My child’s father has no contact with the kids. He will text me once in a while and ask about them but that’s it. They’re 15 and 16 now and he’s only ever paid me $400 a month in child support since they were born… I’m planning on now giving it to the boys and opening their own bank acccounts do they can learn the value of money… well I informed him of this so he could stop sending me checks and just deposit their money in their account and he freaked out on me and said I shouldn’t be letting them blow it… I was so confused bc I don’t see the issue in letting them learn the value of money… anyone else confused by this? Please help me understand…
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If he has not had contact with them, why would you ever tell him what you are doing with the child support??? It is none of his business, but it looks like you still miss him especially telling him what you are doing with child support!!!
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As a mom, I agree with dad. Don’t give it to them to blow it, but, dad doesn’t get to call the shots on this, nor do I. I would suggest you bank it for college. When you’re given $$$ or things, there’s no value to it because it wasn’t earned.
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I kinda agree with him. I mean it’s your money you do what you want with it. But IMO teaching them to save is more important than letting them spend it. If you put $200 a month in each of their savings then charge them rent, utilities food fees when they get jobs you’ll be teaching them far more than letting them spend money. Then when they’re ready to move out they will have a good amount of money for down payment on a house or car.
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I wouldn’t have told him. I would continue to get the checks in your name. Give them an allowance out of it and save the rest for their future. Whether they choose college or not. At least the kids are getting what they need regardless. My husband’s ex never spends the money on caring for their son, only herself because she chooses not to work. Child support is for the child or for the parent to care for the child. You’re doing nothing wrong and it is not dad’s choice!
My girls split their fathers child support shortly after we were divorced… The ex only wanted to pay $150 so couldn’t see how thag was going to help me but felt the girls would understand the value of money a little better… Mind you that was in the 80’s and lawyer felt $300 was fair judge was totally shocked that I would agree to the lesser amount and advised if I wanted to ask for more at a later date to advise him.
Why even tell him your business? He really has no say in what you donor don’t do. Take his cheques, deposit them into your account then e transfer the money into your kids accounts.
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I would honestly say “fine, I wont” and give it to them anyways. He has no say in what you do with the child support as long as your babies have what they need. My 14 y/o got himself a job and is slowly learning about the value of a buck. It’s also his money and he can do what he likes with it. All I can do is guide him and remind him that if he wants big things, like a car in 2 years, he’s gonna have to save.
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I’m confused that you told him. He doesn’t even seem to care about them. You should just have taken the money and then give it to your children
My mom always gave us my dads child support payments. She would cash the checks and ask us what we wanted to do with it. When they started doing debit cards she gave it to us.
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My attorney told my ex if I open account for our kids he can’t say damn thing. It’s their money not the ex’s.
It’s their money to begin with for what they need. He can get the fuck over it and if it’s going through child support all you need to do is change it
Let him continue sending it to you and you give it to them. You also don’t want him to have the account information to your children.
Control.
Stop talking to him.
For the sake of argument n drama…Tell him…ok…it was just a thought…However …u on the other hand…Cash the checks…n than deposit in your son’s accts…They have student accts that u will be in sync to…so u will be very aware where n how they are spending it.Problem solved.However they should not tell the father .Otherwise he may stop paying it…Or withhold the full amt…Be wise about this. Also when monitoring their accts…let them know the minute they mismanage it…U will cancel the acct n save it for them.N just give them a prepaid debit card with only so much loaded on it.
He just needs to pay up an shut up…
If I were getting child support I suppose it would go to support the child, not just for them to spend?
Either way, if he doesn’t care enough to see them idk why he’d care what you do with the money
Why did u tell him not his business seems to start drama
Why even tell him? Just put in your account and transfer to theres. Because they are minors, your name would be in there account. That’s what I do anyway.
Now that he knows that I bet he won’t put the funds in their accounts. Especially hearing his reaction.
Also, I would wait until they’re 18. 15 & 16 can be impulsive spenders. So if the reasoning is to help them learn how to manage money then I would implement a system having them pay mock rent, utilities and an unexpected expense or windfall each month (draw from a hat). You take the funds and place them in accounts in their name and give them the savings at 18. Still a win for the kids and they learn how to budget, manage, save for life’s ups and downs. In the end they still get what was intended for them.
You seem like you’ve got the kids covered on your side without his help so clearly they aren’t needing for things.
You don’t need his permission
It’s their money…. So it doesn’t matter what he thinks🤷♀️ my daughter is 3 and she gets her money to “blow” as she pleases as long as everything she needs is taken care of….
