My childrens dad's girlfriend tells my kids they can't stay the night at their dads: Advice?

Sounds like if dad really cared in the first place he would have had her out the door the first time she expected him to put her above his kids.

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Dad needs to grow a pair and say HIS KIDS can stay the night

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Have him do things just with them outside the home go to the park fun kid places instead of his home where there’s negative energy. Suggest instead of bringing them right back why not first take them for ice cream to make up for missed plan go see a movie go to an indoor kids play place.

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Was she always like this or just since the baby, if its since could she has pnd or something

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Shes literally just a pussy hes sticking his dick in. Shes nothing but a girlfriend, shes nothing In comparison to his relationship with those kids. If she is more important than his kids, then he can stay away from them until he decides they matter. :tipping_hand_woman:t3::tipping_hand_woman:t3:

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Was she like that before she fell pregnant? That’s so sad to hear. Your poor kids xx

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That’s pretty awesome your coparent doesn’t let them stay in his toxic mess. Sucks for the kids but he at least attempts and keeps their well being a priority.

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I wouldn’t want my kids to spend the night just knowing how she is, BUT I would have a talk with him about giving them their proper time with him

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To me it sounds like he is being a good dad and protecting his kids from a bad situation and someone who isn’t treating them right. With that said, HE needs to figure out a solution so that he can spend time with his kids without the evil gf around.
As far as the gift, that sucks, she’s not a nice person. Idk what you can do about that. The dad should be taking care of this whole situation himself. And, maybe he is or at least trying to behind closed doors .

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It’s his issue. He needs to step up.

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Your ex sounds like a douche. Poor kids.

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You need to get a custody arrangement. Thats beyond sad that “dad” is letting another woman walk all over him.and not out his kids first. As for the gift she should have taken it and just shut up. Seems like your kid was just trying to be nice

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This will stay with your children forever, please do something now and stop letting their dad give them broken plan’s.

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She’s a bitch to not except a gift from a child…dad should of been offended by that also

Stop making excuses for his sad and pathetic behavior. He needs to grow some balls and not allow his gf to interfere with his relationship with his children. She sounds like a bitch too. I’d hold off on sending my kids with him until he can clean up his mess of a life.

Nothing you can do except try and talk to him about how it is hurting his children.

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Dont push ur children on him or her because she may hurt ur babies because she dont want him or her involved PERIOD its not fare but I’d take this to family court asap its something i no all too well

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Tell the dad it’s his girlfriend or his kids time to pick

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Law of Attraction - Ask, Believe, Receive
Love? It’s kind of complicated, but I’ll tell you this … the second you’re willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that’s love right there.

Sounds like u need to open your mouth and speak. Don’t put your kids in an environment they are not wanted. Evidently he’s not a protector. Explain to the kids why they can’t go cause u should not do this anymore

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Maybe you can have a conversation with your ex and his significant other. She seems jealous and maybe if you all sit down it will help her grow up.

As a new mom she should understand and treat your kids how she would want someone else to treat hers.

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She sounds like a horrible jealous person. Spare your kids her presence

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Your ex needs to be accountable for this. I would talk with him at length about the hurt this is causing your children. Whether the solution is figuring out time he can spend with the kids away from his home, or sorting out his girlfriend so he can enjoy time with his older children something needs to change before your kids get so hurt that it’ll be too late to salvage their relationship with their father. Personally, I don’t understand the appeal. They may have just had a baby, but it seemed in your post that this was an issue before the new baby’s arrival. I don’t know why someone would choose a spouse that pushes parents and children apart.

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She sounds like a child herself and the dad needs to stand up for his damn kids

doesn’t say how old the kids are, but I am sure the gf should NOT be with them by herself. I would watch her around her own baby also.

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Damn that gf is mad shallow and jelous of you and your kids how sad

Sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do!! Hopefully it happens fast for the sake of the kiddos!

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Let me slap a bitch Forreal

Why is he allowing that woman to run and ruin his life?

Scratch that. She’s a girl, not a woman.

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Not enough info. Gf could be having medical issues, PPD, who the hell knows. Give it time and see what happens. When he picks up next have a chat.

How can anyone be with someone who doesn’t like their kids? Smh.

