My husband’s brother currently lives with us. He has a job and also buys copious (and I do mean copious) amounts of clothes at Goodwill and sells them on eBay. My issue over the last couple of years has become that he has so much of this stuff he buys. It has completely taken over any extra space we have in this house. He had a bedroom, a bathroom, and also uses half of our garage. I am expecting our second baby boy in just over six weeks. I am flipping because I have no space for this baby. Nowhere to put his furniture, clothes, anything. I feel awful. My brother-in-law doesn’t clean; we have to beg him to do that. It doesn’t take the trash, many other things to where I’m so fed up. I feel like everyone treats him as though he can’t do anything on his own. He talks about having loads of money saved up, so why doesn’t he get his own place (he has had a girlfriend for nearly two years as well). No one seems to push him to get his own place, and I’m so tired of being the only one who seems to bring it up and vent because it’s our home, and half the time it doesn’t feel like it. My question is simply, what do you suggest? How do I push it more, how do I get my husband and other family members to talk to him about it?
Oh honey!! Your husband needs to address this situation and be on your side as well!! Does he not see what’s going on? Is he just ok with the situation or is he just too lazy to deal with it?
I would have a long heart to heart with the hubby. Voice your opinion an concerns in a calm adult manner… I would also remind them both you dont need the extra stress he is creating. Maybe the 2 of you can sit the brother down for a tough love talk. Sounds to me like he is taking advantage of your kindness. In my experience they will continue to take advantage until you put your foot down… Wishing you the best of luck!
Kick him out. Staying for a short time while he gets his life in order, sure. Staying for years? Time to go.
Tell your husband to talk to his brother. He has to put his foot down and be firm. It is for the best for your family to be able to continue to grow and I can just imagine that the current living situation negatively affects your marriage.
Ummm… years?! Time for the man to fricken fly on his own lol
I’d give my husband an ultimatum and I’d do it quick before this baby gets here or it’s only gonna get worse!! Tell him you better do something or I’m taking the baby and I’m moving outta this shithole and you can live in all this goodwill clutter but I’m not dealing with it!! He needs to clean it up or I’m leaving!!
Time to go. No need to talk to the hubs first. Just flat out tell the grown brother he has to go. And tell him to take all of his stuff too. You are not going to be able to manage when the baby comes if you don’t take charge and make it happen. If you have to, make calls yourself for places to rent and set up meetings for him to see the places. This guy knows its time to go but he is not going to do it unless you tell him
You tell him straight up he has 30 days to move out… he will figure something out…if he’s a a fully functional adult, he can act like one, and quit mooching.
Tell him to GTFO. It’s your house and he needs to GROW UP
You’re house, you’re rules. You’ve already talked to him about, now put your foot down honey. Don’t allow others to walk all over you, especially when you’ve out of your way to make him comfortable. Maybe too comfortable at that, from the kindness of your heart. Now he’s seems to just be taking advantage of his situation.
Clearly he’s smart enough to buy and sell clothes for great profit! That’s a reputable thing to do and brings in good income! He needs to move tf out STAT!
Kick him out, you have a baby on the way.
I’m sorry did you say YEARS?? He been there years??? Girllllll honey. Tell your husband that he has got to goooo.
Umm you need to push it like fast and if you have to go as far as saying if he doesn’t go then you will to show how serious you are then do it but seriously this is beyond ridiculous he’s freeloaded far too long get him to leave either his gf or a freaking motel but it starts with you or he will still be there when the baby is born who is more important him or your child at this point it is time to get him out now
What if this situation is with a father in law? Surely you couldn’t be as cold to kick him out…
I would take every single thing that was lying around and put it in his room on his bed. Along with a note evicting him.
Set the baby’s crib up in your bedroom and when your husband asks why it’s there, tell him his brother is taking up the baby’s space. I’m sure he will talk to his brother after that. Men are visual. A giant crib on his side of the bed will push the point
Give him 2 weeks and tell him after that he has to leave.
Its just that time for him to get his own place. U need the space for your child.
Years? Girl tell your husband you’ve had enough of taking care of this grown ass man. You’re not his mommy, wife or housekeeper.
We have a friend that rents a room off of us and when we got pregnant we told him he had to move out before the baby arrives. Gave him plenty of time to look for a place. We didn’t make it about the fact that he doesn’t clean or take up too much space…just explained that with a baby on the way, we needed more space. He wasnt offended and started actively looking for a place when we told him we were pregnant. He also pays rent though, he’s not a free loader, so him staying with us was mutually beneficial until we needed the extra space. Since it is a brother in law, I would just have the conversation with him about needing the extra space for the baby…and your husband has to be on board with that too!
