Could you please post anonymously? I have been going through hell with my 13-year-old daughter, and now she tells me she is bisexual. She told me she has a girlfriend too. I don’t know how I feel about this. Is she too young to make that kind of decision? I think she is, but I am at a loss for words. Please help!
Just be there for her and support her, thats all she needs
Just tell here that she is young and doesn’t need to work about dating seriously just yet because she has a lifetime to decide these things but either way you will be right by her side for love and support… Also that you would like to know about her girlfriend… Her being open to you is important
She’s finding herself. Be there and support her.
Umm… accept and support her for who she is.
If she told you she liked a boy or had a boyfriend would you think her too young? I doubt it.
She’s pubescent and old enough to know her preferences/likes/dislikes of many things in life.
She needs your love and support. Its not easy for anyone to come out and be who they really are. Accept her for who she is.
She either is and you’ll just have to accept it or she’s being rebellious so your best bet is to tell her your supportive of whatever she chooses.
Is she too young to decide she likes boys? Would this even be a question if she told you she had a boyfriend? No? Then what’s the big deal?
What does it matter if her partner is a girl or boy, as long as she’s respected, cared for, and treated well…
My daughter came out as a lesbian when she was 11. It gave me the courage to come out as bi. Kids these days have it more figured out than adults do.
If she truly is she knows she is… If she is attracted to girls then she is attracted to girls. There is not an age on that type of thing. I feel like it wouldn’t be a problem if she told you she was attracted to a cute boy at school. It’s all good. Just be her mom and let her be her.
This sounds so panicked and dramatic. She’s a new teenager exploring and experimenting within a confusing hormonal nightmare! So just be cool eh?
Supportive and accepting.
No matter what she chooses. Always be there for her. At the end of the day…she’s still your daughter.
It’s not a decision it’s a feeling. You know what you like and what you don’t like at a young age.
You like who ya like
Hell no they all seem to be changing. Hopefully she will either grow out of it or not.
Mine is 13 and came out I support my daughter and no it’s not to young I was Bi curious at that age they know trust me.
She’s experiencing new feelings. My daughter went through that when she was around 12-13 as well.
Please support her … she is just trying to figure out who she is. But it is very possible she is already aware of who she is. Take it from a mother of a gay child they just need to know they are loved and supported. Good luck!
Not at all. If you knew you were straight at 13, she can know she’s bi at the same age. Nbd- love is love.
I told my mom at 13 that I was bisexual and I had known for a few years before that. 24yrs old and I’m still bisexual even though I married a man just support her
My 15 yr old daughter came out to me as bisexual last year and my response was “annnndddd?” I told her it didn’t matter to me who she liked or loved as long as she was happy, and now she has been dating her girlfriend for about 6 months now and is very happy and I’m happy for her! Just support her momma bc that’s what’s going to matter to her the most, seeing her happy and being true to herself is what matters!
13 is probably old enough to know what she’s feeling. It could still change. Be her rock either way.
all these children with parents who aren’t accepting. So sad for them
My 11 year old told me the same. My response was “you are too young to be worrying about who you love. You have a lot of living to do, but if you decide that you like girls that’s fine. I will always love you” then I gave her a hug.
My daughter came out to me at 12 and told me that she was bisexual and I said OK so am I congratulations we came out together
Are you just worried about it cuz she likes girls or do you think she’s too young to like anyone? At 13 we have hormones flowing and we have sexual attraction so I’m sure she actually does know who and what she likes. Doesn’t mean it won’t change later… just support her and also reinforce that’s she’s too young to date anyone… girl or boy right now.
She’s trying to figure out who she is. Just support her and be glad she told you.
Be there…support her. You can have your feelings as a mom when things change, but she is growing up and she will not accept who she truly is if she doesn’t have a support system.
I was about 10 when I realized I was attracted to females and males. At 28 in still bisexual
It sounds like there may be much more going on besides whether she likes girls or boys. Especially since you mentioned you have been going through hell with her.
Perhaps your feelings really have nothing to do with her preference, but your over all frustration.
Maybe take some time to sit and think about what the real concern is.
