I asked if he was coming he said no because he doesn’t want to get covid.
Conversations got heated because my children are not sick, have not been exposed, do not have covid, have no symptom. Then he starts to play the hero saying I’m a bad parent for not getting them tested on a regular basis and he will pick them up tomorrow to get them tested….
My question is… did he just forfeit his time and I can go agreed and say no to him getting them tomorrow? This is week after week and I have to live my life not wait around for when he finally feels free to get them.
Like is that legal to keep them or if he show up out of the blue at unknown time do I need to hand them over?
I’m in Michigan
My ex has not been showing for his visitation with the kids. So he failed to show again tonight. He is supposed to get them Sunday night- Wed morning. Does this mean he forfeited his time by not showing at his time?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex isn't showing for visitation - Mamas Uncut
I dunno. Check with the courts
I would definitely get in touch with a lawyer or your local family court and ask to speak with someone. If your the first to file papers you have the upper hand. Remember to document or screenshpt everything.
You should really be asking a lawyer in your area
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Make sure you Document everything and keep a log. Phone calls visits time arrived time left etc for future reference for you
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Our state WV we asked the secretary of our judge she said court order is an order covid doesn’t stop that
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It’s still in his time frame, he gets them.
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If mine didn’t show up that day and time he was suppose to it was forfeited
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If your in nz don’t bother with your lawyers tell him you’ve made other plans
Idk if it applies in Michigan but I’m in Texas and the judge told my ex 6:00 on Friday means 6:00 on Friday. It’s a court order that he has to abide by and you aren’t obligated to wait around for him to show.
I would double check for your state but I would document everything. If he doesn’t show up when he’s supposed to he’s violating a court order.
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If he’s scared of catching covid then why is he gonna come pick up the kids and ride in a closed in car with them to get them tested? If they’re positive then he’s gonna catch it. And besides all that covid has shown to be very low risk for kids to suffer to much if they are healthy. And he shouldn’t be so scared because fear weakens the immune system.
Anyways, I would keep the visitation (if he shows up) and right after I helped get the kids in the car I’d fake a sneeze just to make him paranoid lol
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I’m In Michigan, I got told if they don’t show up at court ordered time, give them 20-30 minutes to be nice, after that, they forfeit their time.
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Unless it specifically says in the order that his time is forfeited then it’s still his time. However after the designated time to pick up I’d make him come to you to get them
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I think he forfeited
It should be in the papers but going by my experience that is a forfeit and if it happens 3 times in a row he has to go to court to get visitation back. Atleast thats how my case was set up to protect the kids from trauma of no shows.
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Depends on your order and the judge. Unless there is a clause that states a time frame for being late, it’s still his time.
Keep a calendar of each weekend he no shows. Annotated with screenshots of text messages. File a motion to have his visitation reduced and ask for a 20 minute pick up window. Meaning if he is over 20 minutes late, his visit is canceled. He is doing this to control you. He probably doesn’t like the thought of you having free time without the kids.
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It does not mean that
Talk to a lawyer. To me if he doesn’t show up for visitation too bad for him. And who is taking their kids for covid tests when they’re not sick?
He stated he was not going to pick them up so ya he voluntarily gave up his time. I would contact your attorney and see how to handle the situation. I know that if you can prove that he has not had any contact with his kids because it is his choice you can look at abandonment. The best thing is to just contact your attorney.
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Typically they have 30-60 minutes from the time stated in the order and if they do not show up they forfeit their time. Speak to your lawyer and find out what the specifics are for your particular order.
In GA it had to be put in the custody agreement that after so long of him not showing he forfeited his visitation. In my situation, he only had supervised visits at my home for a few hours on a set day/time. After waiting at home for hours I had it put in that if he was more than 15 minutes late, he forfeited his visit. That way the kids and I could go do something rather than waiting for him to show up the last hour or so.
I would never deny my children time with their father.
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If you haven’t been keeping track try to keep a record now. Keep text messages, VM etc that prove he hasn’t taken his time. Get a lawyer. They can request that he pay the fees. Let your attorney request a parenting time revision. Make sure you put in the new agreement that if he’s more than 15 minutes late he forfeits that visit. If he misses 3 visits in a year he will forfeit visits all together. I knew my ex would be inconsistent. He wanted visits after 4 of years of no contact. My lawyer put in it that if he skips 3 visits he forfeits. He now has no rights to see them. He also had to pay my attorney fees. That was Michigan.
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Document EVERYTHING!
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I didn’t know we as moms were supposed to be getting our kids tested on the regular 
3 weeks my youngest was sick with a viral infection, 2 virtual visits and 1 in office visit later they finally agreed to testing her only because she developed diarrhea and she wasn’t even positive. So if i was you and he’s not there at the agreed time i wouldn’t give him the kids unless the kids were asking to go but if you have already made plans then stick with your plans. When the kids are older they will know who was there. Keep your head up and be the parents they need.
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That’s an excuse, he had other plans that were more important than his kids and hes using the covid card to cover his arse 
as fir him picking them up when he wants tell him either stick to your days otherwise boot it loser 
If he is not coming to scheduled visits, yes he forfeits the visit. He cannot just disrupt your life and schedule, plus he is basically letting the kids down. You keep track and keep notes of his reasons or conversations and what time and day he calls to cancel if he even does that at all. And you actually do have to give him 15min grace time to show before you can turn him away on a scheduled visit. But after 3 no shows without calls, then that is automatically reason for visits to be cut down.
