My daughters friend is constantly making things up: Advice?

My kids are finally at the ages where they’re having play dates and sleepovers which I couldn’t wait for. I have a daughter who’s 8, son who’s about to turn 7. issues I’m having with each: 1.) daughter has a friend in our apt complex and they’ve had two sleepovers and lots of play dates all at my house. This friend is so sweet but lies constantly, makes up crazy stories, and constantly brings small objects like marbles over and I have a 6 month old. She doesn’t take her shoes off at door like I’ve asked her and explained why etc. i love having her around over all but I’m tired of the lying and don’t want my kids picking up on that! Her mom is a very free spirit and she’s an only child. When we’ve talked about the lying her mom says “she’s so silly” and brushes everything off. Another big problem is the friend constantly wants to go home “to get something or will lie and say she was supposed to feed her cat or something. I don’t want the back and forth. Especially because no one’s home at her apt and I don’t want them all going there and back crossing the parking lot alone etc. these are all things she’s normally allowed to do. If she wasn’t coming to my place she’d be home alone while her moms at work (not my business). 2.) my son also has his best friend in the apt complex and they just had their first play date. His parents are split up like my sons (new baby is with my current bf) anyways the boys dad lives in the complex so I had to reach out to him to plan a play date. The friends dad has been texting a lot and I’ll admit I wouldn’t like it if it was my bfs child’s friends single mom. I don’t know how to deal with these two things My bf wanted to read our messages and I was honestly nervous. He didn’t end up reading them but I just feel like I’m being too friendly or maybe this guy thinks I’m single

74 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughters friend is constantly making things up: Advice?

You make the rules for your home. If the little girl doesn’t follow them then she goes home. If your just texting the other dad about play dates why is your BF questioning your loyalty? Why doesn’t he trust you?

14 Likes

Very kindly n sweetly tell the girl that your number 1 rule is no lying in your house. That the house rules are 4 everyone to follow. Another house rule is everyone must remove their shoes at the door.

13 Likes

If the little girl can’t follow your rules than it’s on you to set boundaries and say no. And um… those text messages sound like they need to stop. if sharing your messages with your boyfriend makes you nervous you obviously know your not doing the right thing.

37 Likes

I’d let the girl and her mother know that lying is not going to be tolerated and come up with a plan to nip it now. Explain that you love having her over but do not want her to constantly lie in your home. Have your boyfriend and the boy’s father meet as well. :woman_shrugging:t2: honestly, I’d want to meet both adults before allowing my child in your home. Is that not a normal thing??

13 Likes

I think the issue everyone is missing is that there is a child left alone at home if she wasn’t in this lady’s house. How old is this child? Is she too young to be left at home?
There seems to be a lot more than just a child making up stuff for no reason. There has to be a reason behind it.
As for the man texting you just tell him out straight that his texts make you uncomfortable and your bf doesn’t find it appropriate

20 Likes

First off if a child is being left home alone while mother works it is your business and it’s against the law at that age. I would definitely be telling someone. That’s not right and anything could happen to her. The rest is kids stuff and your rules should be enforced.

6 Likes

Invite the dad and son over to meet you and your boyfriend - for dinner or dessert. That would probably help with the awkwardness. As for the eight year old girl whose mom is a free spirit, that’s more challenging. If the mom is blowing off your concerns, all you can do is tell the girl something like, “These are the rules at my house. If you can’t follow them, you’ll have to go home and we’ll try again another day.” The fact that the mom is okay with illegally leaving such a young child home alone is also very troubling.

11 Likes

Um… why would you be nervous about him reading those messages? That’s a little sus tbh

22 Likes

You literally just described a child using their imagination to be creative and labeled it as lying :woozy_face:

Do everyone in the complex a favor and just stay to yourselves.

29 Likes

Is one of the things this little girl “constantly lies about” the fact that you’re talking inappropriately to her daddy :eyes::sweat_smile: asking for a friend

4 Likes

Before yall start in on this mother is wrong and breaking the law for leaving her child alone … ya may wanna check the state laws.
Fact: There are only 14 states that do not allow for children to be left alone, even as young as age 6.

