My daughters aunt doesn't respect me as a mother

Basically my daughters aunt on her dads side (we will call her Sue) doesnt seem to understand and almost acts annoyed and entitled if i tell her something about our child. We have asked “Sue” numerous times to not have her boyfriend vaping around our daughter cause we dont believe her lungs should be exposed to that stuff and she was born premature needing her lungs inflated which has seemed to mean her lungs are weak? She gets rsv almost every winter she coughs even when a birthday candle is blown out near her due to the smoke. Now she used to agree to remind her boyfriend to not do it but it kept happening and it was always right next to my daughter which i would move her away and go take her somewhere far away but “Sue” and my daughters father would get annoyed or mad that i reacted that way saying im the problem so i apologize always and just let it go but everytime she invites us over i want to say no cause she literally rolls her eyesand gets an attitude if we say anything. To top it off its starting to also feel like she really doesnt care for my daughter like she says she does…my daughter ended up pretty sick this last weekend and we had plans to go to “Sue” house for a bbq but we messaged her we couldn’t go and she started saying things like “of course you can’t she is just sick its not the end of the world you agreed to come so come” so my mother said we should go and she would watch my daughter but when “Sue” found this out she became super annoyed again rolling eyes as expected and kept sending us this emoji while saying things like she wanted pictures to post of my daughter but won’t have any now since we are babying her by leaving her home. She also told me she is taking my daughter to disneyland at the age of 5 whether i like it or not which im totally fine i want my daughter to experience disneyland but i think she should be older and i want it to be on my terms its something i want to experience with her since i havent even been myself but she says nope its already been decided we are all going when she is 5 on her birthday saying its her decision and not mine. What do i make of all this? She just seems to want to have my daughter around to cure her baby fever (which she has admitted to) and to show my daughter off as if she is a super active aunt in her life but she isnt. There is no respect for me being a mother and knowing what is best for her but my guilt tells me to just stick it out so my daughter has a relationship with “Sue” i just cant get past all this plus there is more i havent mentioned that i wont get into much (she knows how her brother treats me is all i will say). I plan to talk with her and my daughters father this upcoming week but i know they will take the same side and go off on me so im scared and dont want to cave… im the only one who can fight for my daughter since she cant herself but two against one makes the odds feel pretty slim of me winning. What can i do? Am i in the wrong?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughters aunt doesn't respect me as a mother

Why are you even entertaining her? Who cares what she says.

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Tell her to kick rocks it’s your daughter not hers she doesn’t have rights to make any decisions and the dad needs to act like a parent

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In the end, she’s just the aunt. Sue can’t up and run off your daughter to Disney. It also is extremely disrespectful to smoke/vape around your child, especially since you have asked him not to. Sue knows your daughter’s medical conditions. If she’s willing to risk her health, she can do it from afar, aka, not seeing your daughter until she wants to act right. It is not unreasonable for you to ask her to respect you.

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You have a lot more patience than I do…. That’s for sure!!!

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The answer is simple: you’re her mother. Your daughter’s aunt either respects you and your rules for your daughter, or the aunt is not allowed to be alone with your daughter! You do not have to allow anyone to do anything for or around her, much less take her anywhere. Step up and stand up for you and your daughter. Sure, the aunt will get mad, at first. But, hopefully, she realizes that she needs to back off. I had to stand up to my mother-in-law, when my oldest was only 6 months old (she’s 18 now). She got mad at first and stayed mad for quite a few months. She cried like a toddler who didn’t get her way. She pouted like a child. She made me out to be a monster to everyone around her. Eventually, she came around and realized that she was wrong and that what me and my husband decide for our children is 100% up to us…and no one else. Don’t be scared Momma. This is your baby, not “Sue’s!”

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She may be dads sister but she is not responsible for your child. The way she is acting over your daughter’s illness, and the vaping, I wouldn’t let her take my dog anywhere! Period! If your husband can’t support you on this he is endangering her too.

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No Momma, you aren’t! And don’t cave. That Aunt sounds very immature and toxic. Stand your ground and protect your baby. My youngest was born with weak lungs so I know what you’re going through. You’ve got this.