Does she have a trusting relative so you both can take a little breather?
Eitherway, you will have to find a way to support her decisions but it will more difficult if there are other things going on.
13 is a tough stage in life. Add this pandemic and everyone is a mess… even teens. The most difficult of children need to be loved differently. Don’t continually seek out the bad in her but praise the good. Love her differently. If she is bi, who cares? She is still yours for life. I would focus on your relationship with her, before I worried about anything else.
Be happy shes telling you. You can’t change how she feels, just be there for her & support her either way.
You can not tell someone how they feel and 13 is not too young. As a mother all you can do is be there and support her.
You know you say you are going through hell with her but you must be doing an amazing job for her to come to you with that. I would just thank her for telling you. That takes guts, just a simple thank you for telling me. I mean because either she is or isn’t and either way I knoe you will love her
Boy or girl, I just think 13 is so young to be dating lol that’s just my opinion.
Love is love. At what age did you know you were straight? Accept her and be supportive no matter who she choose to love or feel attraction too.
Be supportive and there for her my 11 year old is a Tom boy she hasn’t said she likes girls but she is all boy dresses like a boy has even told me she doesn’t want to be a girl wants to be referred to as a boy I told her she can’t change to a boy till 18 gives her time figure her self out but I’ll love her regardless
Look on the bright side, with a girlfriend… no teenage pregnancy
My question is when did you know you were heterosexual? I hate hearing parents talk like this. My daughter’s gay and I have never once thought that she was putting me through hell by opening up to me and feeling comfortable about who she is.
She needs to figure it out herself. You just need to be there for her.
I mean I knew at 12…32 and I’m still bi…
I’m bisexual. I’ve known since I was about 11. She’s not to young to realize who she’s attracted to🙄
Be there for her, just like you would if it was a boy. You should feel blessed she told you, now don’t make her regret telling you. Support her, even if it’s a phase cause she’s only young once and it’s her life aswell even if your her mum and wants what’s best you need to realise it’s her feelings and they are important even if it makes you abit uncomfortable. And if you are uncomfortable maturely explain to her that you are and maybe it’s not her or the girlfriend maybe it’s just something different to what your used to and maybe your daughter can help open up your world abit more and be more acceptable
I think people except s things from youngsters 2 easy anymore kids are influenced by so much I think you should remind hur how young she is and how much time for life she has ahead of hur focus on education and what you want out of your future plenty time for the big decisions in life slow down
Shoot my soon to be 14 year old has told me she’s gay bi trans a list of other things I just said as long as you’re happy nobody’s beating on you and no still means no idc go be happy and to be safe in everything you do
I told my dad around that same age. He responded that it was just a phase… Here i am 26yo and nothing has changed. Respond with love and support. She is still young and figuring out who she is. You can’t tell someone how to feel or who they are. Don’t make her feel misunderstood by her own parent.
Always support and be loving. You need to be a person she can vonfide in and talk about her feelings. If she works out that this is who she is that’s great. Of not thats fine too just be there to help her through no matter what never ever make her feel like she needs to hide who she is for any reason or you will open up more damage than you bargained for. JUST LOVE YOUR BABY!
She’s not too young. I was 4 in preschool and had crushes on boys. I remember wanting to hold their hand and kiss their cheek. If I can know at 4 what I’m attracted to, a 13 year old can as well.
As for the dating part, that’s on you in regards to the rules set in your home.
Did you know at 13 you liked boys? Why is it any different for her to know she likes both?
I think you’ve done the right thing by asking for advice. Personally? I would accept my child no matter what age they came to me with that information.
I knew I liked boys at that age, My eldest came out to me at 11, and also has a girlfriend now at 13. I just said Ok love, same dating rules apply!
Love is love and I accept them unconditionally!!
They already have so many mountains to climb and judgments tp deal with, always be their safe person who will always be there to support them.
If she can decide she’s straight at that age, she can decide she’s bisexual.
My sister is 10 she’s done decided she is bi-sexual has known but came out in the last year, it was kind of obvious with the games she looks up and different questions.
