I need advice!!! My daughter 16 soon to be 17 in November will not go to school and if she does its 11:00. Doesn’t do anything to help out around the house or clean her room. I have taken her phone, tv, game system and even sat in class with her and nothing gets to her to change. Her dad is MIA since birth so it just me, her brother 20 and 2 younger sisters 2 & 8 months
15 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter refuses to go to school or help around the house: Advice?
She needs professional help. Preferably individual and family counseling. This is a cry for help, not just laziness.
29 Likes
Hopefully she changes before it’s to late. I was the same way. Now I’m 35 today, no education no ged or diploma, only fast food experience and housekeeping for jobs. It sucks. I have low self esteem. If u can’t talk sense into her. Then it’s school or get a job and contribute if not then there’s the door I’m sorry but u can’t stay here if ur not in school or working.
22 Likes
I would start by going to a good Dr. That understands hormones and nutrition! I would then you and her go to a gym and exercise together…if you can get the whole family going so much the better. The whole family should get into a good Bible believing church…there is no love like God inspired love and the compassion that she is missing from not having a father…It is so wonderful that you care and are trying to help!
4 Likes
Have you actually sat down with your daughter and actually talked to her? If not maybe do that and see what’s going on and get to the root of the problem and go from there. Obviously something is going on with her to the point where she has given up basically.
4 Likes
Take everything away
Take her door off
She give her a bed
That’s not against the law
5 Likes
Besides taking her stuff away have you sat down with her to talk and listen to her? She’s 17 so she’s old enough to be able to tell you what she’s feeling.
And by listen i mean you don’t talk and you let her talk and don’t criticize her. Also have you considered she may be getting bullied at school.
Maybe at home with such young siblings, she feels left out. toddlers and newborns can take up a lot of attention. Also sometimes parents with older kids tend to ask or have the older kid take care of the younger. Are you doing that?
Also maybe instead of school, look into her getting her GED. Talk to her about it.If she’s not going to school then she’s going to fall behind and it’ll be harder for her to catch up.
Also maybe set up a meeting with the school and you, her and the school sit down and discuss her options before it’s too late.
3 Likes
You allowed her to get away with it for too long
4 Likes
Take her to the doctor. It could be depression instead of laziness. She could be getting bullied. Try talking to her first and see what’s going on.
2 Likes
Go to your local courts and ask for her to be put underneath what’s called the high risk youth program. It’ll make sure that she’s in school and doing what she’s supposed to or she’ll end up in juvie and she’ll go to school at juvie on their times it works
1 Like
Make her get a job and pay rent. My daughter quit school. She worked for a summer in a factory, I told her if she don’t get a good education this is the type place she will end up at. She went back, she also ended up staying in school after graduation
Go to school and live by my rules or move out
4 Likes
I’m dealing with this and all you can do is give them the resources to help themselves but if they won’t. There’s nothing you can do. Stick to your rules and boundaries. Still insist she contribute to the household and don’t let up on your consequences.
First I would ask her doctor fr referra so psychologist and counseling also go to courts they may take her jdc until she gets help
Library trips I wonder how she fits in school may be a toxic environment for her
When you have tried everything send her to a boot camp. Available in your area. Contact juvenile authorities.
Sit down with your daughter and actually find out the issue. If you’re understanding and calm I’m sure she would, if you’re not she won’t tell you, she’s probs acting out because no one’s listening to her.
Maybe try online school? Is there something going on at school? Just try Talking to her mama 
I hope things get better
5 Likes
Fort Knox has a program for at risk youth as well
1 Like
By the poor vocabulary, I’d say the mom is uneducated or lazy as well. Perhaps they both need schooling as well as professional counseling. If she stopped having kids and put her efforts into the ones she already has, she’d be more successful at raising them. They do sell birth control these days.
1 Like
Guess whose gonna get less or nothing.her education is everything.
