I am very religious and kind of set in my ways … but my 13 yo daughter has come out saying she’s bi and I want to support her, but I’m having a hard time … do you have any advice to balance the two without making her feel like I’m not supporting her
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Just always love her
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Dont bring up religion and treat her normally
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Accept her for who she is.
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Take your own advice, support her 
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God loves everyone. With that in mind please let her know you love her no matter who she chooses to be with. My ex stepmother was so religious and made me ashamed of myself .
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Lots of maturing & changing goes on in the early teen years. I would not criticize just let her grow into her own. I have boys but encourage them to care deeply for a person before moviing to any kind of physical relationship
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There are plenty of congregations that offer support from mentorship to same-sex weddings. Find one, I guess.
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Your mom and daughter is Deliverd in Jesus name Amene
Just keep loving her with your whole heart …your daughter needs your support and love now probably more than ever …God would never be mad at you for loving your child and accepting her for what she is and putting that love for her before anything else <3
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It’s not “against your religion”. Period.
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Of your religion is Christianity than, there should be no issue loving and accepting her as God does us all!
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The Bible says to love the neighbor and that’s your number one commandment. It doesn’t say love your neighbor unless she’s gay. It’s your daughter and your job isn’t to understand, to lecture, or change. Your job is to love her. And I fully 10,000% think that’s what Jesus would do.
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Let her be who she wants to be since when does it have to he against your religion? This is why theres so many depressed kids nowadays
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That’s a big decision for a 13 year old! Did being a kid get looked over??? SMH
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You can absolutely do both. Since you are religious try to remember God loves every one, he is the final say and the only one to judge. God will love your child regardless. I applaud you for wanting to support your child and stick to your faith. It is okay to do both.
Love her as you always have, take solace in the fact you have a good relationship with her that she came out to you and she trusted you instead of hiding it. What ever you’re doing is working. She will still have heart break all the same. Dont make a big deal of it if/when she brings home some one of the same gender treat them same you would any one else.
“Let he who is with out sin be the first to cast the stone”
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She’s still your daughter, I went through the same thing… just keep loving her.
If you’re having a hard time supporting her I suggest you find a new “religion”
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Do not criticize her. If she sees that it upsets you she will retract into a shell and feel ALONE… Please dont make feel ALONE… Talk to her and tell her that even though you dont agree it is her decision and you SUPPORT HER NO MATTER WHAT… do not make her feel ashamed. You don’t want her to resent you for making her feel ashamed. She is still young and just now starting to explore her sexuality. This is not uncommon for teens to feel this way boys included… They are trying to find their identity and place in this world. Its not up to us to choose who our kids fall in love with. We just need to support them…
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Shes your daughter so fucking accept her.
It’s awesome that you have her back. Perhaps it’s time to take a deeper look at a religion that tells you not to support your own child. You can definitely find a sect that will encourage love of all. In the mean time, just go on loving and supporting her.
My son did too. I told him that I love him no matter what and it doesnt change a thing. But in reality I’m scared shitless of what he has to endure now with all the ignorance in this world. But I’m so happy and proud he came to me and didnt feel like he had to hide it.
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Love the sinner not the sin.
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Accept her for how she is
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My youngest daughter came out as bi a few years ago…she’s 20 now…but I was raised to not believe people are born this way, that it’s a conscious choice so this was hard for me. But, I can tell you, you MUST love her unconditionally…or you’re at risk of severing any bond you may have. I just finally came to the conclusion that if I wanted her in my life, I had to accept her the way she is.
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God loves us all! We all sin differently. Just love her!!
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Be honest… sincerity will go further than anything. Tell her that you know this is against your religion, but she is your daughter and means more to you than anything. Just tell her that you support her and love her. Nothing else matters.
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Give it time to set in. Be a mom still and support her regardless of your religion. God loves all and no sin is more than another. My dad didn’t talk to me for a month when I came out as gay and now he loves my wife. He just needed time.
Your job is to be there for your daughter, she is who she is, religion cant stand between that love . The most important thing is for her to have love and support and know she is always accepted for who she is… God is love, god dont judge, god loves your daughter for who she is just as you should too
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Dont focus on the sex of the person, but the treatment of your daughter. Stick with that no matter what and encourage her to be happy no matter what that looks like
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You can love her regardless even tho you don’t condone what she does.
Figure out what it is about gay ppl that is HURTING you🙄
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Love your child, there is no reason not too
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Love the sinner, hate the sin. That’s too simple I know. Because she is going to say that what you consider the sin is part of who she is. Just remember it’s not your place to judge. We should love everyone. Not those that live up to our ideals. She is the same person you have always known. Now you just know her better. Love her, support her. I’m sure you can find scripture to support what you choose to do either way.