It’s your house too. YOU can tell him to leave. Your husband needs to back you up. He has a household and a family that should not include his brother. He should be supporting you not brother. Time for them to both grow up.
Well u know it’s your place to .that is bullshit looks like u are going to half to take matters in your own hands.u are married to your husband not him . don’t be like me speak up.belive me I know what u are going through.well good luck and God bless
Ive housed my father( two separate times) my sister (2 separate time once was boyfriend included😣) my nephew and stepdaughter( both adults) . take it from me. Put your foot down. Give a base timeline that is fair ( to move out) and learn how to say no with conviction. Your mental well being and your spousal relationship will get infinately better…i promise. They get a lil butthurt at first but they get over it bc they arent independent enough and will still need your support after they leave.
PUSH THE ISSUE UNTIL HE IS GONE. You’re about to have a BABY and if he can’t jeep shit clean now, your kid is going to get lost, hurt, whatever with all the mess around. Say goodbye to the guy
Start loading all his shit out of the house.
Either you and your new baby come first, or not!
I have read all the comments all good we all can’t be wrong.listin to them.
but his crap outside tell hubby it’s brother or his family . sorry I just pictured your house as a hoarder house because of him . I just watched hoarders yesterday this young girl with a 3 year old son moved into her mom’s house her mom is a hoarder and the young woman was told if the home wasn’t clean then child services was going to take her kid. tell your husband and brother in law he needs out that’s not healthy for the child you have nor you nor the unborn baby. put your foot down it’s your home.
Sit the men on the couch. Then say exactly this
“ You’re a grown ass man, get ALL you’re shit and go, you have two weeks because I need to prepare for this baby.”
Then walk tf out the room.
I am very nervous for you at the fact that he’s NOT going to be able to get an apartment unless you guys or someone signs on his behalf. Making a living off Goodwill is not going to help with proof of source of income when the time comes to sign a lease.
Maybe it’s time to suggest that he moves in with his girlfriend or some other family member, but he definitely has to go. Like other’s have mentioned, time to talk with your hubby about this. I get a suspicion your brother in law is going to complain about a crying infant 
too. You don’t need drama either.
He needs a storage unit for his stuff. You need your house back!
There isn’t anything you can suggest to him! But you can tell him that you will be needing the space he is currently using that he is welcome to stay but he needs to get his stuff out of your garage and other areas! That he has his room and bathroom he could use! And that he can rent a storage so he can hold on to his stuff! Remember that extra money is good for you but perhaps he should think about getting his own place because you need your on place! I lived with my husband and his brother and I know the struggle and he moved out and now he knows what it’s like to have someone not clean after themselves! He has become so frugal! Like he use to leave all the lights on in the house when he lived here and now he even unplugs his microwave and everything! Now he knows how it feels to be on a budget! You can get him excited about buying a mobile home and have his own space!
You have a conversation with your husband and tell him it is time he moves out. Give a date and assert your authority. He is grown. It is not you and your husbands responsibility to provide shelter for him. As for the other family members, they have no voice in this since it is not their house. If he is buying clothing to resale, he has cash flow for a place to call his own. Stick to your guns.
Either he goes by you putting your foot down or go get you a hotel room and your husband will see that you aint going to put up with it. But either choice STICK to it. Always follow through. Dont cave.
Tell your husband he needs to let his brother know to start looking for a place of his own . My husband little brother did this to the middle brother . Caused a lot of issues , and their relationship isn’t the same and it’s been 2 years now . He took advantage of his brother and sis in law . You got a baby on the way and that baby comes before your brother in law ! He’s not your husband nor your responsibility.
Tell your hubby this; he goes or the children and you do.
Sit down with your husband and his brother, tell your brother in law that you are happy to have been able to help him out, but it’s time for him to look for another living situation.
Offer to help by paying for a u haul to move his “inventory”
Set a ‘move out by’ date.
Help by getting a bunch of moving boxes and packing tape.
You don’t need to be angry when talking to him, but you do need to be assertive and stand your ground.
Your family needs to reclaim your home.
THANKS Laine Hawkins for calling me a dumbass because I suggested for the pregnant women’s health and for her sons health and her unborn baby’s health she needs to kick the brother in law out the dude is a hoarder it’s not safe for her kids to be in that. but according to you i’m a dumbass sorry her kids come first . that might be how you live with your kids but that’s not acceptable.
He can start renting a storage shed and free up your space. Start there, then when the crap is out, talk to him about moving.
Ugh this post made me CRINGE when I read 2 years. No. Just no.
My home is my space and no one will invade that. He should have been out the door 1 year 6 months ago.
