Going through a lot and I need your advice ! I’m living with the baby father and I was blindsided a few weeks ago when he told me he didn’t want a family no more! I’m still in the house of his I just can’t find another place to go because their is nothing out their! I’m hurt I’m crushed and burnt out from trying ! I need advice I got a councilor for myself and my 11 month old daughter ! I can’t sleep in the same bed no more for him to ignore me or not help with my child!I thought for sure we were going to work on things he was still doing family things with me and made my family friends look stupid sitting with them! He’s fake ! He even slept with me 2 nights ago! My emotions have got the best of me need some support here ladies!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My childs father told me he didn't want a family anymore: Advice?
He told you he doesn’t want a family.
So listen to that. And of course he’ll have seggs with you. It’s seggs
Say okay and move tf on. Trust me there are plenty of men who would love to have a family.
He told you he didn’t want a family. Yet, you let him sleep with you? Maybe he’s depressed? Maybe he’s dealing with his own problems?
If you have to ask us you already know the answer . He’s made it clear he doesn’t want a family, take your child and go, you deserve better .
Hugs and plz don’t settle for this abuse! You got this… keep kickn butt …
big hugs … Even though he might feel very important to you now don’t worry you will get over him and have a nice life just keep being a good mom don’t let his nastiness make you neglect your baby find a home somewhere and move out get a job and keep going you can win
Can you go to your family?
You need support now!
Def leave asap! Start over
It’s scary but always always turns out better🙏🏻
Stop sleeping in the same damn bed with him. Ignore him. He doesn’t help with the kid and does his own thing then you should too. Keep looking for a place.
You need to go!! Do you have family to help you?
If your going to have sex with him cool but he just sees it as sex not love. Call around and get help with housing and daycare. Set up child support everything before you leave but do leave. I bet he has a side chic or is entertaining the thought of a certain one
With that dude seriously he obviously need to
Go with out
Leave and learn to love yourself. There’s lots of assistance out there. With dignity and grit you’ll find your way. You don’t need another man, you need to heal
The best advice I have is to never stay where you’re not wanted…
There’s nothing that you can do when someone doesn’t want to stay in a relationship, is something has to be force is not worth it, sleep in a different room ( maybe the baby one) and start looking somewhere to go , have some respect for yourself and stop having sex with him , it’s hard but it’s not impossible to live after a break out
Do what’s best for your child, then yourself. Its no fun starting over, but you will be glad you did later. Take one day at a time
Get a sitter, get a job and leave. Nobody can make anyone want them. Of course he still wants sex, but that doesn’t mean he will be good to y’all.
Document the proof that he doesn’t want a play and part, leave and pursue child support and full custody
I can’t imagine how much that hurts, but he made it pretty clear he wants out maybe can stay with a family member or friend until you find your own place, ask him about child support, he actually did you a favor by being honest, not waiting 5 or 10 years to tell you, and if he doesn’t want a family, there are plenty out there that do, so sorry
Can’t force love. Move on and take care of you and your child.
Sounds like he left already. So sorry. There are shelters that can help single moms. Call Human Resources dept for help. Maybe look in the paper for someone who needs a roommate. Pray about it. Also churches help. God bless.
My heart aches for you. Wishing you the best outcome, whatever it may be.
Stop fucking sleeping with him. File for assistance and they will put him on support. Leave if you can to friends or family.
My husband did the same thing to me when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant and on the other side of the US from my family! I called my mom and she and my brother came and got me and I NEVER LOOKED BACK…now I am with a wonderful man who married me and takes great care of me and my son….don’t waste one more day on this loser!
Why would you have sex with him,he is abandoning you and yr child, get mad. Tell him to move until you get your self straighted out, and don’t get pregnant again, he is using you
First off…cut him off. STOP sharing a bed with this man before he puts another baby on you that he doesn’t want! Just quit! Reach out to friends and family or a support system. Maybe just emotional, or financial or a temporary place to stay. There is someone out there for you and your daughter and, it obviously is not him. It WILL get better but, you have to stop giving in to him physically and emotionally. Just walk away. That is HIS loss! You’re the Queen of your own future. Own it.
