t change another person’s personality or rudeness. But you can totally control how you choose to react to it
She’s already shown you how and who she is. It’s not going to change. So, make your decision yourself
I didn’t even have my mom in the delivery room, both times. Just bf/hubby and I… Do what YOU feel is best for you!
Ur the one having the baby. U get to choose who u want to be in there with u. Don’t feel bad about it. U could say something to her like, “I’ve been doing some thinking and I’ve changed my mind about having u in the delivery room because we aren’t super close and I want to have people in there that I know well on that wonderfully stressful day. I hope u understand.” And leave it at that. Don’t get sucked into any fighting. If it gets ugly, tell her that ur sorry she feels that way and leave or hang up the phone. It seems like she is saying some things to be manipulative and to try and guilt u guys into giving into her ways. Good luck with everything. I wish u ALL well.
She is never going to be who you want her to be. There is a reason your BF isn’t close to her. It’s a HORRIBLE IDEA to have her in the delivery room. This time is for you and your BF to bond with your baby and not about his mom
I wouldn’t have her in the delivery room whether you are getting along or not. That’s private and your first born. If anything it should be your parents
My dear this sounds like you have a personality clash with.your mom n law you cant get along with everybody.no matter how u try.your not the only.one in the family that feels that way.about.her.so this.is not something.your.making.up.try and tell her.her.actions are.hurting.you.if she cant.be civil then leave her.alone.i known it’s hard cause shes related.but you’ve done your best.shell see your beautyful baby maybe shell come around good luck with your new baby
Maybe she would be more amiable if you were a part of the family, her son’s wife and not just some girl he knocked up.
My mother in law was there out of respect she sat at the end of the room till they put her on my chest then she came over said yup looks like a janssen and left
Its your day, you choose who will be in. You do not need the added stress for someone who obviously don’t put forth any effort to begin with.
Her loss . Focus on baby . You and your man x
I would not have anyone but your partner in the room. It is intensely personal and all you should be concerned about at that time is the 3 of you.
Sounds like the aunt has been a source of fiction, whos says these things about someones mother, i suggest, have her over and get to know her on your own level, she might surprise you.
SET boundaries WITH FAMILY MEMBERS DECISIONS CONCERNING YOUR CHILD IS UP TO YOU AND HIM BOTTOM LINE. REMEMBER A MOTHER TENDS TO BE CLOSER TO HER DAUGHTERS CHILDREN THEN HER DAUGHTER IN LAWS CHILDREN IT A NORMAL THING SO DON’T GET UP SET ALLYOU NEED IS THE FATHER IN THE DELIVERY THIS WILL BE A BLESSED DAY FOR YOU YOU DON’T NEED HER NEGATIVE ENERGY IN THE ROOM WHAT MY MOMS SAYS ABOUT THEM KINDA PEOPLE FEED THEM WITH A LONG HANDLE SPOON YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND LIVE LIFE RAISE YOUR BABY AND BE HAPPY IF SHE DOES NOT COME AROUND ITS OK MORE PEACE OF MIND FOR YOUR FAMILY
She sounds narcissistic. Just because she is blood doesn’t auto entitle her to be in you or the babies life. If she hurts you and the bf she is going to do the same emotional damage to the child. Tell her to get lost and stay lost.
I went through this same situation. DON’T waste your time trying. Stay respectful and cordial. However, if she disrespects you, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Sorry, respect is a two way street. And the delivery room… you should have people who you are 100% comfortable with in there. Personally, if it was me, she would not be in that delivery room.
Hi. Have only you, father of this child & medical team in the delivery room. The rest of family & friends have all the time after to come visit
Tell the nurse, she will cover for you, with a story of right now, no one else is going back,
Tell her to grow up mind her business ha e husband and you in
Labour ward
That’s HIS mom.if your mom is able ask her to be in delivery room with you.acourse his mom is going to be closer to her daughter pregnancy and her baby…remember she is exactly who she is and that’s HIS mom not yours…LOVE WHO LOVE YOU!
Ok, let everyone come to the Delivery room at the beginning…when it gets close to delivery…kick them out so it’s just You and the bf. Explain that this is your first and it is for the 2 of you to welcome this child. They will be allowed in after and this satisfy’s everyone! Get over the other child by her daughter, you can’t have that relationship with MIL, that’s HER daughter by birth. YOUR mom isn’t mentioned, would you like it if you had a brother and his gf got the same attention or more than you? NO? It’s called develop your own relationship with MIL and be happy if you do have one. You’re the outsider coming in, don’t try to control it, be a part of it and enjoy it. Sometimes you put too much into what other’s are doing and not enough into what you are doing. It’s called being an adult. Set the Rules in Delivery Room and anyone who doesn’t abide will be kicked out, your baby and delivery, make it clear. Good Luck!