While it may not be something you agree with or would do, in most circumstances, and states, she is not breaking any laws by leaving her child unattended while she works …

10 Likes

First, that child home alone is illegal and you knowing about it makes you responsible as well as the mother. As for lying and not listening, I would tell the girl these are my rules at my house, she follows them or isn’t allowed over. What kind of things does she lie about? It could mostly be her imagination from boredom and being alone so she made up things for fun or imaginary friends. For the texts, why would you be nervous if there is nothing going on? If it’s just about play dates then it’s harmless but you being nervous shows you’re hiding something and shouldn’t continue texting the guy then.

4 Likes

My 7yr is best friends with a little boy and I communicate with both his mom & dad…when it’s just his dad I speak to there’s nothing weird about it and both our SO could read it. Sooooo why are you nervous about it? That’s weird to me. As for the girl, I hate to say it but that’s unacceptable behavior for my house and she wouldn’t be friends with her. Idgaf.

5 Likes

As far as the sons friends dad. If you’re nervous about letting your BF read your texts, you’re texting something you shouldn’t.

15 Likes

As far as your daughter’s friend… make it very clear that she isn’t to bring her own toys over. Tell her you don’t want to be responsible if something gets lost or broken. Also meet her at the door and insist she slip her shoes off. Tell her everyone else does, even visiting grown ups. Tell her also, when she comes over, she’s to hang out there till she’s done playing for the day. No running back and forth across the parking lot because your kids aren’t allowed to do that in case a car comes in too fast and might hit them. Also, no one should be visiting her house when her mom isn’t there. As far as the situation with your son’s friend’s father, try to make it a point to introduce him to your boyfriend. Approach it as though you thought he would like to be familiar with the people where his son is visiting. Just keep it pleasant and neighborly. Maybe introduce him to the baby as well. That way, if he got the wrong impression, you will gently set him straight.

7 Likes

There has to be more to this whole story. What kind of “lies”? How do you know she’s lying? it sounds like you barely know the mom and daughter to know anything about their lives and what’s the truth vs what you think is a small child lying…as far as the shoes goes, kids need to be reminded ALL the time of the rules. It’s not that big a deal. Looks like your finding excuses to not have the child come play. Lastly if your nervous of your BF looking at text messages between you and a parent of a child your son plays with that is SUS! Girl something is not right and I don’t think it’s these little kids…

14 Likes

If you didn’t tell that boys daddy that you are in a relationship and the conversations weren’t just about play dates well…. You should be nervous. Just remind the girl of the rules… pretty easy. Guess what, you’ll have to remind every child of rules outside of their own home, especially if her mother is free spirited. I’d focus more on what I was doing rather than the children at this point.

4 Likes

How do you know the kid is “lying” nothing you described indicated the kid was lying… Maybe you just dont like the kid :thinking: and shes a child ,shes gunna forget weird rules like leave your shoes at the door. Its not something she practices at home.

3 Likes

First, there weren’t any examples of specifics that the daughters friend “lies” about. To me it sounds like normal imagination stuff. I’d be a little weary about them having to cross a parking lot to go to the friends apartment but that’s only because I’m paranoid about the kids getting kidnapped. With the sons friends dad, why is texting over the kids an issue? I wouldn’t have any problem if my partner was communicating with a single parent of the opposite sex about the kids. If you’re nervous about your boyfriend reading them then you know you’ve crossed a line somewhere flirting and you should probably only talk about the kids. It sounds like somewhere along the line, you gave off the impression you were available. I’m sure he knows you have a boyfriend. if the kids are best friends it’s probably been brought up before cause kids tend to talk about their parents boyfriends or girlfriends. My daughter talked about her dads girlfriend all the time.

Depending on the “lies”, better yet, what do you mean by “lies”?? If you mean white lies and little fibs, I’d pick your battles on that but let her know even little white lies can come back to haunt you. If these are big lies (ex: she said she’s going into mom’s house to get something but she’s really going somewhere else totally different), then that’s a concern. As for the texting with this single father … unless you got something to hide, there isn’t anything to be nervous about. BUT, if current boyfriend is somehow some insecure asshole, then I can understand that being a concern but also tell him in advance you are just trying to be nice. Either current boyfriend is insecure or you have something to hide.