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you can still have ur Religion you dont have to believe in EVERYTHING it says… Just support her and love her the same Way as before. Really NOT hard dont Allow it to he Problem.
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You can love her without supporting/accepting her lifestyle choices. Continue to be her soft place to land and offer advice and prayers.
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The only thing the bible forbids is man laying with boy as in an adult with a child. It doesnt forbid love of people with the same sex…
Lots of books and research out there for you and her your local library might have some age appropiate books for her
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I am not religious but my family is to a point. My son came out to our family at 14. Even though a lot of people in our family think it is wrong. They have accepted him and love him just as they did before they knew. I was raised in church. So I understand your plight. But also realize how hard it is to follow the bible teachings completely, or pick and choose which parts to follow. Especially when it can be very contradictory. In this situation choose your child. Love your child. She can not help who she is. If you choose your religion over her the results can be catastrophic and tragic. She does not deserve that. Just love her she’s your baby. God will understand.
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Time to ditch the religion and support yer children no matter what. You are half way there keep it up
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In the end it doesnt matter who she is with as long as she is happy , being respected , an cherished. Keep showing the love and support and be open minded . atleast she told you now i know a lot of ppl who are grown and still try and hide it because of the fear of not being accepted . just my thoughts
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I have read the bible and i see no reason why it should be a problem…maybe i’m missing something (not looking for a debate on religion)
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You loved and supported her yesterday, why would that change today. She is your child and now more than ever needs your love.
I would re-evaluate the religious aspect. Her choices are between her and god.
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I love this. You can support something while not agreeing
Religious or not she is your daughter… If you want her to feel like she can talk to you except it! She may not feel that way as she gets older but making it a terrible thing will make her want it more. Be a good mom and just be there for her 
Ummm the bible teaches you to love everyone- there’s no verse that tells you being gay is wrong. Would you not support your child no matter if they were themselves or an orange 
hippo? Teach your children to love others as themselves and to treat everyone as equals and as a great human. Even if they are gasp- gay
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One of my sister’s happens to be gay. I don’t condone it, but she is my sister and I love her.
Very common for teens to fall in love with their same sex friends. Also to want to try different things. This may not be written in stone for her yet. Maybe it is. Either way your job is to love her for who she is. From the sound of your post I’m sure you will.
Also I have a few friends with adult gay children. One set is in the process of adopting. One set is in the process of finding a sperm donor. So don’t think there goes my chance of having grandkids.
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My mom is extremely religious. I was scared to tell her I’m pansexual… I am in love with a transsexual man. My mom had a REALLY hard time with this for a long time. Don’t push anything just be PROUD that your child felt comfortable enough to talk to you about this… that show’s she trust you enough to love and support her. Take a moment to be proud of that.
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Love her the same way you always have maybe get her a rainbow tshirt or maybe a cake if you wanted to do something extra
Well first, let me say thank you for being a good parent and allowing her to be honest and talk with you. My daughter said the day thing at that age… I accepted it and told her I still love her the same and thanked her for being honest… now she’s 17… she says that was just a phase and that’s not how she feels not.
Teenagers have so many hormonal changes, usually behaviors aren’t set in stone.
Don’t worry momma everything will be fine either way. As long as she is happy you will be happy
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You love your. Children Unconditional.
You love her and support her. 
you don’t have to cut out your religious views to do that. You guys are on separate life paths, and that’s fine. Don’t bring up how wrong it is to her, don’t say you dont support it, even if you don’t. In the end, you support HER.
When my daughter came out as bi I told her that there are only three things I care about. 1. Are you happy? 2. Are you healthy? And 3. Are you safe?. Nothing else in the world should matter including who her partner is unless that partner interferes with those three things. Until then I’ll always be supportive of what she is and does.
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Your religion is a belief… Your child is your flesh. If your religion doesn’t allow gays… Time to look into a new religion. Your child needs a family. Sorry to say she doesn’t need a religion. She needs love. Your job as a parent is to help her grow and love her so she can become who she is meant to be. Not who you mean for her to be.
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Don’t ever tell her that you love her but hate her sin. She will turn away from you so fast. For now, just be quiet and love on her while you wrap your brain around this revelation and do some real work on learning about the LGBTQ community.
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Your daughter is more important than your religion. She’s still the same little girl she was yesterday
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Jesus chose to sit and eat with the honest sinners over the deceitful “devout”. I would simply tell her, I don’t agree with your choices, but they are your’s to make. I will always love you and support you no matter what. We might not agree, but you will always be my daughter, and leave it at that. I’m paraphrasing here, but how can you pull a splinter from another’s eye when a beam is in your own? Why fight over something when you have your own faults? Just love your children.
