My daughter is mixed, how can I do her hair?

My husband is black and I am very very white. Our 8 year old is obviously mixed but white passing…her hair is that of a POC though and I struggle with doing it sometimes…I want to learn how to do braids and protective hair styles but dont want to offend anyone with me learning or with my white passing daughter wearing them all the time…so what can I do with her hair? I dont want to upset people by learning braids that are not used in my culture but I feel I am letting my daughter down by not knowing out to protect her hair…

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Take baby girl to a black owned business and let them show you a few hairstyles to keep her hair protected. Best to go straight to the source because they will have the best knowledge. You learn, they earn, and everyone wins because baby girl feels like she got the pampered princess treatment. Nobody will judge you for coming into a business and asking for genuine help.

And if anyone in the world feels some type of way about you and your daughter taking care of her hair, just hand them the business card of the place you took her and wish them a beautiful day.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter is mixed, how can I do her hair?

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Why does she keep saying white passing. That’s some toxic stuff for her daughter

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Quit worrying about offending anyone. If they have a problem with a mother wanting to learn how to fix her daughters hair then they are the ones with bigger problems

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There is some groups for mixed hair styles, also your local beautician should be able to help with braiding.

Also YouTube will give u some tutorials.

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Stop worrying about being judged and do what’s best for your kid.

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Take the child to a beauty salon & let them do it & you carefully observe how they are styling it for her.

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grandma? Auntie? A hairstylist? Your child has hair that needs to be done and it really doesn’t matter who is “offended”. Learn how to care for her hair and let people be offended, thicken that skin up

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Find a hairstylist that specializes in poc hair. You can post on your local groups or nextdoor. Make sure to pay for the education skills and lessons that come with taking care of your daughters crown. Best of luck mama there will always be haters

I think you’re awesome for your approach.you only want wats best for ur baby nd if that’s braids to protect her hair thn it’s braids…and whoever cares needs t worry bout their own selfcare and stop projecting there insecurities on others

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It may not be your culture, but it is hers. Stop worrying so much about what other people think, you’re doing a great job just by wanting to learn.

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I can’t remember the name of the channel but there is a YouTube channel for White Moms learning mixed/black hair. Also, don’t be afraid of stopping by a Black beauty salon. Getting your little ones hair done will get get acclimated with properly caring for her own hair and also loving her hair texture.

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Talk to the black women in your husband’s family and ask them for help? If not an option, maybe ask in your community for advice?

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Ugh! If people were unnecessarily sensitive about the wrong things, the world would be so much easier to live in :relieved::woman_facepalming:t4:

Since your daughter is mixed, she has right to both cultures… I would encourage you to learn YouTube and other channels you can think of or if your husband’s family are close by, you can ask them to help out or teach you

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First off. Screw people. Braids arent specified for one type of hair texture. People of all races have worn them for many years. This issue has been more pronounced since people have became self entitled. Learn what you need to for your daughter period.

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I just wonder why you would be offending anyone, she is half black.
The wording “white passing” I think is more offensive.

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I think the best thing you can do for your daughter is to stop worrying about offending people. Go watch some YouTube videos and use google, there is tons of info on this on those two sources. There are also books, or take her to a salon and have the stylist show you some stuff.

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YouTube is a good resource. Black mothers are too. I’ve known many situations where white mothers have turned to their black friends for help with hair. Most mommas are happy to help out.

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See if one of his family members will show you how to do her hair. That’s what my cousin did with her daughter.

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YouTube is your friend

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Just need to Google how to take care of curly hair. Don’t detangle or brush while dry. Use conditioners made for curly hair. Don’t shampoo very often it’ll dry it out.

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If asking someone on his side isn’t an option, Call a salon that does that type of hair and ask for lessons. Many will happily teach you. :hugs: For melanated girls, teaching them to care for their hair is important as type, thickness, etc is different.
She’s your daughter. If anyone says anything, shut them up.
If you need help making grown folks cry, hmu. I’ll teach you. :smirk:
Nobody should talking about children. Ever. :blue_heart:

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People can be offended, your daughter’s needs supersede anyone’s assumptions as to why you’re learning or why she has her hair a certain way.