The delivery room should be for people who you are 100% comfortable with, I personally would 100% not have my partner’s mum in there to see me at my most vulnerable. Be respectful but firm. Also don’t waste your time and effort putting everything into someone who gives nothing back, from personal experience those who want to be involved will always be there… Those who don’t really care will never be around. Your child will just know from a young age who is there for them and it will be reflected in little things they do. For example at family parties the child will naturally gravitate towards those that have poured all of their time and love into them, just focus on you, your partner and your baby. Stop trying to please her, just be you.
There are two or more sides to a story! Quit taking sides, you don’t know her on a personal level, you only familiar with her just by association. Be wise!
Don’t let anyone fuck up your beautiful moment of having your first baby keep her the fuck out she ain’t going to change when the baby comes if she feels like that now
Honestly, distance yourself from her. Not just because you don’t need that toxicity, but because if she’s really bipolar or something that might actually get her to give you more positive attention. That’s not 100% guaranteed, but I know my grandmother had a severe personality disorder and she always valued her literally and figuratively distant son the most. Even if she doesn’t start wanting a relationship with your child it’ll be fine. You definitely don’t need her.
Don’t have her in the delivery room.There is too much drama circling this woman. You need calming, positive vibes. Negative energy… Not good for you or your little angel. You said she say rude, inappropriate things with no remorse. Is this what you want to expose yourself and your innocent to?
If they cannot respect you or be happy for you id not include her. The delivery is all about you and your bf she can come see the baby after
I would just let her be. Don’t cross paths unless you have to. You can’t force a relationship and honestly once that baby comes you won’t have time.
Let her be in the delivery room … if she get out of hand kick her the hell out !!! Don’t ever hold back and it’s about you and baby and how you will feel that day . Period 
My mother in law hates me. Lmao. After I got enough of her talking bad about my family and myself (been doing this for 3 years and keeping my mouth shut) I went off on her a couple weeks ago. Needless to say she will NOT be in my delivery room lol. 
Don’t let her in the delivery room. That negativity isn’t what you need while you’re bringing your child into this world.
Me personally I wish my ex bf mom and sis was not in there. It should been him and I. I do have regrets bc my own mom missed out on my birth stood at back wall bc his mother and sis took over. I was in middle of pushing so it was hard for me to tell them get hell out. My dr even ask them to leave but no they didn’t.
I wouldnt let her in…stressed now damn sure dont need to be stressed then
I wouldn’t want her in the room. She is going to stress you out, stress isn’t good for baby or you. If his mother is jealous of the relationship use have with the aunt well then that’s on her. You can’t force a bond. If anything it just sounds like she’s a headache. I would only talk to her if I truly needed to but if you don’t, don’t bother because it’s just going to cause even more tension.
Dont let anyone in there that you arent completely comfortable with. You need to feel safe and supported.
Who cares if shes in the delivery room… better start now getting used to the fact that you need to grow a backbone and not care about other peoples feelings or opinions bother you…parenthood will be very hard on you if you do.
No… do not allow her in the delivery room! Should be you and the child’s father and only!
My bf’s mom does everything for his sister’s kids and didn’t even send my daughter a birthday card. You can’t change people
I 100% agree with your aunt that you will regret having her in the delivery room with you
Do not let her in that room with you.
As a first time mom the best thing we did was only had me and the father of my son in the delivery room and noone waiting we called when we were ready for people to visit. NOT only did it make a special moment between us two but we bonded through that moment like no other. I highly recommend this for your delivery but it is your choice.
When did people start having the entire extended family in the delivery room? I had all my babies with just me and my SO. Like, no one would even think to ask to come to visit until the next day. In my family that would be considered absolutely rude.
Just you and boyfriend . Its too much going on in l+D , you dont need distractions and any negitivity. Call her after the birth ,or when your ready . No hurry . This is about you 3.God bless .
Dont allow her in the delivery room. Just you and your bf is fine. If she doesnt like it so what, dont stress yourself out over anybody!
It’s up to you to allow who you want in and if you’re not comfortable having her there, she’ll have to understand if not, too bad, it’s about you, your bf and the baby, it’s not about her. Let her down gently but it really up to you. I’d personally wouldn’t want my inlaws in the room but to each their own.