At 13 you most likely knew you liked boys, right? 13 is plenty old enough to know who you like. Support and love. Same rules if she had a boyfriend. It literally isn’t different at all.
Just support her through every step, even if its a ‘phase’ its how she is feeling now and she deserves your support.
If you dont support her, its not going to change how she feels its only going to change what she chooses to share with you.
You may feel as though she’s too young to make that decision but it’s definitely not a decision you can make for her. Are you going to love her any less, I surely hope not. All you can do is be there for her no matter what decision she decides to make.
I think 13 is too young to be dating but it’s not too young to begin feeling attraction. If she feels attracted to both boys and girls, her feelings are valid.
At the end of the day, is she still your daughter? Does it matter who she loves? Man or woman? Personally I could care less. My kids are my kids regardless of who they love. I think often times we judge our kids and others for making a decision or revealing a truth that isn’t ours. It’s okay to have that difference. What works for me, won’t always be the path my kids are on and that’s okay. I’ll still love them fiercely!
Ask yourself this “If it was a boy would you have the same opinion?” Would she then be still to young?
At 9 years old I realized I had interest in women
I recommend talking to her about it
Being bisexual is not a decision, it is part of who she is. Its the same as being straight. The dating thing is up to you, you set the rules of when she can date. But I think with proper chaperoning it can be a new positive experience for her.
At 13 I was allowed to date, just not go out on dates or go to each other’s houses lol. Pretty much just talk on the phone & hold hands & hang out at school. That’s gonna be the way I do my kids as well.
When you were a teenager…did you know you liked boys? Same difference.
Just be supportive. You could do real emotional damage to her if you aren’t. It probably took alot of courage to come out to you.
Your never to young to express your self
You need to accept and support her through this regardless if she has a girlfriend or not. I cannot stress this enough be careful what you say it will stay with her for the rest of her life. As a lesbian and having homophobic parents tell me it’s wrong and I’m to young to know ect. You will literally be your child’s bully. Just be there for her, she is trying to find her own path which can be super stressful as she would be dealing with a range of emotions and hormones.
She’s going through puberty. She definitely knows who she’s attracted to. Just support her and in the future when she says she’s dating someone, don’t ask “what’s his name?” Or “what’s her name?” Instead you should ask “what is their name?” If she dates a guy in the future don’t assume she’s “out of her phase” she will always be bisexual
Definitely support her, sonu dont end up pushing her away. If you feel 13 is to younge for a relationship then state that. But dont attack her choices. She may change her mind later. Shes 13.
Just love her on her decisions if its with a male or female you can not control what her heart wants
My grand daughter said this at that age. After she went thru the goth stage n some other phase I can’t remember what she called that one. They r young n I think very influencable by social media. They will probably change their minds 15 more times b4 they grow up.
Kids are lucky if they figure out who they are by the time they leave college. She’s probably just curious… or convinced she is because the world constantly shoves sexuality in our children’s faces.
I knew at that age and it’s still true. Love her regardless!! Support her too.
If you make her feel ashamed now, she’ll never confide in you again. Please just be accepting even though it’s hard for you. You’re supposed to be her biggest cheerleader & she confided something very difficult in you because she trusts that you’ll be support. Every step you take from this point forward will define both your futures, trust & relationship.
My son before he told me to sit down cause he needed to tell me something and I would probably never love or speak to him again I was horrified cause I thought he had hurt or killed something/ someone so when he told me he was bi I was so relieved and I gave him a hug he asked me if I hated him I told him no I was disappointed but loved him the same as always
Hang in there mumma. Some of it is just learning. And not judging. It could be a phase shes just saying so etc.
Remind her shes never alone. And you will always have her back and love her. Eve n if you dont agree with her choices. Remember she is stil young. And it’s all new
When you know, you know. It shouldn’t be a big deal. Just be supportive.
Shes 13 still shitting yellow, ask her what she wants to be when she’s an adult i can guarantee she’s guna change her mind by time she hits 20
At 13 you know if you like boys or girls or both. Support her, don’t patronize her.
She is your child and a human. Whether it’s a phase, she doesn’t know, e.t.c., you still need to support her and let her navigate this. Doesn’t matter how YOU feel.