My son in law did exactly that to my daughter a few months after my granddaughter was born. Get yourself together and leave when you can. Or have him leave.
I went thru the same thing! So devastating girl but you will get thru this! Hold on tight for your your child, I had 2 they are full grown now. Ask family for help and support. Go to Divorcecare.org and add in your zip code and go to one close to home. Best thing I ever did, and now teaching it in Cocoa if your live near there. God will help you thru this trust Him!
Dude. Stop banging him ! if he doesn’t want a family, why are you still doing family shit together ? You go sleep on the couch if it’s his house and start looking for a job. Any job to help you pay for a new place. Just find a cheap one bedroom apartment for now. Just leave. Then find a lawyer.
Find a friend or family member who might let you stay to you get on your feet.
Don’t be the rug for him to walk on. Lift your head up and go on your own. You will find love again. Get a lawyer and have him pay child support.
Get out Find help soon for you and your child
Dont sleep with him and definitely don’t have sex. Rather a man loves u or not or wants u or not they will 99 percent of the time, not turn down sex and will want sex.And be nice in order to get sex. Don’t forget about child support. When u leave go to child support services and get it done. They will take it from his check
i agree with Shelly stop sharing his bed they are places for women and their children and hit his ass up for major child support
Of course he will have sex with you. You are ALLOWING him to use you for sex. He already made it perfectly clear what he wants. Move on!
Let him walk but make it clear that if he leaves now it’s for good make him put it in writing
Do you have parents or a family member you can go stay with until you can find a place for you and your little? Also, love isn’t like a turd. You can’t force it. It would be better for you mentally to just leave with your child and move on with your life, accept it is what it is, and be the best version of yourself that you can be. If you run into him the grocery store or on the sidewalk, act like you’ve never met or seen this dude in your entire life. Don’t kill them with kindness, kill them with blindness.
Stop sleeping with him…he dont want you, but he wants to you down. I dont think so, leave girl, there is a man out there that will love you and your daughter and want that family with you. Dont sell yourself short.
If leaving immediately is out of the question, start making plans to get out of there. If you have family that will help, turn to them, no need for lengthy details, just that you and kiddo are leaving and need a hand up to get settled. If that’s not an option, find out where there would be help for housing, section 8, apply for state aid, take as little as you have to. I would have a bag for baby and for you packed to have in case you have to leave without notice. There are resources out there, you and your kiddo deserve to be somewhere that you can settle in and start over.
First thing is first do not sleep with him again… thats the biggest complication you’re going to come across
He is cheating for sure
Stop sleeping with him, stack your funds, apply for all assistance and start the child support process. I’m sure he’ll change his tune quickly, but the damage has already been done. Don’t let him tell you twice that he doesn’t want you.
You slept with him too! Leave him alone! Pretend he is a ghost! Work on a safe place for you and your baby!
Lock him out of house and wave bye to him.
Since he told you that it’s all about you and the baby and in my experience when I was told that he already had another woman and yes it’s a shame that they wi leave you holding the bag but you will be better off without him contact your family and friends and reach out for help.
Wierd situations suck. Do you trust him with the baby?
You could take him to court for child support plus half the home and spousal support.
Depending upon where you live, even if not your home but living common-law (same rights as married depending upon the law where you live), you don’t have to leave…if you do then there’s no way back in and is considered like giving up your right.
Don’t have sex anymore…it’s too emotional. You leave pieces of yourself…work on keeping yourself whole while going through this.
Is this the babies father? If so let him get out till you find a place, get your child support let him go!! Make a life for yourself and the child! Don’t beg any to stay if that’s not what they want you deserve more and so does the child. If it’s not his child find family or friends to help you get on your feet!
It sounds like he may be suffering from some major depression you get away and do what you got to but try to convince him to seek help that’s not normal and I might get hate for this but if he does get help and change his mind later on give him a chance a lot of people go through bad stuff.
Are there any shelters you and your baby can go to?
Talk to a lawyer or social worker. Since you have his child, I doubt he can kick you out. Do this immediately. He is using you.
Honestly. If you just be honest with yourself it’ll hurt a little less. Let him LEAVE. Relieve yourself from that stress.