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Well its hard . Growing up today is so confusing . I feel u i am through a similar problem. It only gets harder
Jesus says love everyone. Prostitution is against the bible and his best disciple and closest ally was a prostitute. Just because it’s a no no in the bible doesn’t mean shunning or judgement. Just love her as Jesus would.
I can speak from a lot of experience. Your child will never come to terms with herself or who she loves for a long time without your support. Just love her. She obviously feels comfortable enough to tell you which is awesome! Just keep on loving her. Religion is suppose to be about loving one another as god made you. Just support her, love her and remember god made her 
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Tell her exactly what you said. Ask her how she would like you to show your support and let her know your having a hard time but you want to apologize in advance if you say or do something to offend her but she has your whole support and love
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God loves his children unconditionally right? Why don’t you?
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I loved all the responses on this post! Just wanted to say how proud I am of all the mammas on here for choosing unconditional love over anything else 
I am super religious too, but as a mother and a follower, you know your only job is to extend grace… Period. It’s not for us to judge, it’s up to us to love and that’s all.
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It’s a phase, growing up I had lots of friends who did that. It’s more so now cuz of the world we live in. You show her love and pray for her. And pray that God gives you the wisdom of how to deal with it.
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I’m religious and some people in my religion would say homosexuality is a sin and calls for hell. However in my holy book God is the most merciful. I don’t believe in casting a human out because of their sexual orientation. The God I have learned to know would never allow that either. You don’t have to agree with it but my duty is to stand up for the oppressed. Hopefully you can find it in your heart to support her even though you don’t agree. Support her and be kind and stand up for her when she needs it.
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Give up the religion. It has you brainwashed from a young age.
My daughter is either bisexual or lesbian and she may be transgender- she’s still working on figuring all that out.
As an atheist, the bible can go fk itself. My child is more important than a bunch of fairy tales.
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My daughter said the same thing. Im just not religious. I support her in her decisions as its not me thats gonna be doing it its her. Just love her unconditionally whether she likes girls, guys, black, white, or green it shouldnt matter as long as that person treats her good and they are happy. You never know if its just a phase she is going thru or not but its ultimately not our choice whether they do or dont. Good luck mama!!!
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I have a lesbian daughter and a transgendered son but I am not religious. But I would still love and support them because they will always be my kids and they deserve happiness
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Just show her all the love you have for her and treat her the same way as you’ve always treated her.
Religion has nothing to do with accepting someone for who they are. If it does then religion is the problem, love your daughter for who she is right now because in a year she will be even different and probably throw another curveball at you that may or may not go against your religion once again.
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Just remember: you must be a good mother as she confided in you! I am not religious, but what I do know is that God created all ‘men’ equal and want us to love all…
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My son is gay…I kinda knew something was different around age 4. He’s 19 now. Only advice I have is choose your battles wisely & don’t raise an unhappy child. The last thing you want is a child that’s suicidal because among 100 other things they have to go through adding living with parents that don’t accept them. It was a struggle for me but I don’t do stress so I had to choose love.
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My advice:
A life with your daughter in it.
Or
A life with your daughter not in it.
Its your daughter, your believes can be changed, your daughter is who she is. Accept her for who she is, or lose her as your child.
Please choose your child.
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Your daughter was born this way and Is just now coming to terms with who she is and your support and love would mean the world to her, religion or not, don’t tell her anything to make her think you don’t support who she is and where her life is going. You should love her the same now as you did the day she was born, nothing has changed.
I’m so glad you want to be supportive. Very sad to see it doesn’t happen with some people. In other words, communication will be key. I’m assuming you’re new to it so you can always ask her how she feels. Ask her how you can be more supportive. Let your daughter lead the way in how she wants you to be supportive. I wouldn’t know what to do either as a parent. I honestly would just ask my child how can I be a better parent to them with their new lifestyle change or whatever. I would be honest and tell my child that I’m new to this and to be patient with me as we all learn to be supportive of each other. I’m also religious but I also support the LGBTQ community. Who Em I to tell them how to live? We all get one chance at life, why should I interrupt anyone’s chances of happiness. That’s the way I see it and I’ll be raising my child to view it the same and I truly hope i succeed. He doesn’t know about it yet, he’s still small but when the time comes I will be prepared I hope.
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The fact that you are wanting to support her and trying to figure out how says a lot about you as a mother! You go mama 
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Love momma… That’s all she needs from you! Is to know you live her and that you are trying to understand! This truly means the most!
