My brother and mom do not help with anything

I am going to be a new mom this is my first child … and I currently have my mother(45) and brother(18)[she gets disability pay check and my brother works ] living with me and my fiance but now it’s to the point we have to hound them for payments of their portion of the bills rent etc. [They knew what the bills and stuff could come out to ] as well as I’m trying to get them to help me pick up around the house I’m about 5 months pregnant and they don’t do their portion … like at all we are fed up it’s it a good idea to post a 3 day notice to leave or pay ? [ it’s been like this for months where we have to pull teeth for them to do their part , and pay mind that whey are not accepted any where to rent due to bad credit and bad tendency ) I’ve tried to help but I can only take so much crap. When ever I asked they ignore me or say u get soon it will be paid etc . Any excuse possible… and my brother uses the excuse that the place is dirty thats why he doesn’t pay …

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My brother and mom do not help with anything

“I’m not expecting anything from you this month (financially & physically) and this is where you have the month to find your own place, why am I not asking for your help financially? So you can save up enough money for deposit, 1st & last month rent on your guys new place”
It’s being nice in an up front way. Unless you like being an asshole and just tell them to gtfo? Up to you lol

tell them it’s time to go. it’s not your responsibility to take care of them too. time for them to be grown ups & go.

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Mom and brother should move out and get a place together. It’s not your job to care for them or make sure they have somewhere to go. You’re having your own kid and have your own family now.

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Legally you have to give them 30 days notice but yeah if they are going to just be slobs and not help then it’s time for them to go. Wakefield you’re brother using a lame excuse like that

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Idk about a 3 day notice but definitely let them know it’s not working. Your going to be really busy and tired soon. Staying up with a new born isn’t easy. Sit them down and discuss a schedule ,especially Mom. Just tell them you want to have a talk with out yelling and they need to listen or leave. Your picking up after 2 babies with one on the way. You can’t do that after the baby comes.

Well if the house is so dirty that he can’t bring himself to pay rent, tell him that you’re doing what is best for his health but having him move out!!

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It’s gonna get worse for you once your baby arrives so best you deal with them before you give birth

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Kick them out. You do not need to own their issues AND do not need the stress during your pregnancy. If you need Tennants, find others, do a criminal record check and look them up on line etc.

Time for them to go. It’s your home and you’ve allowed them to stay there with previously agreed upon standards. They aren’t meeting those so it’s time for them to be out in their own.

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Its the 1st of the month bills are due.If they dont have their share they need to go.

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Where i live, legally you’d have to serve them an eviction. I’d look at what the laws are in your area and go from there.

No ultimatums. They need to go!

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Go to the courthouse and have them help you evict them

Give them both 48 hours to vacate
I get they are family
Your pregnant with another generation of your their family
So they should be helping you
If your brother thinks your house is dirty
Hand him broom and a mop n bucket
And tell him to start cleaning
Tell your mom to put on a load of washing and do the dishes
I hope your partner starts putting his foot down with them
You are soon to having your bubs
You don’t need to look after these 2 adult children

You are not responsible to sort out their issues

They made their beds
Now let them lie in them

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Tell them if they don’t get accepted, it sounds like a You problem. They can shape up or ship out in 30 days, period. No more chances, no negotiation

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Kick them out… they don’t deserve a place to stay with that attitude… despicable behaviour. Kick them out

Kick. Them. Out.
While they’re out/gone change the locks and pack up their stuff. Set there stuff in the garage or outside. When they show up tell them you’re done and they need to leave. They already don’t respect you and will only continue to give excuses and placate you, bc they know they can, as you’ve allowed it for some time now. They’ll get over it eventually, human leeches always do.

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It’s time for them to go they are both grown enough to live on their own or your mom and brother can get their own place together.

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Give a written 30 day notice and keep a copy for yourself. After the 30th day, you can go to court and file eviction on them. This costs $74.00 per person you are evicting in my area. You have to name them both in the eviction papers. On court date, be sure you go and be on time! You can get judgment if they don’t show up, but if you don’t show up, it gets thrown out. In my area, the judge has to give them 10 days to get out. If they are still there on the 11th day, go back to court and file for a writ of removal. Once this is done and they have been served, you can take your court papers to the sheriff’s office. A deputy will come out to keep the peace while you set their things outside. At that point, you can change the locks. Do not change the locks before you legally have them out or they can sue you!
With my job, I have to do this.
When in doubt, kick them out!
Good luck to you!