My son is nearly 10, and I still have to remind him shoes OFF…every single day…every single time…and he replies “oh right! I forgot!” Lol
So that part is normal.
Same with the “lying”(creative imagination😉)…I’ve heard all about bomb threats and a teacher getting jumped by a grizzly bear IN the school and how the swat team had to come and fight the bear with their BARE HANDS…I listen…then I laugh and tell him "I looooooove your story! It’s so creative! But how about you tell me how your day REALLY went now?"lol
He’ll laugh, ask me how I knew it was a story(ummm…donno​:person_shrugging::innocent::joy:) and then he’ll tell me the real day events.
If Im asking a specific question and I know he’s actually lying, I just tell him “wanna try again?” And he KNOWS I know it’s not the truth and he’ll tell me the truth.
Kids are testing boundries. So it’s all normal. They wanna see what they can get away with.

My only concern would be how old is she,if she’s alone…

Also, if youre worried about showing your man your messages…you KNOW it’s been inappropriate…cuz I talk to males friends, and friends of kids dads…but my husband can grab my phone at ANY time, no worries. Cuz there is NOTHING in my convos that would cause concern. Not all of them know my husband either… some probably assume I’m single to…even had a few try to flirt…and I shut it down quick. It’s call boundries…you don’t seem to have those, if your concerned how your man might react if you show him your messages…
And if the other dude is texting often…why you replying often? Dude would get the hint, if you weren’t so quick to reply back… mixed signals…you gotta get those straightened out…

8 Likes

You’re the adult, it’s your home. No, child, you can’t come in if you have small objects, you can’t come in if you don’t take your shoes off, and if she persists she gets sent home. Also her being so young and home alone is illegal, you know it so it is your business. As for the other kids father- again you’re an adult you dictate what you say to people, and what you allow them to say to you. Without knowing what was said nobody can really give more detail but if you’re nervous about your bf reading your messages there’s a problem. I’m a mom of 4 kids, I’ve communicated with moms, dad’s, grandparents, babysitters, aunt’s, uncle’s…of their friends and never in 20 years have I had a conversation with any of them that would have been a problem if anybody was in a relationship at the time.

1 Like

Huh? There’s gotta be more to the story. Why are you getting nervous having your bf look at the messages? If you’re getting nervous it means you’re telling him stuff you shouldn’t be :woozy_face: how do you know the little girl is lying to? There has to be more to the story. It doesn’t add up.

3 Likes

The lying is likely just her wanting attention from anyone. You may not be able to really address it with the friend but speak to your kids after she is over. Talk about Tall tales and how telling stories can lead to problems. Maybe get a few library books with morals about how lies can hurt. Also tell them to just keep that convo between you and them so they don’t hurt her feelings. Continually remind them all shoes come off as soon as they come in. Maybe have a sm reward to reinforce good behavior in all the kids. Tell the lil girl while she is in your care she can’t go back home or she can’t come over again. She must stay in your apt and stop back & forth shenanigans. Speak to the mom again to reiterate that if child is with you, no more running around. If they choose not to listen, cool off with play dates. Take any sm toys that come in your home and put them up until she goes home. You are the Adult. This is your home, reinforce your rules for safety. Also I think you do need to set up a time so the other boy’s das sees you with your boyfriend or start dropping in mentions of your boyfriend in text if a meet up is not possible due to work schedules etc. And lastly, the lil girl being alone during her mom work day is not fine. Maybe yrs ago when the world was safer that would have been ok but too much bad stuff goes on, especially in an apartment community where there are a lot of people and possible strangers. I would try to find another family member of the girl or even an older teen to hang out with her if she can’t. I mean you are basically offering free sitting and you need to address that with the mom, how for your kids safety you don’t want them running in parking lots and going to empty apartments. One of them could get a hair brained idea to cook or who knows and cause a dangerous situation. It isn’t an easy situation to be in but you need to reinforce your rules to keep Your kids safe!