Let me tell you something honey, when it comes to MY kids, I do NOT play. People can get mad and die mad because I’m ALWAYS going to do what is best for mine. With that being said, you need to advocate for your daughter. Tell your daughter’s father and his sister that they can both go to hell on a :rocket:. Stop worrying about if they get mad at you or not. Do NOT take your daughter over there if they can’t respect the fact that she has lung issues. Even if she didn’t, people should NOT be smoking or vaping around kids. PERIOD.

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I think you need to distance yourself and your daughter from her, and possibly from her father as well. He is her parent, and should be sticking up for her and looking out for her best interests, instead of siding with his sister and undermining you.

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Girl!!! She’s lucky I’m not part of her family!!! My kid, my rules!!! No one is going to take my child anywhere (regardless if it will be fun or not) without asking me first!!!
Are you and her father together? Are you a young mother? I’m just asking for reference.
When you say, I plan on talking to her about…… do not let anyone intimidate you!!! You should never be scared to voice your concerns especially when it come to your child. Babe, you have to get some thicker skin. I’m 43 now and my son’s 13. I had a disagreement with my mother about my son when he was younger and didn’t talk to her for a min. Don’t you EVER be afraid to say something bc you don’t want to “possibly” ruin a relationship between your daughter and her aunt. Girl, BYE. If that’s how she is, you’re better off!!! I’d rather be alone and happy then surrounded by people who make me miserable. When your daughter gets older she’s going to notice the disrespect. It’s not ok!!! Set an example. Stick up for yourself!!!

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I think you need to knock Sue and your husband on their azzes. He needs to grow tf up and protect his daughter instead of trying to please his sister.

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What do you mean 2 against 1 …??? You are the mother …. And if you have the majority of care you make the decisions…. It’s not a democracy when it comes to your children and there Aunty ……

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Put your foot down and Tell her she either follows your rules for your daughter or she doesn’t get to see or spend time with your daughter. Your daughter doesn’t need toxic people like her aunt in her life.

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You just gotta put your foot down one time and let that hoe know her place. Also repeat after me “Sue, you are not taking my daughter a damn place without MY PERMISSION. Take your passive aggressive remarks and shove them up your ass bc yo keep going down this road of disrespecting me and you’ll be lucky if you and your vaping boy toy will ever be around my child again”

You know who’s wrong first is that child’s father. Of course she doesn’t respect you because not only does he enable her behavior, but does not treat you well and she knows it. You have to stand up for yourself and your child. They do what they do because they don’t feel you will stand up. Of course they’ll try to manipulate you and then tell everyone else how wrong you are but endure through it. You’re both worth it. I wish somebody would tell me what their going to do with my child. I can’t even trust you in the same room with her because you have zero cares for her health. You want me to risk her getting sicker so you can take pictures at a bbq, and then taunt me through text? Then the vaping thing will happen the entire trip. Don’t let her bully you or manipulate you, and if he won’t back you leave him too. It won’t get better until you get fed up and either ignite change or leave to keep your own peace.

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Stand your ground! It’s for your daughter. Don’t put her in unhealthy situations

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You are absolutely right !! I’m very present as an aunt, I love all my nephews and my niece to pieces , I’m The Who spoil them etc . The only rule I don’t respect is the amount of presents I give them for Christmas and birthdays :rofl::rofl::rofl: but that is.
Your SIL is disrespectful to you and seems to not care about your daughters health, so you should step aside and cut her off, stop going to get house, if she wants to see her niece she can go to your house.
The next time she talks about taking her to Disneyland with out your permission tell her that you will call the police to her for kidnapping your daughter.

And your husband should be a father and be by your side

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You need to grow a set and stop letting others run you over…omfg it pathetic… you are obviously scared of the aunt and your husband…twhat are you scared of them yelling at you…who cares…yell back…no one tells you what to do …if you dont want to go over and visit you dont go if your guy wants to go he can go by himself…what a toxic pair…there would be no way in hell my 5 yesr old would be going to disneyland without me…5 is way to young anyways i went when i was 8…

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You need to stand your ground. You’re the mother. It’s your right to make decisions for your child and to poor your foot down.
If I were in your partners position I would’ve smashed the vape.