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The girlfriend is a cunt not sorry, how sad. Poor babies. :pensive::pensive:

I would be having a talking to BOTH the father and the girlfriend because whether she likes it or not he came with kids. But I’d tell them either step up or get lost because in the long run the only ones hurting are your children.

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I wouldn’t let the kids go, talk to the dad, if he truly values his relationship with his kids then he needs to set boundaries with his girlfriend or the kids wont get to go.
That or have him do fun days just him and the kids no girlfriend or new baby. He can’t be okay with this and if he is he isn’t a good dad.

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You know what you know the drill so just keep your plans and he will have to chose an he’s making those choices. He has chose her over his kids. Do you really want the kids in that environment

You definitely need to have a talk with your ex. Sounds like he needs to have a talk with his gf but you cant control that. Perhaps you could suggest he take the kids on outings but not plan to have them spend the night if he cant have them spend the night.

FUCK THAT BITCH.

That’s the most toxic kind of woman there is, I had a stepmom just like her and it’s HORRIBLE to deal with. Grown ass woman making a kid feel like they don’t matter, that’s some psycho crazy bitch shit. And fuck the dad for not putting his kids first.
I’ve been those kids and they do not need that shit. Good riddance to anyone in their life that does not make them feel cherished and like they’re a priority.

I’d take him to court and ask for full custody since the dad doesn’t really care about his kids. He obviously only cares about the current family. A real dad wouldn’t put up with her bullshit. Kids always come before a gf/bf.

Oh Id be fighting her :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

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It’s hard to be in your position. I understand you don’t want to keep your kids from their father, but you also have to take into account that their mental health is being affected by his being inconsistent and allowing his partner to be unkind. If you’re able, I would look into some counseling to help you make the best choices for you and your children :heart:

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Yah screw her. I wouldn’t allow my kids near her crazy ass

He needs to grow up and put his girlfriend straight he still has older kids to take care of you need to have a talk with him seriously

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Suggest dad comes to yours to spend time with his children. That will give her something to think about! :joy: Seriously, she sounds nasty. I wouldn’t want the children around her. He needs to deal with her attitude.

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It doesn’t sound like she’s accepting of his other children. She sounds very selfish and one way. Definitely would discuss this with the both of them. Kids are a package deal!

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She’s only doing what the dad allows. My heart hurts poor baby. She could of accepted her gift !

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You should like a really understanding and considerate parent. Like others have said, it sounds like their father is trying to keep them from a bad situation. You clearly already have the right frame of mind. So I think that maybe you should talk to their father and Express concern. Let him know it sounds like he’s having a rough time, you don’t wanna pry but this is negatively affecting the children as they enjoy their time with him. Continue to be understanding and not judgemental. Ask if there is something he can do to spend time with the kids without the issue of the girlfriend. Tread lightly, because like I said you seem very respectful and that’s not common in this situation but great for coparenting. If this isn’t done correctly, he might feel like he has issues on both sides.

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I would not let my kids be around her at all if she acted that way. I find it sad that he is listening to her rather than his kids. Smh

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She has no say so their father is the one denying visits, whatever his reasons. End visits until it is set in stone when he has to take them, and write down everything your kids tell you for court about this horrid woman.

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As horrible as she sounds. In all honesty he is allowing it to happen. He is choosing her over his children! Sadly I see this happen often these days…it is a sad situation!
:heart:BIG HUGS!:heart:

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I wouldn’t have the kids around that kind of environment behaviour

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From what you say I would not want my kids anywhere near her or staying the night, try talking to them both and see her reaction to what you say, at the end of the day his kid’s should be his first priority good luck

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You need to have a serious conversation with you children’s father. What does the custody agreement say? She is probably jealous and thinks that the presents is you trying to insert yourself in her life. The sad thing is that the children are the ones suffering and probably feeling unwanted

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Honestly, they’re better off to not be in her presence. However, they are his kids and it’s up to him to put his foot down about spending time with them.

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You’ve got your hands full with that witch.
Prayers

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Yea sounds like she doesn’t like your kids at all, and wants them out of his life as much as possible so she can replace them with their new baby. I would be over there like wtf! I would definitly sit down with the father away from the gf so that you two can discuss the situation i don’t think kids should be brought into things, but maybe have them express how they feel to their dad as well.