Take every dime you’re allowed to take and don’t feel bad.
He’s a waste of space. What you need to do now is see if the place where your counselor is has a case manager or someone like that. If so, that person may be able to get you into a housing authority apartment. These places go by your income. The case manager will put you onto someone who can help you find a job and child care. Also get you legal aid to get child support. There are various places you can go to get free groceries, clothing, and furniture. You just need someone to let you know where they are and when they’re open. You won’t need them forever, just till you get on your feet. Once you get settled and get your feet under you, you’ll be able to function. It won’t be so hard to get by. Once you do get on your own and get established, don’t let him come crawling back to you. He might try. He might try to do it to stop the child support. He might do it to sponge off you. Or he might do it thinking he can get something from you. Guard your heart and your money from this clown. Most of all guard your baby. If he can run out on the baby before she’s even a year old, where’s he going to be when she has birthdays, Christmas, school functions, etc? He said flat out he didn’t want a family anymore. Tell him, “Fine. Get to stepping. And KEEP stepping.” And most of all, never let him touch you again. He blew that!
Stop sleeping with him or doing anything for him find somewhere anywhere to go
To bad for him he’s a father whether he likes it or not. Talk to a lawyer, he is the one to leave not you. You need somewhere to stay with your child he has to support until his child is 18 or out of school. Send him packing for the safety of your child. You do not want any harm coming to your child because he decides he no longer wants to be a father but wants to still be a husband.
This is the reason why you get married. Now what do you do?
You did the right thing to get counseling for your daughter and yourself, but he doesn’t get to change his mind about a family. He already has one. The only option he has is if he gave up all parental rights and allowed someone to adopt her now or in the future. He needs to understand that he does this, he will have NO RIGHTS OR OPINIONS to how the child is raised.
Go to child support services immediately and file on him.
- Spousal support
- Child support
- Never look back.
Hes trash, take it out immediately.
Get child support started now! He no longers wants a family he needs to leave not you and the baby. Nope he can go.
Stop sleeping with him
Act like he’s just a roommates. Don’t do anything. Eat , watch TV with . Nothing …
Find another place to sleep couch or spare room . Heck get a blow up bed and sleep in the babies room . I’m sorry he’s turned your life upside down. But you have to truly just tell yourself he’s done . And don’t belittle yourself into sleeping with him. He has no right to use you just for sex .
I would definitely file for child support . And they can help you get into a new residence even if it’s not what you would think is ideal. You can then save up and move .
Having sex with you does not warrant a commitment so long as you’re giving it up he will keep taking it but he is already told you he does not want you or the child you need to right now find out if you can get you and your child into some type of program for women and children that provides housing and to help you get on your feet a lot of places have these type of organizations in their towns and it’s time for you to start looking into that and this way you can be self-sufficient and walk away cuz all he’s going to do is hurt you and the baby and you deserve better I will keep you in my prayers
Is the baby his? If not leave. Easy.
If it is then he should have thought of the before hand.
Fk him!!! Stay there!!! If he feels uncontrollable he can fkn leave!
P.s if you need help throwing his shite out … I’m sure we can arrange that!!!
Make a plan to move on… Doesn’t want to be a Dad… it’s best now … when she’s little. He just wanted sex.
Yup move out tomorrow and get child support
Ppl don’t read! She has no where to go. If I were you. I’d cut off sex and anything that you do for him.
Contact a Womens group get help and move out. Get child support!
Sue for child support for sure…
you might need a transitional womens shelter I’ve not news for him He has a family for the next 18 years or so. Get professional advice before you move out.
He’s cruel asf. Evil as shit.
Go seek an attorney and get as far asf as you can away from this asshole. I’m so sorry. Idk wtf has happened to humanity
First stop sleeping in the same bed. 2nd contact an attorney.
Do not move out until you have filed for child support & have somewhere safe to go. Do not leave any belongings behind because once you leave he doesn’t not have to let you back in to retrieve anything.
Hold your chin up. Continue therapy & join some support
groups. Do not go back!
That’s so sad, leave before things get worse.
Why would you sleep with him if he’s already told you all this and had changed his behavior towards you?
