Stick to the court order. Let him know he can take them on his court appointed day for the court appointed time and if he can’t make that happen its his loss.
The oldest sees whts goin on no worries soon they’re not gonna want to go with him for anything patience
Take the high road, and be thankful their exposure to this POS is limited. They will continue to form their own opinions and will carry them through to their own adulthood.
Signed,
Been there (I was one of those kids)
See if the courts will revoke all his rights then since he’s not a fit father or even present 1/2 the time. Let the big baby cry over the loss and focus on u n the boys. Let the loser get over it and ignore him like he ignored u n the kids.
I realized my sons dad would be this way. He would come and go every 3 months see him for a day and be gone. Blame me for why he never saw him after a year of the bs I told him no more. Since he couldn’t be consistent I didn’t want him around at all. No child deserves the feeling of “why doesn’t daddy show up” or “why doesn’t he love me” and my baby is only 2. So when questions start happening I’ll tell him his dad just loves differently. And that he has a heavenly father “God” that will always be there for him. As for the child support the baby daddy is already almost 2k behind and is a commercial fisherman so even though the asshole makes 1k a trip and his child support is 300 a month I can’t do anything about it because there is no paper trail. 
Girl put his a*s back on child support and let him drown in it. Only reason he should have ever been taken off was to terminate his rights. Hes a pos let him suffer with the money build up
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Honestly at this point you could go back to court and just have visitations cut off especially if you have the proof that he never even tries besides six months here and there 
everyone on here is saying screw that keep going for child support but honestly I see your point and of you can take care if your children on your own with the money you make I say do what is best gonna benefit you and your children. No sense in playing childish games anymore. Totally understand your frustration.
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Talk to your boys individually about how they feel about him. Then go to court and terminate his parental rights. Tell him that when he has grown up and ready to be consistent and treat the boys equally, you and he will discuss him being in their lives, if they agree, but he will no longer be obligated to do so. Show documentation of his irregular visitation, inconsistencies and favoritism. Keep dates and be as detailed as possible in your notes. I pray you get a wonderful husband and a great role model and dad for your kids.
Cut him off. He is doing more harm than good at this point. Those are your babies. If they need therapy so be it but that man wouldn’t be around my kids. He isn’t even a part time dad geez.
I was married to my ex for 16 years and we have five children, I wish I were exaggerating when I say he only wants to see two of the children and actually went to court to sue me for custody of just those two children because the other three have medical conditions, the twins are both autistic and the eldest has a heart condition, he doesn’t want them at all, spends almost no time with them and complains when he does, it’s the most got wrenching thing I have ever had to deal with.
Cut him out of their life completely… like I just went through this same thing and it’s the best shit I ever did… literally. Just stop it’s doing more damage to your kids than you realize. I tried the oh I want my kids father to be involved in their life thing as well but I’ve come to the realization that you can’t make somebody be a parent unfortunately and neither can The court.
Tell him to F off and just squash your goals as a 3 person family.
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I’d cut him out and just be busy every time he asks to see them. At this point he’s inconsistent and it’s hurting the kids. They don’t deserve that.
I’ve never gone to court every 3 weeks for child support.
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Child support isn’t for you, it’s for your kids. If YOU don’t need it, fine. But you shouldn’t keep your kids from child support.
Why do women keep having kids with these clowns and then complain when they don’t want to be involved?
One i would have never stopped child support. 2 leave it be. You are following the visits, making the effort. Your kids see that.
Cut him off completely.
Cut him off right fast !!!
Cut him out until he gets it. They haven’t seen him since june anyways. Cut that toxic POS out!!!
I’m not sure what you mean with having to keep going back to court over CS. They don’t bring you back unless you file. I’d be letting it rack up. That way if he files taxes it will go right to you. As stated above for the next 6 months keto track of EVERYTHING. Every text, phone call, any contact!! Double check with your state on how long they consider it for abandonment. After that time stop responding & wait for him to take you to court. I doubt he will. Don’t let him hurt your children anymore. Good luck!
That dude is a loser dead beat
Then. Shut him off. The kids don’t seem to care anymore, so why force them? He’s only using.
Keep it as is. The boys see all
If you have all the rights, cut him off. He’s pathetic. More damage than good for your littles.
Stop being lazy and take his bum ass back to court
Oh HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL NO. I’m so sorry you and your boys are going thru this. Sending you lots of hugs
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex favors one of our kids, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
Stop trying, don’t put in the effort that he should be doing. I know it sucks and you hate seeing your boys hurt but in the end the inconsistencies will hurt them worse I promise. Mine are now teens and if I could change one thing it would be not to push them on him so hard because at the end of it all they realize who he really is and there’s nothing you can do that will change that. I hope this doesn’t come off as harsh.