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My issue would be with dad. Wth. Now if Mom didn’t want them to stay there because he had a girlfriend people would be saying she is bitter.

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She sounds like a B.

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That’s TERRIBLE!! I feel so sorry for your children. How kind of you to include the new baby. How immature and petty of them not accepting. Shame on your ex for allowing and chosing his bitter vindictive girlfriend of his children. Tell him to grow a pair or visitation will be supervised.

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I am the child of a hateful step mother. Unfortunately my mother died, so I had no one to protect me other than my older sister, because my dad catered to her. Please protect your kids from her hateful behavior. I still suffer from my upbringing with feelings of abandonment and unlove. Especially when there are other children in the mix. You need to have a serious talk with him about priorities.

You also need to ask if his girlfriend has post partum depression or if she is always a hateful woman.

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Wow what a cunt. I’d have a serious come to Jesus meeting with Dad.

Just 1 question.
How tf you keeping your cool?

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Dealt with something quite similar. I simply told kids father he was welcome to see the kids when and where he’d like, but no overnight visits until he got his home situation under control. It’s been almost 10 years and he still doesn’t take them overnight. Rarely sees them, actually. Arguing is normal, but when it causes the kids to be afraid or upset they may not have a place to sleep that night (as was the case with my children), a line should be drawn. It’s sad when other children are involved. I only have the 2 children with my ex, but he has 2 more with his new gf. My kids would like to see their siblings more.

Give him an ultimatum. It’s her or the kids. It sounds harsh but I damn sure wouldn’t allow my kids to be somewhere they aren’t welcome, safe or cared for. Or tell him from now on he can come to your house or you can work out some kind of arrangement where you can help pay for a hotel room or something for him and the kids.

Sound familiar? Rachel Wilson…

To be honest. I wouldn’t push to let the kids go. There are too many kids dying at the hands of hateful adults. This situation just doesn’t sit right with my soul.
Sometimes as a mother you have to keep your kids away from the other parent if that means keeping them safe.

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I wouldnt let me kids over there around that rude bitch. And clearly he needs to pull his head out of his ass. I would never tolerate that. Kids first over anyone. New baby to not those kids are still his and deserve to be treated with respect and kindly. Me as a mother would be going up to her and saying something. Stand up for your children girl

Your problem is with their father not the gf as far as spending the night. He needs to put her out if she doesn’t like it. Now as far as her being mean to your kids thats all you. I would be all over her like white on rice and totally bypass dad.

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I think dad is bringing the kids back as maybe he’s picking up on his gf not treating them right & doesn’t want them to be around her since she seems vindictive. So the sensible thing to do would be ditch the girlfriend & put his kids first… But then he has this new baby to think of too, he wouldn’t want to walk out on him. Only advice is to sit dad down find out exactly what’s going on, what her problem is & for the meantime dad can take his kids & spend time out of the house away from the gf while he sorts himself out on what he’s going to do as he can’t have a girlfriend who isn’t going to respect his kids.

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She is a BITCH. Tell your ex the kids won’t be visiting. By pass him and talk to her about the treatment of your kids.

She sounds jealous and immature, and it’s sad that “Dad” is allowing this. If it was me I would have a talk with GF and the Dad together and see what the real issue is. I feel for your children. It’s always sad when kids are in the middle. After a talk with them, if things don’t change I would consider supervised visitation. Kids dont forget, so he’s just hurting their relationship.

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Sounds like she’s taking it out on the kids that he has kids with someone else :sweat_smile:

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I would definitely sit down and have a talk with him. Explain that it’s not fair to the kids for him to “give” them back like that and it’s going to end up making them feel unwanted and unloved. Explain that if his new girlfriend doesn’t want his old life to be a part of their’s, that’s fine, but don’t expect to see his kids because that’s not fair to them at the end of the day. Maybe she had a legitimate reason? Maybe she thought the kids would be loud and wake the baby…idk. maybe also ask him exactly why she doesn’t want them to stay the night.

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Keep your kids away from her. She will hurt them eventually.

I’d beat her ass.

She needs to “Grow up “ she is playing child’s game. Can’t imagine how the kids feel. And your ex needs to grow a set!!! You also should set him straight!!!

She’s sounds like a monster!