Tell him to move out. He’s had more than enough time to get on his own two feet, and if he’s got loads of money saved, he’s taking the piss. He’s staying because it’s easy and he can get away with it. End of the line bud.
If you’re already so stressed and upset about the situation, it’s only going to get worse once baby is here and all those hormones are going wild. Talk to your husband, explain to him the risks of post partum depression and that you absolutely NEED a safe, clean space for your baby. Even if your husband has to “lay down the law”, I would at the very least suggest telling the brother he has to clean up his crap out of all areas but his bedroom. I’m currently about to pop myself, and live in a very full house with a lot of my family and my husband and son. It’s definitely stressful at times but taking better boundaries for myself has already made a difference for me and I’m no longer “afraid” of what will happen once baby is here-because my lines and boundaries are firm.
If brother has money saved up make him get a storage unit for his hobby purchases, or simply tell him he hasn’t been a respectful house guest and it’s time for him to look into other options. Bottom line-you need to do what’s best for you and your family, best of luck 
My boyfriend had his ex wife’s ex husband living in the basement (I still wonder why) and on top of it he was prepared for the apocalypse. I mean bulks and bulks of food past expiration dates. Also never cleaned. I moved in… I talked to my boyfriend about it and we agreed that he had to leave so we gave him two months (he was here for four years to save up for an apartment). Two and a half months passed and we were both fed up. I finally confronted him and told him to get the fuck out and that weekend he got out.
So I guess my advice is to talk to your husband, give his brother a given amount of time to leave, and if he doesn’t be a little more firm. If that still doesn’t work you can get the cops to evict him but I’m not sure if you want to take it that far.
Tell your husband that he needs to make a choice. Either his brother goes or you go because there isn’t room for his child in your home because of his brother. Tell the bil he has 7 days, you can give him an eviction notice that he has 30 days to vacate. Then you can have him put out. It is definitely not any other family members business either. If they feel so strongly about it they can take him in and make your life easier.
Time to go. No need to talk to the hubs first. Just flat out tell the grown brother he has to go. And tell him to take all of his stuff too. You are not going to be able to manage when the baby comes if you don’t take charge and make it happen. If you have to, make calls yourself for places to rent and set up meetings for him to see the places. This guy knows its time to go but he is not going to do it unless you tell him
Give him a deadline. That should get him motivated.
Start throwing the brother in laws shit out, that’s your house not his and if you husband dont like it, he knows where the door is.
Tell hubby he needs to move out as you must have room for baby! And If he sauerkraut have the money,well,if he can buy want resell stuff he’s not broke,and it’s not your problem!
You need the room for the baby. He should be more intune with the news by now. Sit down, you and your husband and explain he needs to move on. You have a child on the way and baby needs their space too. He has wore out his welcome. Why doesnt he move to the GF’s?
Your house your rules. Send him to bed at 7:00 every night. Make him a chore chart. Make consequences for him if he doesn’t complete the chores. I tell my boys all the time I am trying to raise men. If u grown and think u gonna live here married if I tell u to go to bed at 7 what u gonna do? It ain’t your house!!! That will motivate him. He won’t like anyone telling him what to do! When to go to bed! Treat him like a kid dependent on you. BECAUSE HE IS!
He’s a hoarder. Trust me, I know this from experience. Ask him to move out. You’ll never be free from this unless you do, I promise.
You guys need to have a heart to heart with him. He needs to find his own place since he can’t bother to clean or raise his rent, but I’m leaning towards kicking him out
Ask him to move out of you don’t want him there. If you want him there than give him a time frame to clean up and take care of his stuff. Give him specific areas he can use and tell him you will toss or donate anything he leaves elsewhere.
Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you…time to go. I’d say I don’t care where you are staying just as long as it isn’t here.
Tell your husband you’re moving out until the brother moves out… take you child and go stay with family or friends…trust me, it wont take but a couple days!!!
Sound like he has issues. I’d call a family meeting & give some tough love & show him the door. You’re family is growing & you all don’t need that environment. I wish you luck & congratulations on your new arrival
I would just tell my husband it is his baby or brother choose. End of story. He us a grown man. Not your responsibility
Start boxing it up if he asks why just tell him its simple i do what ever i want in my house and im getting ready to make room for my new baby if this is a problem and you dont keep it where i put it you can move out i have to make room;)
Kick him out! Simple as that! Can’t pull his weight then he needs to find someone else to enable him or take care of himself
How does your husband feel? Have you and him talked about this in private together.
It’s gonna be difficult because it’s your husbands family. Ultimately you might not have power unless you could give an ultimatum. Just a scare tactic to see if your husband gets the point 
Make him get a storage space for that extra stuff. Let his space be whatever (as long as it’s not dangerous)
Tell him to clean up his things or if he has money saved get out… Time to put his big boy pants on!! Or move with his girlfriend!!