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What I don’t understand is why isn’t her dad not putting his foot down for her or you?

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You do what is best for you and your daughter!! And I must say I will be DAMNED if ANYONE tells me they are taking my daughter ANYWHERE whether I like it or not…over my cold dead body!

If you can’t stick up for yourself stick up for your daughter. She can’t do that herself and it’s your job to do that for her.
You need to tell them they can’t smoke around her and remove her if they do. Who cares if they roll their eyes. It’s your daughter’s health. And if your daughters father doesn’t stand up for her and support you then you need to break it off with him. As a parent he should be protecting his daughter.
As far as Disney, you need to tell Sue that your daughter will be going on a trip when you decide and you will be joining her whenever that happens until she is much older.

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Get therapy to stiffen your spine & practice standing up to hubs and SIL. Practice standing up for yourself and your daughter with your therapist. You already seem like a great advocate for your daughter, but difficult people require extraordinary skills. Being more outspoken will be a great skill to have in all aspects of your life.

Tell hubs if he wants to take his sister’s side over you and your daughter that he can go live with her and her vaping BF and leave the two of you alone. Sis sounds rude & hubs sounds spineless. 

Look into what a divorce would entail. You don’t have to go through with one, but have the info handy in case it comes to that. Always have your own money & be able to support yourself. That way you always have a choice.

I was a preemie & have had asthma my whole life, so I get where you’re coming from.

Stay away from toxic people. If she’s toxic to you she ain’t gonna change for you or your daughter. Be done with her and get your peace back.

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Wowww!!! :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: I’d start by telling “SUE” that when she has her OWN child, she can smoke whatever she wants around IT, she can take IT wherever she wants to… but this is YOUR CHILD! You birthed her, not SUE and not even your Husband or your Mom!!!

If something happens to her (God forbid) none of them will feel that guilt the way you will… for not standing up for her! They won’t… they’ll just say you’re overreacting!

Make it clear to SUE and her Brother :roll_eyes: how terrifying it was when she was born, needing assistance to be able to breathe on her own! Tell them that her health is YOUR responsibility and you will do whatever you see fit, to protect her. Tell them she has a compromised/diminished lung capacity and you will no longer allow ANYONE to put her at RISK.
She’s YOUR baby and Not Sue’s, so She will no longer be calling the shots, when it comes to your daughter, including when/where and IF she will be going ANYWHERE! If your husband doesn’t like it he can continue to go over there without you OR the baby!!
Sounds like Sue is a bully and your husband just goes along with her…. Probably been like that his whole childhood.
If they start getting upset or attitude while you are speaking your mind to them… just pick up Your baby and WALK OUT!!

They’ve been able to just do anything and not keep their word about protecting your daughter… so as long as you allow it to continue, they will never change.

You are an amazing mother, you obviously love her sooo much and only want what’s best for her… and right now, what she needs, is for you to be her voice of reason and stand up for her. You are strong enough to do it. It will definitely catch them off guard when you speak your mind… but stand firm, speak in a confident tone, (not soft spoken or timid) say what you need them to hear! Don’t apologize for protecting your child’s health!

You got this!! :muscle:
You can do it! :raised_hands:
We all have faith and confidence in you!!! :revolving_hearts:🫂

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She’s your child, you set the rules.

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Why are you taking your daughter into situations like this if it keeps happening?

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Not wrong, very disrespectful. Stand your ground. My child wouldn’t be going to disney at 5yrs without me. PERIOD.

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See you fighting the wrong person. U see the guy u lay next to every night. That’s the one u need to be mad at. Once the house gets hot and uncomfortable. Sue will know her place

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Just do what you want to do with your wee one, make no excuses nor enter into any discussion…and don’t feel guilty about making decisions that you do…You are the sensible one…p.s. people that roll their eyes don’t realise that this is the ultimate disrespect…All the best

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You dear should never feel bad or guilty for setting boundaries for you or your baby… you are her mother and maybe have a separate conversation with her dad he should respect how you feel mama hugs

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Stick up for your self and especially your daughter.
“Sue” sounds toxic and careless/selfish. If something happens to your daughter she won’t feel the guilt that you will.