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Been there but in Ky. Keep a calendar and log it all. When he no shows & his excuse, when he gets them and brings them back. My ex would use it as control, he would purposely not show up and message after saying “even if I don’t show up you still have to stay the full 2 hours in case I do”… so I did, for 6 months documenting everything. When we went back to court it was addressed and he lost visitation rights. BUT he was also on meth, so there’s that
Yes it means he forfeited his time…he doesn’t get to make it up
Yes. If you have court orders then the time he is legally allowed to get the kids is what’s on the orders. Any other time you are within your rights to refuse. If he turns up unannounced you don’t even have to open the door to him.
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Document EVERYTHING!
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In future leave the conversation at no he’s not picking them up. Don’t bite just leave it at that. Document everything
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What does your legal agreement say?? If you do not have one you will have to get legal counsel, go to court and get one with all the specifics that way it is clearly spelled out and there should be no misunderstandings.
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I understand it can be frustrating but you need to think about your kids and how you denying them time with their dad is going to impact them. If I were you I would keep keep record of everything but don’t deny your kids spending time with their dad. If he shows up to get them and you say no what do your kids think is happening? They’re going to think you said no regardless of your reasons why. There are so many mothers that wish the father of their child would take an interest and there are so many fathers that wish they could spend time with their children. You need to put personal feelings aside and do what’s best for your children.
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Far too many people have bought into the fear propaganda. It’s really sad.
Document everything. When this happened to us, the courts told us we had to wait ONE HOUR, then he forfeits his time. Also in Michigan:
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There are court orders for a reason. Continuity and routine are important when raising children. If he doesn’t show for his scheduled days he cant just turn up and take them .
Totally different if you have an arranged change of days occasionally for some reason
Get a lawyer …I never like to hear the bad parent accusation…always sounds like a custody battle to me
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This whole thing is nonsense and the only ones that suffer are the children. It’s like a childish game the adults play and the kids get the brunt of it.
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Umm does the doctor offer the test just because? Because the ones where I live don’t. You got to be sick or need it for work or school.
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Why if they have NO symptoms would you ever want to subject your kids to being COVID tested? If that’s the reason he is giving he is full of shit
Are you able to get random covid testing? In my state we only get tested if we have been exposed, if a child has cold symptoms stay home from school until tested, or going for surgery and need the test done? To me it sounds like he’s just making an excuse not to have his visit. Just keep it documented.
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No he forfeited his time when he doesn’t show up. Also why are you allowing your kids to be subjected to covid testing every week for no reason. Call a lawyer. There is no reason for a child to have to be tested every week. That test is not fun and it’s crazy to test them for no reason. No way id allow that. If you have custody and he has visitation you have the power to say no to test. You are over the medical decisions.
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If it’s court ordered that he picks them up on a specific day and time but he doesn’t show then yes you can tell him no.
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I live in Virginia what I was told by my Judge is give a 30min Grace period if no show then the other parent doesn’t get the child however every state IS different therefore before you take any advice off of here please please talk to an atty or someone with the courts or file with the courts.
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you asked him & he told you, That is not forfeiting his time I will agree, if he is supposed to have them from this day to that & he doesn’t show up, call him, if he says he won’t pick them up because you didn’t have them tested, he has a reason, But tell him if he isn’t going to pick them up when he is supposed to, at least call you to let you know
I get the whole “I don’t wanna get covid” stand point cuz… who does want covid 
however, nothing would stand in my way for me being a parent to my children. Cuz if they had covid I’d be right there with them taking care of them, covid or not. However… why would you get them tested regularly if they aren’t symptomatic? That’s a waste of resources others who need it could use, it’s uncalled for and uncomfortable for anyone to have done just to have it done. So yeah, if he didn’t show up, didn’t give you notice, then I’d let him know he forfeited his time. Courts are very specific. Pick up your child on your allotted time, or wait till your next visit unless there was something worked out between the two of you within a certain amount of time.
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It should be in your paperwork, I’m in VA and our court order clearly states after an hour it’s considered a no show and he forfeits his time. Good luck mama!
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F*** him… go to court and file a sole custody petition. His loss on missing his time with the kids. Take it and run. I wish my sons father did this
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In Ohio it’s 20 minutes late and you forfeit
This is so much bigger than being petty or forfeiting time. That’s going to affect his kids in ways he’s not prepared for. Waiting for him to show up. Wondering why he’s not there. Leads to not feeling like they’re good enough. That their dad doesn’t want them.
I waited for my dad one Father’s Day. I was 15. He never showed. I was done. I haven’t spoken to him since I was 21.
You need to prepare your kids and your ex more than you need to question about his time.
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Sounds like he is using the pandemic in order to pick and choose his visitation to when it’s convenient for him. Now, I’d say if he didn’t pick up at the scheduled time he forfeited since it’s not your job to wait around for whenever he feels like getting them. But I’d double check with an attorney so you don’t end up on contempt charges
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Work in a peds office and we do not test unless they have been exposed or have symptoms. There’s no reason to test on a regular basis. In GA if they don’t show up at pick up day and time then that’s their fault. You can also call your lawyer and tell them he’s not going by the court order and take him back to court. But that’s going to cost more money.
Just make sure you are keeping documentation of dates, times, when he doesn’t show up and if you do message him if he’s coming, once he responds yes or no, leave it at that, don’t get into
It with him. I understand your frustration that you don’t know if he’s taking the kids or not, just remember the kids will see this and it’s his loss.
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I would not hand my kids over to that guy
I think the father is just making excuses not to see them, or, not show up at a certain time. It will affect you and your kids. Just take it to court but try to not get it into your skin. You can get Covid-19 anywhere, he is just giving a poor excuse not to come all the way on a certain day and time.