If you don’t want to kick him out, maybe suggest he move his stuff that he sells into a storage place. Let him know you need the extra space for baby. He can either move it or move out.
Make him rent storage for his crap. Tell your husband you are done with it. You have a baby to be worrying about not a man baby. I would put your foot down. Hopefully he has enough respect for both of you to not try and pull the “squatting rights.” If he pulls that crap you will have to go to court
He can find his own place…if hubby tries to make you feel guilty…tell him he can move in at his brothers place…
Write up a letter telling him he has 30 days to move out. I don’t know how it is in your state but in the state of California you can’t force somebody to move out so you have to take them to court and have them removed if they refuse even if you give them a 30 day notice!! Good luck
You need to point out that fact that you are pregnant. Ask your husband and everyone else where you are supposed to put this baby? Ask him if he wants you or your family to be uncomfortable and cramped. You are growing as a family and need the space and the room to grow. It is time for his brother to go.
Tell him to get a storage unit and move out . He has money
It’s your house , take it back , tell him to get a Uhaul and move it out or you will call goodwill and give it back , a newborn should not have to live in a mess , clean it up your house
Tell him he has 30 days to find a place of his own and that you don’t want any of his stuff left behind. If he does, it will be thrown away. You have az baby on the way and you need that space. Tell your husband that he and the rest of the family need to help him move out in those 30 days. If he’s not gone within those 30 days, then serve him with eviction papers. You don’t need him stressing you out any longer. Congrats on the upcoming baby.
Kick him out. You need your space for baby.
Bro! You got 30 days to get out!
I’d be throwing all the shit away to make room for my baby and telling him to gtfo of my house. If that didnt work I’d take my kids and leave
I would tell him he has until the baby gets here to find a place. He has been there for years obviously and that space is needed for your family. Not him. If your husband disagrees tell him he can go with him. The brother needs to stop being enabled. You should not have to live uncomfortable in your own house. That’s just ridiculous.
KICK HIS ASS OUT!!! make him concrete butt surf to the curb. You should have a nursery and all that all set up. Tell your husband… he needs to go! Like yesterday. Of he has a job, and all the money to be selling that on ebay, then he can get his own damn place. You have to tell your husband that its impending you life with him and very very soon the baby will need every square inch!
Don’t talk to family.tell him clean up or get out.and if this brings a fight with hubby tell him you can join him.happy house hunting.
Easy make him get a storage unit or build a shed 4 all the bs
Put him out. He’s a hoarder, it will get worse. Hubby need to put his big boy pants on and tell his brother he needs to find a place of his own. Your family is growing and you need the room.
Legally though, you may have a problem getting him out if he refuses to go. But, your husband needs to step up and you may need to ride his neck until he does.
Tell your husband it’s time for him to go to! 
Tell him to be a man and move out
Draw a hard line. Don’t back up, don’t back down.
Just calmly tell him that you really hate to see him go but you need the space for new baby, he has 6 weeks to find a new place.
Tell him to get a storage space and start looking for a place to stay since the baby is coming and you need it safe and a bedroom.
Kick him out. He’s an adult and not your responsibility.
Get out and get a apartment I will help you get one
They won’t. You have to put your foot down before baby comes. You’ll stress yourself out more as the time passes. Give him a time frame, example…
you have 2 months to get a job, or leave. Not sure if your husband would be mad but, it’s your baby or your baby brother in law.
Woman tell him him and his s*** has to go
Well if it’s your husband and your house than the other inlaws don’t need to be involved. Sit your husband down and tell him he needs to deal with his bro. If he doesn’t want to then I’d give him the ultimatum. Its me and your child or your grown ass brother.
Go rent a hotel and tell hubby he will pay for it till the brother is gone
He needs to move out… Your family is first.
It’s called no. Throw him out girl. Grow a pair before that baby comes.
Ask him to get storage unit and if he won’t he will need his own apartment. Set a time limit and stick to it.
Sit down and have a conversation about the fact that it is time forbhim to move out. Give him a date to do so. If he has not moved by the date, serve him with eviction paperwork. Sad but since he has been in your house for so long it is now his legal residence and will need to be evicted.
Tell him to get a storage unit for all his stuff to move it out of YOUR house or he can find somewhere else to stay
Your husband needs to grow a set and kick him out. Give him 2 weeks notice
He sounds like a bad person . Cheating the charity and taking away from the needy .
You need to just put your foot down. If your husband doesn’t want to back you up on it, then get your own place or stay with your mom or something when the baby gets here. I’m sure that will put your husband in gear.