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Tell her to step the hell off. It’s your child, not hers. If she wants to parade one around like it’s hers, she can have her own. It’s one thing to be a proud aunt and want to do things with family, it’s another thing to say xxx “weather you like it or not”. F no. Not sorry.

Get your man on your side first, alone. If he can’t stand up to her, then it’s pretty much game over. It shouldn’t be 2-1 against you. If he isn’t on your side about the health of your child, then he needs to go.

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I’d tell “Sue” she can fuck right off and if your child’s father can’t have your back he can fuck off too! Absolutely ridiculous!

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:point_down::point_down::point_down:

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Hey they’re just being dicks and stirring you. Some people are just obnoxious that way. You could buy a big ol cigar and just blow it in their faces and see if the message gets through. Or ask the twit does suicide run in your family seeing as vaping’s killing more people than smokes now and faster.

Why do you tolerate this mess?! Be ok with being the bad guy, especially if you’re your child’s only advocate. You can’t put your in law’s feelings over your child’s health. She acts the way she does because she has too much control. I would agree to meeting up in public places otherwise, that’s it. My child will not go anywhere when sick and I will shut her down at the mere suggestion. You have to be mom, your child’s health comes first. If you keep tolerating this your child may soon pick up her nasty attitude.

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You are the mom here. First land on your daughter’s father and find out why he isn’t concerned about your daughter’s lung condition. Tell him he had better get concerned because you’ll start wondering how he takes care of her when he has her. Then land on your man now. Tell him to get his sister off your back or else. You were looking for a relationship when you found this one, and you can look again, this time for someone who cares about your daughter’s health and doesn’t let their relatives treat you like dirt. Then look Sister Dearest in the eye and tell her that she has absolutely no rights to your daughter and you call the shots. If she doesn’t back off, you’ll back her off!

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O girl you are the Mum. Aunty Sue’s a dick. Why go there if she disrespects you? If you don’t want anyone vaping around your daughter when you’re at someone else’s home you have to manage that but in your own home you set the rules. The benefit if visiting her though is you can just get up and leave when you’vehad enough of her b.s. And BTW taking your daughter anywhere without your permission is kidnapping which I believe is illegal. You’re allowed to have boundaries. Remember You’re the Mum. Tbh she sounds Iike an insecure bully.

Why he not taking your side stand your ground do not give in. As for Disney land no its your kid you have the final say tell her its your. Daughter she has no say.

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This No Issue!
Your child!
Your raising this child is nobody else’s business.
If Dad isn’t settling his sisterand mother right, then he is 99% of the problem.
Mother please leave this drama out of your life!!
:muscle:t3:All your child needs is love​:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Please don’t allow your child to be anywhere this narc family.
FFS Sue and her mother are toxic!

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Didn’t even finish it all, girl you stick to your guns balls to daddy bowing down to anyone to keep their faces straight. You keep doing what your doing, your keeping your child safe, daddy and that women need putting in their places abusive controlling freaks… you got this stick to your guns keep protecting your child :heart::heart:

Nope cut the toxicity out of yours and daughters life…if partner whinges cut him out too

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Reading through your post again, I’m even more shocked!
The vaper has been told!
Ignorant sob!
Just as ignorant sis & grandma :woman_shrugging:t3:
T
Reads like a soap opera.
Sorry Mumma…
This is real life!
These people are messing with your mind.
I know some families live like a soap opera.
If someone’s not in trouble there’s another one causing it.

They get off on the judgement, gossip, control, narcissistic lifestyle.
Please get your child out of the picture with this mob.
Meet in the park with them for Easter or Christmas or whenever. Make it ‘nice’, quick and cheery.
Block them all on social media!
Yep! Tell them you are satisfied with your method of raising your child and just so busy with other things right now. Won’t be on FB much any more…
They can text you and you can choose not to see the texts.
If they give you a call.
Return the call at a time that suits you!
Be in charge of you and your child.
Be lovely to have playtime with cousins of course.
Stand your ground right now!
No need to be nasty.
Everyone is different.
Your other people need to know that.
Take care.
The most important people in the world are you and your child! :raised_hands:t3:

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I don’t vape around my child.
It has chemicals that are harmful. You’re doing the right thing. Keep standing you’re ground.