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Do her hair as if she is a child. No color involved. Let her be a child. Simple

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The hell is White Passing. ?

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Take baby girl to a black owned business and let them show you a few hairstyles to keep her hair protected. Best to go straight to the source because they will have the best knowledge. You learn, they earn, and everyone wins because baby girl feels like she got the pampered princess treatment. Nobody will judge you for coming into a business and asking for genuine help.

And if anyone in the world feels some type of way about you and your daughter taking care of her hair, just hand them the business card of the place you took her and wish them a beautiful day.

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I do not think anyone will give two shits on how you do your daughters hair

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There’s a white mom who does protective hair styles for her daughter who is black and she is phenomenal. Took her years of practice so settle in for a long tour. But better late to the black hair care party then to never attend.

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The best thing you can do would be to get hooked up with a black stylist who braids, just call around to salons! I am a hairstylist and I feel very confident that the stylist you choose will actually be very appreciative and supportive that you are trying to learn how to give your daughter the best head start on learning how to do her hair. You learning to braid or fix your black daughters hair is not cultural appropriation. It’s genuine care for your black child and helping her to celebrate her culture. And I think anyone can get behind that. This is just like dads who want to learn how to do their daughters hair so their daughters can go to school feeling good about their hair. It’s not a bad thing at all for you to want to do this!

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Any women on your husbands side that can help teach? If not, I have heard and seen of MANY women of color that are more than happy to show white mothers of mixed kids how to style hair. It’s going to be new to you.
As for the your fear of people judging you… some people will always find something to judge you for. Do what’s best for your sweet girl.

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If you guys have anyone from his side of the family around that knows how to braid, ask if they can teach you. Don’t be afraid to ask :slight_smile: or see if anyone in your area on marketplace, or Facebook does braiding classes? YouTube is also another suggestion, good luck with learning how to braid your LOs hair! :blush:

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I’d be glad to show you, we can video call tomorrow on messenger?

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You tube videos are a good way to learn. Plats/ box braids are a good start. I am also white and my husband is black, between us we have black, white and mixed children. Thankfully I am able to do everyone’s hair. Definitely search videos on YouTube though.

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Here’s my mixed daughter who looks identical to me. If it weren’t for her daddy being black people would never guess she was mixed

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Take a her to a salon that specializes with her type of hair. Try looking at various videos to learn. It may seem intimidating but never be afraid to ask questions.

Youtube videos is your best teacher you will learn everything you need to know there…check it out.you will thank me later​:sunglasses::sunglasses:

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As a white mom to a bi-racial daughter I know your struggle.

I was able to connect with some lovely ladies in my community who taught me in conjunction with watching A LOT of YouTube videos.

I also bought a dummy head on Amazon and just practiced a lot. They’re still not perfect or salon quality but they get better each time.

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If you can’t talk to family on her father’s side, there are many classes available to take online. If you want to go a free route definitely look into YouTube. Ita not your culture, but it definitely is hers and you should know how to help with her hair 100%

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Omg just do it and learn. So many ways to learn including family. Her hair is important and needs to be cared for properly like anyone’s. Let others be offended if they want.

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They have a lot of videos on youtube to help parents with this issue. Some things. Use a silk pillow case, keep her hair moisturized, use a wide tooth comb start from the ends up, stay away from products with have alcohol in them.

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You are honouring HER culture as far as I’m concerned… maybe look up multicultural societies… try and find someone to help you…

Many black women like myself are more than happy to teach you. I truly believe the “white passing” is more offensive than teaching your baby who she is. You should surround yourself with women who represent your daughter as well.

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I am a huge people pleaser so I understand what you mean. But I’d go to a professional. Maybe call around and see who would be willing to help you.

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I’m upset about the white passing comment. If her hair is of a mixed texture she more than likely presents as what she is. Mixed…If you know of any black women or can find her a black hair stylist I’m sure they will help. I don’t see any woman being offended by a mother wanting to take care of & preserve her daughters hair :slightly_smiling_face:

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Would look at YouTube tutorials

Can we all take a minute to imagine how difficult it must be to have mixed children because our society is so offended by every little thing? My daughters are Philipino and we are completely unapologetic. It’s a shame that culture literally brow beat you into this post

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Ahh is braiding a culture thing? I’m white as can be and bread my hair everyday . It’s 2022 time to share the hair :rofl::love_you_gesture:t2:

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YouTube is your friend for braids and hair styles.