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Just love her she will always be your daughter in the eyes of God. I didn’t see anywhere in the bible that tells you not to love your child.
Only God can judge. That’s not your job. Love your daughter. Support her.
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I would make it a point NOT to make a big deal about it. Just tell her you love HER. And leave it at that. She will figure herself out. Lol
Its not about you or your religion. Its about her. Leave your personal feelings out of it. She talks about it, meet her with love not your own personal beliefs
We are all made in gods image right and they love all people? That includes the lgbtq community.
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I would just say that you love her and want her to be happy. As long as she grows up to be a good, caring and confident human, it shouldn’t matter who she chooses to love.
You will have differences of beliefs in a lot of areas. You want her to want to come to you when she is struggling no matter what. Clearly she trusts you because she shared this with you. Stay that amazing parent for her and she will continue to come to you as she discovers more about who she is.
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Choose being a good mother and good human over anything else. God is the only judge and it is for no one but him to do so when it’s time. Love your child. Phase or not she needs her mother to love her for who she is and support her during a very strange time in her life.
I am bisexual and Catholic. My mom struggled but eventually came around after years of a lot of nasty fights that landed me in the hospital due to self harm.
Trust me when I say she needs you to love her more than you disagree with the sexuality.
I am praying for you both and good luck.
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God loves everyone equally and so should you period… You support her and keep.any negative opinions to yourself. Think of it like your.mom use to say, if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all…
Love your child, continue to live right before your child. Ask God to give your child clarity. Its not our job to change anyone only God can do that. God loves your baby. The Bible tells us nothing can separate us from God’s love.
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That must be hard momma… Just love her and keep praying
I think if you’re completely honest with her, it’ll open up a road of communication between you.
Tell her you love her and you want to support her, but it’s going to take some time for you to open your mind and allow yourself to process everything that’s coming out (no pun intended).
Tell her she’s always allowed to come and talk to you, and you’ll try your hardest to understand, accept and help if and when you can.
And most of all. Love her. She hasn’t changed. She’s still the same girl she was a week ago. Love the crap out of her!
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Religion is a way to control the masses. Your child learned to live happy no matter what. She should be the one teaching you how to live. Cut religion out of your life and live happy. Live with love in your heart without limits.
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Someone told me a very very southern baptist woman… said God gave you this child to love, support and raise up to him… that is it… it’s his job to judge.
Being religious ask God… he will guide you with how to support your daughter in a very loving way.!
God makes no mistakes… just turn to him for guidance.
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I’m glad you want to be supportive. Just remember your religion doesn’t necessarily have to be hers. You don’t get to decide she has to believe what you do. You’ll drive her away. Just love her the same as you always have.
Explore your religion. If you’re Christian your religion isn’t against homosexuality. Your for profit church is. Read your Scripture, not just the cherry picked verses your preacher picks & translates to fit their agenda.
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How can a 13 yr old know she’s “bi” if she hasn’t had sex yet.
You can support her by letting her know she has your support.
Religion is the last thing you want to bring up… Religion is for those scared of going to he’ll. Spirituality is for those who have already been.
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Check out your local YWCA they have some fantastic LGBTQ+ support groups for individuals and families.
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At 13 she may not even been bi just experimenting. either way it doesn’t matter. She gonna be who she’s going to be whether you approve or not.
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If your religion believes that “god” would not want all people to have love you need to find a different religion. I cannot stand the "hate the sin, love the sinner’ crap. Sins are something we choose to do–no one chooses their sexuality. and it is totally unfair to say she must be celibate for life because you believe it is a sin. Just love her and allow her to love who she loves. Of course you can have the same standards for her that you would have if she were hetero–like you tell her you hope that she will wait until she is an adult or to be married to have sex(and thank goddess gays can get married now!), and no matter what her sexuality --hetero, gay or bi, it is good to have conversations with teens about consent, safe sex and pleasure.
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What does God teach us? To love… so momma Love that baby! Push religion to the side and focus on LOVE!
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My daughter came out in the last year and will be 14 in August. First of all I am a mother. The fact that my daughter trust me enough to confide in me to begin with let’s me know that I’m doing something right! SHE CAME TO ME! Not her friends or acquaintances! ME! That means she has that trust in me to know that I will be there for her no matter what and that my love will NEVER stop! We as parents can have religion but have to know that our kids may not follow our paths and that’s okay. We want them to be able to make their own decisions with understanding. Life is hard enough without casting judgment on our own children!! Just remember when your child comes to you, you have that choice in your words and actions and what you say CAN affect whether she comes to you again!!
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Religion or not that’s your child should support her no matter what
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