People are disrespectful.

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Wow sue grow the eff up put your foot down mumma wouldn’t care if sue or drew got sh***y with your decisions you make as her mum your her mum your thinking of her health and wellbeing don’t let anyone tell you different or make you feel bad for putting your child first I wouldn’t be letting them walk all over me and if they want to gang up shows how much of a pack of dogs they and stand your ground whether it means standing alone

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Cut her out. Absolutely not. My ex husbands sisters have never been so disrespectful towards me. Never.

And legally she can’t take your child to Disneyland without your permission. Thats called kidnapping if you have custody.

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Get a backbone and cut her out ,she is your child and what you say goes simple as that ,if your husband don’t like it either tell him to kick the road too,when it come to my children’s health and safety I don’t play that crap ,I cut my girls nana out from keeping them unsupervised period ASAP when she came home smelling of smoke just after the second time . As far as Disney,whether you like it or not ? No my kid wouldn’t be going period after that unless I was there 24/7 as well,no one is telling me what they are doing with my children.

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Why you going along with whatever they say when it comes to YOUR daughter she needs to reminding she’s YOURS not hers, the f**k she would be taking my daughter anywhere of already told her no and who does she think she is dictating to you about YOUR daughter, you need to stand up for yourself more

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Faark. Get her outta your life already. Tell her to stay in her lane

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Don’t be afraid to talk to them, in fact don’t talk with them, tell them point blank. It is YOUR a daughter and they WILL respect YOU sand YOUR daughters health issues. It’s not a debate, it’s a fact or they can roll their eyes or whatever they want, EXCEPT for disrespect you and your daughter. Sounds like you need to let the father know that if he doesn’t treat you with respect and is good to you and your daughter, that he can leave, heyyyy- he could live with his sister! This doesn’t have to be complicated. Say what you mean and then mean it, do not back down. Otherwise you may as well hand them your child.

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I’d tell Sue to funk off, who is she and did she birth your daughter or you, put your foot down, you are not a passive doormat for people to wipe their feet and rubbish on. Stand up and speak and mean it, tell her to her face. Assert your dominance you’re the queen of your household not Sue. Sue sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment and a pie to the face😆

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I don’t think ur wrong but if she does take over the 5th birthday make her pay for it all then

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She is entitled to nothing! She doesn’t make the rules regarding your daughter- YOU DO! She decides nothing!!

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Ugh I hate people like that…tell her to fuck off and plz try to stay away from her as much as possible…

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Who is her parent you or sue tell her to do one. My son was born premature has asthma so I kept him away from smokers in my family or they respected my wishes and wouldn’t smoke this woman is a right piece of work and just reading this I’m getting annoyed you need to cut her out you take your daught on holiday and what right does she have to tell you what do do. Say no if she don’t like it tough sh*t.

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If “ sue “ doesnt want to respect you and your husbands concern for your child then she shouldnt have the right to have your daughter over, if i was you id make her come visit by herself and if she brought her bf over id make him go outside to vape

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Ugh. If. She’s. Your. Husbands. Sister. Then. He. Should Tell. Her. If. It. Doesn’t. Stop. Their. Not. Welcome to come to. Your home. If I Did. Anything. Against. My. Sis. Inlaw. ! She’d. Bawl. Me. Out. And. Lay. Down. The. Law !
It’s. Your. House &. Especially. Your. Child. At. Risk.!! Tell. Them. To. Stop. Or. Don’t come back. Period

You are the mother and you are RIGHT. Now go be Assertive and stand your ground.

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Your a mother now so you need to grow up and act like one. It start with baby daddy and getting him in check with respecting you and making his family do the same. If you can get on here and say all this then you dam sure should be saying this to them. It’s your child and your responsibility as a mother to protect. They don’t own you or the baby. You call the shots and make them respect you or go on about your way if they don’t. If your stuck in a situation there are places that can help you get away from abusers like that. You are enabling the behavior by allowing it to continue.