Don’t wash her hair every day. Twice a week for the most. I was my daughters hair Sunday night and Wednesday night. and I just wet and detangle in between. When drying use a microfibre towel, I use shampoo, conditioner, detangler spray, curl cream and castor oil (just a couple drops).

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contact a local hairstylist who specializes?

I was given a braid book when I was 9 and told to learn how to do my hair or it was gonna get cut. I am white as a lilys [email protected]&. I feel bad for your daughter that this society is so ignorant that a hairstyle becomes a racial thing.
Also so you know there are many different braids in many cultures. Dutch culture has braids that wrap around the head inverted. French braids are over.
Cornrows are Dutch braids in lines That’s what the technical name for them is.
I didn’t even know they were a racial thing being a hairdresser doing updos etc. I used them all the time. And I practiced them on my Barbie’s to see how small I could do one. (I really didn’t want to cut my hair)
I would either buy a braid book and do them with her. Or watch the totorial on easy girls hairdos.

You know what
Phone a salon that does the type of stuff you want done and ask them for advice. Tell them the situation. Explain the texture etc of her hair. Tell them honestly that because this hair is more dominant in your husbands culture and you don’t know what to do because your don’t want to irritate anyone but you need help.
They will tell you to bring her in and will treat her with the expertise that they have. It’s also an excellent learning experience for the stylist with the difference in texture or color. It sounds fun. Trying to find a medium that will make everyone accept it.

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You’re such a sweet Mom, I just wanted to say! :sob::heart: Agree with others that you can take her to a black stylist who can teach you a few styles & keep learning from there. I love that you want to step out of your comfort zone for your baby girl… If every Mom would be so bold for their kids x

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Somebody do a youtube video !!!

First things first, FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK!

Family members on his side could maybe teach U if ya ask them. U can learn a lot off YouTube videos. If none of that works take her to a salon that specializes in African American hair styles.
There’s no reason to worry about what other people think. That being said I probably would stop saying “white passing “ it just doesn’t sound good.
Just say my daughter is by racial people will understand.

You’re doing what’s right for her.

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its not passing if she is bi racial she is equally as white or black, & “passing” is pretty much a thing of the past. i would hope that in todays world no one feels so opressed that they feel like they have to “pass”, don’t focus so much on black/white… just love your family & let your kids be kids

You tube ! Easy videos for beginners … don’t worry about offending anyone your child is of color nothing to be shy about … also maybe ask for advice and help on learning new things from her dads side of the family …
I love to separate my god daughters hair (mixed) into 4 sections and twirling her curls with my finger so they bounce I also did that with my daughters hair who is white … get the hair wet and moisturized rinse squeeze across water take a comb straight down the center of the top of her head then side to side like (+) then secure with elastic rubberband (pony tails ) then curl the hair around your finger … sooo cute
Or even make a pony tail and Braid the pony tail in multiple little braids and secure with elastic make sure hair is wet and tight tight braids as well
You can even add some coconut oil or baby oil hair gel to keep hair in !
Good luck
And don’t worry about anybody opinion
They need to mind the business that pays them
Who cares what kind of hairstyle a child has ? Ppl need to grow up !
Good luck again mama !

It’s for your daughter so don’t worry what anyone thinks. :purple_heart::purple_heart::purple_heart::purple_heart:

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I have 4 kids and my youngest is mixed but doesn’t look it but her hair texture is coarse even though it’ doesn’t look like it but when you touch it or style it. I have tried several things in her hair and it’s gonna be a trial and error what works with her hair. I have used Mixed Chicks, curly Kidz and several other. If you look up mixed kids hair online you will see tons of great tips and articles and things to use in her hair.

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Join a curly hair group. Jessie’s Multicultural Curls is awesome. Check out YouTube and one never cut or straighten her hair without a curly specialist.