3 Likes
Find out why she’s acting this way. Bring her to therapy
1 Like
Here choices go to school get a job or move out
Make her study for her ged. Stop paying for her phone. And anything that’s not a NEED.
Take her to get a job at McDonald’s and to get used to it, because she’s gonna be working there her entire life 
Sounds like mental health issues. Take her to therapy
AC IS NOW CANCELED. BE SURE TO THANK JESUS FOR her deliverance and Miracle healing Amene. She’s going to be fine Amene
There are a lot of lazy parents in the comment section.
1 Like
I’m not taking your phone…I’ll take your entire bed away. I won’t take your TV away, I’ll take all your clothes. What’s on the floor? It belongs to the trash man now. Hungry? Figure it out. Shut all the electricity off to your room, oh - you’re bored now? Bored, meet dishes. My kids are gonna hate me 
no tolerance for nonsense.
Attention. She needs positive attention. Being a mom is hard, being a single mom is even harder. Your daughter is probably harboring a lot of emotions and feelings you don’t know anything about. Kids need to know their feelings matter and it’s important that they feel heard and most of all listened to. If she won’t talk to you about what’s going on, you should probably look into counseling for her. You have a chance to bridge this gap with her. Instead of focusing on what she isn’t doing; maybe look into the reason’s why she’s doing what she’s doing.
4 Likes
Sounds like someone needs to go to the bad kids home
2 Likes
Doesn’t she understand that you get citations for her not showing up to school?
Making taking every little ounce of joy from her and humiliating her isn’t the route to go 
Maybe try a therapist or have someone else intervene since she’s clearly not budging with your choices.
She has severe issues with being told to do anything. It will take professional help to get to the bottom of this. Good luck with this.
She needs reality check 
I remember when I was that age and I’m not much older now. Trip to the JDC should make her chipper, and more greatful, she can get a PO for school too. Or hit her with the 90 or GED at the JDC. Promise she will sing different tune.
If she has phone, take it. All privileges she has take them. Give her a chart with prices for everything. You can use chores as prices. She’s almost an adult and needs to learn responsibility.
My youngest daughter stopped going after Christmas break while in the 9th grade. She also has not left our apartment since then. She is now going to be 20 at the end of the year. I had in-home therapists, school teachers, truancy officers, 2 different social workers even tried home schooling. The more we tried to work with her the more she stopped engaging. Taking things away might help with certain kids but not mine. In 8th grade she was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, anxiety, ptsd, social anxiety and ODD. A lot of ppl feel that ODD is nothing more than a child being a brat. That is not the case. She also stopped taking her meds because of what the possible side effects listed. Her therapist also wanted her to be tested for a level of autism. From her sessions they told me that she was a literal thinker which is a form of autism. I have for a few years believed she is also agoraphobic. One night I had come out on our deck to see the sky as it was a yellow gold color at 9pm. I could see her heart bounding outside of her chest. She was having a panic attack. So Dearly Mom Life, start by doing therapy and just pray. I will be praying right along with you.
My youngest daughter stopped going after Christmas break while in the 9th grade. She also has not left our apartment since then. She is now going to be 20 at the end of the year. I had in-home therapists, school teachers, truancy officers, 2 different social workers even tried home schooling. The more we tried to work with her the more she stopped engaging. Taking things away might help with certain kids but not mine. In 8th grade she was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, anxiety, ptsd, social anxiety and ODD. A lot of ppl feel that ODD is nothing more than a child being a brat. That is not the case. She also stopped taking her meds because of what the possible side effects listed. Her therapist also wanted her to be tested for a level of autism. From her sessions they told me that she was a literal thinker which is a form of autism. I have for a few years believed she is also agoraphobic. One night I had come out on our deck to see the sky as it was a yellow gold color at 9pm. I could see her heart bounding outside of her chest. She was having a panic attack. So Dearly Mom Life, start by doing therapy and just pray. I will be praying right along with you