I knew I was bi by around age 7. Believe her, give her support, and educate her about safe sex and consent. Also, educate yourself on having an LGBTQ child.
Support her weather you like her decision or not shes old enough to decide who she is attracted too
She’s definitely not too young to feel that way but she is too young for that label until she fully understands it
The post sounds horrible. And it’s probably the way you treat her too. Let her be and accept her for who she is. Even if it isn’t what she wants later on down the road she will have to figure it out for herself and not you! Your already at a “loss for words” you should change the way you freaking think lady before she never confides in you ever again.
Try to remain open . Remind her that you love her no matter what she tells you.
You can know as early as 4 you support your child be open minded.
13 is old enough to know what you like, but not old enough to be engaging in “any sexual” hear me? Keep relationships platonic for now, but like what she likes. She may or may not change her mind, either way, don’t label her, let her do that. And keep her away from behind closed doors with others
Just be there to support her. Learn more info about it so you don’t say anything the wrong way
She can absolutely know at that age. It’s not a decision, it’s who she is. Tell her you accept her for who she is and love her no matter what. Invite the girlfriend over for dinner and treat it like you would any relationship.
Did you know at 13 if you liked boys or girls? Cause I know I did and so did all of my friends. Let her to what feels right for her. I understand that she is only 13 right now but now is the time when they start looking and exploring to find their way. If this is her way. Be happy for her! Love her just the way she is.
Mine is 14 and came out also she says she likes girls boys or anyone that she likes people for their personality which is a great quality to look for I love her no matter who she decides to be with she will always be my daughter and she also just recently told me she feels like she shouldn’t be a girl
I wouldn’t like my 13 year old dating seems to young, but I wouldn’t make it to big of deal because that could cause her to become distant with you! And yes kids are influenced to easily now a days but u can’t blame everyone else for her decisions let her figure out who she is and who she loves because at the end of the day it’s her decision!
On a side note u must of been doing something right for her to openly tell u!
“I am glad you felt comfortable to tell me. I support you.” It isn’t for you to decide if it is “real” or not.
Explain your concern of thinking shes too young to date, but conversate WITH her not AT her. And as far as her saying she is bi-sexual, all you can do as a parent is love her for who she is or who she thinks she is right now, in this very moment. Even if you do not agree with her sexual preference, allow her to be herself and support her while she is finding who she is… Take into consideration that she trusted you enough to tell you this is who she is.
Support her!!! If a girl or boy can have a crush on the opposite sex at 13 then they can know if they like the same sex. Just like they can have boy or girl friend.
Let her know that you love her, and educate yourself on this matter.
I knew when I was 12. I just had it drilled in my head it was “wrong” and was never open about it. My daughter is 9 and has told me multiple times she thinks she likes boys and girls. Whether it’s a phase or not, she’s her own person. Let her make her own decisions and feel her own feelings. Your job is to be there to support her.
We’re you confused when you were 13 and knew you liked boys? Lol.
Just support her.
There are enough haters.
I wouldn’t feed into it but I wouldn’t shun or ignore it. I feel at 13 up until freshman in hs everyone was bi. And 90% of those people now aren’t and have kids and married.
At 13 shes old enough to know. I mean, I knew I liked boys in pre k lol
“I’m very proud of you for coming to me with your sexuality. I’m so happy you and I are close enough for you to confide in me about who you are and want to be. I definitely support your choice to be bisexual but because you’re still pretty young maybe it’s best you keep your relationships nonsexual for now. I would love nothing more than to share in this journey to you finding yourself”
Trust me. If I had this convo with my mom when i realized i was bisexual…it would have made such a difference. I grew up and stayed in the closet until I was 18. I didn’t want her knowing because she was religious but because we never discussed it…I didn’t know she would support me. When I turned 18 and told her it was such a relief. I definitely would have done things differently had I known. Be happy because it means your daughter loves you enough to tell you how she feels. Is that better than her hiding and keeping things from you?
If you want this to continue (her being open with you) don’t push her away. Be her safe space, her confident and her role model by allowing her to feel, love and grow with you.