A lot of black owned salons have been offering “classes” to help others learn how to properly care for black hair💗 Situations like adoption began this but I’ve seen it adapt to include parents with mixed children as well. I would bet if you went into any black owned salon and asked for help that they would gladly accommodate this request

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I have 4 mixed children and I do my Childrens braids the best that I can. Or I have someone else do them. I feel like because you have a mixed child it’s more frowned upon if your not doing their hair. I’m far from the best at doing hair but I definitely try my best and it creates great bonding with your child as well

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You’re concerned about offending strangers with braids, but refer yo your daughter as white passing ? Someone get social services involved asap

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Check out YouTube. They have some cute styles and it shows you step by step :sparkling_heart:

You tube has SEVERAL videos to show you step by step how to do amazing things with multi racial children and adult hair.

My girls are 1/2 pr n blk. It was a struggle at first. But had to learn somehow. And make them feel ok. YouTube was a lifesaver for me. I wasnt scared to ask friends n family. I learned, they learned.

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We don’t care ! You should learn because your her mom and you’ll be her biggest teacher. :heart: you got the right thing in mind just do it

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OMG baby girl, this society has just gotten so out of hand I SWEAR!! You don’t see us white people pissed that POC are wearing our hair like fkn LITERALLY braided into their hair, because they want our soft flowing locks, yet the same ones that do that have the nerve to ostracize who can or can’t wear braids or dreads when BOTH styles have been in literally every culture for centuries!! People are so stupid and hypocritical!

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Braids are a culture thing :thinking: My daughters are mixed. I usually pay to get my oldests hair braided because she is to lazy to take care of her own curls and fights me to wash and comb it.

A lot of beauty salons dont know how to handle mixed hair. Do your research first, dont take her just anywhere. Make sure you do your research.
Some tips:
Only brush curly hair when wet, use detangler, always braid at night. Use conditioning products like cantu, Miche, or mixed chicks. Not every brand works for each hair type.
When washing hair, use more conditioner than you think you need lol

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Bring her to a black owned salon or ask members of his family! Sit and learn so that it’s something not just she is learning but you as well! My mother is white and had 3 black children she learned from black friends and family and our hair always looked amazing and cute! It’s amazing that you are asking and wanting the help but now just go out and get it your daughter is getting older and needs those tools. Good luck!

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O stop. Look at some YouTube vids of black hair treatment and styles and do your kid’s hair! I’ll be offended if u dont!:roll_eyes:

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Her hair is NOT her culture. Her culture is of BOTH her heritage, so taking proper care of her hair is neither offensive nor in any way appropriation. As a mother of twin mixed girls with very fine, loosely curly hair, we treat their hair as it is and what is best based on that, not as society would demand based on their skin color! Calling her “white passing” is literally assigning her one facet of her heritage while dismissing the other. Equally insulting to both sides. She is a MIXED baby and as such, there is no true distinguished designation. If her hair needs more oil and conditioner…is better suited to those beautiful braids, then mama DO IT. If her hair is too heavy with additional products and is too stressed with those braids and causes more harm then good, then by all means, do whats best for that baby’s hair. Stop being so concerned what other people think of how she looks and do the best for her God given attributes.

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Shouldn’t worry about upsetting anyone no body owns hair styles people are gonna get upset about any and everything can’t please the word . reach out to your hubby’s family to help show you !

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Black owned salons/barbershops and initiate spending time with his family so you can learn!

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You can go on pinterest for style ideas and YouTube. Both can help out a whole lot. Also, maybe ask his side of the family for guidance, names of good braiders, stylists and whatnot.

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If she is white presenting I’d learn to take care of her curls and keep her hair neat, ponytails, French braids. There is no need to put her hair in tight braids. I have 4 biracial kids. We use curly hair products. My daughter is more black presenting but her hair being mixed is not a coarse as black hair so she doesn’t need protective hair styles but certainly has had braids put in by her aunties on various occasions. Many many full white children have very curly hair so just because she is mixed does not mean you have to turn to certain cultural hair styles. Just treat it as curly hair. Good Luck :slightly_smiling_face:

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You’re over thinking it, it doesn’t matter if she’s mixed, plenty of people know how to braid, Just net work and ask some of the other mothers, I’m sure they will be more than happy to help you and give you some ideas for cute styles.