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Make them pay or make them leave

I understand that this is your mum and brother but in this circumstance i think you need to don what is best for yourself, your partner and future baby…
i also live with my mum and brother, however my mum is 72years old and has several physical disabilities and she still would break her back to help me around the house, my brother works full time and likes his alcohol but even he still does the yards and if mim and i need anything he just goes and gets it, no questions asked!! I feel like they are mooching off you or using you! Just do whats best for your new little family hunni, it will be incredibly hard but it will be for the best

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Wow yeah they need to go, she can qualify for housing most likely?? Especially with a baby coming

Depending on your state they may need a 30 day notice and then they can drag it out in court for several months. My mom went through something similar with my sister and niece. They ended up refusing to pay rent and drawing it out in court for 6 months while putting her in debt for $5000 running up the electric bill and not paying any rent. She almost lost her house. Do your research about rental laws in your state because even though you’re not a landlord, if they were paying rent, they have renter’s rights. Good luck.

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Serve them both eviction notices and cut them out your life. Too toxic.

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Give them a 30 day notice to leave and if they haven’t once the 30 days is up get the police involved

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I think you have to give 30 days notice

At this point you’re going to have to legally evict them. I would get proceedings going now! You don’t want them around when the baby gets here

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Total bs they need to go how disrespectful geeze

They need to go ASAP, they can get something with no credit it just won’t be as nice as they may think they deserve but that’s not your problem.

Tell them to make the changes or they have to leave

This frustration will only intensify, and the baby will be the one who truly suffers. Give them a date to leave by… BEFORE the baby comes.

Do you want your child to be in this household,NO, problem solved get them out now

Move and leave them there

Tell me hem to get their own dirty place
Don’t take shit

Give them that 30 day notice. They’re taking advantage of you knowing they have few, if no other options… it’s the audacity for me. If I knew I had no where else to go I wouldn’t be screwing over the one place I do have. You owe them nothing. Since they wanna take your kindness for granted they can find somewhere else to stay… don’t feel guilty and don’t let them guilt or gaslight you. Nothing but paying their share every month, without hassle, could fix this and they aren’t willing to do right. You said it’s been like this for months. You don’t have months to give them chance after chance. The baby will be here before you know it. Get them out before the baby is here if you value your peace.

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They have taken advantage and have overstayed their welcome. Time for them to move on in life and be adults.

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It’s a roof over there head. And food and shower. Tell them their free to leave then. Or find another place for you boyfriend and baby then move out. Tell landlord your moving then it’s up to them.

They could set it up with their banks on their pay day to automatically put their rent straight into your account, and I wouldn’t pick up after them and tell your bother it’s only dirty because yous don’t clean up your own mess , if your mother is so disabled, she could apply for help with housing from the housing department, also she can apply for help with things she can’t do

Technically they are tenants in your home and you have to legally evict them. I know that’s how my state is anyways. If they don’t pick up slack like they’ve said, then they can live somewhere else in my opinion.

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I’d be going to where ever it is need be and get an eviction notice n go through the process to get them out before that baby of yours is born otherwise u will struggle and they will make it stressful on u it’s sucks they take advantage n disregard ur rules in place they sound like self careless ppl

Not worth the stress Momma! Time for Momma & brother to move on. If it’s gone on for a bit, they may give you a payment & it’s the same thing next month that lasts while. You, your fiancé & blessing deserve peace as you guys transition & prepare for your new journey together. Your hormones may get to you & you hit a very depressed stage if not taken care of now. I would actually have an office present to be safe. Something legal written & notarized suggest by them as a safety net to not gray anything out. Good Luck & Congratulations! Always remember your peace means so much for your Baby to be happy. Baby’s feel everything Momma goes through in my opinion.

I hope you & your fiance made up a lease agreement for them before they moved in. If not technically they’re squatting in your home. It can be a pain to evict squatters. I was in an abusive relationship & moved out right before my son was born. It took my landlord almost 2 years to get him out. He didn’t pay rent, utilities or anything else. Squatters have more rights than someone with a rental agreement. They can’t be held to rules that were never agreed upon. Even with an oral agreement it’s your word against theirs. They’re going to say they never agreed to pay anything.

Girl, kick those deadbeats out.

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Most place give a 7 day notice then file for eviction after that. I would just do a 30 day eviction. Go to the court house and get one.

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Get rid of dead wait

Wait until they are both gone pack all their crap throw it on the front porch and change the locks. They’ve been warned long enough. They are taking advantage of you. You do not need that additional stress on you after You have the baby. Cuz if they arnt helping now with bill they never will and money is about to get real tight. Best of luck.

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Give them that “30 day notice to leave” they had their chances and screwed up. Multiple chances from the sound of it, now evict them. There’s shelters out there that they can stay nights at, but they need to learn that even you won’t take their laziness. They need to understand that the world does not revolve around them.

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definitely get rid of them, just bc they are blood does not mean they can walk all over you nor does it mean you have to take it.
It does sound like they have even there a while you may need to look into what tenant rights are in your state. You can tell them if they don’t pay in 7 days they will be receiving an eviction. Make sure it’s in writing both times.

Why are they still there? Boot them both out and if that’s not possible, move! They aren’t too worried about how you feel why are you worried about them? You are the one that’s five months pregnant and doing everything.