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This is awful. I honestly wouldnt allow their dad to see them at all. It’s doing more harm than good. And clearly his children arent a priority to him.
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it’s hard to believe there are parents who actually favor their own kids 
Babe I have no advice bc this is just terrible. Praying for you and your kids! Hopefully everything turns out good in your favor 
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I delt with this for many years, my ex favored our youngest and my oldest always knew, it was blatant. Nothing I could really do other than do my best to comfort him and show him love, luckily he and his stepdad happen to have a lot in common and get along great. Fast forward 8 years my son now nearly 20 hasn’t seen or contacted his dad in almost a year, my 16yo still has a relationship with him. My ex is looking at some pretty substantial jail time and asked the boys to write a letter to help him with court…my oldest told him no.
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You got a long way yet to raise these kids and like it or not he would be made to pay something towards their support if you take it to court with the addition of letting Dept of Child Support Services handle the details as a case number ; including keeping up with any arrearage ( sp) he likely owes. Health insurance cost should be half his responsibility too…Get a good support network to get this initially all set up . Then ignore the rest and let the chips fall where they may. The kids old enuff to form their own feelings on more than ya realize and that’s ok. But fair is fair and it takes more than 1 income to raise kids. Sincerely good luck on this situation!!
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I feel like the situation can be very complicated if you don’t know all the facts. My mother was like that when I was growing up and my dad struggled on if he should continue to let me have a relationship with her which he did because she’s my mother and she helped create me. I know some parents can be very shitty I say that from personal experience but at the end of the day when my dad did try and keep me from having a relationship with my mom all I did was build up resentment towards him. Children are resilient and they Will see what’s going on around them they’re not as dumb as most people think they will get their own opinion of their father and I think it’s best for them to decide whether or not to continue that relationship. If there’s no court order in effect then you technically don’t have to give visitation but just keep in mind that there’s a possibility later on of resentment for holding out on that relationship. I feel like my dad made the best decision by allowing me to see what was going on and then to make my own decision whether I wanted to continue the relationship or not with my mother. Currently I have a long distance relationship with my mother and my father is deceased I know this is a challenging subject to weigh your odds on even if they are shitty parents kids need both
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If he’s not following the court ordered visitation you should take him back to court to have his visitation/parenting time pulled altogether. While no one likes going to court, denying him access to the children can have you in trouble as long as the order remains in effect.
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Even if you have sole legal custody they will give the father reasonable visitation, that’s how it was with me an my two boys, you can’t make the father spend time with his kids just keep doing The best that you can, they grow up see for themselves. Its frustrating I know, my boys are now 33, 43 I have a great relationship with them, they don’t with their father.
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Take it through court and then when he doesn’t show up for visits fight for sole custody and father has no access that way courts can see u have gave him plenty of chances, u can never be accused of not allowing him in their life and the boys can be free of him when he loses access. I would keep up with the C/s so that of/when he gets a job they can start docking his pay.
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Ignore his calls and dont respond to his text. The kids are hurt more by seeing him like that anyway.
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Tell him to basically celebrate when it is his day. If he can’t handle it take you to court. Then let the court get on him about child support
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Why are you allowing it? I’m sorry but it sounds like you support him by allowing the behavior to continue. I would have fought for sole custody and stopped visitations. You’re kids shouldn’t learn to hate each other due to how their dad treats them.
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Do not push him to see his kids. Block him every way possible, go back to court and get full physical custody. Exsplain it to the judge he is doing more harm than good to them. Document everything.
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Keep a record and go to court! Make the time, i know it sucks but that’s just what you have to do if hes not interested in being a parent then he doesn’t need to be one.
Do not force him to be a Dad. As they get older they will understand who was there for them.
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Court every 3 weeks??? Wow! I put cs on my ex bd and we’ve only had to go to court 2x in 13 years…hes over 55k behind in support. Personally I’d rack his butt in cs!! Lessons ain’t learned easy…
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Cut him off from the boys completely if he dosent change
his tune and treat both boys the same. To hard on the boys. Find a better role model. Good luck.
I wouldn’t allow visits anymore that inconstancy and clear neglect can cause more damage and hurt in those kids .
Oof. Sounds like my ex husband. My ex is a DIAGNOSED narcissist. I eventually got sole custody and stopped trying to facilitate visitation. Fact is, my ex isn’t capable of being a good father. Doesn’t matter how hard I tried to coparent. Doesn’t matter how bad our son wanted a dad. The man just can’t. Continuously putting our son in that situation was damaging.