My mom is all about my brother and his kids . While my kids and I could only wish … she’s not to nice with me or mine , and I’m also pregnant. No way do I want her in the room with me … Nope
I say, just share that moment of pure happiness with your boyfriend. Everyone else can wait outside the exam room until YOU are ready for company. But that’s just me 
She sounds exactly like my mother in law. The best thing I did was ignore her BS and move on from the drama she causes. If she wants to act like a child, treat her as one and ignore her antics. Don’t have her in the delivery room. You need calm and it seems she’ll probably cause drama.
Anyone who made me the slightest bit uncomfortable would never ever ever be invited in the delivery room
Set the standard now that she doesn’t get what she wants, she can be treated like grandma when she starts bloody well acting like it
-this hits really close to home so it’s frustrating
Delivering your baby is no time to try and make things better with family… it’s your once in your life with your baby and you
I wouldn’t have her in the delivery room. That’s supposed to be a peaceful time with welcoming your new baby. And who cares if she doesn’t like that you like your bfs aunt better.
If she can’t be happy for you or care to have a relationship with you, I wouldn’t worry about it. I was in the same situation with my MIL (favoring my husband’s sibling and her kids, rude comments and only coming around when she wanted something). I dealt with it for nearly 7 years and I just recently cut ties. I honestly couldn’t be happier because she was extremely toxic to me. Of course, I’m fine if my husband wants to be around her. I just don’t.
I only had my husband in the delivery room. For no other reason then that’s all I wanted lol. It’s totally up to you and you don’t owe anyone anything
Just shake her hand,and live your lives
First off do not have her in delivery room no way … if she’s not s mom figure for you then don’t. I kicked everyone out other than my husband and my mom. Anything can happen in that moment… also don’t focus on her and the relationship learn to accept what she gives. Stop wasting energy on it and just focus on your family that’s more important. Family members will come and go just like friends sadly… all that matters if you keep your family together and healthy!
Cut ties tell her to act right or goodbye. Dont have her in the room.
She sounds like she will show a lot of favoritism. And she also sounds toxic. Cut ties with her and don’t invite her in the room. Tell hospital staff you don’t want her in the room. Let the aunt (who sounds more like a mom/grandma type) be in the room.
I wouldn’t have her in the delivery room. There is no need for her to be there
I too do not get having others in the delivery room. That is such an intimate bonding time between the parents and infant I don’t understand the need to take away from that. Next thing the hospitals will start streaming it live and serving popcorn and beer.
If she doesn’t try you shouldn’t either. Respect isn’t given it’s earned no matter your role in someone’s life. If she cant respect and support you guys then let it go. Do what’s best for the family you’ve created.
No mom in the delivery room. Birth is a very PRIVATE experience.
Life is too short to try and make people like you. Tell her you changed your mind and uninvite her to the delivery- you don’t need that stress.
Sounds like she doesn’t respect you or her son. I would stand up to her as politely as possible and move on. You’re mom now and wife/girlfriend to her son; you take care of the family. She had her time. She respects your family or she doesn’t participate.
Sounds like my mother-in-law we didn’t even tell my mother-in-law that I was pregnant she found out from her mom and dad my husband’s grandparents she was she was not allowed at the baby shower and she found out we was having a boy because her parents told her my husband decided to call her after our son was 24 hours old and told her that he was here
Do you dont look for acceptance you will never get…u just focus on being the best mom to your child…
It’s simple you have who “you” want in the delivery room and that’s that. Birth is very personal and people will and have to respect your wishes.
If there is drama then don’t let her in the delivery room. When you go into labor you want your room as stress free as possible. You’re a out to push out a baby!! You don’t need to worry about anyone else’s feelings but your own. If she doesn’t want to put in effort then that is on her. Not you. She is the one that will miss out. Not you. You and your bf have enough going on without her adding to the troubles. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Delivery room should be a stress free environment
It’s going to be special, painful and full of love. If she’s going to bring negativity then leave her out of it.
My first it was My mom, my ex (Son’s father) and my self. Everyone else waited in the waiting room… My second My husband rented the biggest delivery room I the hospital. I had… My mom, him, My sister in law, Her mother, My cousin, My Brother and my Dad… my 3rd… It was just me and my mom as I didn’t know I was in labour and told my husband to go to work which was far away. She was born at 3:45 pm my husband got there at 4pm. When it comes down to it it’s up to you. Some people don’t get excited till the baby is acually born. My mom is like that as she has lost two babies her self.