1 Like

if it was me i would distance my daughter from the other girl for a while , get her making other friends etc . tell the mum your not doing sleep overs atm.
i would make it so clear to the little girl that lying is not acceptable and call her out when she lies.
sounds like she has way to much freedom and lying is her way of getting that freedom while she is in your house.
if she wants ro visit she needs to follow your rules , as for the messages to this father.
send him a message with ur husbands number included let him know your husbands number in case of an emergency and i would cut contact immediately.
there doesn’t need to be txts between you other then organising the play date.
if ur feeling nervous about the txt ask ur self why u will already know the answer

The little girl you stop her staying at yours and tell mum why if she don’t like it tough fucking shit as for the boyfriend constantly questioning you get him to fuck this guy that thinks your single set him straight rather than being a doormat it’s not rocket science

Make it clear to your daughter’s friend that when she’s coming over to play for the day, that you’re not going to allow her to keep going back and forth. Remind her when she gets there, that if she forgot anything or needs to feed her cat, that now would be the time to take care of it. As for the shoe issue, just remind her. Maybe she is uncomfortable without shoes on. Some people prefer to wear them. In that case, maybe have her bring slippers to wear. Also, what you might consider lies, may just be her using her imagination.

As for your son’s, friend’s dad, make it clear to him that you’re in a relationship. Keep the communication minimal and strictly about the kids.

I’m more concerned that you’re nervous to show your boyfriend the texts between you and a single man than I am about the child.
I would shut down the communication quickly and maybe see if your boyfriend would like to be the one to setup the play dates with him.

As for the child, you will have to remind her of the rules because, well, she’s a child. If she brings toys, I would have her put them in a basket as soon as she walks in the door and put them away until she leaves, especially since the toys she is bringing could be dangerous if the baby got ahold of them. Remember, you are the adult and you have to enforce the rules. She is a child and she has to respect them if she wants to come play at your house.

3 Likes

All I can say is if you’re nervous about the texts being read you’re hiding something.

5 Likes

If these were the biggest worry you have you are so fortunate. You are reading too much into most of these things.

2 Likes
  1. Get over your issue with the single dad.
  2. Stop letting the liar over and tell both her and her mom know why. Whether you like her lying or not is a irrelevant . By you allowing her to keep coming over, is giving her permission and encouraging her to continue the lying. You’re enabling her just as much as her mom is. With the added bonus of showing your kids there’s no consequences for that behavior in your home.
4 Likes

With the neighbor girl, perhaps word it with real event or imagination. Perhaps it’s more about imagination than it is lying. That may help with the distinguishing.

Your house, your rules. If they will not adhere to them, tell them to leave!!!

Why are you nervous about showing your partner the text messages? That’s the main issue sometimes kids lie to get attention or maybe the little girl feels like it’s the truth and tells you that you will never know. Second cut all contact with the single dad and let your partner deal with the play date plans your nervous about some thing. Definitely feel like there is more to the story

Other children that come into my home get treated just as mine. I would make her go back and remove her shoes at the door, remind her we don’t lie in my home or make up stories and if you want to play then you stay here and you don’t go back and fourth. Those are the rules :woman_shrugging:

When it comes to the sons dad. Let your man read the messages and get his opinion on if they are to friendly and what he thinks is a good idea to respond to the dad.

Sound sounds petty if you ask me. Kids tell little white lies. I would speak with the little girl about coming in and out and it has to be one way or the other. And not to bring little toys over. Speak with her mother about that.

And what are you hiding with the single dad? Why are you nervous. That’s weird in itself

1 Like

The little girl friend stays home alone and she’s about 8? I would call child protective services. That’s 100% unsafe on so many levels.

I’am making over $153 an hour working online with 2 kids at home. I never thought I’d be able to do it but my best friend earns over $ 17494 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The potential with this is endless

Chk This—>> https://DollarBoost60.pages.dev/

1 Like

8 and 7 sleepovers ??? That’s way too young
I didnt have a sleepover until I was like 16

2 Likes

With the girl I would say if she isn’t gonna follow the rules she isn’t welcome. You need all your kids safe and she doesn’t need to be cramping it up. Also, I’m hoping that little girl isn’t 8 left home alone because that is way too young and I feel like it would be important you share your concern over that. And with the dad thing, my sons friend is a single dad and we message each other to talk about play dates and my husband is always welcome to read what I say and if my husband feels uncomfortable-he won’t but if he did he would say something. I would say keep it to the point and if you think he’s flirting mention your bf somehow like oh yes my bf is home with the boys now kinda thing and if he acts inappropriate to you then cut things off. My children won’t hang out with anyone who doesn’t respect me or my family and that’s that

1 Like

If you’re shifty about messages you’re hiding something. And sounds like you’re allowing him to think your single and maybe like the attention.
The girl, her life sounds disruptive the lies probably are for attention.
Just keep to your rules and keep enforcing them.