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If he starts giving it directly to the kids, it’s Not child support that he owes to you. It’s a gift to the kids. At least that’s what I was told by the state of CA. When my X didn’t want to pay his Child support to me. He wanted to give it directly to the kids and that what he was told. You can cash the check and give it to the kid’s. You Don’t have to explain what or how you spend it on .
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Dad isn’t an active part of their life, so he doesn’t get any say. He’s damn lucky you’re not taking him to court for more child support!!!
I don’t see how that’s teaching them about money when they aren’t earning it. Kids value money more when they earn it and see how long it takes to earn it. Even if you use that money to pay them for chores around the house. Now is the time to teach them work ethic and earning their money. Don’t set up an expectation that they have this money coming in cause at 18 it’s gonna stop. That’s just what I would do.
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Is the support court ordered, or does he just pay it. Either way the money is for the kids. Open the account but monitor it, teach them to establish credit and pay the balance off every month. By the time their 18, they’ll have a great credit score.
It’s none of his business what you decide to do with the money. Keep taking his checks and deposit it in your kids account
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After all these years of being a deadbeat and no contact and making only payments to you why on gods green earth would u even tell him a thing. You should of said nothing to this deadbeat. And just opened up the accounts yourself and then deposited the money in your self. It’s none of his business. Why even mention it to this deadbeat. It’s a great idea tbh. But Why would you even suggest to stop your payments and deposit in kids bank accounts. He probably wouldn’t even deposit it if he stopped paying you and you’d be screwed on any money. Have some common sense. Also he probably could even drain those accounts if this moron had the account numbers. Please have some common sense. These deadbeats are disgusting individuals capable of anything. And are not to be trusted.
It’s none of his business what’s done with the money after he sends it. I wouldn’t even have told him.
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I agree 100 you’re doing the right thing… They should have classes like this in schools these days
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I mean the money is used for them so 
you could only give them only have part of it and have them save the rest, or have them “pay bills” with it and put it in savings accounts for them, my mom did that if my dad sent $100 I have to pay (I think) $50 in bills then when I graduated my mom gave it all to me and she had found a high interest rate account so I had a nice chunk after I graduated,
But even if you just give them all of it, he really doesn’t get a say in how the money is used, what’s the difference between you giving it up front or putting it in your account and then pulling cash as kids want something
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My mom gave us the child support our dad sent when we about that age. She didn’t encourage us to save it. But it sure helped for gas/lunch money and what not.
I wouldn’t have even told him and just took the check and out it into their accounts if he’s going to make a big deal about it.
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Let him be mad. Who cares.
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The money is to raise the children, what you do with it is none of his business.
Child support is not supposed to be set aside until kids are adults. It’s supposed to feed, clothes, transport and shelter children.
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Not any of his business what they decide to do with their money. He just needs to worry about making sure he sends the child support money like he’s supposed to do.
So I agree with giving it to them, but with them being 15 and 16 why don’t you split it and start them both a car fund to buy their first cars?! That’s what I would do! So they learn the value of a dollar but they can also learn to save their money!
Why would you even tell him? Let him send the check and do with it as you see fit…
I’m just here to say, thank you for allowing the child support to go to the KIDS not on lavish crap for yourself. Too many just take the money and use it how they please, without the child having any benefit.
My best friend gets child support sometimes and she gives it to her son
Goof for you. If you don’t. R
Need the money then give it to the kids… make sure you teach them responsibility with earning money thou
Not a bad idea. Set it up where maybe half goes into their savings account. The other half let them chose or save more.
They shouldn’t just blow it but save it for college or something
I only received child support for a very short time I was unable to give it to the children directly because I needed it to support them good for you for having a great job and being a good mother
My daughters only ever got $96 a week. Try splitting that! However I gave it to them to do as they wanted I called it snack money. So as a mom do as you see fit!
When my ex paid child support I used it for whatever when needed and I also put in her account but also saved the bank receipt to prove to him because he thought I was spending. So I proved everything to him.
You are doing the right thing, once my daughter started high school her child support went straight to her.
He’s legit just a sperm donor since he’s no contact with them stop telling him anything
It’s none of his business! Why tell him? Do what you want !
It’s none of his business, tell him that he can continue to pay u then u do what you want with it x
I agree with putting it in their own accounts, but I would keep the cards and put restrictions on it. Like, you only get this when you turn 18 and if you do x, y and z.