My boyfriend and I broke up days ago. Since then he’s not been laying in bed with us. My 2 year old son sleeps in our bed beca he sleeps way better with both of us. So since we broke up my ex has been on the couch. Our son wakes up no less than 3 times a night now. As I’m typing, he’s finally back in bed and just got our son to sleep after struggling for almost and hour. Wouldn’t drink anything but we changed him and did other things to get him to sleep. HELP. What are your tricks for keeping kids asleep? He’s not been the best sleeper all his life. I’m exhausted too!! Just because I don’t have an income doesn’t mean I don’t need a break…I’ve been having anxiety attacks from him waking up so much at night.
Never heard of anyone having anxiety attacks from their baby waking up to much at night.
He needs time. His “normal” has been disrupted. Give him time to adjust to the change.
Could try a body pillow on the empty side of him. If he slept between the two of you, he could be feeling less secure. Having you both on each side was a sense of safety.
As hard as it is to be sleep deprived, it may be a great chance to transition your child to their own bed/room. Use body pillows in place of you and dad so he still feels protected/safe while sleeping.
Best of luck, and worse comes to worst, see a doctor for help with your anxiety for now. You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of yourself first
As hard as it is,if you guys are broken up, I wouldn’t have him come back to bed and sleep with him especially when it’s going to end again when he leaves and then it’s just going to start it over again. It might be a few hard days but sometimes you just have to do what you need to do and put him in his bed or wherever you want him until he finally gets used to it. I was a Co-Sleeper and my youngest was hard to break from it and it was hard on me too but it took I think two weeks and then he started sleeping in his bed
I co sleept with my son and now he’s 9 I have huge trouble with him sleeping he gets anxious being in a room alone. I ddnt co sleep with my daughter have had zero trouble with her sleep . We have a very strict bed time routine for both which helps with him they have dinner ext and then 30 min in there own rooms reading or coloring in quite time . Get my son to read back to me rather then me read to him. Then lights out . When he used to get up and try come back in to the bed just can’t give in take him straight bk to his room not much talking tuck him bk in and kiss good night come bk out… also found if I really make sure the bed is cosey that really helps to I tuck the blanket so it covers one ear if this makes sense so that he feels secure. It’s hard I struggle with his sleeping but have to stay consistent and it gets better ! Also sleep gummies tooo !
It’s only been two days! Give it at least a week or two. Kids are very adaptable. He will eventually sleep better.
Be patient. He’s probably feeling anxious himself, he just lost half his security blanket. It’s always the kids that suffer most in these situations.
I can not understand why parents need their children to sleep with them? Let your children have their own space then maybe relationships will work out!!!
Switch it up
Go to sleep in his bed… continuously… once he’s asleep slip away if he gets to you both go back to his bed
Also yes his life has been disturbed and just like us we don’t sleep well either when things are out of wack. Just be there for him and give him extra tlc
If your child is insecure I would take his bed into your room and let him see you and that he is safe. When in my opinion a child is put to bed he can’t see you he/she tend to get worried hence why I think they come through and feel safe in beside parents… my great granddaughter was the same she just wouldn’t sleep at night without mum and dad so my granddaughter tried this idea and it has worked her little girl sleeps in her own bed and mum and dad sleep all night in peace but the little madam still wakes up early in morning about six ish and wants to play haha…worth a try.
It’ll take time for him to adjust. Be patient and he’ll go back to his normal
Firstly it’s only be a couple of days, his world had changed, kids feel so much , even when we do our best to hide it. He is so young, and won’t even begin to understand what’s going on or the feelings he is having. And secondly the more you stress , the worse it will make it. He needs love , reassurance, and most importantly time. Talk to him always
Change affects kids. If he’s used to sleeping with you dont change that now. It’s too much change at once. Let him adjust to the bf being gone. He’s probably going through some separation anxiety. It’s hard to be so exhausted. I’m sorry.
A good bedtime routine fun calming upbeat bedtime routine. Make him love doing all your steps to get into bed.
I agree w one of these answers it’s a perfect time to move him to his own room
Your ex is on the couch??? He’s not an ex you just mad. Stop putting your child thru your drama bs. If he’s on the couch he’s not going anywhere. You know why??? You don’t have an income!!!
Children can sense emotional stress on a very real level they don’t communicate three words strongly until school really so when theirs a lot of tension in their safe space with the people they count on it’s very very stressful they can absolutely see this in you an your ex !!! You have to make snd effort to be normal around him no yelling ect very important second try a warm bath before bed with some lavender real lavender not scented scrap from store you can get the oil really works I have three bears myself second Vick works to if you can’t find our eucalyptus third look up ground technique for anxiety attacks for yourself it resets your brain by stopping flight or fight and telling your brain your safe when you recognize your body is safe smell taste touch ect or out salt on your tong seriously sets off your tastes buds and brain stops panicking third relax your back when your have anxiety makes a works of difference elevate feet up and out warm compress on your neck while laying down it works all and all been their my daughter is ok and my life went from hell to better then I ever though possible breath remember that it takes just one step at a time don’t stress tomorrow and do what you can today one step and pray I promise it will lift your heart and soul and give you a peace you truly need during this storm don’t walk it alone
Nice warm bath and sleepy time(lavender)lotion massage before bed …also a white noise machine would help
Get him a soft cuddly blanket. Some have stars and things that light up on the blanket at night.