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I know they are family but it’s time for them to go. You need to focus on you, your relationship and your soon to be little one.

You will have to evict them through court.

Looks like the two of them can get a place together then and be slobs together :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Tell them to apply for government housing and start the legal eviction notice. Also tell your brother it wouldn’t be dirty if h cleaned. He pays for a place to live, not a maid.

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Legally evict with the proper notifications. States have different laws so be sure to check with a lawyer for your state

You have to legally evict them. They have lived there over thirty days. You will have to file in court.

Your other option at first is to tell them they need to move out. They have until (whatever date) you say to be out. I do not think three days is reasonable. If they don’t honor this date then go file

If you want to do it legal you will need to start at the court house and get a 30 day eviction notice. Then they will have 7 days after that if they don’t comply. Then I think it’s 3 days. This is if you know they won’t leave with asking them to.

Tell them they are putting you under too much stress and your doctor suggests they find some place else to live because that’s unfair in so many ways. It’s not worth it, seems like they dug their own hole so let them figure it out.

U will have to legally evict if they refuse

Most states require an eviction notice for isle living with you. Sounds like it’d be with it to me.

Legally you would have to give them 30 days notice before eviction.

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Go on ahead and give them that 30 day notice … if it’s been this way it’s not getting better … your brother has some nerve I tell u that … you’re not his maid to keep up w everyone’s mess :rage:

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You just cant write a note saying “pay or leave” :joy:. You actually have to go down to the court house to evict them. Good luck

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Tell them it’s time to part ways and you will no longer live with them. So start looking for a place!

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Simple…kick them out. Your not their parent. They are not your responsibility.

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Did I miss the part where it said bed breakfast?
“I didn’t pay because it was dirty”

Some of these situations never cease to amaze me…

Time to take care of you and your unborn child.

3 day notice if the refuse to leave the police can make them leave

In my state, if someone can prove they are receiving mail at the address, you must give them a 30 day notice.

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Give them a written 30 day notice. Stating due to late payments, not paying on time and not maintaining the place, they have 30 days to re-locate.
You are 5 months pregnant, you do not need that stress in your own home. They are abusing your home and your kindness to allow then to live there

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Tell your brother if it’s not good enough for him then go find a place that is. That’s such an ungrateful thing to say!
Yes make a post, or evict them.

Are they on your lease ? No You can do a 7-Day terminate… Go to the courthouse pick up the paperwork after that you’ll have to do the eviction… 300 for that. I didn’t have to go that far I think it’s 7 days… good luck

Yes court fee will be worth the peace of mind. Sounds like they think they’re entitled to live off of you.

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If you are just renting give your notice, move and leave them behind.

I’d evict them they sound like leeches and are ungrateful

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30 days in writing not 3

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Sorry mom or not I hate to say this but they are using you for a free ride! Housekeeping cooked meals and pay bills when they feel like it. NOPE! :v:t3::v:t3:

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Legally You have to give them 30days notice (but hey do what you have to do) I changed locks! But since it your mom/brother give them 30 days……FYI people only do what you allow them to do….my son does this to his sister because he won’t put her foot down me: I get paid upfront

Contact the county and find out what the laws are as to how much notice you give them, etc. Frankly they sound pretty lazy, so you could tell them whatever you want and they probably won’t bother to check—but you probably know how they’ll react.

Give them a firm date to be out. If they’re not out by then, pack up their stuff, put it outside and change the locks. You may even be able to get the police to escort them out, as it sounds like they’ll refuse to budge. Call in favors from your biggest, strongest friends. Give your mom & bro the number of the homeless shelter, maybe have your “enforcers” take them there, unload their stuff and escort them in. They won’t like the shelter, but there will be people to help them there, they’ll have a roof over their heads and likely be fed.

They sound like parasites. You may want to block their numbers & any access to your social media for a while so they don’t blow up your phone. If they come back around. Call the police,
Maybe get a restraining order if possible. Be resolute, and it sounds like your husband has your back. I’d avoid letting them know when you have your baby. Doctors, nurses, midwives will keep anyone out for you if you don’t want them with you for labor, delivery, or recovery. Up to you when you want to let them know about the baby.

To avoid arguing it helps to have a mantra. “We already discussed this and you know the answer.” Then leave the room. “I don’t care where you go, but you have to be out of here by the _th of month.” Or, “I can’t carry you any longer, I have my own little family now.” “You are old enough that you should be responsible for your own lives. I’m not your mother.” Repeat as often as needed and cut off any discussion.

Eventually they might thank you for making them grow up. Or not. Up to you what kind of relationship, if any, you want with them. If you don’t cut them out completely, I’d suggest meeting them anywhere BUT your place (in case they wouldn’t leave) until they are firmly established in their own home/s.