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Sorry this is about to sound super harsh BUT Not wrong at all mama I’d be super pissed and definitely saying something. YOUR THE MOTHER NOT HER she can get the hell over it and remind her your the mom not her and if she don’t like it she doesn’t need to come around. And if your boyfriend or husband whoever he is doesn’t like it guess what he can leave too because you are the care taker and mother to your child and know what’s best for her.

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It’s not 2 against 1. It’s 1 against 1. You and dad. Aunt is irrelevant. And dad can fight for her also. You’re not the end all, be all for your kid. Dad has a say also.

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Your the parent…GOD GAVE YOU THE CHILD AND THE AUTHORITY OVER SAID CHILD…end of story!!! How about you stand up to ppl who bully you and your child bc your baby daddy and his “Sue” are jerking you around! Toughen up and lay down the law, if they don’t like it…bye bye

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Take a stand about this. Get legal advice
Soon before this situation escalates

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Sounds like neither your husband or his sister respect you at all. They both seem toxic. NO DO NOT LET IT GO! IT IS YOUR CHILD! I wouldn’t be letting her go anywhere without me especially someone who doesn’t want to be respectful when I’m around.

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I feel she is toxic to you and your daughter, it will only get worse as your child gets older, I can see this aunt trying to turn her against you by telling her it’s ok to do things you don’t let her do, etc. In my opinion I would not go visiting there until things change.

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She is the Aunt not the mother or the father…not her kid not her choice…if there is no respect there is no relationship. Sorry but another person doesnt make decisions for MY life. If the childs father doesnt have your back then you shouldnt be in a relationship with him either. If she us that sensitive with her lungs,who knows what would happen around “sue” if no one was watching.

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What’s this aunt Sue’s number or address, either or will do lmao tell her to fuck off and be done with it.

Why you even asking if you “should” be a strong mother is beyond me. If your man is going against you then sis he don’t give a damn about your feelings and fdb auntie. That’s YOUR child. Whatever u want for YOUR child is choice only. You need to be tough, stand your ground make them respect you.

You become Mama Bear! You are your daughters advocate for her health! How would auntie feel if she ended up in hospital for her stupidity! You do what is right for your baby! Sometimes it’s better to not go to family functions and tell them to F- off

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Where is your mama bear instinct?

Find your roar! Tell her to sit down and stfu. I’m not even joking. YOUR child is your priority, not your SIL liking you. “Sue” walks all over you because you allow it. Find your voice and speak up. Doesn’t matter if your spouse likes it or not. Your job as a parent is to protect your child. If he doesn’t like that, then maybe it’s time to throw the whole family away!

My sister is a “Sue” Keep your Baby away from “sue” Fight the Good Fight girl. You are the Mom and don’t let ANYONE tell you what to do with regards to your daughter. If you have to, tell the family to eff off, do it, and don’t feel bad about it. Don’t cave when they gang up on you. I had to completely sever ties with my sister because she has no respect for anyone especially me and I don’t give 2 sh*t$ about it. If she can’t respect your wishes and rules then she has no contact with your daughter…PERIOD!!

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This is usually not my response to these post buuuut throw the dude away. You two are the parents not his sister. He obviously doesn’t respect you.

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What does it matter how someone else thinks about you. Are they paying your rent. Nope. So who cares about their opinion. Move on.

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It would be a cold day in hell before I let one of my children around someone like her. Your the Mom and if hubby doesn’t have your back,he can hit the road too …Child and Mom comes first.

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Get mean. When she tries to over power your authority, say loudly “who is the mother.” And if she keeps it up, cut her off. And tell your daughter’s father that is where you are, and if you don’t have his support, he can kick rocks too.

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You are the mother! There is no fighting! You have the say so!

I can’t believe you’ve ask this :thinking:This is YOUR daughter NOT hers and if she can’t show respect then your daughter should not even be around her or your husband if he sometimes acts like his sister. They seem to feel that you are unreasonable concerning your daughters illness’s ARE YOU? If so, calm it down a little, if not, then don’t allow for this to be how things are.