He should’ve wrapped it up then. Sorry he has no choice just like we don’t. Stay in the house, kick him out. Take him to court, seriously… he needs to man up.
Stop sleeping with him. It’s just confusing you. Put up some boundaries and continue looking for a new home. You’ll be ok.
So go live with family?! Or a friend get a job! Why did you sleep with him!!! Now there a potential for another child ffs
The questions are was it just sex or was there feelings in the love making. If feelings and he isn’t either going or forcing you to go stick it out for the time being. The unfortunate thing about today’s relationships is the complexity.
First of all if he doesn’t want a family then why are you laying down with him and doing family things with him ?
Save money and walk away. Don’t ever settle for less. You’re stronger than that !!!
No matter what he made your child and is obligated to support him/her. Don’t let him bully you. Sleep in a separate bed and talk to your counselor about how to move on.
Check your renters rights for the state you live in, file for custody, then apply for housing elsewhere. If he’s abusive you may qualify for a domestic violence grant.
Often a Judge will award the house to the parent with whom the child lives…
2ndly - please get on birth control; you do not need one more to care foo, right?
3rdly - it is easy for a man to walk away; a baby is a big responsibility in their mind…
4thly - do not give him privileges and yet treat you that way he is … why buy the cow if the milk is free, right?
He will continue to jerk you around because you LET him… sleeping with him will NOT change his mind - I promise; thousands of females will tell you so …
Lastly, I am so sorry for what you are going through - <3
You need to leave and take your child. There are resources available.
Go get legal advice " ASAP ,
Try to find emergency housing, go to child support services and open a case, file for sole custody and list him as the absent parent on paperwork for assistance through the county, get all of your ducks in a row to take care of you and the baby.
He can’t just kick you out, but you really shouldn’t be in that situation. He’d have to go through the courts and follow the tenancy laws for your area and state. If the child is biologically his, it is against the law to kick the child out until they are of legal age. And him trying to force you to leave it kick you out also falls under domestic abuse.
Even if you do not pay rent, are on the lease, or he owns the residence, you are legally a tenant and in a domestic partnership. You have a child together. He would have to go through the court system to have you removed from the home.
See an attorney asap.
Even if he wants to sleep with you ,hun you shouldn’t let it happen. not until things are figured out ,your in a weekend emotional state and it will only confuse you more
Go to your country to start the paper work for child support or general assistance. If you get cash assistance and food stamp and medical, they usually will bill him for it. Its called child support. If he doesn’t pay, they suspend his license. You need to save up every dollar to get yourself your own place. If you work, then make sure you file for it at yoir local child support office snd sue him for all 11 months. Let him know you’ll be billing him. Secondly, why the heck are you sleeping with him. You need to have some dignity for yourself
Stop trying to make this work with someone not committed. Think of you and your child, kick this waste of human excrement to the kerb and teach your child self worth. You can only teach self worth by valuing yourself and realising you are worth much, much more, only then, will your child learn the value of self respect and self worth. Good luck to you and your child.
Kinda late to decide you don’t want a family. After the fact you help created a life.
Sign up for child support asap
get out asap even if with family
I understand your hurt, upset.
You can’t just turn off your feelings.
But if he has said this too you I would be more think about who, who is the reason he don’t want a family is he seeing another person…
As it seams a odd way too say he does want too be with you but family means the child too by the sounds of it…
I did know quitting the family was an option. Shit, I’m giving my 2 week notice! Just remember that when (and he will) he realizes the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it! And wants to come home I hope you have tell him to kick rocks!!!
Find a way to leave. It’s not a healthy environment for your child to grow up in. And stop giving it up to him. He wants all the benefits of a family but none of the responsibility. He’s a user and you will end up wasting your good years on someone that was never interested in staying. He will eventually move on to other women, save yourself the further humiliation and heart break.
Laugh and say “that’s to bad” and then get child support when he does what he wants.
Get away from him now. You cannot just decide you don’t want a family like that. Not saying this in a mean way but stop sleeping with him.
Kick his ass to the curb. Go closes all bank and savings. He’ll be the one to have to leave. He will have to pay out the Ying Yang!