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Use YouTube! It’s very helpful! There’s also a mom on TikTok who has a mixed daughter as well and she does her hair on TikTok to help out other moms with mixed babies!:yellow_heart:

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Do what’s best for your daughter :revolving_hearts:

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OK I have to ask as I don’t have a clue (yep I’m thick)
What’s white passing ?

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I use carols daughter products on my sons hair (he is mixed also) snd I always use conditioner to brush through the knots and I leave it in and it sets his curls so nicely and keeps his hair healthy

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I once saw a story about an older white couple who adopted a little black girl so they went to salon and asked them if they could please teach them how to properly care for her hair.
Perhaps this could be an option for you to look into?
Also, YouTube oftentimes can have some awesome tutorials that could possibly help you learn how to properly care for it. . Just might take a little time

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Trust me when I say, you will not make people upset unless you DON’T learn to do her hair and teach her about the importance of all facets of her life, and PLEASE stop saying “white passing” you sound very ignorant and attention seeking. Coming from a “very white” mother of 5 biracial children. Stop making it about you, and learn your daughter’s culture and what works for her. FOR HER.

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Love you learn any hair style your little one desires! She is mixed no matter how much pigmentation she has in her skin. I’ve always believe a hair style is just that & truly should not reflect on color unless being used in a racism form. If anyone says anything to her let her know to simply tell them “It’s just a hair style and if it’s really a big deal I’m mixed anyways” and exit the conversation. I’m sorry you feel this way society is horrifying these days :pray:

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My grandson is biracial, he has hair like his Dad, too. At 16,he has decided he doesn’t want it cut,my daughter has talked.with her black friends( since his Dad and.her are not together) about how to manage his hair. Sure.you can reach out for advise too.

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how would you upset people your daughter is BLACK! She has poc hair because she is BLACK I think you’re completely missing that because she’s “white passing” she’s still BLACK she can wear braids twist outs plaits etc I’m sure your husband has a mom and sisters they can teach you if you really wanna learn. YouTube can even show you.

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I know an older white couple who adopted 5 black siblings, 3 girls and 2 boys. She watched YouTube videos and and asked a local woman who specializes in braids for help. She said at first it would take her about 18 hours to do all their hair, but now she can do it in about an hour, hour and a half.

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Maybe you could take her to a hair dresser and let them teach you how you could learn how to do her hair

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Consult with Kanisha at Entrar no Facebook | Facebook

Link up with actual Black people, in real life, not just YouTube videos, which should only be used as a supplement, not the primary instruction model.

Your Black husband has no ideas or input about any of this? :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Girl take her to a black salon or barber and YouTube girl.

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European hair doesn’t work well with Cane Rows (as I learnt from my honeymoon in Barbados) but plenty of styles suit mixed heritage hair and handy tips and hints are available thru salons everywhere including the Internet.

What is white passing in this day and age? She is beautifully her self a mixture of what shes design to be , teach her how to do her hair .

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Doing your baby’s hair will NOT offend anyone. This is YOUR child and you do what’s best for her. What’s offensive is NOT taking the time to learn her hair (not offended by you but it’s sad when people don’t learn their Children’s hair).

For example, I have a mixed daughter and she looks more black in the face but her hair is more like her father’s. It’s straight at the roots and waves into loose curls at the ends. I had to learn not to put too much oils in her hair and to wash it more often than I thought I would. Her hairstyles will be slightly different than mine were as a little girl and I respect her hair. My best friend is white and teaches me everything I need to know.

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Maybe take her to a salon where they can teach you how to fix her hair.

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Look up mixed kids hair groups on FB. It all depends on the texture. Look up the difference in low and high porosity hair. Once you determine that… look up LOC or LCO method. That helps keep moisture locked in. Don’t feel like you’re going to upset people… you have a mixed child… you should learn and teach her about her crown! :crown: YOUTUBE!! So much info is on there. It’s all trial and error.

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Is her father and his family " white passing " also? Surely he knows some black women.

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Really sad people have to worry so much about offending others to the point of it offending others anyway. YALL JUST BE KIND

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