You can text and video chat once they get that they’re not going to change your mind and they can’t come back. If they start to whine, hang up and block them or turn off your devices. When they blame you for their problems, have another mantra: “I’m sorry your not happy. I hope you figure something out for yourselves.” If it continues, get in your car and leave, turn off your devices. You may want to get a burner phone just for them.

Please take care of yourself. The last trimester can be rough. I’m sure once they’re out you’ll be relieved and can enjoy your husband and baby. :revolving_hearts:

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Get rid of the brother first then if mom doesn’t change, give her the boot too.

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Do what you have to do legally to get them out. Its terrible that a parent would take advantage of their pregnant daughter so don’t feel guilty…

Evict through the courts.

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I’d say “well you live here, you make messes, you clean up your own mess, and you can help everywhere else be cleaned to. You pay me rent to stay here, the most you can do is clean up your own mess.”

I don’t take anyone excuses. We just kicked out my fiancee buddy that was like a little brother to him, he paid once and barely did anything in the house. Mind you we also have four kids and two of them started doing what he was doing. So I snapped and said you clean or get out. He refused to so my fiancee went in told him to pay rent and clean up his shit and help around the house or he can walk out that night. I’m the type you have to get cleaning and do your part to have a place to stay and live. If you don’t do your part it’ll just get worse for everyone else and they’ll be pissed at you. I don’t like extra stress so I took that stress out and unhelpfulness out of my house. He was also eating our food and wasn’t helping out on getting food for the house for him or everyone and when he did it was junk food. Even was told to buy what meal and he didn’t have to cook just clean the dishes, help pick up the floors it wasn’t that hard to do.

If they don’t clean and pay up, evict them. Give them written notices, verbal notice, and if you want to a court order eviction notice.

If you have tried multiple times and they keep disrespecting you and your family (cuz let’s be honest, it all comes down to respect) if they respected you, and were grateful they would clean, they would pay, they would do there best to help you as you are clearly helping them. (Even if they couldn’t pay, normal grateful humble people would go to you with all the embarrassment in the world to tell you that they couldn’t pay)
They don’t respect you, They’re ungrateful, and sound like they just want a slave and a free place.
Fu€k that. They’re adults.
Kick them the fu€k out.

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Gotta go. You don’t owe them a free living, you have your family to care for.

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People will do what you allow them to do!!! Don’t allow it!

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I’d call a family meeting and lay down the law. Say that things are going to change and that you don’t need nor want the extra stress. The bills are due on this date and they can pay you either weekly or bi-weekly or monthly but if you don’t have money in hand on the due date then they will be charged a late fee and expected to be out in 3 days. NO EXCEPTIONS ! And put it in writing !! If they pull the family card, just say that family wouldnt treat family like the way they are treating you. And put up a chore chart or a rules chart. If you dirty it you wash it, if you drop it you pick it up, if you sleep on it you make it. Things like that. Treat them like room mates because thats what they are. You would’nt put up with a roommate who treated you like that, would you ? They have made thier bed ( so to speak ) now they have to lie in it. No pun intended. If they refuse send them packing. You have a little one coming soon to look after. Good luck.

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If they have been living there and receive mail there you will have to file an eviction through the courts. It’s not your fault they have bad credit and habits and can’t find somewhere. Your helping them and they are taking it for granted. I’d have a serious sit down and explain that their options are pay and pick up or get evicted. Once you’ve told them, it’s their problem if they don’t want to grow up and help. A new baby isnt going to make it an easier and they can either shape up or ship out as my momma puts it

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Check low income places for them

Throw them out family members love to take Advantage

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Kick them out they can mooch off someone else

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Tell them they need to leave and if they don’t let them know you’re starting the eviction process

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Idk where you live, but if that’s the address on their license or they receive bills there you have to evict through the courts. If they aren’t paying then it falls under squatting and it makes it even harder to evict

I would leave and let them worry about the bills ! Start fresh somewhere else you will be happier

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Charge them a cleaning fee on top of all their other bills and hire a cleaner, if the dont pay that and their other bills be done and kick them out. You don’t owe them anything because they are family.

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Family meeting ,make them pay that day or tell them to find the local motel .

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They gotta go. You’re about to be a mom to a newborn you don’t need dead weight. I know they are family but they are taking advantage.

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Draft a contract. Automatic payment plan from her bank account to yours required. Agreement to a defined list of rights and responsibilities as a housemate. If they are unwilling to agree, they must sign a statement of acknowledgement that they were provided the terms and conditions and are declining to enter into the contract and that declining the contract if an agreement to vacate the premises within 30 days. This is your documentation to take with you to file for an eviction.

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I would give them a week notice to find a new place

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You need to evict them. They can get a place together. They are not your problem. It will be hard because they are family but you do not need this stress while you are pregnant. Also, why would you want to start this new adventure in life with the weight of this Burden

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