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Can’t 2 play that game?

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You are not wrong. You are her mother and anything you say goes. Auntie can butt out. And her thoughtless BF too. It sounds like you need to be very careful around your child’s lungs. It won’t hurt one single bit for people to keep their smoking away from her. I wouldn’t let her take her anywhere.

both Sue and Husband are a b$tch. never ever compromise your maternal instinct. you are her mother and her safety. you do you and make no apology at all. kick Sue and Husband to the curb.

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So first off, do not apologize for protecting your daughter. Ever. I don’t care if you have to make a scene, but make sure you fully explain that you are trying to protect your daughters lungs since they are weak and they have not respected her health so far. Second, tell your husband to stop being a little boy and to stand up for his family. Third, I would tell Sue that if she thinks she has any deciding matter in where your daughter goes, she is surely mistaken. I would laugh in her face. She does not get to tell you what to do with your child. Your daughter is not an accessory, but she is being treated as such. If nice doesn’t work, tell her to stfu in front of everyone and leave. I’m not trying to upset you, but you have got to get mean for your daughters sake. Do not let people walk all over you, it matters more than you think.

“wnning”, what the hell is that, this is NOT a game momma. You need to do what is right for your daughter first and then yourself, If the people around you can not respect your wishes for your daughters health, then you need to leave them at the curb and move on. And I would be damned and go to hell if “sue” was going to tell me that she was taking my daughter anyplace, not with the disrespect she is showing

Enlist the help of your pediatrician. Caring for the after-effects of premature birth are no joke and your daughter could very have lung issues her entire life. Alternatively, she could grow up and be perfectly healthy with no lasting effects. Time will tell. The problem with preemies is that frequently they “look fine” on the outside, so people who don’t live with them have no idea as to the seriousness of their health issues.

So far as “Aunt Sue” is concerned, no, she doesn’t get to decide that she’s taking your daughter to Disneyland with or without your permission. Although 5 is generally a perfect age for kids to attend for the first time. That call is best left up to the parents of the child. It is something that you and your daughter’s dad to decide.

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I agree with DESIRIEE.THE RULE SHOULD NO SMOKING OR VAPING IN MY HOUSE .

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Why on earth would u want ur child to have a relationship with this woman??? Extended family can be great but it can also be very toxic…

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Throw the whole family away. If they don’t get that your child is just that and doesn’t need to be around all that smoke they don’t need to be around the baby. I wouldn’t go over there until they can respect you and your child. YOU DONT OWE THEM TIME WITH YOUR CHILD. Quit being a door mat and protect yourself and your child. I know easier said that done but your child is depending on you, I know you know that. Best of luck

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Take ur daughter and get away from those toxic ppl including the baby’s father

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This is not about winning, or who sides with who. Your feelings about what is right concerning your child, the disrespect and attitude around you, pertaining to both you and your child need to be addressed. As such, this is more about you being heard and respected as the parent. Start with her father. Don’t talk to them together. Talk to them separately. Then there’s no ganging up. It also all depends on the way you approach this conversation. Be honest but not bossy or overbearing. But be firm. This is a balancing act, and remember, you’ll catch more flies with honey. So be respectful and polite, but firm in your conversations. Then make a decision and further actions, if neccessary, based on how it goes.

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Listen, you are not wrong! Never cave when it comes to your children!!! I can’t believe that you’re husband isn’t as protective of his daughter. My son has asthma. Smoking was never allowed in my house. He’s 26, lives on his own, and there’s still No smoking or vaping in my home. Stick to your guns! If you’re sister-n-law can’t abide by the rules, stay the hell home. As for your husband, I’ve got nothing.

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This is YOUR baby. If no one else watches out for her you do. You are her mother. What you say goes. Don’t let people bully you into doing anything unsafe for your child. If the baby’s best interest is not in her heart then she don’t matter. Break off that toxic relationship and any of the others that feel the same. Take care of that baby and yourself. You owe them nothing.

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