If your already having problems with her definitely not have her in the delivery room. Have your bf in there with you. Its alot more peaceful amd less stress.
Do whatever you want. If she goes in and gets on your nerves make her leave. If you don’t wanna take the chance, tel her no from the start. Your giving birth, you have to 100% comfortable with who you share the experience withn. You owe her nothing.
Just you and the babies father that your special time and you don’t need any unnecessary drama or stress while giving birth is hard enough unless you want to then make sure they know that this is about you and your baby
Don’t let her in the delivery room. This is your time. You shouldn’t be stressed at that time. Let the hospital staff know, they’ll keep her out.
You can have whoever you are comfortable with and will make delivery a positive experience for you in your delivery room. If she isn’t trying to make your pregnancy a positive one and is already being difficult, I cant see how it would be beneficial to having her in the delivery room.
My mother and MIL were both in room for our daughter. They were super supportive of me and encouraging. I preferred having them wipe my face and holding my hair when i puked, instead of a nurse who I never met and didn’t know me yet They helped out in ways I can never thank them enough for.
I agree with everyone else. You don’t need to have her in the delivery room. It should just be you and the babies father. Alert the hospital staff so that they know she isn’t allowed in. You don’t need her ruining your moment with your boyfriend and little one.
I wouldn’t over think it. Just let it flow if she’s there good if she’s not that’s okay to. You are creating your own family. How awesome is that! Focus on that. Your gonna have wonderful memories in that birthing room with or without her. 
I wouldn’t have her in the room. It might nit seem like it, but it willstress you out. I didn’t think it would stress me out if i had both my mom and bf in the same room. My mom and bf had this thing going in where they refused to be in the same room or house. And boy. I thought it could be swept under the rug for me giving birth, i had to yell to tell the nurses to remove one. My mom left voluntarily
I told everyone that when I go into labor if I’m gonna be awhile you’re more than welcome to come say hi, but the only person that I need in that room was the same and only person that was there when we made this baby. They got the point and handled it fairly well except for my MIL, she was just a little extra about it and made a few snappy comments but you brush it off.
And if you don’t want To be the bad guy, talk to the nurses and make them walk her out when you want. They’re there for you too!
You cant force a good relationship.
Meh. This sounds so familiar but I’d have just you and husband in room.
I had just me, and my babys father in the delivery room, no one else. It’s an intense moment, and additional distractions were unwanted. I personally wouldnt have my mother in law in the room.
Erm, unless you made the baby you’re not coming in that room with me
No, no no no… I wouldn’t have her in the room AT all. It’s one thing to include her and try your best to get along despite her “unique” personality, but being in the room TO ME…is such a special moment that should be between you and your BF.
Invite your aunt to the delivery room . screw the whole “name” thing. So what who she is. You should have someone there for you whom actually cares to be there.
Sounds like my mom… Avoid ppl like her at all cost. You will regret it. Do what makes u happy.
My mother in law and my husband don’t have the relationship he would like to have and he is to blame for the fall of it but he has tried his hardest to build it back but she is so distant. She’s rather spend time with her husbands nephew and his family than us, she’d drive 6 hours to see her daughter and her kids but couldn’t drive an hour to see us and now we live 15 minutes away and she still hasn’t come by just to visit. We are pregnant with our second baby and have told her of every ultrasound appointment, and she has been at all of them but 2. She and my mother are allowed in the delivery room but both have said they appreciate it but they’ll wait in the waiting room with our 3 yr old. I would listen to his aunt and not have her in the room. You can keep trying to have a relationship with her or just say well we tried, it’s on her now
Do people really let their MIL in the delivery room? Is this a common thing? I would not be able to be comfortable and enjoy childbirth with my MIL staring at my whoo whoo.
Leave that mess alone. You do not want her in the delivery room!!! You’re new to this situation, I have a mother that is similar and have been no contact with her for almost 5 years. She doesn’t know my kids, and my kids are perfectly fine. They’ve asked once, I explained as much as they needed to know, and they’re still just fine. I’d say stop making an effort and see how it goes. And anything should be left up to the actual son for now.
I wouldn’t … But thats just me…no wayyyyyy! 
Let her go and do things with her daughter. Stay away from her as toxic people will always suck the good out of situations. Let people who are genuinely excited about your baby be in the forefront like his Aunt. You can’t change her so do whats best for your little family and keep her away. You, the baby, and your SO should be first and that’s it. Don’t worry that the g ma loves the daughters baby more or spends more time etc… You shouldn’t have to ask her to show yall love. Don’t chase her she will never be the mil you wished for.