1 Like

Uh, well your house your rules. If she cant follow them then she cant come over. With the lying, maybe its imagination rather than lying? I would tell her we dont tell untrue stories and say they are real and we dont lie to get what we want here. You need something from home, you need to bring it before you come over.

As for the texting your sons friends father, if you ae worried, then you did something you shouldn’t have… Make it clear you arent single and dont be overly friendly. If you dont have anything to hide there should be no reason for you not wanting your so to see them

All children who come to our house are expected to follow the rules here. If they don’t, they aren’t generally invited back.
I have never written one text message, ever, to any father of my children’s friends that I would be even remotely concerned about showing my husband.
Something is wrong there. Either the messages are somewhat inappropriate or current boyfriend has jealousy issues…

1 Like

After leaving my previous job 12 months ago, i’ve had some good luck to learn about this website which was a life-saver for me… They offer jobs for which people can work online from their house. My latest paycheck after working for them for 2 months was for $16348… Amazing thing about is that the only thing required is simple typing skills and access to internet…

Read all about it here… https://SuperIncome1094.pages.dev/

1 Like

About the guy… he could just be glad to have another parent to talk to. About the little girl, if she wants to go home, tell her that if she leaves… she can’t come back (today)??? She is a lonely child and is seeking attention. Try to gently guide her…

Depending on how personal the texts are maybe he’s just an active parent like yourself. Make it clear your in a relationship. Your daughters friend sounds like she’s seeking attention and approval. Again, be consistent. As soon as the door opens tell her to remove her shoes. If she wants to come over set the ground rules and let her know she’s going nowhere until it’s time to do so. Let her know she can’t come unless she follows the rules

I’m so happy I can at least afford to pay bills and also take good care of my family. All thanks to you Mr. Joshua Bunker that helped me a lot on my crypto trading account, I reinvested and to my greatest surprise I got my profit x8 without additional fees I’m grateful indeed. Her investment platform accomplish my dreams without stress and I got more than what I was supposed to have as my profit. For those of you finding it difficult in trading you can contact them I believe they will be of great help

I noticed a crowd of people giving thanks to Mr. Bunker for helping them. So I decided to give him a try and to my greatest surprise my first two weeks of trading was very successful, I made a very responsible amount that I can’t even get from my current job, I guess someone might need his help as well, I can’t stop sharing his good works :pray::pray:Click on the link to contact him, :point_down::point_down: :point_down:

I wonder why people turns their eyes off Bitcoins and crypto currency trading knowing fully well they’re the faith and future of the world. Bitcoin and crypto currency trading are one of the most profitable online business I have ever gotten myself into, I am happy i made the right decision to invest with, Mr. Joshua Bunker who help me Boost my financial status… My appreciation and gratitude to Sir. Bunker for making me who I’m today, I can say I’m leaving my dream life… I’m happy I invested under the right platform… May God continue to bless you Joshua.0 I’m so grateful​:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

Don’t be among the multitude that gave up so easily because of rumor and bad experience. know ur worth and strive for the best. invest with Mr. Joshua Bunker and get your profit without hindrance or unnecessary fees, i just wanna let you know there is still competent mining expert. Bitcoin has been making people Rich and God bless Sir. Joshua for this amazing opportunity​:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

Good work deserves recommendation, knowing where to invest, what to invest in, who to trust and how to make profit can be very difficult as a beginner, but when you work with the right people, the road to financial freedom becomes a lot easier. I proudly recommend whosever is looking forward to join crypto should trade with Mr. Joshua Bunker and his profitable platform to yield the best result. You can contact him with the link tag below