Well …. To be honest this is a good time to start a transition to his own bed ( or play pen if you do not have a room for him )
As hard as it is, try to relax. Kids pick up on stress. Try a story or sing that puts him on a good mood.
You dont need an income. Kick dad out. Get a drug dealer bf who will lay in bed with you. Bam. Problem solved. (I joke, I joke)
And this is just one reason kids need to be in their own beds…then this poor little fellow wouldn’t have to notice any changes, said Nana
Give him time to adjust.
Ok So you and his dad have split
An your bf is sleeping on the lounge
This would be so confusing for your
He won’t settle as he doesn’t understand
Is it possible for you or your bf can stay some where else
For the time being
Until your son can get used to the situation
Im just here to say that a few of these comments do not pass the vibe check. There is a woman in need for advice and you two are just putting her down. I bet y’all are the same bitches who post anonymously and spill how your life sucks and you don’t have friends. Hmmm I wonder why, your acting like a hateful pack of dogs. Grow the FUCK up, and start lifting our women up instead of jumping on them and acting like your life is so much fucking superior then their’s. Sherry Lanier Wencie Campbell I’m talking to you condescending human beings. Stop being trash.
Time to sleep train him
Is he napping too long? Kids shouldn’t be waking up in the middle of the night that much. Perhaps adjust schedule.
If your child won’t sleep because their other parent isn’t in the bed too, you should have started switching them to their own bed a while ago…good luck doing it now. An ex had 2 kids that would not sleep unless he was in the room with them, I mean literally we tried putting his daughter in her own room by herself and she was up and at the side of our bed EVERY 30 MINUTES. It was exhausting. His solution was he’d just let them sleep in the living room and stay out there with them…3 bedroom house with 3 kids and 2 adults, and only myself and my daughter used beds in our bedrooms, it felt weird.
As much as I’m not a fan of cosleeping (it can create issues with children being independent and self soothing down the road), I’m actually not in favor of transitioning him right now, as others suggested. It’s too much change at once.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so much anxiety, sleep deprivation is awful. Maybe talk to a doc and try some melatonin for your son and a white noise (fan or app on phone) and see if that helps him, although the melatonin won’t keep him asleep.
You mentioned no income, it’s probably a good time to start working if you’re going to be a single parent and place your little guy in day care so he can get socialized and you can get a break and set yourself up for some career security and success in the future. Too many women out there staying home and living off child support, which isn’t what child support is for. Best of luck!
It takes time and consistency for a child to get used to changes.
If your child hasn’t ever been a good sleeper, it’s time to discuss it with your pediatrician. My child was prescribed a supplement that had them sleeping through the night in two days. My child would wake every 45 minutes through the night or only sleep a couple of hours. I was exhausted! We kept him on the supplement in the dose suggested by the doctor and only used it for a couple of months so his natural body sleep cycle could kick in. I don’t know where you are from and if this supplement is available in child safe ways and doses, so it’s best to speak to your doctor and see if you have some options. Maybe try some chamomile tea with dinner. Get a good quiet bedtime routine… bath, lotion, night clothes, read a quiet book with snuggling in, no TV, no games, and laying down. Your child may need room to sleep well but also used to both parents being in the bed. Might be time to look into transferring them little by little to their own bed. I slept with my children in bed when they were small. When they began needing room and rolling around in their sleep like an acrobat I knew it was time to transition them to a child safe bed. it IS exhausting! But I know you will find some advice that works for your family and things will get better.
And remember, transitioning to one parent in bed is key at this point, yes they will cry to get what they want, it’s natural, but change is part of life and they have their mother in bed still so this will be an easier transition for them. If you and your boyfriend are broken up and you can’t be together, the child is going to have to get used to one parent or their own bed anyway.
Try getting him a weighted blanket appropriate for his age… it’s amazing how they can improve sleep… recently got one for my daughter.
Try getting a fun cozy big boy toddler bed and give your so extra love and attention that involves a bedtime routine. Make this your focus. Everyone needs good sleep for positive mindset and health.
Big body pillow on the exes side of the bed a little closer than you would use just to not make your son roll off the bed so it’s a little more cozy on the empty side for him might help especially once he falls asleep
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My child has not been sleeping well lately: Advice?
This is why children need to sleep in their cribs as babies. None of my children had this problem because they all learned to sleep in their own beds since they slept in their crib as babies, especially as a newborn. They slept comfortably, I slept comfortably, it was better for everyone.
Well you should of had him in his own bed now shouldn’t you. That’s your problem and get to work why don’t ya instead of being a bum living of your supposed x