I’m the first one to post on here that there are two sides to every story… especially with custody stuff. But I can’t think any reason why this would be acceptable.

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The girlfriend doesn’t have a say in it his kids stay or not… they are HIS KIDS not hers… especially if it’s in your parental agreement. Definitely have a talk with dad and his girlfriend. Because if she can’t even accept her boyfriends kids she should not be in that relationship. And if she’s treating his kids badly, as the father he should see that and kick her ass to the curb.

If he wanted to have his kids NOTHING would stand in his way of getting his overnight visitations. his girlfriend may contribute to the issue but he is your problem. also it’s possible the kids only hear what dad says and dad may blame the gf but really just not want the kids. either way he is pushing them away

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I’d lose my whole mind on the gf. Sorry.
She can either step up or she needs to back up.
If she can’t be productive, she shouldn’t be sleeping with a guy who has kids.
Time for court. They’re not married, she has no legal reason to be around your kids. 🤷
Be respectful or get handled.
I’m so glad my sons step mom and I are friends. She can even ask me to babysit. Lol

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Sounds like his girlfriend needs a slap !

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Sounds like this GF has a lot of growing up to do. The dad needs to grow a set and put his kids before his GF and stop allowing her to control his life. Those kids are part of him and if she can’t accept the kids then bye.

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My kids wouldn’t be going back.

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Your ex should put his kids first and tell that gf that he had them before he had her, and he’ll have them after she’s gone! He sounds pussy whipped!!

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Girl I won’t be sending my kids, not until he fix whatever is that he have going on with her, is not fair for the kids to receive that kind of treatment!! Ask him if he can just take them to the park and eat something and then bring them back to you, but just them three

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He needs to check his girlfriend

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How old are your childten?

I’m sorry, but your ex needs to grow some balls. No one should tell him he cannot spend time with his children. And the first thing he needs to do is to leave her ass. Or you can just be petty and let him spend the time with his kids at your place :joy:

For now just have visitations at a public place without her. He could start seeing how immature shes acting

She knew he had those kids first. If you can’t be a step parent then don’t be one. Your x is just as much the blame if he lets her get by with it. They need time with their dad he needs to step up. You also should talk to him. He needs to be the father. Sounds like all of you to step. Kids hurt enough during a break up

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Uh uh! She is trying to phase his “old” family out so that the new one with her is all that matters. I cannot stand women like this! I am so so so sorry your children are going through this. I hope he gets wise and either leaves her behind or they get some intense therapy. This is not right.

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I understand that when you love someone its hard, but as a parent your kids should always come first. His girlfriend needs to grow up and if she cant accept his kids then he needs to set his love n pride or whatever aside n tell her bye because if she has that kinda grip on him where his kids are not put first then she is bad news n no good for him

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Then if she dont like it hes gonna have to come by you to spend time with the kids :woman_shrugging:see how she likes that :slightly_smiling_face:

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The problem isn’t the girlfriend. The problem is their FATHER.

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There’s not much you can do. Aside from not letting them go. If HE isn’t going to do the right thing and either leave this girl that doesn’t like his kids or atleast talk to her and tell her she has to change, then u can’t do anything about it. Other than not expose your kids to her

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Dad needs to be the one to fix this and you need to make sure he knows how much this is hurting his kids and that he needs to get her to realize they are his kids and that they deserve the same as the new baby from him. My ex is with a woman that made him choose between her and his kids and he chose her and it had cost him his kids and now he has regret but it’s too late and if your ex doesn’t make it clear that he isn’t giving up his kids then he will regret it for the rest of his life.

I would not send my child somewhere that was treating them so poorly! Dad needs to get his priorities straight and put his foot down with the gf

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Sounds all too familiar.

The ex should be a father and tell the new girlfriend to back up.
He needs to fix the issues, until then I wouldn’t be sending my kids to be around an unhealthy relationship and daddy’s new mean girlfriend.

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I would just tell him that if he wants to see the kids then he has to do so without her around since she will not be nice to the kids.

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I would just talk with Dad about what’s going on. Give Dad the gift. It not good for the kids to see an unhealthy relationship.
Tell Dad that you’re not keeping kids from him but think it’s best if he only spends time with them for now before gf get under your skin and you react