Having both parents is ideal, but there comes a point where one good parent is better than one good parent and an abuser. While he might not be physically abusing your boys, what you describe is definitely emotional abuse.
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My ex is like this. He favors my son who is 10 over my daughter who is 8. He’s a trash “dad” to both, but he makes a noticeable difference between the two. I have full custody and I don’t want his money…I honestly just want him completely out of the kids lives. They fortunately don’t mind. So thats my next goal! Good luck to you💜
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Many may disagree but this is a situation where I would not allow him to see my kids, like ever…I would dodge him at all costs.
As long as you have full custody cut his ass out of all your lives
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do what is best & the healthiest for your kids, They know what’s going on, I never spoke bad about my ex husband to our kids, They figured it out all on their own
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Giiirrrrlll why u even bother ! Fuck that dude !! Put him on cs n even if he dont pay it still accumulates so when he does something it will go to u! N i will keep the children from even being around him its yes loss !! Fuck him sounds like he a asshole anyway
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Stop allowing them to see him 
nothing wrong with it
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GET RID OF HIM. Sorry not sorry no one NEEDS a father like that. My son will not put up with my mistake for choosing a dumbass. Nope! Take it to court, get full custody and move on. Not worth it. Trust me
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I would cut all contact , been there
Honey, this male is a complete loser. You need to make it clear to him he can FUCK OFF, he isn’t needed, he is not a good influence on your boys. I recommend you find these sweet boys a substitute ‘dad’ as in a sports coach like a martial arts instructor. That POS doesnt deserve a moment of your kids or your time. I would not allow visits…if he cares that much he will petition the courts. I doubt this lousy scum bag would or could. Not one dime to this chiseling mfr. Not one thought, not one regret. Live your life with your boys and forget mr wonderful, cuz he aint.
What a dbag. I’m so sorry
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Honestly I think you should allow him that one hour each 4-6 months while the boys are still willing to see him. By the sounds of it they won’t be wanting to within a few years anyhow because they will grow and see what he truly is and chose for themselves. Stay proactive in your home and maybe offer therapy to your son if he starts showing signs of the favouritism affecting him. Keep being you
Keep doing what you are doing if they boys want to go for that hour let it be their choice. My son is 14 and he knows how his dad is he does not want to go with him anymore. We can only do our part.
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That poor kid!! This is just AWFUL! He can cause SERIOUS emotional problems that will follow him his entire life! This is a case of straight up NEGLECT! I WOULDNT LET HIM SEE EITHER ONE!! SPLIT A HAPPY MEAL AND KEPT THE MONEY!!?? HE IS A ROTTEN MEAN FATHER SELFISH FATHER! TELL HIM TO GO KICK ROCKS AND FAST!!! Poor DAVID:sleepy:
and your other son who witnessed all of his neglect! He to can be scarred!!! BUHBYEEEEEEEEE
I would try to get dad to sign all his rights away and let the kids decide if they want to see him or not. I wouldn’t let my children go with him unsupervised
bin the dosser off, fucks me off seeing understanding mums that just want a father figure in the kids life’s and the dads just treat it like it’s a toy they can pick up and drop whenever they like, if he doesn’t stick to the scheduled visitation hours, you stop him full stop, if he has that big of a problem and he loves the kids then he’ll fight for them but going by what you’ve explained, he’ll do nish.
Ask your children what they think and what they want to do…
Luckily they have a great Mum.
You don’t have a support enforcement there I’m in Washington state and we have a place where you just go sign up and they do all the work for you collecting your money and if the father don’t pay it just keeps adding up and then his child income tax gets kept every year he can’t renew his driver’s license if he’s behind on it so maybe you might want to check into that I don’t know what state you’re in but that’s the way Washington State works
Sorry, I got the that part where you mentioned your youngest was 7 and you’d been split up with you ex for 6years… maybe he doesn’t believe this is his kid, therefore no responsibility
Guys like this give good guys a bad rep. They are the “absent” father. When there’s good one out there begging to see their kids. I know it sucks. But he’s done nothing but hurt you, hurt your kids, & now still gets to live in your kind heart rent free. Time to evict him. When they are older they will decide. But right now you do your job and protect your babies. Sorry but not sorry. He did this to himself. & it’s been long enough!
Ps
Don’t ever force him to be a parent to the one he doesn’t care for. It can result in mental & physical abuse. & neglect. I’ve seen it first hand with the many brothers I had.
You keep him on cc child support
For any time hes not an ass you be civil and communicate. For all others you dont…your kids need the money and he can stay away bc he’s hurting them emotionally
Go back to court and take visitation💁 hes not a father. He mightve laid down and help make em but hes not a father.